Driving in Dallas, Tx

[ElizK]

Received the following in an email today. This is so true!:



First you must learn to pronounce the cityname. It is DAL-LUS, or
DAA-LIS depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.

Next, if your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a newone. If in Denton County and your Mapsco is one-day-old, then it is already obsolete. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.

Dallas has its own version of traffic rules..."Hold on and pray." There
is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drive like that.

All directions start with, "Get on Beltline". Which has no beginning and no end. (It REALLY DOESN'T!!!)

The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3
to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed
out and possibly shot.

When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the
light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers
running the red light in cross-traffic.

Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. We had sooo much fun with that we have added George Bush Freewayand the High Five to the mix.

All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Fort
Worth!"

If someone actually has his or her turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect. Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators - and remember,it's legal to be armed in Texas.

All old ladies with blue hair in Mercedes have the right of way. Period.
And remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas.

Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW Highway, East Grand, Garland Road, Marsh Lane,Josey Lane, 15th Street, Preston Road all mysteriously change names as you cross intersections (these are only a FEW examples). The perfect example is what is MOSTLY known as Plano Road.On the south end it is known as Lake Highlands Drive, cross Northwest Highwayand it becomes Plano Road, go about 8 miles and it is briefly Greenville Ave,Ave K, and Highway 5. It ends in Sherman.

The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85. Anything less is
considered downright sissy. It also ends in Sherman.

If asking directions in Irving or SE Dallas, you must have knowledge of
Spanish. If in central Richardson or on Harry Hines, Mandarin Chinese
will be your best bet. If you stop to ask directions on Gaston or Live Oak, you better be armed... and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas.

The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff and Fair Park is not
ornamental!!

A trip across town east to west will take a minimum of four hours,
although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75.

It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of EAST
NORTHWEST Highway. Don't let this confuse you.

LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and"trap."

If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it's 10
degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Stock Show is going on. If It has rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Byron Nelson Golf Classic
is in the second round (if it's Spring) - and it is the Texas State Fair if
it's Fall.

If you go to the Fair, pay the $8.00 to park INSIDE Fair Park. Parking
elsewhere could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parking
tickets, etc. If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his yard, run over him.

Any amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, racetracks, airports, etc. are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.

Final Warning: Don't Mess With Texas Drivers ... remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas.

 

[Planogirl]

These are great! And you're correct, oh so true.

 

[ElizK]

Now, I live in Ft Worth, but a couple of these applied to me, like Friday rush hour starting on Thursday morning. Ain't that the truth! and going West in the North-bound lane of... We go North on 35-East all the time!

 

[Nicolepa]

All directions start with, "Get on Beltline". Which has no beginning and no end. (It REALLY DOESN'T!!!)

We lived in Tx when I was 6-8. I can still remember going in circles on the freeway. We'd be driving and then my dad would start yelling "We've already been here, we must have missed the exit." And we'd go around again!

 

[horseshowmom]

We lived in Tx when I was 6-8. I can still remember going in circles on the freeway. We'd be driving and then my dad would start yelling "We've already been here, we must have missed the exit." And we'd go around again!

Too funny!

We were in Ft. Worth a couple of years ago for the APHA World Show (Paint Horses). Another family accompanied us. They actually got rear ended just driving down the interstate between Dallas and Ft. Worth (must have been one of those unposted minimum 75 mph areas!).

 

[Grand2me]

THIS IS SO TRUE!!!! I live in Valley Ranch. We are here from New Orleans. I swear there is a gas station SOMEWHERE in Dallas that gives out driver's licenses . 114 after 4pm, POINTLESS! Somebody dies or is seriously injured on LBJ EVERY WEEK. Insurance here has to be sky high...

 

[Kirby]

I grew up in SE Dallas back when it was one of the most beautiful areas in the city, before smaller streets and small lots became common. You could also say the same there about the wrought iron on the windows and doors now.

Loop 12 is an older Beltline. It also loops around Dallas, changes names half a dozen times or more and has no beginning or end. Northwest Highway is actually the northern part of Loop 12.

All what you have is true. And remember: It's legal to be armed in Texas.

 

[m&m's mom]

As someone who drives from Flower Mound to downtown Dallas every day I can completely relate! I spend 2 hours a day in Dallas traffic so I could have written some of these myself.

 

[gradtchr]

LOL! Very true!!

 

[KathyTX]

Next, if your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a newone. If in Denton County and your Mapsco is one-day-old, then it is already obsolete...

Dallas has its own version of traffic rules..."Hold on and pray." There
is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drive like that...

The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3
to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

As someone who spends too much time on LBJ, the Tollway and Hwy 121, just gotta say amen to these.

Those armed blue haired Mercedes drivers scare me!

 

[ElizK]

As someone who spends too much time on LBJ, the Tollway and Hwy 121, just gotta say amen to these.

Those armed blue haired Mercedes drivers scare me!

I avoid that area like the plague. I don't care what time of the day or night I try to drive on LBJ it's just AWFUL!!! Wall to wall traffic. I'll stay on my side of town, thank you very much!

 

[DHSsenior007]

Amen... I don't drive that much in Dallas (I live in Sherman...), but those are so true...

 

[Servants of Evan]

I'm laughing... A few years back a company I was working with had their "Consumer Brands Division" convention in Dallas at the ... hotel which looks like a giant dandilion (right by the arena). I remember flying out of Cleveland Hopkins that January day with a temperature of 32 degrees. I also remember landing in Dallas with a temperature of 28! "Oh sure, come to Dallas, the weather will be better!" Yeah, right. I was happy to see my producer meet me at baggage claim and hand me the keys to a Chevy Blazer. When I walked out to the vehicle, I noticed it was snowing... Not major snow but enough that some was actually sticking to the ground... "Yeah, this is better than Cleveland .... you know we could have stayed home and saved boo-qoo bucks, right?" Anyway, I head out to the hotel and it's simply gridlock. I watch people attempting to drive up an overpass where their front wheels were doing 2 miles an hour, but their rear wheels were topping 100. God help them if they suddenly get traction -- the'd launch like they were shot from a cannon. Anyway, I finally found a break in traffic and cruised my way along. People are honking at me like I'm the moron. I swear, for the first time I wanted a huge sign that said, "I've seen this stuff before, I'm from Ohio and get the H#&& out of my way." I had a great time that week, and enjoyed Dallas and the surrounding areas immensely... Let it snow and you can stay hidden in your homes, I'm enjoying this!!!

 

[KathyTX]

Don't think you're safe in Sherman!!! We're creeping further and further north every day...

 

[robertsmom]

This is sooo true! One addition I'd make to the list is that in downtown Dallas, all the streets are one-way, and they all go in the opposite direction of where you need to be! I live and work right outside of Dallas, and anytime I have to go into downtown for ANYTHING, I cringe.

 

[Mad4Mickey]

As a person who lives outside of Dallas proper and has to drive 360, I - 20 and 183 I agree with EVERYTHING !

 

[mt2]

I agree with all of it.