DS (10) Loves Soccer, But Grandma Thinks It's a Bad Idea

[Goofyluver]

My DS (10) has several different medical diagnoses. He is 10, but is functioning at the level of a 7 year old, give or take a year. He has been playing soccer since he was 5. He loves it. He has never really participated in the games, he kind of just runs around and kicks the ball if it rolls directly to him. But, he loves it. He is gross motor delayed as well, and is much smaller (due to growth issues) than other kids his age. The size difference is beginning to become an issue, as is his cognitive delay (he doesn't really understand what he is supposed to do most of the time). But, he loooooves soccer. Right now, his grandpa is his coach, so this alleviates most of the comments and difficulties. However, we will be moving to a larger town and he wants to stay in soccer. My mother is stating that she does not think it's a good idea, because of his physical abilities, his size, and his cognitive delays. I'm worried because I never want him to feel like he is less than his peers. But, he loves soccer, and if he wants to play, then I see no issue! What do you think?

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I'd say go for it, but pick your team/league carefully. The league my son plays on would probably be perfect for your son -- it's very informal without a lot of emphasis on winning and losing. A more competitive program might not be as welcoming.

 

[famofsix]

I would continue DS in soccer since he loves it and it learning great skills in soccer and to being on a team. Around my town, we have several soccer leagues. One is a house league through the town that is competetive but mostly fun. Some kids join up to learn the game and the coaches are patient with those kids if they don't have much experience or skills. We also have groups at the Y and other gym places that have sessions for skills and a time to play an actual game. If you see he is frustrated by the his size perhaps he could be placed in a mixed age league or with kids a bit younger if he would be open to that. There is also special olympics to consider if they have a soccer league.
A bit off topic but there was an autistic high school kid here that made national news because he was the team manger for a basketball team at Greece Athena High School in Rochester, NY. He was given a chance to play in the last few minutes of the game and he made some incredible shots. His name was J Mac and he has a movie coming up about his life soon. I couldn't find a link to his story though sorry.
So my point is, your son loves the game so continue it. Down the road if he can't be competitive he may find a way to still participate like J-Mac did.

 

[KPeveler]

Absolutely no offense meant to your mother, but sometimes grandparents can be a little over-protective. as long as you think the league is safe for him, and relaxed enough he can have fun and not be "the slow kid who sits on the bench"

i was born with an innocent heart murmur that in no way restricted my ability to run, etc. however, my grandfather was convinced that i was dying, so he would never let me run or climb or anything. i am not saying that there is nothing going on with your son, but if grandparents are overprotective when nothing is wrong, i can imagine that they are even more protective when there are legitimate concerns about your son's happiness/safety.

i say let him play, as long as he is safe (we all hear horror stories about coaches) and happy!

 

[debster812]

I truly hope I am not overstepping my bounds, and absolutely mean no offense whatsover, but have you looked into a program called TOPSoccer? It's a league run by US Soccer that is specifically for any child with any type of disability or delay.

My DS LOVES LOVES LOVES soccer, and is currently playing 3 seasons a year. At last Fall's Opening Day parade, each TOPSoccer kid was paired up with a buddy from the Town League. They had a blast. DS was paired up with a little boy who used a wheelchair for the parade, but uses a walker to play soccer. This little boy's parents told me DS pushed him the entire way (about 1.5miles)

From what I've seen the program is great, and the kids have a blast, and they are grouped by ability, NOT by age. I know DS is counting the days til he's 12, and can help out.

 

[Goofyluver]

Absolutely no offense meant to your mother, but sometimes grandparents can be a little over-protective. as long as you think the league is safe for him, and relaxed enough he can have fun and not be "the slow kid who sits on the bench"

i was born with an innocent heart murmur that in no way restricted my ability to run, etc. however, my grandfather was convinced that i was dying, so he would never let me run or climb or anything. i am not saying that there is nothing going on with your son, but if grandparents are overprotective when nothing is wrong, i can imagine that they are even more protective when there are legitimate concerns about your son's happiness/safety.

i say let him play, as long as he is safe (we all hear horror stories about coaches) and happy!

You must have been able to tell what my mother is like from my OP. I just wanted others opinions. Thanks!

 

[missypie]

Ten years old is pretty old in "soccer years", when you consider that some kids start playing at 4. 10 is the 4th grade, which, around here, is the year before you can get on a select team. When DD was 10, her all girls team had been together for 4 years, and had only lost 3 non-tournament games in those 4 years. Although the team was truly formed from an open/blind draft, that first draft was incredible and we continued to get incredible girls. The girls practiced twice a week and played in all kinds of tournaments. There was only one team in all of north Texas that could beat them. Some of the girls were playing on two other teams and played or practiced every day of the week. The level of play on that team was incredible. If a novice or person with delayed physical abilities had been put on that team in the open draft, she would have felt very out of place. The coach would have played her...some...but not much. Even though it was a rec team, the team members and parents were VERY SERIOUS about it...it was not considered "just for fun."

My son, on the other hand, quit playing at 3rd grade. Same city, same league (only the boys' division). His last team didn't score a point all season. Any boy would have been welcome on that team and any level of skill probably would have been an improvement.

So it's hard to say what kind of reception your 10 year old will get in rec soccer....if someone at that level had been put on my daughter's team, the parents and coaches would have been polite but DYING inside; if the same person had been put on my son's team, everyone would have been thrilled to have him.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

When you register him for soccer in your new town, explain the situation to the league manager. Since he's smaller than most 10 year olds, perhaps he would be allowed to play on a younger team. You'll want to make sure you get a coach who understands your son's needs and is willing to make him a part of the team. I'll bet some accommodations can be made to include him on a team where he would be comfortable. I definitely wouldn't take him out of soccer if he loves it that much! It sounds like he's found something that truly makes him happy and he should be allowed to continue with it!

 

[nicoleakr]

I have a similar situation. My 9 year old is devolpmental delayed and is also diabetic with kidney complications. However I decieded along time ago that I would NEVER tell her that she couldn't do it. I believe with all my heart that is why she is so strong and has her own mine. Children with disabilties can do anything they want. She loves soccer and her girlscouts. (of course she loves disney just like her mother ) Good luck to you!!!!!!!!

 

[OneLittleSpark]

I say, if it makes him happy, go for it . As people here have said, do your research, talk to people and find out about the teams around, but if he wants to play football (trans: soccer), why not? If he goes into a team and isn't happy there, or it isn't working out, you can always look into switching teams a few weeks / months down the line.

 

[TDS373X]

My dd7 ASD started playing soccer at the Y as a 4y/o PeeWee she liked it. We then moved into a community that had their own athletic league so I signed her up as a 5 y/o PeeWee. A good way to get to know the kids in the neighborhood she liked it at first but by the end of the season was not wild about it....even at PeeWee some of the parents were telling their kids not to pass it to "that girl"... During the winter her OT gave me the flyer for the TOP soccer league in this area they have a spring and fall season. We gave it a try during the spring season which is more skills building and indoor. OMG!!! she totally LOVED it and hated to miss soccer to go to Disney. Bummed when it was over and couldn't wait for it to start in the fall. She felt like she fit in here. Now she is trying to patiently wait for spring season again. There are all different abilities and the kids if needed have a buddy on the field with them and in our area they have teams all the way to adult level. Our fall season started with a wonderful tournement that was way more then soccer games...each game had cheerleaders (high school cheerleaders paried with the special needs cheerleaders) a marching band, opening ceremonies, face painting, award presentation. BIG deal....I could go on but I think that soccer is great for your son I even convinced a doubting grandma of this all she had to do is watch her granddaughter

 

[Coll0610]

Our local league is affiliated with AYSO soccer (instead of US Soccer). In the magazine we get they have talked about their program for those with special needs. It's called VIP (Very Important Players). Our town doesn't have a VIP program, but I know they have let children in a similar situation play with a younger age group. Check with them ahead of time to see if you will need any documentation first. By the way, our program registers before Mother's Day for the fall and it can be hard to get placed on a team if you register late so be sure to do your research far in advance.

 

[WildGrits]

My daughter loved Top Soccer. I didn't realize they where national. IF you can't find one locally, maybe you could start one.

Sometimes when you want something bad enough for your kids, you just have to step up to the plate.

 

[meeskamouska]

I think you mother is crazy!!!!

Don't jump all over me people....Goofyluver is my best friend!!!

I know ho wmuch he loves soccer....I love the idea of seeing if he could play with some younger kiddos when you guys make the adjustment.
That Top Soccer sounds like something to look into also....