dress up for son????

[dakotix]

Let him wear the dress! He's only 2 1/2. I have pictures of me in a dress when I was 5 and I turned out just fine and its funny not embarrassing...and no I don't wear women's clothing today. Very butch man's man here. grrrr!

 

[lucyem]

Let him wear the dress! He's only 2 1/2.

This.

I asked my 11 yr old DS what he would think about seeing a little boy in a dress at Disney. He was like he probably would not even notice and if he did so what. It's a 2 1/2 yr old.

I think some people get a little too hung up on the whole gender thing and make a lot of assumptions and projections on little children.

 

[ajwolfe]

Someone would dare make an unkind comment? If someone did so in front of me, they'd get a comment right back - and it would sting.

Why do we have to make judgments and unkind comments about a 2 year old? For goodness sake, let them be kids and have fun. Why can't we teach our kids to be happy and free and nonjudgmental? Some parents stink at being parents, I guess.

You honestly don't think another child will comment? Why do you think the anti-bullying issue is so huge right, because kids say what they think or say things to be mean. Heck, I can spend a couple hours volunteering at my kids school and hear all kinds of things, whether they are intended to be mean or not.

I don't think my boys (ages 6 and 10) would say something hurtful, but I'm fairly sure they would notice and maybe even ask why that little boy is wearing a dress.

 

[mjkacmom]

You honestly don't think another child will comment? Why do you think the anti-bullying issue is so huge right, because kids say what they think or say things to be mean. Heck, I can spend a couple hours volunteering at my kids school and hear all kinds of things, whether they are intended to be mean or not.

I don't think my boys (ages 6 and 10) would say something hurtful, but I'm fairly sure they would notice and maybe even ask why that little boy is wearing a dress.

I agree - young kids say hurtful things ("why are you so fat?" "Why are you so wrinkly?"), without intending to be mean - just curious.

If DH came walking down the stairs, wearing my dress, my kids would not say "oh, isn't great that dad is exploring his inner diva!" They would laugh! It would be funny because men don't wear dresses. Since the beginning of time, men and women have dressed differently. Some clothing IS gender neutral - princess dresses are not.

Again, I have no issue with little boys playing dress-up, but you can't expect no one not to notice, especially children.

 

[Schmeck]

I agree - young kids say hurtful things ("why are you so fat?" "Why are you so wrinkly?"), without intending to be mean - just curious.

If DH came walking down the stairs, wearing my dress, my kids would not say "oh, isn't great that dad is exploring his inner diva!" They would laugh! It would be funny because men don't wear dresses. Since the beginning of time, men and women have dressed differently. Some clothing IS gender neutral - princess dresses are not.

Again, I have no issue with little boys playing dress-up, but you can't expect no one not to notice, especially children.

And here I thought Jesus wore a robe (dress), and what about kilts? Arabic clothing of long tunics? And why do we have to be gender specific? Why do some people think we all have to conform to some stereotype, especially at the age of 2?

If a child states something unkind, it's most likely learned behavior from the parents. Either the child has heard a parent speak that way, or the parent doesn't correct the behavior. Either way, it's the parent's belief system that shows it's ugly head in the child. It's fine to notice, it's not cool to make a mean comment.

 

[mjkacmom]

And here I thought Jesus wore a robe (dress), and what about kilts? Arabic clothing of long tunics? And why do we have to be gender specific? Why do some people think we all have to conform to some stereotype, especially at the age of 2?

If a child states something unkind, it's most likely learned behavior from the parents. Either the child has heard a parent speak that way, or the parent doesn't correct the behavior. Either way, it's the parent's belief system that shows it's ugly head in the child. It's fine to notice, it's not cool to make a mean comment.

Do you have children? Children will comment on things that are different. When my dd11 asked her grandmother (when dd was little) why the skin under her arm jiggled, she wasn't trying to be unkind. When ds11 was little, and asked me why his preschool teacher had a mustache, he wasn't being snarky towards her. You can blame parents all you want, but kids have no filter - it's something learned, like using the toilet, using a pencil. And sometimes it can be insulting!

As for dress, most kids don't see many in kilts or robes (and ds11 plays the bagpipes). It's only been somewhat recent that women are accepted in trousers. I don't think men will be wearing dresses and skirts on a regular basis anytime soon!

As for Jesus, if my kids were to draw a picture, he's be naked on a cross, same as in Church every Sunday. And if my kids saw a boy wearing a robe at WDW, they would be confused.

 

[JillyBean1899]

I agree - young kids say hurtful things ("why are you so fat?" "Why are you so wrinkly?"), without intending to be mean - just curious.

If DH came walking down the stairs, wearing my dress, my kids would not say "oh, isn't great that dad is exploring his inner diva!" They would laugh! It would be funny because men don't wear dresses. Since the beginning of time, men and women have dressed differently. Some clothing IS gender neutral - princess dresses are not.

Again, I have no issue with little boys playing dress-up, but you can't expect no one not to notice, especially children.

So what about togas that the Romans wore? They were essentially dresses. And what about kilts? Those are skirts. This whole "gender appropriate clothing" thing is relatively new and even changes from time to time. How long ago was it that it wasn't considered "proper" for women to wear pants?

 

[Dizzy4DL]

I won't comment on the clothing issue, but I have quite a bit of experience with unfiltered children.

My dd has a friend (11) with almost no filter at all. And she comes from a family of people who really care what others think of them.

In other words, they have tried and tried, but she simply has no filter. We're used to it, but it can hurt at times when it focuses on you.

Would she comment on a younger boy in a dress? Absolutely. Would her parents be mortified that she has done it and tell her it was hurtful? Yes, and she would be sorry, but the damage would be done.

 

[MatoMany]

My son wanted to dress up like his sisters were getting to.. I got him Jake and Planes costumes. He was jazzed to be able to dress like his favorite pirate and plane.

Is he wanting to dress up or does he want to wear a dress? If he wants to wear a dress let him, so what if the in laws are unhappy. If they are anything like my in laws Im sure they will find something to complain about no matter what you do.

 

[Schmeck]

Do you have children? Children will comment on things that are different. When my dd11 asked her grandmother (when dd was little) why the skin under her arm jiggled, she wasn't trying to be unkind. When ds11 was little, and asked me why his preschool teacher had a mustache, he wasn't being snarky towards her. You can blame parents all you want, but kids have no filter - it's something learned, like using the toilet, using a pencil. And sometimes it can be insulting!

As for dress, most kids don't see many in kilts or robes (and ds11 plays the bagpipes). It's only been somewhat recent that women are accepted in trousers. I don't think men will be wearing dresses and skirts on a regular basis anytime soon!

As for Jesus, if my kids were to draw a picture, he's be naked on a cross, same as in Church every Sunday. And if my kids saw a boy wearing a robe at WDW, they would be confused.

And they learn to have that filter from their parents. Yes, I have two children, grown, knowledgeable, respectful, and filtered.

 

[mjkacmom]

And they learn to have that filter from their parents. Yes, I have two children, grown, knowledgeable, respectful, and filtered.

Yes they do. And until it is learned completely, kids are going to comment. I'm sure the dozen or so little kids who comment on a boy wearing a princess dress will be talked to by their parents, after the fact.

 

[rachael95]

If you're looking for a really easy costume, I made a Jake vest using the pattern from this site. I used felt and sewed it by hand (when the glue didn't work). It took less than 1/2 hour and I'm definitely not a handy person. I glued gold braid and sewed on a couple gold buttons to jazz it up and make it look more like Jake's.

Add in a white t-shirt and jeans and you have the costume. Go crazy if you want the red bandanna on his head.

http://www.danamadeit.com/2008/07/tutorial-and-pattern-frontier-vest.html

My son (almost 2 years) loved it and got a lot of compliments. The nice thing is, even if you cut the felt a bit jagged, that just adds to the look.

 

[Schmeck]

Yes they do. And until it is learned completely, kids are going to comment. I'm sure the dozen or so little kids who comment on a boy wearing a princess dress will be talked to by their parents, after the fact.

But it shouldn't take a long time to learn - so older kids shouldn't be making comments at all, and little kids shouldn't even be aware (unless it's a parent's choice to push gender stereotypes and make unkind comments) to make the comments. I just don't get why kids would be making the comments unless it was something the parents brought up/encouraged as an issue.

Our kids learn from us first - we are their first teachers, the most important teachers they will ever have. They mimic what we do, and what we say. A child will not know that a person is fat unless a parent points out what a fat person looks like. And the way the parent presents that information is so crucial to how that child perceives the world. You can raise a kind kid or a cruel one.

A simple 'all people are different and like to do different things' can get rid of a lot of judgmental behavior.

 

[mjkacmom]

But it shouldn't take a long time to learn - so older kids shouldn't be making comments at all, and little kids shouldn't even be aware (unless it's a parent's choice to push gender stereotypes and make unkind comments) to make the comments. I just don't get why kids would be making the comments unless it was something the parents brought up/encouraged as an issue.

Our kids learn from us first - we are their first teachers, the most important teachers they will ever have. They mimic what we do, and what we say. A child will not know that a person is fat unless a parent points out what a fat person looks like. And the way the parent presents that information is so crucial to how that child perceives the world. You can raise a kind kid or a cruel one.

A simple 'all people are different and like to do different things' can get rid of a lot of judgmental behavior.

I'm guessing you don't spend a lot of time around young children. Personally, I'm not sending innocent children out to be mocked, but if you are so sure that kids will always be kind, more power to you. You, of course, will be wrong, and not because parents are teaching their kids to be cruel.

And yes, a child will ask "why is your belly so big," even if his parents haven't pointed out fat people! Do kids see boys dressed as princesses often? At school? On TV? On the streets? In the stores? At school? Of course not, so I don't think it's strange that they would question it. Because they're kids - that's what they do.

 

[MandiC]

But it shouldn't take a long time to learn - so older kids shouldn't be making comments at all, and little kids shouldn't even be aware (unless it's a parent's choice to push gender stereotypes and make unkind comments) to make the comments. I just don't get why kids would be making the comments unless it was something the parents brought up/encouraged as an issue.

Our kids learn from us first - we are their first teachers, the most important teachers they will ever have. They mimic what we do, and what we say. A child will not know that a person is fat unless a parent points out what a fat person looks like. And the way the parent presents that information is so crucial to how that child perceives the world. You can raise a kind kid or a cruel one.

A simple 'all people are different and like to do different things' can get rid of a lot of judgmental behavior.

Not true, I will always remember when my oldest daughter was a toddler and she loudly asked in the store "mommy why does that man have a pony tail like a girl?"...odd because we know plenty of men who have long hair and I don't care. In fact, my husband had long hair years ago (before the kids were born). My younger daughter has asked a lady if she was pregnant. My older son has asked why his friend's skin is so much darker than his. None of these are things I've talked about. Kids notice differences and they comment on them, usually without realizing they might be offending someone

 

[JillyBean1899]

Not true, I will always remember when my oldest daughter was a toddler and she loudly asked in the store "mommy why does that man have a pony tail like a girl?"...odd because we know plenty of men who have long hair and I don't care. In fact, my husband had long hair years ago (before the kids were born). My younger daughter has asked a lady if she was pregnant. My older son has asked why his friend's skin is so much darker than his. None of these are things I've talked about. Kids notice differences and they comment on them, usually without realizing they might be offending someone

Notice how those comments were always "why" type comments? Not "eww, your skin is black, I don't want to talk to you" type comments. Yes, little kids will comment on observations. But they very rarely (unless indoctrinated already) do they make comments that are inherently or purposely mean. I've had small children make loud comments to their moms (or me) in the vein of "that lady has pink hair!!" because I have a few pink streaks in my hair. My response is "yep, I like the color pink", and then they are either satisfied or they want to touch it (I guess to make sure it's real?), which I'm happy to let them do. They get to see that it's still hair, it's just a different color. Same thing with my friends that have multiple visible tattoos, kids will say "mommy, that man colored on himself like I did yesterday!" It's a simple observation.

Maybe I'm just around better behaved toddlers/small children than some of you are, but that's been my experience.

 

[Dani C]

I'm just curious, would the parent of the little boy dressed as a princess be offended if someone commented "what a pretty little girl"? I ask because there are times that people can't tell gender from simply looking at someone and they take cues from the way the person is dressed and/or how they are wearing their hair. Not everyone has features that make it obvious, some features are misleading, and especially with little ones it can be difficult. (Posted by someone who, as a little girl, hated dresses, had short hair, and preferred playing with her brothers.)

 

[JillyBean1899]

I'm just curious, would the parent of the little boy dressed as a princess be offended if someone commented "what a pretty little girl"? I ask because there are times that people can't tell gender from simply looking at someone and they take cues from the way the person is dressed and/or how they are wearing their hair. Not everyone has features that make it obvious, some features are misleading, and especially with little ones it can be difficult. (Posted by someone who, as a little girl, hated dresses, had short hair, and preferred playing with her brothers.)

I was bald until I was almost 2, mom used to scotch tape bows to my head (she hated those headbands with a passion), dress me head to toe in pink, and invariably someone would say what a handsome little man I was.

 

[rachael95]

I'm just curious, would the parent of the little boy dressed as a princess be offended if someone commented "what a pretty little girl"? I ask because there are times that people can't tell gender from simply looking at someone and they take cues from the way the person is dressed and/or how they are wearing their hair. Not everyone has features that make it obvious, some features are misleading, and especially with little ones it can be difficult. (Posted by someone who, as a little girl, hated dresses, had short hair, and preferred playing with her brothers.)

Even though I always dress my DS in "boy" clothes and even though the longest we ever let his hair get was before his first hair cut and it was only shoulder length when you straightened out the curls, I had several people comment on what a pretty girl he was when he was still crawling if all he had on was a onsey or a gender-neutral outfit. Now that he's nearly 2, it's more obvious he's a boy, but that's because the clothes he wears are very boyish. If he were in a dress, you could not tell. I was not offended when he was younger. I think I would be a little bothered for my son's own sake now because he's beginning to understand the difference between boys and girls and knows he's a boy.

As for kids being cruel and learning it from their parents - there are a lot of ignorant parents out there who DO teach their kids to say cruel things. Some of those parents don't even realize they're being cruel when they do it and some of them don't view someone who is "different" from them as being as much of a human as they are. Whether the person is ignorant or hate-filled, the results are often the same--A hurt child who doesn't understand the cruelty of the people around them.

And children as young as 2 CAN understand the difference between boys and girls. My DS has been wanting to make sure he knows who is a boy and who is a girl since he was 20 months. It's not something I've pushed or his teachers pushed. I didn't even realize he was doing it until his daycare teacher brought it to my attention that they noticed it and I began to realize he asked me a lot whether someone was a boy or a girl.

 

[Schmeck]

I'm guessing you don't spend a lot of time around young children. Personally, I'm not sending innocent children out to be mocked, but if you are so sure that kids will always be kind, more power to you. You, of course, will be wrong, and not because parents are teaching their kids to be cruel.

And yes, a child will ask "why is your belly so big," even if his parents haven't pointed out fat people! Do kids see boys dressed as princesses often? At school? On TV? On the streets? In the stores? At school? Of course not, so I don't think it's strange that they would question it. Because they're kids - that's what they do.

Yes, working in preschool and kindergarten has really opened my eyes to what kids learn from their parents before they ever get into a school/around other kids scenario. Maybe they are getting it from grandparents and daycare? One correction comment should reassure the kid that people are different, then some quality time spent discussing all the different ways people can be, and some guidelines set for public behavior. Done!