Driving Nightmare!

[DonaldnDaisy5]

We are driving to Disney in November. We've made the trip 3 times as a married couple/faimly. Prior to I drove as a child every year with my family.

First trip dh, ds, dd, fil, mil, & dn. In a 7 passenger van!!! Mil and I rode in back with the kids the whole way. It was not an enjoyable ride.

Flash forward six years and two blissful trips of just our family of four and then five in our eight passenger suv.

Now planning our November trip my dh springs on me that he's thinking of changing how we make the drive (straight through from MI) if his parents want to follow us, as he admits he would rather do the straight through because he feels more tired when sleeping in hotels for one night and two days in the car.
THEN he drops the bomb of well we'd save gas money if we all rode together. Um no not a good plan. I don't want to ride in my backseat for 18 hours butt to butt with a carseat and my mil while my fil enjoys my large front seat not to mention inlaws are going to have the fight to end all fights over whether or not to bring another grandchild which would mean NO extra space. Plus I admittedly am an over packer. Like bad! Especially for November when I have to pack for two seasons and I do NOT want to do laundry on vacation, just my preference, but I shouldn't have to change that, right?

Plus gas money saved is canceled by two nights in a hotels on the drive not to mention more meals on the road both ways since the drive is spread out over four days.....SO this is an awful idea right? Gas is cheaper out of Michigan, right (we live an hourish from the OH border)?
Help me with a logical argument on why this is a horrible idea or tell me where I can find very strong tape for dh mouth every time we're with his parents or perhaps a good sized brick? ??

 

[Carriesouthard]

Lol, this made me laugh!!! I could never survive a trip like that...18 hours cramped in the back with my MIL, no way!!!!! Plus you are right, savings go out the window with stopping at hotels instead of going straight through. Good luck!!!!!!

 

[sam_gordon]

We are driving to Disney in November. We've made the trip 3 times as a married couple/faimly. Prior to I drove as a child every year with my family.

First trip dh, ds, dd, fil, mil, & dn. In a 7 passenger van!!! Mil and I rode in back with the kids the whole way. It was not an enjoyable ride.

Flash forward six years and two blissful trips of just our family of four and then five in our eight passenger suv.

Now planning our November trip my dh springs on me that he's thinking of changing how we make the drive (straight through from MI) if his parents want to follow us, as he admits he would rather do the straight through because he feels more tired when sleeping in hotels for one night and two days in the car.
THEN he drops the bomb of well we'd save gas money if we all rode together. Um no not a good plan. I don't want to ride in my backseat for 18 hours butt to butt with a carseat and my mil while my fil enjoys my large front seat not to mention inlaws are going to have the fight to end all fights over whether or not to bring another grandchild which would mean NO extra space. Plus I admittedly am an over packer. Like bad! Especially for November when I have to pack for two seasons and I do NOT want to do laundry on vacation, just my preference, but I shouldn't have to change that, right?

Plus gas money saved is canceled by two nights in a hotels on the drive not to mention more meals on the road both ways since the drive is spread out over four days.....SO this is an awful idea right? Gas is cheaper out of Michigan, right (we live an hourish from the OH border)?
Help me with a logical argument on why this is a horrible idea or tell me where I can find very strong tape for dh mouth every time we're with his parents or perhaps a good sized brick? ??

Tell him 'OK'. But you don't want him to be tired/stressed from driving all that way by himself and you'll split the driving with him. Of course, to be nice to his parents, he'll need to sit in the back (where you would while he's driving). Maybe he'll get the hint?

 

[rwdavis2]

Tell him 'OK'. But you don't want him to be tired/stressed from driving all that way by himself and you'll split the driving with him. Of course, to be nice to his parents, he'll need to sit in the back (where you would while he's driving). Maybe he'll get the hint?

Exactly. Tell him you will do the driving.

 

[DonaldnDaisy5]

Yeah well part of his reasoning is then there are more people to share the driving. We usually do take turns when its the two of us, but last trip with the inlaws he and fil drove and the rest of us were crammed in the back! Oh!!! And he said not to worry about packing space because we could get one of the metal things that sit in the trailer hitch for extra storage....UM HELLO this saving money on gas is costing me a lot!!!!

 

[Desnik]

Tell him 'OK'. But you don't want him to be tired/stressed from driving all that way by himself and you'll split the driving with him. Of course, to be nice to his parents, he'll need to sit in the back (where you would while he's driving). Maybe he'll get the hint?

I love this! That's perfect, OP, tell him this!!

I've done the drive from NY with DH, our then 9mo DD, and my MIL. It was surprisingly great! Her & DH took turns driving straight through while I sat in the back with DD.

We drive from NY with our 2 kids (will be going again in Aug) and if you were to tell me to do the drive with my parents? I'd rather stay home. Seriously not worth it at all!

But it's all about boundaries, isn't it? You do what you are comfortable with! If your in laws want to hitch a ride with you, they have to follow your rules. Those rules being you will drive straight through, sit in the front seat of your own car, and not add another child to your plans! It's ok to tell them that. If they don't like it, they can drive in their own car with their other grandchild and meet you there.

As for over packing, I can't relate! I've got us down to 1 bag each! Although, I know how tough that is with a fall/winter trip! We went last year for Xmas & the temps were every where from 35 degrees to 75 degrees! We had to pack clothing for all sorts of weather & that was hard to pack for. But, we've gone to Disney in Nov many times and the weather is perfect. Dec was much harder to pack for.

 

[DonaldnDaisy5]

I love this! That's perfect, OP, tell him this!!

I've done the drive from NY with DH, our then 9mo DD, and my MIL. It was surprisingly great! Her & DH took turns driving straight through while I sat in the back with DD.

We drive from NY with our 2 kids (will be going again in Aug) and if you were to tell me to do the drive with my parents? I'd rather stay home. Seriously not worth it at all!

But it's all about boundaries, isn't it? You do what you are comfortable with! If your in laws want to hitch a ride with you, they have to follow your rules. Those rules being you will drive straight through, sit in the front seat of your own car, and not add another child to your plans! It's ok to tell them that. If they don't like it, they can drive in their own car with their other grandchild and meet you there.

As for over packing, I can't relate! I've got us down to 1 bag each! Although, I know how tough that is with a fall/winter trip! We went last year for Xmas & the temps were every where from 35 degrees to 75 degrees! We had to pack clothing for all sorts of weather & that was hard to pack for. But, we've gone to Disney in Nov many times and the weather is perfect. Dec was much harder to pack for.

I wish my inlaws understood boundaries but the concept is beyond them. My dh is not great at setting them and following through them for his parents either.

And November should be easier to pack for but our last November trip was freakish cold and now I am paranoid as I spent every night washing our warm clothes...

 

[Neesy228]

I think I would rather walk to Disney than sit in a car with my in laws for 18 hours.

I would explain how any savings are lost with a hotel stay and added food costs, and then recommend flying. if that didn't work, I'd tell him that I would fly to save space for your in laws

Good luck!!

 

[minnierocks]

Tell him you will be flying so that you can check in early and prepare for their arrival!

 

[ain0004]

I can give no suggestions. We live about an hour south of Toledo, so not that far from you. We have always said we will drive. So far I have been able to get airline tickets within DH budget and we have flown.
I totally agree, DH can drive with the in laws. You fly down, and will be waiting and everything checked and ready to go for their arrivals.
Other option. Express to DH, there is no way in this Earth that you are going to give up driving and your seat. Yes, you will be willing to take turns. If he has a problems with this, again express his happy butt can sit in the back. I would think for everyone's peace of mind. You would have to drive the 18 hours in one stretch. I would start in the evening, and hope to be in disney by lunch the next day.

 

[richmo]

My immediate thought is if the drive each way is going to make you so miserable, it ceases to be a vacation.

I also understand the desire to save some money and sometimes driving may be the answer. But maybe there's other ways to save some $$$. I don't know what kinds of accommodations you're looking at, but you can save a fortune by renting a house/condo as opposed to renting several rooms at Disney. Yes, you lose a little of the magic, but you gain a little sanity by spreading everyone out. Might be worth looking into.

Also, you're talking November. I'm going to assume you don't mean Thanksgiving week. If that's the case, demand and crowds are low at Disney. You should be able to find decent airfares and excellent car rental rates (although you probably won't see those until late October).

My last piece of advice, if you fly, is to consider renting two vehicles. Since you have a large group, its nice to not have to have the whole group stay together all the time. As I'm sure you know, with a large group that stays together, the group moves as quickly as the slowest member. I should also point out that it can sometimes be much cheaper to rent two midsize-ish vehicles than one mini/fullsize van. However, keep in mind that if you have two cars, thats double the parking fees at WDW.

Hope you figure something out!

 

[DonaldnDaisy5]

Flying although I am sure would be much faster is not an option. We are going thanksgiving week so prices are high and we are a family of five so the price of tickets alone is nutty. Plus over packer I like being limited only by how heavy dh can lift (and he is strong) not silly airline fees.

My kids are great riders and I honestly don't mind the drive. We rock out, talk, play games, kids watch movies and play their hand helds. its not that bad especially when the older two can rotate between the third row alone.

Its the thought of having two or three more bodies that makes me hyperventilate!

We are also staying onsite. In our own rooms. My husband was ok with the cost of the trip. It was his idea and his families idea (two other families are meeting us there) but car pooling or caravan-ing was not part of the deal!!!!

 

[maxiesmom]

My immediate thought is if the drive each way is going to make you so miserable, it ceases to be a vacation.

That was my first thought. You deserve to be able to enjoy your whole vacation. If being crammed in the car is his idea of fun, tell him you will drive and he can sit in back the whole way. No way do I think you should let him push you into something you know will make you miserable. No way!!!

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

That was my first thought. You deserve to be able to enjoy your whole vacation. If being crammed in the car is his idea of fun, tell him you will drive and he can sit in back the whole way. No way do I think you should let him push you into something you know will make you miserable. No way!!!

Amen!

It's your vacation too. You shouldn't have to be miserable for 4 days for the convenience of others.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

Flying although I am sure would be much faster is not an option. We are going thanksgiving week so prices are high and we are a family of five so the price of tickets alone is nutty. Plus over packer I like being limited only by how heavy dh can lift (and he is strong) not silly airline fees.

My kids are great riders and I honestly don't mind the drive. We rock out, talk, play games, kids watch movies and play their hand helds. its not that bad especially when the older two can rotate between the third row alone.

Its the thought of having two or three more bodies that makes me hyperventilate!

We are also staying onsite. In our own rooms. My husband was ok with the cost of the trip. It was his idea and his families idea (two other families are meeting us there) but car pooling or caravan-ing was not part of the deal!!!!

I'd tell him this. That you aren't ok with car pooling or carvaning. There isn't enough room for others in the vehicle and if he insists on it, you will be flying. Not the whole family - you. Then there would be enough space for whomever he wants to bring and he can deal with it and the kids on the drive.

You could fly with just one carryon suitcase for you with your necessities for a couple of days and the rest of the luggage including what you need could be in the van with the rest of the family. You could take DME to the resort and check in and have an extra day to relax and have fun for yourself.

Good luck!

 

[momof3ds]

Ugh, I hate sitting in the back. I get car sick!

No way would be smooshing more people in the car. Take 2 cars or rent a larger car.

 

[Lewisc]

I'd tell him this. That you aren't ok with car pooling or carvaning. There isn't enough room for others in the vehicle and if he insists on it, you will be flying. Not the whole family - you. Then there would be enough space for whomever he wants to bring and he can deal with it and the kids on the drive.

You could fly with just one carryon suitcase for you with your necessities for a couple of days and the rest of the luggage including what you need could be in the van with the rest of the family. You could take DME to the resort and check in and have an extra day to relax and have fun for yourself.

Good luck!

+1 Really not enough room for 7 people and luggage for a long trip. You've driven in the past and didn't have an issue. My first suggestion would be 2 cars. Sorry Dad but as the kids have grown there isn't room in the car for everyone and their luggage.

We want you to drive at your own speed. You can borrow my GPS or we'll get you a AAA TripTik, or show you how to use your smartphone for navigation. How many hours do you want to drive? We'll give you some suggestions as to where you might stay. Call AAA if you break down. I'll put their number in your cellphoen.

Plan B would be to follow the suggestion and book a flight for one passenger. Save your sanity and free up some room in your van.

I don't know the age or health of the parents but unless driving is a real issue I'd just let them take their own car.

Caravaning with other people driving through. I wouldn't try to follow each other. Use cellphones. If you're reasonably close to each other arrange to stop at the same place for a meal. Restaurant, fast food, picnic...whatever you're planning. If you're not that close just meet up after you check in.

Different people, driving different vehicles, will travel at different speeds.

 

[DonaldnDaisy5]

Thank you all for letting me know I am not the crazy one in this situation! !!

Driving distance is not an issue for inlaws one son lives in Savannah and they make that drive yearly to see them.

 

[Kristibo42]

Not sure how old your in-laws are but they won't be around for ever. My are 87 and 84. We have taken many trips with them. We have taken a summer trip with them for the last 15 years. Last one was to Virginia Beach. 8 of us. My DH,DD, in-laws and my sister-in-law and her husband. I sat in the back seat all the way. Never complaining once. Yes a was cramped but the memories my daughter will have of her grandparents are worth it. Yes over the years we have had to go slower take our time sit and rest more. I would love for them to go to Disney with us. They have never been but at this stage in their life's I don't see it happening. It will be sad when we can no longer make trips with them. So I say just deal with it for your kids.

 

[maxiesmom]

Not sure how old your in-laws are but they won't be around for ever. My are 87 and 84. We have taken many trips with them. We have taken a summer trip with them for the last 15 years. Last one was to Virginia Beach. 8 of us. My DH,DD, in-laws and my sister-in-law and her husband. I sat in the back seat all the way. Never complaining once. Yes a was cramped but the memories my daughter will have of her grandparents are worth it. Yes over the years we have had to go slower take our time sit and rest more. I would love for them to go to Disney with us. They have never been but at this stage in their life's I don't see it happening. It will be sad when we can no longer make trips with them. So I say just deal with it for your kids.

They can still all vacation together. They just don't have to ride down in the same car. The OP has already been there, done that, and didn't enjoy it at all. I don't think a guilt trip is really necessary.

The OP can make great memories at the resort and at the parks. And she should still feel free to enjoy the ride down too.