Doreen's New Way of Life (comments are welcome)

[septbride2002]

Doe I could have written your post! I just wanted to stop by and give you a

~Amanda

 

[R_Judy]

Hiya Doe,
I have just been catching up on your journal. April has been up and down for you. I wish you an up May. (or down on the scale) It is nice to read about old friends. So here is some for tanning. Have a great Sunday.

 

[DoeWDW]

I'm back for more rambling thoughts.

I've had a couple therapy sessions with some very dear friends via IM this morning and they have helped me sort through more of my thoughts and feelings.

I have a long list of "shoulds" in my life. I am a wife, mother, dog owner, employee, church member, community member, etc, etc. All these many roles add to my list of "shoulds". Then there are the "shoulds" I put on the list for myself, concerning healthy eating, exercise, water, etc.

I tend to place more importance on the "shoulds" that impact other people - those are the things that must get done. Then, I try to accomplish the "shoulds" for me, like healthy eating and exercise. However, when it's time to be good to myself, I'm exhausted. I take the best care of me that I can considering how tired I am - I grab food that's handy (but usually too carby) and I allow myself the rest I need instead of exercising. The pounds and inches creep on. I feel horrible but also feel powerless to stop the vicious cycle.

I don't know what the answer is - I'm still working on that. But at least I feel like I'm getting closer to the heart of the problem.

Now I'm off to the store for some healthy food to make my week easier. Maybe I'll wear my hat!

 

[lulu201]

Just stopped by to say good night and sweet dreams, WISH-sis.
Sleep well.

,
Erin

 

[lulu201]

Well, I guess if I'm going to say "good night" it's only right that I come over to say "good morning." It's time to wake up and start your day, Doreen! God's love is new every morning and even though we might not feel new ourselves, it surrounds us and will shelter us through whatever our day may hold. Please know you're in my thoughts and prayers as you begin your Monday.

Lots of love to you, my WISH-sis,
Erin

 

[Strings]

Hi Doreen,

I'm just checking in on you. Will you be able to DIS while training the new assistant? Good example and all that. I hope today runs smoothly for you, and the assistant is nice and competent. Here's an for the rain.

Have a good one,
Beth

 

[septbride2002]

Good Morning Doe! I know that wearing my hat makes me smile like this --> So I hope you did wear it to the grocery store and it made the day more enjoyable to you. I love wearing it when I go walking!

I hope you had a great day yesterday and an even better day today! Remember there is nothing wrong with putting yourself first!

~Amanda

 

[sharoncity]

for you Doe! Sounds like you've really been struggling with a lot of issues. This WOL is HARD! There is no sugar coating it. It is a struggle and fight all the time. Sometimes we'll win, sometimes we'll lose. But as long as we get back up and fight again, we are doing fine!
I have found that in my life of shoulds and does, when I plan and prioritize and organize, I do MUCH better. For example, if I get lunches and snacks ready the night before as well as the coffee pot set-up, I do SO much better in the mornings. It takes the same amount of time regardless of when I do it. But by having it done in the evening, my whole morning just goes much smoother. That means I go to work with a much demeanor. So my work day gets off to a good start. I get more done, so I go home feeling like I done a good days work. So then I am with my family in the evenings. Which then makes it easier to take the time to fix the lunches and snacks the night before again! It is a cycle that works very well for me. Because if I don't get the energy to do those things in the evnings, my day goes MUCH differently. And I admit, I don't always do it in the evnings, but once I start that cycle, it becomes so much easier to stay with it when I see all the benefits. So I guess my message is Plan and Organize. It will make your journey a bit easier, which in turn will make your overall life . I know, I know, easier said than done, but worth the effort!
So enough preaching from me! I hope your day is going well and that you did your shopping yesterday so that you have the ingredients available for a stress free week!
Have a wonderful Monday Doreen!!
TTFN-
Sharon

 

[CheapMom]

Hey Doreen- I hope your week is off to a good start. I think the time you spent reflecting on everything was time well spent. I hope aren't feeling down today. Congrats on the weight loss!
Mary

 

[DoeWDW]

Not much time for posting today - am getting ready for the new consultant to start tomorrow. He now has a desk to sit at, a PC with all the appropriate software, and accounts on the 2 different computer domains he'll be using. I still have to get all the reference materials together for him - he'll be here at 8 AM tomorrow!

I've taken my meds & vitamins. I'm finishing my 3rd mug of water & hoping to get a 4th in before I leave. I had a protein bar for breakfast, another for lunch, an apple w/ PB and some trail mix for afternoon snack - still a pretty low-carb day, with no binging! Exercise will be after work - a stroll with Maya the ferocious doxie.

I never made it to the store yesterday but hopefully will get there tonight. DH was working at my parents' house again and came home with a fever of 101, muscle aches, queasy stomach and a killer sinus headache. I went to Wendy's to get him a Frosty - the only thing that sounded good to him - and to the video store to rent him some movies for today (he stayed home from work). He was heading to the doc's today.

I'm feeling a little better - still have lots of questions but that's OK. Thanks for the support and encouragement you all so freely give.

 

[Strings]

Hi Doreen,

I just wanted to send some for DH. Be sure to tell him that he doesn't need to share. Are you taking Vitamin C? Take care of yourself, and enjoy your walk with Maya
Beth

 

[ZerasPride]

Hi Doe!

When you do make it to store don't forget your hat so everyone will know who you are!

I just want to say that your posts lately have been so insightful to me. Like you (and I suspect many of us) I wear many hats and tend to put the things that impact other people first. I don't want to disappoint, anger or frustrate other people. Even though most seem to have no problem doing those things to me.

What I have been doing the past five months is putting, Lisa's needs first. If it means bringing my own food to a party, I DO IT. If it means getting up extra early in the morning to get my work out in, I DO IT. I make taking care of ME a priority. At first I felt so guilty. I mean the guilt was eating me up. But I realized if I fell out dead from being so fat or stressed out, then where would everyone be that "needed" me so much? They would survive!

I don't know if my wacky rambling is helpful at all but I do think as women many times we tend to put other people's needs ahead of our own. As you reflect on what the answers are to get yourself motivated, remember the Alicia Keys song "Baby you know I'm worth it!" You are so worth the effort to get to your goal weight. We are all right here to help you get there.

P.S. You posted on my journal that you are 40. I'll be 37 in a few weeks so I guess there goes the "motherly" image. From now on I'll just refer to your kind nurturing "sisterly" image. Big big from me to you!

 

[lulu201]

Morning and for your day, Doe=Doe. I hope that you and The Consultant have a good day together--he/she should feel quite welcomed after all you've done to get ready.

Here's a toast to a great Tuesday,
Erin

 

[DoeWDW]

Thanks, all, for stopping by. Lisa, your thoughts are good ones. I'll be looking at how I can put ME first. Sharon, I love your idea of getting things ready the night before to ease the morning craziness - I'll be looking at that too.

I only have a moment or two before Ron, the consultant, gets here. I handled food well until I got home last night. Never made it to the store. DH is still home, but on antibiotics now so hopefully he'll be feeling better by this evening.

I did walk the puppy and we saw 2 other dogs on our walk. She is scared of other dogs but she believes the best defense is a good offense - she barks her little head off to let the other dog know that she is ferocious and not to be messed with. Unfortunately, this fear is one of the things I'm trying to combat, so now when we see another dog, I'm supposed to take her mind off her fear by running with her past the dog. We did that twice last night and now I know how I'll be getting in shape for the marathon! It does help her though.

I'm going to have another good day at work! I'll be good with my food, drink my water, take my pills. Tonight I'll do the best I can.

 

[sharoncity]

and for your day today Doe!
I hope everything goes smoothly with the consultant.

Make it a priority to get to the store so that you have food choices that are OP for the rest of you week.

Hope you see plenty of in your day today!
TTFN-
Sharon

 

[Strings]

Hello Doreen,

I hope Ron the consultant takes some of the pressure off of you. Today will probably be bringing him up to speed, but after that . Who knows, maybe he is nice and looks like Hugh Jackman to boot. Just kidding, but it would be nice.

Enjoy your walk with Maya,
Beth

 

[septbride2002]

Good Luck Doe! Have a great day and just worry about today!

~Amanda

 

[CheapMom]

Hey Doe- I hope the consultant turns out to be a God-send for you. It really was a great idea. Yes, Lisa (ZerasPride) really heard what you were saying about giving so much of yourself to others you hardly have any strength, time... left for Doreen. I think that probably resonates with MANY of us here. Many women and mothers have that same trouble. I don't really know what to do about it- in my case- at least while my children are small- I think that is the way it has to be. It is easy to say- put yourself before your work, or nobody's last words were "I should have spent more time at the office" but realistically we all need our jobs. We can't really say, sorry boss, I know I have a deadline but I need a little "me" time. So just manage the best you can and try to be good to yourself.
Life is gonna pull you in all sorts of directions so limber up and try to be flexible.
Have a great Tuesday!- Mary

 

[DoeWDW]

to all of you! I truly feel blessed to have such wonderful support around me!

The day is going well! Ron is doing a great job and is easy to work with so far. I feel more at ease and am confident that he will be able to handle the tasks that I've assigned to him. Beth, he doesn't look like Hugh Jackman but maybe that's a good thing!

I had an apple w/ PB, a protein bar & my pills for breakfast and a Subway low-carb wrap for lunch. I've been busy and very productive - am feeling good!!

 

[Auntmeme]

Sounds like a great day! glad to see you are doing well and the consultant seems to be working. Who does he look like???????