Dorms freshman year - single or double?

[SydSim]

From those people who have experienced college dorms (or have children who do), what do you think an incoming freshgirl should do. This girl has been the only child at home for 16 years, but is a friendly, although quiet, girl. She doesn't particularly participate in the "groups of girls" type things in school, but she doesn't want to feel isolated in a single. But, at times, she can get moody, so she doesn't want to offend a roommate, either.

Oh, the decisions. Can anyone give my niece some advice from actual experience? I lived in the dorm for all of my four years, but roomed with a friend of mine for the first two and had a terrible experience. (What do they say, never live with a friend?!) My year with someone that I didn't know was great, and my senior year, I had a single which was HEAVEN!

Thanks

 

[mickeyboat]

I loved having a roommate in the dorms - even though we were sometimes moody and sometimes fought. It was really nice to always have someone to do stuff with, and I am not the kind of person who likes to be alone.

Is a single even available to her freshman year?

Denae

 

[fraggle551]

Im a college junior now. I would say to definitely go for a double freshman year. She will meet people that way, which is so important to do. If I had a single freshman year, I never would have gone out and met anyone. Having a roommate in the same situation, new to college, scared, excited, and everything else is a wonderful thing. If her roommate turns out to be horrible, she can always switch. I am not at the point where next year (senior year) I do want my own room, but will have 2 other girls in a house with me. Having a roommate freshman year is a great thing. You really do meet so many people that way. It forces you to meet people. I really cannot recommend highly enough for her to go with the double. At least try it out. Its a lot easier to go from a double to a single than a single to a double.

Where is she going to school?

 

[2girlsmom]

I would say a double is a good idea, at least to start. I did change to a single after the first semester, but to start out, that is at least one person you have a "bond" with, makes it easier making new friends.

 

[CraftyMouse]

I think that sharing a room would be one of the best life lessons she could ever have so I would go with that option. I am also an only child and always had my own room (plus everything else all to myself) growing up. The first time I ever shared a room was when I went off to college. My first roommate and I were about as different as can be, yet I learned so much. I learned that I could live with somebody so different. I truly learned how to share, cooperate and compromise. It was one of the experiences in my life that most allowed me to grow. It certainly wasn't perfect or always pleasant, but it was worth it.

Since you say this girl is quiet and not terribly social I also think having a roommate will allow her to interact with others more. Having a single will allow her to cocoon herself in her room, which isn't always good.

 

[helenabear]

Honestly I would say it probably won't matter that much. At least when I was in school (I'm 31) people would leave their doors open while they were studying and hanging out. I became better friends with people down the hall every year I was in a dorm than my own roommates.

of course I was stuck with a lush, a slob, a girl who hated the room to be below 85°, and a girl who was so homesick that she would make and receive calls at 1 am nearly every night. I had only one good roommate my whole time (two dropped out of college and went home) but made lots of friends with those I worked with or lived on the floor with.

 

[OK!]

If she has a tendency toward being quiet, then a double might just be the best thing for her. I was the same way going into my freshman year and wound up being paired with someone I ended up becoming very good friends with.

As far as the moodiness thing goes, she could always just lay it out there to her roommate, saying something like, "Hey, listen, every now and then I just kinda need some 'alone time,' know what I mean? It has nothing to do with you; it's just how I decompress," or whatever. Communication can help nip problems in the bud before they erupt.

Good luck to your niece!!

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

of course I was stuck with a lush, a slob, a girl who hated the room to be below 85°, and a girl who was so homesick that she would make and receive calls at 1 am nearly every night.

Ahhh, dorm life...how I sometimes miss it so...

To the OP, for a freshman, definitely do the double.

 

[castleview]

Honestly I would say it probably won't matter that much. At least when I was in school (I'm 31) people would leave their doors open while they were studying and hanging out. I became better friends with people down the hall every year I was in a dorm than my own roommates.

of course I was stuck with a lush, a slob, a girl who hated the room to be below 85°, and a girl who was so homesick that she would make and receive calls at 1 am nearly every night. I had only one good roommate my whole time (two dropped out of college and went home) but made lots of friends with those I worked with or lived on the floor with.

Yeah, I didn't do well in the roommate pool either. Had the party girl who had her high school class over every weekend, the LOUD night owl, the angry victim, and the sorority girl who wanted to live in the sorority house so badly that she had to convince her parents that I was too psychotic to live with. (that was fun).

As you can imagine, I found the single was very nice. There's other places to meet people beside the dorm. Good luck either way, though!

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

Definitely do a double..... dorm life was the best time in my life!!!!

 

[Todd&Copper]

I was in a double for the first half of my freshman year. My first roommate was rude and uptight. She wanted to be in the room all of the time and complained that I wanted to be in the room in the late afteroon to bedtime during the week. When someone else on our hall left, she moved in her old space. The school tried to put someone else in my room with me, but she had an eating disorder and her parents apparently gave her the option of college or medical facility. She expressed suicidal thoughts and taped a sheet to the ceiling to divide the room in half. She took upper level lit courses as a freshman and thought they'd be cake for her b/c she was really good in English in high school (yeah, but this is William & Mary, NOTHING here is cake, sweetie). She lasted a week. Not sure if she dropped out, moved, or died.
I was alone for the second semester, but I had roomies the other three years. They were people I had similar habits to and people I was friends with, but not my very best friends. Those three years were great.
Despite the yucky first year roommate experience, I'd still say go for a double b/c even with open doors it can still be isolating to be alone.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I'll go against the grain.
I put my son on the waiting list for the dorm that has single suites -- 4 single bedrooms connected to one bathroom.

My reason? He IS the moody night owl slob with a girlfriend who calls at all hours with the drama of the day and he likes to stay up all night long watching European soccer games on his computer while chewing ice chips (loudly). We're really not sure when he sleeps but after 18 years I've given up on trying to force the issue. I don't even like to share a hotel room with the kid and I'm genetically programmed to like him. I seriously doubt anybody stuck in a 14 x 10 room with him for 9 months would emerge as a best buddy.

I thought about it and realized that his future potential roommate would probably thank me for sparing them. It's an extra $1300 a year. He's paying 1/2 of that himself.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

I had a single freshman year (I lucked out!), and it was fantastic. I could go to the common room if I wanted company, but I also had my own space to study and sleep with nobody keeping me up or "sexiling" me while they got busy with their boyfriend in our room The one year I had a roommate was the worst. I would highly recommend a single in a dorm with a common room on each floor, or a single in a suite-style dorm situation.

That said, my sister and her college freshman year roommate lived together all 4 years and are still great friends today, so it can go either way I guess. They just happened to have an awful lot in common.

 

[Angelhalo]

From those people who have experienced college dorms (or have children who do), what do you think an incoming freshgirl should do. This girl has been the only child at home for 16 years, but is a friendly, although quiet, girl. She doesn't particularly participate in the "groups of girls" type things in school, but she doesn't want to feel isolated in a single. But, at times, she can get moody, so she doesn't want to offend a roommate, either.

Oh, the decisions. Can anyone give my niece some advice from actual experience? I lived in the dorm for all of my four years, but roomed with a friend of mine for the first two and had a terrible experience. (What do they say, never live with a friend?!) My year with someone that I didn't know was great, and my senior year, I had a single which was HEAVEN!

Thanks

I REALLY REALLY REALLY did not want a roommate my freshman year. Sharing a room with someone I didn't know, scared the bejeezus out of me. But, it turned out really well, and now I can't imagine if I had been all by myself. It seems like I would have been so lonely. My roomie had a friend on campus and she introduced me, and we quickly wrangled a couple other people in and wah-la we had a group of friends. I don't know how I would have made friends if I had been on my own. We mde dinner together, and she introduced me to some great bands that I had never heard of. We watched movies together, and had soooo much fun.

I know it doesn't always work out that way, but looking back on it, I am so very glad that I went with the random roommate.

Also! She was really good at math and science and I was good at English and History, so we had built in Tutors and study buddies

 

[WhatATreat]

Well, when I was in college a single was only an option for seniors or I probably would have taken it as I was quite shy. As it turns out I am glad it wasn't an option. I loved both of my roommates (the college had you fill out a questionnaire so they could try to match up people who had common interests and also sent your roommates contact info. before school started so you could get to know each other) and made lots of new friends. I say go for the double.

 

[LBAK]

I'm an only child who had a double room in college and I hated it. I had a roomate who was rude and had very different habits then mine. I also did not appreciate the boyfriend over all the time. I moved to a single room 2nd semester and was much happier. My 3rd & 4th year I shared an apartment with friends and that was a blast. What does your child prefer?

 

[SydSim]

My niece prefers to be alone, but the single inside of a suite sounds like a happy medium (if available). It's been over twenty years since anyone in our family has been to college, so we are all kind of out of the loop I'm more partial to her having a single, since once she's there, she can make friends during classes or clubs. Then maybe she'll choose one of her new friends to room with during her subsequent years. I believe that most colleges have the roommate info form to fill out, that matches you with like-minded folks. But, I'd hate to see her first year made miserable because of roommate issues.

Thanks for all of the replies everyone!

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Hello!

I was an only child growing up and upon entering college I got a single dorm room. I also was not a "girl's girl" growing up. Social butterfly I am not. I ended up in an all girls "honors" hallway...down a short corridor (only 5 singles and 2 triples)...and right next to the room of the conservative RA. In other words, you could not have had a more boring hallway than the one I had.

That being said I do not feel that having a single kept me from being social at all. I made good friends with the girls on either side of me. Most of the close friends I made were in my classes or extra-curriculars anyways, and not just the people in my hall, so what kind of room I had didn't matter at all. Having a single meant that having friends over for an evening was easier, including to spend the night (which may or may not be something you want to encourage in your niece...note that my eventual DH was essentially a resident in my single for a year). I felt that I benefitted from having a single (no roommate arguments, no trouble studying in quiet) and stayed in the same room through my junior year.

 

[DMickey28]

That's a tough decision. My first semester I roomed with my best friend from childhood. We just got back in touch after 12 years so that's how that went!! My next semester I had a roomate that was in band so she wasn't around much. That worked for me. After that I lived in an apartment by myself and that was even better.

You neice sounds a lot like me at that age, even now. Does she have the oppurtunity to move into a single for 2nd semester or the next year? Or the other way around, move into a double after the 1st semester or for the second year? I would want to live in a single but I would have to work hard to keep my door open and get to know other girls on the floor. If she feels that she can do that then I would probably get the single.

Does she have any activities that she is going to plan on doing in college? Is this a big school? I went to UMass-Amherst and if I had lived in a single my first semester I probably would have had a better time but I would not have met anyone at all. I was not even remotely out of my shell at that point in my life. By the time I went back to that school to graduate 5 years later and lived at an off campus apartment alone I was able to make friends with people from my class but still had my space.

Good Luck in her decision.

 

[SydSim]

That's a tough decision. My first semester I roomed with my best friend from childhood. We just got back in touch after 12 years so that's how that went!! My next semester I had a roomate that was in band so she wasn't around much. That worked for me. After that I lived in an apartment by myself and that was even better.

You neice sounds a lot like me at that age, even now. Does she have the oppurtunity to move into a single for 2nd semester or the next year? Or the other way around, move into a double after the 1st semester or for the second year? I would want to live in a single but I would have to work hard to keep my door open and get to know other girls on the floor. If she feels that she can do that then I would probably get the single.

Does she have any activities that she is going to plan on doing in college? Is this a big school? I went to UMass-Amherst and if I had lived in a single my first semester I probably would have had a better time but I would not have met anyone at all. I was not even remotely out of my shell at that point in my life. By the time I went back to that school to graduate 5 years later and lived at an off campus apartment alone I was able to make friends with people from my class but still had my space.

Good Luck in her decision.

Large school and she is involved in track & field. She actually has more guy friends than girls!