Draft your favorite obnoxiously over-the-top room request (winner will be selected)

[bugsy]

Dear Room Controller,

You may want to make a note of the fact that all 5 of us will be having our birthdays while we are there (the first 5 days), and that my husband and I will be celebrating our anniversary on the last day at the park. We understand that you traditionally supply balloons and treats on birthdays and a bottle of champagne for anniversaries. We prefer Mumms, 1972.

Have a Disney Day!

Mrs Nada Klew

I LOVED your whole post, but this part put me over the edge !!!

 

[AllTheWorldsAStage]

Dear Room Controller,

As the assistant to the assistant recording secretary of the International 8-Track Tape Player Repairperson's (hey, we're not sexist...we've got a few broads in the group) Association -- the "I8TTPRA" -- I have been put in charge of making the reservation for our annual convention this August.

We would like to stay at the Caribbean Beach Resort, and we have a few requests. We all hate kids, and we were wondering if we could have Building 39 in Trinidad South all to ourselves. In fact, could you just bar anyone under 18 from all buildings and common areas of Trinidad South, that would be groovy. Nothing I hate worse than having a bunch of kids ruining my Disney vacation, but I digress.

Anyway, if you can swing it, we all want a first floor rooms with a balcony instead of a patio. That is kind of a I8TTPRA annual convention tradition. You wouldn't want to be the first hotel not to grant us a first floor balcony, would you? A balcony greatly improves the ground floor view.

We sure would like a retractable roof over the quiet pool to keep us from getting rained on at 4:00 every afternoon. I don't want to have to leave the pool area for a half hour just because of a thunderstorm. And while I'm thinking of it, can you please ask the local weather forecasters to not allow any hurricanes during our visit? Thanks a bunch!

Also, we have a member of the I8TTPRA who is coming in from the Nunavut Territory in Canada and he only speaks Inuktitut. If we could have a Mousekeeper who speaks fluent in Inuktitut, it would be really helpful.

We also would like to request non-smoking rooms. None of us smoke. How disgusting! By the way do the non-smoking rooms have a spittoon between the beds? We have a lot of members who are avid smokeless tobacco users.

Lastly, we were wonding if you could arrange for Transportation to have a bus just for our group. We want the bus to say I8TTPRA on the outside so no one else can use it. And if it isn't too much of a bother, could you put a bar on that bus? And could you hire Ted Lange (Issac the bartender from 'Love Boat') to be our personal bartender on the bus? Oh yeah, and a jar of peanut M&Ms that had the peanuts cut out of them?

Thanks in advance. I will only send you 3 faxes per day and call you 5 times a day for the next 5 months to make sure our requests are notated in your reservation system.

Arthur Fonzarelli

 

[LuvN~Travel]

Dear Room Controller,
Hi there, my name is Mike. I’ve been coming to WDW for several years now, and I would like my standard accommodations this time. However, this may be my last year coming to WDW and I just don’t believe my bonus this year was as near as big as it could have been.
First of all I would like my usual presidential suite at the Beach Club. However, I do want the flowers to be fresh everyday, and the turn down service to include the premium chocolates this time (I prefer Godiva). Also, I’ll be bringing most of my relatives since this may be my last year here. They don’t all get along, though, so could you assign them rooms in different wings? Since this may be my last year here, could you also make sure that the pool is relatively free of other guests other than myself and relatives? We don’t like to be hounded by common people. I have enough stress in my life!
Also, I would like to have all of the televisions in our suite to have any stations removed that may carry Warner Brother cartoons or Marvel Comics cartoons. I only want to see Disney related shows and cartoons on our stations. I am still in two minds about anything related to Pixar, however, so I’ll let you know the day before we arrive if I want that removed, too. And of course it goes without saying that we want the premium soaps and lotions this time.
But, most importantly, and this may reflect in your salary at year’s end, I DON’T WANT to see Roy Disney, Jr. while I am there. Keep him out!
Hoping to see you real soon,
Mr. Eisner

 

[goodferry]

To Whom it May Concern,
Hello! We are so excited about our upcoming trip to the Polynesian Resort. My husband and I will be travelling alone staying in the concierge building and I have just a few simple requests that I am sure that you will be able to meet.
1. I am highly allergic to smoke, not only do I want a non-smoking room, but please make sure that no one that smokes has EVER stayed in the room and that the people on either side of me do not smoke on their patios or the results could be disasterous. It may be easier to just leave the rooms on either side of us empty, just to be sure.
2. We have booked a Lagoon view room, but what we really need is a Castle view room. I just can't sleep at night if I can't watch that castle change colors as I fall asleep. I would also appreciate it if we were on the first floor as my husband is afraid of heights.
3. Could you please make sure that you keep the number of children staying at the resort to a minimum while we are there? There is nothing more annoying than children running around at all hours laughing, splashing and having fun. It is bad enough to have to deal with that in the parks, but I need some "adult time" back at my resort. At least could you issue an 7 pm curfew for all children under the age of 18 and remind them upon check-in to use their indoor voices, it would make our stay so much more magical!
4. Could you please make sure that the concierge food offerings are well stocked while we are there. My husband is a very big eater and wouldn't it be embarrassing for you if you ran out of food? Also, could you please make sure that you have plenty of plastic bottles of water available. It's bad enough that we pay the prices that we do for concierge, I expect to get my moneys worth out of the food and drink offerings.
5. In the evenings I find it difficult to relax without a glass of Kendall Jackson
Riesling, so could you please make sure that you have plenty on hand. I realize that you don't usually have this available, so hopefully I am giving you enough advance notice.
6. We normally sleep on goose down pillows, could you make these available for us, or will I have to trudge my own from home. Also, concerning the comforters, could you please make sure the ones on our beds are brand new, can't stand to think of sleeping on the same comforter someone else did.
7. I realize that you probably get requests all the time for free room upgrades, and we don't expect to get anything we didn't pay for. That said, if you were to decide we would be more comfortable in the Princess Suite, that would be fine. Be aware, however, that I will expect you to increase the scope of the food offerings in the Tonga Lounge if you decide to do this
8. Finally, I realize that we are travelling during peak season and that the firework at the Magic Kingdom will be starting rather late. I must get adequate rest, so could you see if it is possible to move the show a little earlier, perhaps closer to 8:30 pm so the noise doesn't wake us.

 

[magicmouse2]

FAO Room Controller,

We have reserved the All Star Movies this upcoming trip, however since we are DVC members we would appreciate a free uprade to a suite at the Grand Floridian, as I have read one or two negative reviews of the resort on the disboards. As you are aware we have previously stayed at the Grand Floridian so you can rest assured we are 'upperclass guests'. I would appreciate that you book the monorail for me at 7:00am tomorrow as I PS at Cindys. I also request that the food at Cindy's be cooked at my table so I can approve the various ingredients. Also have the maids, clean my jacuzzi with a bleach free cleaner as I tend to get itchy, then fill it with goat milk. I do prefer 1,000,0000 count egyptian cotton sheets though I will take silk ones at a push. I will have showered and be on my balcony at 8:30 pm so have wishes ready to begin at 8:35pm. I also request vintage champagne cocktails , caviar and the Cinderella slipper dessert to be served up during our viewing of Wishes. Do remember to have the pool cleared of other guests by 7pm as I will be taking a swim around this time. Pool heat of 25 degrees will suffice, though I will call you should the air temp become chilly. Of course you realise that my bedspread must be new and mattress must be 50* better than the Heavenly beds at the Swan, since I am a VIP, did I mention I am an AP holder ?
Of course if you really expect me to eat any of the mush served at Victoria and Alberts I expect it to be complimentary, so as I can recommend it to my friends and co workers and disboard friends , otherwise I WILL GIVE IT A NASTY REVIEW! ps have the bathrobes and towels giftwrapped and posted to me at home. Also i would require a free day at the GF spa for my relatives who will be visiting MK later this year whilst staying offsite in their Van.

Ok I will contact you later with the rest of my requests

 

[MickeyGirl555]

Dear All Stars room controller,

First of all I would like to say just how happy I am to be staying at Disney World. However, I do have some request. Well this year we just could not stop spending money so instead of staying at our usual high class resort we are now forced to stay at the All Star Sports. You do not know how much this has crushed me, my husband and are three girls age 9, 7 and 4. Opps I mean two years old, are youngest is two not four. So what I am asking is for you to purposely over book the hotel so we can be upgraded to a hotel that is more our style. What we are thinking is to be upgraded to the Yatch Club. I once saw a TV Guide show on it and at one point they showed the presidential suite. You do not know how perfect that would be for me and my family, it just make our whole trip wonderful. Now I am assuming that with the presidential suite we will get access to the concierge lounge, with this I have a few concerns. I have recently heard that there has been some horrific behavior at the lounge. So while my family and I are there we would prefer that no other guest be at the concierge lounge while we using it. Also about the water we would like it to be as cold as it can possibly be and have that water only giving to us. About the room, my 9 year old daughter and I are very picky when it comes to our pillows. We would like to have a selection of pillows upon arrival so that we can find the perfect one for our vacation. Another request is for my seven year old daughter, well you see she is deathly afraid of those turbo toilets. So to make the trip just wonderful for her we are hoping that the turbo toilets could be replaced with ones that are less scary. Let’s not forget that we would not like any sign of smoke being near our room. If this does happen we will just need an even better upgrade. Since we are spending so much money we are also wondering if the parks could be open later just for our children. During the day it hot, the sun beams down on you and the lines are just horrendous. I know that this request might sound a little on the extreme side but just remember Disney is for the children.

 

[bytheblood]

(This is all tongue in cheek.... meant for fun, so hope no one takes offense!)

Hey Room Lady,
Me and the Missus and the youngins'll be 'riving on Fridy 'fore Easter (ya'll see, they has a school break then). We has a room reserved fer us at the Poly .... hey... wadya expect--heh heh--- the All Stars? We's been savin' all our money from our moonshine sales and wanna do it high on the hog!

Just wanted to let ya'll know our needs whiles we're there.

1st, we needs to be right by the main pool (yeah, the one with the volcano), on the 1st floor so's we can go over yonder to the pool anytime we get a hankerin'... think ya'll can open the pool bar fer us, too? The Missus really wants one of them red fruity drinks. I'll just take me a beer. Do ya'll have discounts if if buy 'em by the case?


Do ya'll think that while we're ther ya'll could humor us and put that toilet paper back on the castle? It looked so good ther ! I really wanna take our pitchure to put on the Christmas cards this year in front of it. It'll ruin our vacasion if we don't get that pitchure. I'm sure ya'll understan!

Also, the little gremlins'll be specting Stitch ta tuck 'em in ever'night. Oh, and if Lilo could come, too... that would make me happier than a pig in a poke ! Gotta have equal time fer the men folk, ya know!

Reserve 2 hammocks on the beach fer me and the little woman, so's we can sleep while the kids take over the pool 'n beach. They're just gonna LOVE that volcano slide. Jr was talkin' 'bout how he's gonna go down it back'ards and head 1st, so ya'll better get yerself some more lifeguards, just in case! I'd hate to hafta sue ya!

We'd also like to reserve one a them PSs at The O'hana. I know this's last minute and a busy time, but with what we are spendin', I know ya'll can make it happen. Pixie Dust...right--heh heh!?

We only need one room, but a couple extry cots would be good... that way cousin Sue and cousin Millie won't hafta sleep in the camper in the car lot with the dawgs.

How 'bout fishin in that ther lake... is it good eatin'? Also, we was thinkin' of bringin' our shotguns. Heard there was purty nice critters over ther at that Animal Kingdom. Do they sell the animal heads? I'd luv ta take home the head of a zebra ta go over the fireplace. Put it rite next ta the deer antlers..heh heh!

And, just for one night, can't Stitch fly from the castle 'steada Tinkerbell. I'm shure that little fairy must need a day off ever' once in a while!

I know this is last minute, but I was figurin' you'd have nothin' better ta do, so I mite as well keep ya hoppin'... that's what Disney pays ya the big bucks for, ain't it? Sure do 'preciate the hospitality.

Billy Bob

This is the best one.

 

[Eyore4Ever149]

Dear Room Assignor,

I am checking into the Contemporary for the first time, since your prices are too high for the tower (even with the AP codes you released) we are staying in one of your Wing Rooms.
I would like to add a few requests to that reservation- you can find it booked through DreamsUnlimited, but I like to handle detailed things myself. The ressie is Conf #123456
I would like a North Wing room, with a view of the castle and I would like a side room, so I can see Bay Lake when I desire. I would also like to be close to the tower, monorail/food court and busses- oh and the walkway to Magic Kingdom.
My husband and I will be celebrating our anniversary while we are there- can you do anything extra that will not incur an extra charge? Maybe a comped meal at you lovely California Grille.
We are a little worried about transportation- is it possible to reserve a monorail for us?

I dont know if this is possible, but it would be so cool if Chef Mickey could come down and greet us when we check in- I can get back to you on what we'll be wearing so he will recognize us.

Also, the towel animals are my favorite, could I get a new and different animal on each day of my trip? And could we check in early at no fee and check out at 3- also at no fee?

I hope Im not asking too much, thanks for all you do.

 

[tinknsnow]

Dear Room Controller,

I am so incredibly happy to be going to Walt Disney World next week. I know you always do your best to accomodate people and I was hoping you could accomodate this:

I will be sneaking my cat, Fru-Fru into the Grand Floridian. Could you please have a bed set up in the room especially for her. She does not like the color purple, her favorite is pink. Almost anything glittery will do. Could you also have Mickey Mouse greet us in the room when we arrive -- I know this would give my kitty a great surprise seeing that big ol' mouse sitting on the bed!

Also, my darling Fru-Fru absolutely loves Cinderella. Would it be possible for us to have an after hours dinner at Cinderella's on Wednesday, complete with Cinderella *and* Prince Charming. I would ask for Tuesday, but that's the day we plan on trying to get Fru-Fru a hair appointment at the salon.

This one had me ROFL!!!! Hilarious!

What a fantastic thread.

 

[Hendoendo]

Peter Pirate you should have asked for other Server's at V&A because you don't like those names

 

[kimmar067]

Dear Room Controller:

This fax is been sent to your during the customary 3 nites before arrival, to insure a smooth check-in:
As per our conversation, I am confirming my request for a water-view concierge suite at Cindy's Castle. Of course you have already been advised that I am expecting a BDP code, AAA, Florida resident, military discount, not to mention my DM-I-L's AARP discount [in case she decides to join us on our vacation] off the already reduced email price you sent me. I look forward to having your entire staff at my disposal to grant my family's every wish (after all, it IS Disney!)

I am also requesting (due to medical reasons) a FULLY STOCKED refrigerator to alleviate my RARE 3AM Sleat (sleep/eat) Apnia Disorder (a letter from my doctor, Dr. Vinny Boombahtz, is available upon request). As a result, the resort must be kept IN COMPLETE SILENCE until 10 or 11AM daily.

Oh yes, one last thing....I MUST have an endless supply of green M & M's in our suite at ALL TIMES!

Looking forward to our stay,
The Obnokshus family

 

[DisneyWisher]

These are too funny. Surprised I didn't see one that said

Oh, by the way since DW doesn't care for the theming of your resort could you by chance renovate? Your colors are too bright for her senses.

 

[Melrosgirl]

Dear Room Controller,

I am so excited about our upcoming stay at your resort. I would like to request a few things to make my trip perfect:

1. Can you please make sure that I stay on a floor with no children ? I hate when the kids run around the hallways at 9 p.m.on their Mickey chocolate bar sugar rush. Do these kids not have parents with them at WDW?

2. I want my room ready for me no matter what time I arrive. I'm more important than other guests because I paid rack room rates (too difficult to wait for those codes to come out).

3. When the bus arrives, I would like to be the first one on the bus no matter what time I arrived at the bus stop. I don't care that other people were waiting for 20 minutes before me. I'm on vacation.

4. Please let all other guests know that when I do get on the bus, I expect them to let me sit wherever I want. I will not be sharing my seat with anyone and don't look at me to offer my seat to any old ladies or pregnant women. I'm on vacation after all.

5. I do not smoke and would not like anyone smoking within 500 feet of me. Please send a memo to all guests letting them know this request.

6. Please also let other guests know that I will be reserving a chair by the pool for my entire stay. Other guests will know it's mine because my white towel will be on the chair the entire week of my stay. It doesn't matter that I'm at the Magic Kingdom during the day. It's still my chair and no one else can use it.

7. Since I'm staying at a deluxe resort, I expect better bus service. Why should I have to share a bus with other resorts ? The value resorts seem to have quicker bus service and I'm paying 10x what they are paying. I don't like to wait. I'm on vacation. It's all about me!

thank you. Can't wait to start my magical vacation.

 

[eeyore0062]

Bump... lets lighten up things a bit, shall we???

 

[kimmar067]

....who's the WINNER????

 

[BamaTigger]

Here is mine!! Oh this is gonna be fun!!

Dear Room Controller,

Me and my husband will be arriving April 16-21 at the glorious WL-our favorite resort. And we do have a few requests for our stay. They are not major and I know the CM's at the WL are just wonderful and you will accomodate our every request. You truly do make the magic in our stay. And we would like to say Thank you.

Now, on with the business. First of all, since we have stayed at WL so many times and have spent MAJOR CASH with you, we expect our every demand. First of all, We booked a courtyard view room. I would like to be upgraded to concierce at no cost, with, of course, a courtyard view. And if there are any trees in the way, please have them cut down, I dont want my view blocked at all. I want a King Size bed, and if you dont have room for one, please renovate the room, you have 5 days and Im giving you plenty of notice. You can take out the table if you have to, but leave the dresser. Also, please arrange to have DSL high speed internet service, so I can check my DIS boards while Im on a park break. Dont have alot of time, so that would be helpful. Also, I dont like the carpet in the rooms, so could I request that you put some more in? I like to feel the fluff under my feet. Also, I would like brand new sheets, still in the manufacturing bags, on my bed FOR ME TO PUT ON. I would like to febreeze, lysol, and fumigate my own room and mattress for Im allergic to PEANUTS, DANDER, SMOKE, OREOS, TOILET PAPER, PLASTIC, PARSLEY, SALT, PEPPER, OTHER PEOPLES LEFT OVER SHOE SMELL, AND JUST BASICALLY ALL THE AIR IN GENERAL. I would like brand new pillows, goose-down of course, and nightly turn down service, but ONLY TURN THE COVERS DOWN 6 1'2 INCHES from the headboard, for anything else is unexceptable. I would also like for the Mousekeepers to make stuffed animals everyday and leave them on my bed. I would like TIGGER, A RABBIT AND A MOUSE made. I dont have children, but I would enjoy them. So make sure that is done.

About transportation, we have to do something with that. I would like one bus and one boat to myself. I am on vacation, and as much money as we have spent with you since 1995 I feel like I shouldnt have to wait in line to get on transportation. And my husband is on vacation and shouldnt have to give up HIS seat to a pregnant lady or older person.

Also, since we are 2 adults with no children, I request that while we are there, you do not check in any families with children. I shouldnt have to hear any whining, crying, or screaming while Im on vacation. I can hear all that at my workplace, so I shouldnt have to hear it on my hard-earned vacation. Also, I want one day in each park with no kids. Adult only day. The kids can go to DisneyQuest or a water park. But as much as I pay for a park ticket, and YOU KEEP RAISING THE PRICES, well, I deserve to be in the parks with no kids for at least ONE DAY.

And since we dont have children, and we dont need any PS dinners, I feel it is necessary to request that you at the WL, make sure we get a private dinner at Artist Point. I would not want anyone else in the restaurant, and I would like to have just a plain filet mignon, and shrimp scamp(from Red Lobster). So please make sure that is taken care of.

Once again, thank you for all you do and I hope that you will take my requests and fulfill them all. Because if you dont, I will call and write letters to your boss, and his boss, and his boss's boss, and I will pitch me such a fit to everyone at Disney until I get a week's free stay in concierge, free ULTIMATE park hoppers and a choice of 5 free souviniers a day, and 3 free meals a day. Because I spend the most money there, and no one else matters but ME AND MY VACATION.

Have a DISNEY DAY!

Mrs. Imtheonlyone

 

[goofy!]

oops, deleted

 

[goofy!]

oops - deleted

 

[ValerieK]

Dear Mr. Room Controller,

My family and I are arriving at WDW on April 26, 2002. We would like to be assigned a standard view room at the Animal Kingdom Lodge, which is exactly what we booked through CRO. I know this is a lot to ask, but if there is any way you could fulfill this outrageous request my family and I would greatly appreciate it. We would also like to be charged the same rate we were quoted over the phone when we made our reservation.

Sincerely,
Mrs. S. C. Rewd

I don't think they would fill that request.

 

[pezpam]

OMG this is hilarious. Hats off to everyone!

The hula hoops are still killing me.