Double standard in school?

[always quiet]

I'm not going to re-hash the entire story (believe me, I've ranted about it here many times ) but my oldest DD (in middle school) had a problem with a fellow student...another girl. It went on for more than 1 yr. and to my surprise, they were in ALL the same classes last year. I contacted the school very early on to try and get my daughter moved to other classes. I was told each time I suggested seperating these two that absoluely not...once school starts, there is no way to change the schedule. OK...it was a bad year but it's over. Now this year, my youngest DD (who now goes to the middle school) started have problems with a fellow student who is in all her classes. This time, however, it is with a boy. She doesn't return his feelings....and to say he is NOT happy about it doesn't even do this justice (wants my daughter to "burn"). Anyway, my daughter went immediately down to the guidance office and even without first consulting me, her schedule got changed. Now, if they could change her schedule the same day, why would they never change it for my other daughter, who had repeated problems with this girl (and guidance was involved many many MANY times!) Is this just a 'double standard' or does this boy have some serious issues that I'm not aware of?? Yesterday, at the end of the day, they passed in the hallway. He made a gun with his fingers, pointed it at her and whispered "BANG!" as she walked past him!!

 

[Maleficent13]

Double standard, yep. Why? IMO, because your older DD had trouble with a girl, and your younger DD had trouble with a boy. Schools don't want even a whiff of sexual harrassment issues escalating.

Re: the boy's behavior...I think I'd have to tell someone if he was mock shooting my dd and telling her she needed to burn. WHAT is with kids today????

 

[always quiet]

My daughter did tell the guidance about his "burn" comment....that's what led her down there. He "freaks" her out. The mock shooting happened yesterday. Another student did see it and they did not hesitate to report this boy. Scary isn't it? If the boy is this way in 6th grade, I shudder to think of him breaking off a real relationship.

 

[Kermit]

That boy needs to be moved to another school. That's a threat, and it needs to be taken seriously. I'm glad they moved your DD when she first started having problems, but they need to continue to take initiative. If they don't get the police involved, you should.

I do think it's sad that they didn't show your older DD the same consideration. While it's not quite as likely that a girl/girl situation would escalate to the same level as a boy/girl issue, it's still hard on her.

 

[nativetxn]

I'm sorry that your daughters have had difficulties like this in school. It must be very frustrating for you.

Katholyn

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Not so sure a double standard as two entirely different situations.

Be very glad they are taking your younger daughter's case very seriously.

Not sure what kind of problem your older daughter had with a girl..but I'm sure if it smelled of a safety issue versus a just don't like each other issue..that it would have been handled differently.

 

[MICKEY88]

I'm not going to re-hash the entire story (believe me, I've ranted about it here many times ) but my oldest DD (in middle school) had a problem with a fellow student...another girl. It went on for more than 1 yr. and to my surprise, they were in ALL the same classes last year. I contacted the school very early on to try and get my daughter moved to other classes. I was told each time I suggested seperating these two that absoluely not...once school starts, there is no way to change the schedule. OK...it was a bad year but it's over. Now this year, my youngest DD (who now goes to the middle school) started have problems with a fellow student who is in all her classes. This time, however, it is with a boy. She doesn't return his feelings....and to say he is NOT happy about it doesn't even do this justice (wants my daughter to "burn"). Anyway, my daughter went immediately down to the guidance office and even without first consulting me, her schedule got changed. Now, if they could change her schedule the same day, why would they never change it for my other daughter, who had repeated problems with this girl (and guidance was involved many many MANY times!) Is this just a 'double standard' or does this boy have some serious issues that I'm not aware of?? Yesterday, at the end of the day, they passed in the hallway. He made a gun with his fingers, pointed it at her and whispered "BANG!" as she walked past him!!

I would worry more about the current situation and less about whether there is a double standard..maybe the school is just getting better at handling problem situations..

I would follow up on the latest threat...

2 years ago a similar thing happened with my daughter, the school having a zero tolerance policy, called the State Police and they came to the school and arrested the boy who made the threat..