Drop the Facade . . . and the Pounds - Amanda's WISH Journal (comments welcome)

[pearlieq]

Oh, weddings are always a good reason to get in shape! I'm sure that will help motivate you!

I hope you're having a great day!

 

[calena]

Just wanted to say Hi. Looks like you have some good goals to work on. The wedding sounds great. My nephew is most likely getting married in September too. His mom, my sister, died in 2003 of cancer, so I want to be there for him and to look good to boot!
I know what you mean about not wanting to diet but have a wellness plan. I am struggling with that in my life. I want results and I feel I need some structure, so we will see. GOOD LUCK to us all. Have a great day and keep up the good work.

 

[contempgal]

May 19, 2005


Well, so let me explain my MIA over the past couple of days. On Wed., I wasn't feeling too great at work but stuck it out. I decided that I would still go on my walk when I got home and did. I was feeling so proud of myself for still going even though I wasn't feeling up to it. First half of walk - great, second half - not so great. By the time I made it home, I was feeling wretched. It was like that feeling you get when you haven't ate (though I had) so I decided to eat some chicken to see it it would help, nope. Within minutes, I was so sick I couldn't do anything. To make a long story short, I had a stomach virus that I'm just getting over this evening. I'm combining my lackluster eating for the past 2 days into this post.

LUNCH: 1 bowl chicken noodle soup

DINNER: 1 bowl double noodle soup, 5 or 6 strawberries


May 20, 2005

Felt better today but still didn't feel like eating much until this evening.

BREAKFAST: 1 Nutragrain cereal bar

LUNCH: 1 bowl chicken noodle soup

DINNER: 1.5 servings taco salad (ground turkey, lettuce, tomato, jalepeno, onion, taco shells, cilantro salsa, low fat sour cream reduced fat cheese)

I was able to get 2 separate 20 minute stationary bike rides in today followed by leg lifts and rotations of weights. This was all this evening when I was feeling a bit back to normal. Weather prevented me from walking.

I do full mucho better today and will be back to journaling and walking tomorrow (hopefully!)

 

[contempgal]

May 21, 2005


BREAKFAST: 1 bowl Fruit Harvest cereal with strawberries and peaches, 1/2 cup 2% milk

Feeling much better today but still don't feel quite at 100%. Today is, of course, my weigh in day. I told myself before I even got on the scales that this week will be a strange week because 1) I was sick and didn't eat well (at least Thursday) and 2) it's TOM. Got on and was down 2.4 pounds, which I'll take. I think this puts me at exactly a 10 pound loss. I'll take it!

I did ride the stationary bike for 20 minutes followed by leg lifts and rotations with the weights. I hope to walk later. Right now though, I plan on getting ready and heading out to enjoy the perfectly blue WV skies. I hope to read some journals sometime today to get caught up. I'm way behind. Hope everyone is doing well!

LUNCH: 1.5 servings leftover taco salad

Well, I remembered early that tonight was prom for my cousin and since I live close to the country club where it will be held, many people would be coming here to see them. Glad I did as it enabled me to get a walk in. Felt wonderful. 1 3/4 mile walk on the rec trail.

Had a bit too much for lunch but my appetite is finally coming back and I was just plain hungry. Then I get this e-mail that sort of gave me conflicting emotions. The friend I mentioned before that stayed at my house and was going to New York, well he sent me an e-mail. We've been close for a long time and in the message he tells me how proud he is that I have started this journey of mine and how he has always been able to see my inner beauty. I love him for that. But in it, he mentions how people around him (people who are also supposed to be my friend) have made nasty comments about me being overweight. Needless to say, when I read this I wanted to cry. The thing is, I KNOW I'm overweight. I know that. I am not an idiot. But these people are supposed to be my friends and while it always hurts to hear that someone has been making fun of you, it hurts even more when you hear that it was people who act so caring in front of your face. It hurts and I'm even having trouble writing about it here.

So now I'm torn.....I'm trying to convince myself only to listen to his wonderful words of encouragement and how he knows the real me and not let the news of others nastiness bother me. I know he told me because he wanted me to know how much he has always and will always support me and he had no intentions of using that little bit of info to hurt me. But it does. Now I just need to figure out how to use this to keep my goals in mind. I am better than them. I AM BETTER THAN THEIR WORDS. I just need to keep repeating that. It's not easy though. Not at all. I think I'm going to get out of the house for a bit and clear my head. I need to buy DN a present to take to a birthday party tomorrow anyway.

DINNER: 1 piece baja chipotle grilled chicken, 1 serving grilled onions, couple grilled tomatoes, 1 serving broccoli

Ok, I'm over my pity party. Not letting anyone rain on my parade. A good hour or so of shopping cleared my mind. I have decided that I will not let anything steer me from my journey.

Decided to walk to the country club to see my cousin and his girlfriend dressed for prom. Uphill all the way (the way back down was nice, lol) and was completely out of breath by the time I made it all the way. Don't regret it though. Needed it. Cooked dinner and then rode the bike for 20 minutes followed by leg lifts and rotations with the weights. Feeling good. I now have to sew up one of DN pillows that came apart when I washed it. Oops and then I have to run back out to the store. I likely will be late posting tomorrow but not sure.

Have a nice night!

Quote of the Day: "You may have to fight a battle more than once to win." -- Margaret Thatcher

 

[contempgal]

May 22, 2005


BREAKFAST: 1 whole wheat bagel - 1/2 pure raspberry preserves, 1/2 pure black cherry preserves

Didn't sleep well last night but not totally sure why. I wanted to sleep in this morning but that didn't happen. Did allow me to ride the bike for the normal 20 minutes followed by the leg lifts and weight lifts. I'm getting ready to hop in the shower and then I'm heading to my parents house. Plan on some sort of physical activity there today. We'll see how that goes.

LUNCH/DINNER: 1.5 pieces fried chicken, 1 biscuit, 1/2 serving corn, 1/2 serving mashed potatoes

You know, I love my southern family but don't always love southern meals. Fried, fried, fried but good, good, good. Not exactly what I was planning for today but it's what they had and so I ate. I will consider it a treat and get back on plan tomorrow. Unfortunately, the weather prevented any major physical activity. Did do some frisbee and a bit of basketball but not happy with that.

DESSERT: 1.5 servings sugar free triple chocolate ice cream

Yummy!!!

Did go through some weight rotations when I made it home and also rode the bike for 20 more minutes, then leg lifts. Kinda makes me feel a bit better about the food choices for today.

Need to do better tomorrow!


Quote of the Day: “Victory belongs to the most persevering.” --Napoleon Bonaparte

 

[joelyfaithsmommy]

Keep up the good work, I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT! I'm new to WISH too, but wanted to say hello!

Jen

 

[contempgal]

May 23, 2005


BREAKFAST: 1 sugar free black cherry yogurt, 1 banana

Well, the week is off to a roaring start. Didn't actually get up and ride the bike this morning. I just kept thinking about how much work I was going to have when I returned to work after being out Thursday and Friday. Anyway, I do feel better now. Forcast calls for scattered thunderstorms but I hope I can get a clearing long enough to walk this evening. If not, I will ride. Also need to get back on the water wagon. I've done okay but not great.

LUNCH: 1 can chicken noodle soup (chicken removed), 10 or so harvest wheat thins

Forgot the soup was in the microwave so cooked it way too long....then the chicken was just nasty. I love Progresso soup and I'm hoping this was just a one can deal. I'm buried in work today, as expected. I had over 30 phone messages to return. I love those ones that call and say "I've left you a message already and you haven't returned my call." Of course I haven't, that's because I was in bed for 2 days and didn't even leave my house. They go directly to the bottom of the return call pile.

So far, no thunderstorms, so hopefully it will hold off until I can walk!!

SNACK: 100 calorie pack - Chips Ahoy

Wow, those things are too good. A new TREAT!

DINNER: 1.5 servings taco salad

Taco salad - the gift that doesn't stop giving. How many days have I been eating on this thing? It's too good though.

I normally try to get my walk in just after work but yesterday, just about the time I was walking out the door.........the skies grew very dark and the wind picked up considerably. So I went home, ate dinner and then looked out and decided to chance it. Seeing the skies become even darker, I think I've walked faster than I ever have . When it started to sprinkle, I considered turning around but did manage to push myself to keep at it. I didn't go as far as I had hoped but did walk about 1.2 miles. Of course, halfway back it starts to pour and I get drenched. Then, as expected, as soon as I started back home, it cleared up. I was able to ride the stationary bike for 40 minutes last night (two separate 20 minute rides) and did some leg lifts and weight rotations. Overall, good day.




Quote of the Day: "Never talk defeat. Use words like hope, belief, faith, victory." -- Norman Vincent Peale

 

[joelyfaithsmommy]

Me again!

Ok, so I finally had the chance to go back and read your whole journal and I have to say I'm so impressed with your will power!!! YOU'RE AWESOME!

I also saw where you said you quit drinking soda, and I've done that as well. It's just something my body doesn't need, and I've drank waaaaay too much of it for waaaay tooo long! So I'm ONLY drinking water, milk or juice from now on. PERIOD!

I don't need the caffene, or all that other junk! ya know?

So you said you just graduated, what is your degree in if I may ask? I am in college now working on my Master's Degree.

Jen

 

[contempgal]

So you said you just graduated, what is your degree in if I may ask? I am in college now working on my Master's Degree.

My degree is in Organizational Leadership. I started college right out of high school studying social and behavioral science .......... did 3 years ....... got married ........... and quit. I've worked at a University for 8 years and after I got married, I kind of felt like I lived at the school so I quit. I ended up starting again with a little nudge from a coworker. I went to class 1 night a week for 18 months and was able to finish the degree. In October, I start my Masters degree (hopefully). It will also be 18 months, 1 night a week. That way, I don't think I'll feel as if I live here. LOL

The University does pay for my tuition though so that's cool.

 

[TigerCheer2009]

Hey!!! Finally made it back! You're doing pretty well. I just popped in to say...I love the quotes you put at the end of your posts!!!

 

[joelyfaithsmommy]

kewl! I didn't even start college til all three of my kidos were born!
I've officially been in school 6 years! FULL TIME omg! LOL, I"m now working full timefor the summer, and then back to the grind in the fall....I have 12 credit hours left to earn my Masters...and I'm considering a PhD, however, I may be insane, the jury's still out on that one

hang in there, we're all with ya!

Jen

 

[contempgal]

May 24, 2005

I find it much easier to get out of bed when the sun is shining brightly. Today wasn't one of those bright, sunshiny days. It's supposed to be cold and gloomy here all day. Lovely. Somehow, though, I was able to push myself up to ride the bike. 20 minutes, leg lifts, weight rotations. I feel like I need to tighten the resistance on the bike because I don't think I'm getting much out of it. I tried to do that yesterday but it didn't work. I'll have to figure it out.

BREAKFAST: 1 sugar free black cherry yogurt

I'm normally not too big on sugar free yogurt but this one is pretty good. I've only liked the black cherry though. Lunch should be good today --- going to a local place with two former classmates. Should be nice!

LUNCH: grilled chicken sandwhich, few french fries

Don't you hate it when you get to a restaurant and they have virtually nothing that will help you on your diet? So the chicken sandwhich wasn't too awful bad though I pretty much just picked at the chicken on it. The fries -- I don't even like fries and didn't order them but they were put on the plate. I ate a couple but not much. Bad food but good resistance, lol. The company was wonderful though!!

SNACK: 1 100 calorie pack - Chips Ahoy

DINNER: 1.5 breadsticks with cheese and pizza sauce, 1.5 servings chicken curry with basmati rice

There's that rice again. At least I've been light on it for a while. I didn't do my walk today -- 50 degrees and rain all day. Instead I rode the bike for 20 minutes and did leg lifts and weights. Not happy with my eating for today but keep telling myself that 1) it could have been much worse and 2) there will be days like this. Tomorrow is a new day!!


Quote of the Day: "Don't be afraid to be amazing." -- Andy Offutt Irwin

 

[contempgal]

May 25, 2005

BREAKFAST: 1 sugar free peach yogurt, 1 large banana

Well, I was able to roll myself out of bed for the normal morning routine (20 minute stat bike, legs, weights). I didn't want to but after hitting the snooze button twice, I convinced myself to get up.

Today looks like its going to be another blah day. No rain in the forecast but it is very dark and dreary. A peak of sunshine is expected to shine through later but the temp is only supposed to reach the mid 50's. Where oh where is summer???? I guess it will make for an ok walking day.

I forgot to mention that I am taking a nice little jaunt to Ocean City, MD next week. I leave on Monday and will be back on Saturday night so I won't be posting during that time. I will, however, be journaling what I ate/exercised to post upon my return. My hotel is on the boardwalk so I hope to walk it at least once a day. My friend owns an Indian restaurant there so I think I can eat fairly healthy and well. DN is going with me (so is 1 sister) and is super excited. He lived there before but was too little to enjoy the beach and atmosphere. I hope it will at least warm up somewhat for the trip.

LUNCH: 3/4 bowl minestrone soup; 10 or so wheat thins

Had to hide the wheat thins from myself. I would have easily sat here and ate the whole box. I have this tendency to pop things in my mouth as I'm working without truly even thinking about it.

SNACK: 1 piece wheat bread, 2 pieces cracked pepper turkey

I guess the sun is on strike in WV. I thought it was supposed to come out in the evening but nope, not here. Like I had hoped, it did make for a pretty nice walking day. It started to sprinkle as I drove to the trail but didn't rain any while I walked. I made it 1 3/4 miles.

DINNER: 1.5 servings chicken curry with basmati rice

Love it. Can't help it.

Rode bike for 20 more minutes followed by legs, weights. Hoping to hit the sack early tonight but that depends on DN. Also need to check up on journals but that may have to wait until tomorrow. I'll see how it goes.

Later!!




Quote of the Day: "When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life." -- Greg Anderson

 

[pearlieq]

Hope you have a very fun weekend! That sounds like a great trip!

I totally hear what you're saying about the sun--I always get a lift from the sun shining.

Hope you have a great day today! Keep up the great work!

 

[contempgal]

May 26, 2005


BREAKFAST: 4 or so bites of lower sugar maple and brown sugar oatmeal

I'm not a huge fan of maple or brown sugar so I'm not totally sure why I bought this flavor of oatmeal. Anyway, it does taste very maply and brown sugary but I didn't like it. Ended up taking a few bites and throwing it away.

So guess what? THE SUN HAS MADE AN APPEARANCE! I'm so excited to actually see it. Today is supposed to be sunny and beautiful. Finally! Of course, it doesn't help when I have to spend most of the day cooped inside in front of a computer. I guess if I win the lottery (which I don't play), I won't have to worry about that anymore.

I've also decided that getting up early every morning to ride the bike is just making me really tired so I'm going to do it every other morning. We'll see how that works. Since I rode yesterday, today is a no ride day. I hope to enjoy the sunshine with a walk this evening and maybe ride some tonight. I still don't think I'm getting much out of it but for some reason, it makes me feel better to ride.

Anyway, now its off to read some journals. I'm so behind!!

LUNCH: bagel sammy with grilled chicken, canadian bacon, lettuce, tomato, provolone; 1 fruit salad cup with 2 tbs. whipped cream

Went to lunch with my sister and aunt to Macado's. Since my breakfast fiasco, I was very hungry. Though I love their turkey trot, I opted for the smaller bagel sammy without mayo. I asked for fruit instead of chips and they brought me out this awesome fruit salad in a sundae cup with a bit of whipped cream on top. I know I could have done without the whipped cream but it was just a little and delicous.........and it was on fruit! LOL Better than chips. Food was great!!

DINNER: 1 can homestyle chicken noodle soup, 1.5 servings chocolate fudge brownie frozen yogurt

Wow, it has been such a gorgeous day. I went home, put on my walking shoes and went out for a 1 3/4 mile walk. I have noticed over the past two days though that my right knee starts to feel weak on the walk back. Not painful, just uncomfortable. I may try stretching it out some right before walking the next time.

DN is at the carnival with my dad so I decided that I didn't want a heavy dinner .......... and I would treat myself with the B&J's frozen yogurt. I decided on chicken noodle soup because its quick, easy and always good. The yogurt was even better though. LOL

After dinner, I rode the bike for my standard 20 minutes followed by leg lifts and weights.

Tomorrow should be another pretty day.........looking forward to it!!


Quote of the Day: "Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow." --Mahatma Gandhi

 

[keenercam]

Wow! I am so impressed by how diligent you have been about getting up to work out in the morning, especially on dreary days. I agree that there is something about the that makes it so much easier to self-motivate.

Congratulations on doing so well with your meals. Everything you have written the past few days seems very reasonable and "real life" and controlled. So, pat yourself on the back!

Have a great day! Friday is almost here. I am hoping the sun will come out soon!

 

[goldcupmom]

You're doing GREAT, Amanda! I'm a morning person and I still can't get up and workout early. KUDOS!!

Hope the trip to MD goes well and you can enjoy!

Your food looks great....I'd say you're well on the way to a new you!

 

[TPCShauna]

I actually don't mind it being a little cloudy because that usually means that it is cooler here. We are in the midst of a heat wave with temps in the low 90s so I am desperate for more comfortable weather. Good for you for exercising despite the gloom!

 

[contempgal]

May 27, 2005


Thanks Shauna, Julie and Cam! Your support means a lot to me.

BREAKFAST: 1 cherry Nutragrain cereal bar

You can sure tell its Friday because I am completely dragging today. When my alarm went off this morning, I automatically hit the snooze button. When it went off again, my destructive talk kicked in and I started telling myself that I didn't have to get up, I could just not exercise this morning. Then I realized that I had posted in my journal for all to see that I had just changed my routine to ride the bike every other morning and this morning was one that I needed to do. With that, I sleepily arose and was able to ride for 20 long minutes followed by legs and weights. I literally thought I was going to fall asleep on the bike but didn't! By the end of the ride, I felt much better.

I'm having issues with being so tired..........no so much during the day but in the morning and at night especially (and by night, I mean like around 8:00 which is normally very early for me). I've posted before that I'm not too happy with the vitamins I'm taking now and I think as soon as this bottle is gone (or maybe before), I'm going to switch them. Anyone else have ideas for more energy in morning and/or night?

I may try to skim through some journals today but this is my last day at work for a week so I have so much I need to take care of. If I don't get to your journal during the day, I'll try to tonight or tomorrow evening.

LUNCH: 1 can homestyle chicken noodle soup; turkey sammy (2 slices wheat bread, 3 thin slices cracked pepper turkey)

Yes, I'm still on the chicken noodle soup kick. I don't know what it is but I was just craving it. Chicken noodle soup instead of chocolate, that's an improvement. Anyway, I was hungry.

I'm a bit concerned about tomorrow's bridal party trip. We are being fitted for the bridesmaids gowns. To be honest, I don't think they will have one to fit me at the point but that's what I'm working on. Needless to say, I'm feeling a bit antsy over the whole thing. I'll deal though. My treat for doing this -- IHOP! God, I love that place. I will be careful with what I eat but plan to eat what I want.

DINNER: 1 cup basmati rice, 1 serving vegetables with spices, 1.5 servings cherry garcia frozen yogurt

Beautiful weather = nice walk. 1 3/4 mile walk. Again though, my right knee hurt and felt weak. Not sure what is going on there. Also rode the bike for 15 minutes followed by legs and weights.

Tomorrow is weigh in day and I'm not really looking forward to it. I just don't feel it this week.


Quote of the Day: "In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you." --Deepak Chopra

 

[goldcupmom]

I'm usually up by 5:30 , tho I don't have to be as I'm a SAHM. Just habit. Then I want to go to bed like 8 - 8:30. I think your body just requires a certain amount of down time. You're doing really good at staying on track and exercising. I know this will work.

Hang in there and have a GREAT weekend!!