Can it be the end of March already??? March has been true to form - in like a lion, out like a lamb. I must say I'm enjoying the spring weather and the longer days.
I did absolutely nothing yesterday, except rest.
I read an article that explained to me why I have these crashes (as I call them) where I am literally so fatigued, mentally and physically, that I cannot function and shut down. When you're really stressed and anxious during the day but the issues are unresolved, your mind tries to resolve the stress and anxiety by dreaming during the night. The more stress, the more dreams your mind must dream to try to resolve it. Unfortunately, your brain waves while dreaming are very similar to your brain waves while awake. You don't get enough time in the deep restful state of sleep that restores and heals your body. If this goes on night after night, you end up very run down and hormonally out of balance and you eventually "crash" (my term), so your body can take time to rest and heal and rebalance.
This makes perfect sense to me. It also makes me feel better. When I crash, I feel so guily and inadequate. Other people keep functioning - why can't I? If I just put my mind to it, I should be able to get out of bed and be normal, right? If the above theory is true, then this is a physical problem and I need to rest and give my body time to catch up and not feel guilty about it. I truly can't just "snap out of it" and function normally because my body is out of balance.
For those who haven't been following my story too long, my crashes initially were once every week or two, often lasting 2 days at a time. Now, I seem to have one crash every 3-4 months. I do feel like I'm coping better with stresses for the most part. It has been a long learning process, like peeling the layers of an onion skin. I still have more to learn but I'm much more hopeful than when I started this journey.
Enough of this and on with my day! I'm at work. I'm dreading my tasks but am trying to stay hopeful and break things down into baby steps. My mind is definitely functioning better than it was on Monday and Tuesday (when I got NOTHING done at work
), so I should be able to get some things done. I'm going to be very realistic though and set small goals for my day.
Tonight DS has his first voice lesson, DD has an eye doc appt, and DH & I have a meeting at the church. It will be a busy day and evening so I'm going to cut myself some slack.
1. Devotions - Treasure birthdays, for as you grow older, you grow in self-confidence and wisdom.
2. Pills - on the desk to be taken with breakfast.
3. Water - on the first mug
4. Healthy eating - B will be yogurt w/ walnuts & a banana. The fact is that my serotonin level is down and my body is craving carbs to help raise it. I'll try to make reasonable food choices. More carbs does not have to mean pigging out on candy and junk food and soda (which I did on Tuesday and yesterday
). I can eat healthy carbs like fruit to satisfy my body's needs.
5. Exercise - none planned for today, but I'll be back at the health club tomorrow.
6. Bedtime - 10 PM, if I make it that late.
9 PM is probably more like it.
I'm feeling better and on the mend. I'll be working hard to not get overly stressed at work today, which will be difficult. The weekend is coming.
Doreen,
: to help.
Take those baby steps...you can do it! 
Amanda
, and 
. Take good care of you! 
Make sure to update your task list and color code them - you know it always makes you feel that you are getting more accomplished. Try to give yourself mini mental breaks through out the day so that you will be able to get through the long evening.
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!!!
DD picked up a new set of contacts and got quite the lecture on actually taking them out and cleaning them once a week. If she doesn't do it, I will change the password on the computers - no access until she complies. The eye doc says that if her lenses aren't much cleaner next time, she will no longer give out contacts and will only prescribe glasses. DD's glasses would be VERY thick and she lives in mortal fear of being seen in them. 
Good morning, Doreen! 
