Dont want to watch nephew anymore...

[StitchesGr8Fan]

From another thread the OP started, it sounds like her parents are very controlling. They don't want her and DH to move out of state to better their situation. I'm just hypothesizing here, but I could see the father saying it is the vacation or nothing.

 

[Poohforyou]

Was this sibling barely making ends meet and on food stamps? If that was the case, no offense to your dad but he was wrong.

If your sibling was getting along fine (not rich, but not scrapping together her nickels to feed her family) I can't blame your dad for wanting to take a family vacation instead of allowing his kid to stay home and have steak and lobster for a week.

Sorry, but unless there are extenuating circumstances (i.e. catastropic illness) it isn't the responsibility of a parent to take funds intended on building memories and use them to bail out a grown-up child. People have to be held accountable for their choices. The OP and her DH need to rethink the decisions they've made to provide for their family.

 

[LisaR]

Sorry, but unless there are extenuating circumstances (i.e. catastropic illness) it isn't the responsibility of a parent to take funds intended on building memories and use them to bail out a grown-up child. People have to be held accountable for their choices. The OP and her DH need to rethink the decisions they've made to provide for their family.

I never said it was the responsibility of the parent to bail out their grown child.

I said if you know for a fact that your grown child is struggling so much that they are on food stamps and can't afford a gallon of gas in their car without robbing their child's piggy bank, gifting them an all expense paid trip to WDW or Italy is stupid on the part of the parent.

 

[Planogirl]

How do you find these past posts with search disabled? I'm impressed.

As for a flexible part-time job, I had one at one time. I needed to come into the office to take care of certain tasks and the company didn't care when I did it. That was a once in a lifetime type job though because every other company is very rigid and wants you there at THEIR convenience.

I would agree that you can't really tell anyone not to give or take a gift trip. It's all very odd though....

 

[Iforgetmypassword]

I never said it was the responsibility of the parent to bail out their grown child.

I said if you know for a fact that your grown child is struggling so much that they are on food stamps and can't afford a gallon of gas in their car without robbing their child's piggy bank, gifting them an all expense paid trip to WDW or Italy is stupid on the part of the parent.

Agreed.

 

[ccgirl]

Need opinions please. I've been watching my nephew ( 2 years old) since he was an infant to help out my brother and SIL. We leave in jersey and childcare is expensive . They pay me 600$ a month to watch him 35 hrs a week. Prob is I have 9 year old twins that i am also trying to get ready for school. As he gets older he is becoming allot more work and it is becoming very stressful for me. My girl were born 9 weeks early and had health issues so I quit my job and have been a SAHM ever since. We have sacrificed allot of things so I can stay home with them and now that they are older I would like to get a part time job out of the house. I cannot work full time as hubby's job has him on business trips every month and no one to care for them except me. I tried to tell my parents , who live close, that I do not want to care for him anymore and basically got a guilt trip from my mom. That he won't be cared for there, he loves me, blah blah blah. She works part time and has told me she will not leave her job to care for him. My brother is an engineer and she works for the state. Combined making good $ we are a one income household on food stamps. I think once September hits and school starts again I do not want to do this anymore. Is it wrong of me to not continue helping my brother? My hubby says he is worried about my sanity and stress level and is 100% behind me not watching him. What would you do?

Did not read all the replies, only the OP.

Have you thought of asking Brother/SiL for a raise? Maybe he thinks he is helping you out as well since you are on foodstamps? Talk to Brother. Keep in mind watching your nephew probably provides more flexibility than a "regular" part time job would offer. My mother watches my children also. But, I also pay her close to what I would a daycare center.

Good luck.

 

[ccgirl]

Yes i am claiming the income. I have to. They have access to our savings/ checking accts and are able to look. They evaluate us every 3 mos and they look at our deposits and payments and trust me , if you think I "make out" with the $ they give me you are sorely mistaken. It doesn't pay for my groceries, it supplements. I live in a town that is not well off and what they give me does not have me living like a king hence my neighborhood As far as getting a raise they used to pay me $30 a week .. When they found out how much child care is , when I told them I couldn't care for him anymore ( after a whole blow up between him my parents- it was ugly) they raised it. I was already receiving snap and my allowance went down. I am grateful for even having the little they give me( snap). As far as fraud ing the system, I don't know how anyone can?? They have access to all accts??

Bolded mine. I have a question about this. My grocery budget is $350 a month for me, DH, DD10 and DS5. Would $600 really not pay for your food budget?

 

[ilovemk76]

Yes i am claiming the income. I have to. They have access to our savings/ checking accts and are able to look. They evaluate us every 3 mos and they look at our deposits and payments and trust me , if you think I "make out" with the $ they give me you are sorely mistaken. It doesn't pay for my groceries, it supplements. I live in a town that is not well off and what they give me does not have me living like a king hence my neighborhood As far as getting a raise they used to pay me $30 a week .. When they found out how much child care is , when I told them I couldn't care for him anymore ( after a whole blow up between him my parents- it was ugly) they raised it. I was already receiving snap and my allowance went down. I am grateful for even having the little they give me( snap). As far as fraud ing the system, I don't know how anyone can?? They have access to all accts??

Are you claiming it on your income tax return and paying your SS on it? Having access to your savings account means nothing. You could just get paid on cash, as can your DH, and have lots of money but look poor.

 

[cepmom]

Bolded mine. I have a question about this. My grocery budget is $350 a month for me, DH, DD10 and DS5. Would $600 really not pay for your food budget?

$350 a month??!!? That's pretty low IMO...our groceries last month were about $830 (this includes household things like toilet paper, laundry detergent etc) for myself, dh, and dd's 23,15 & 12. It would pretty hard for us to get it down to $600, and $350 would be impossible!

 

[LisaR]

Bolded mine. I have a question about this. My grocery budget is $350 a month for me, DH, DD10 and DS5. Would $600 really not pay for your food budget?

I could never feed my family for only $350 a month.

 

[mjkacmom]

Bolded mine. I have a question about this. My grocery budget is $350 a month for me, DH, DD10 and DS5. Would $600 really not pay for your food budget?

I though the OP was referring to the food stamps as the food money. I went to the grocery store yesterday - $350 after coupons!

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I could never feed my family for only $350 a month.

My budget is $400 a month(by choice, not really necessity). I make it work. It takes a little planning though.

I think I will be singing a different tune when the kids get older.

 

[LisaR]

My budget is $400 a month(by choice, not really necessity). I make it work. It takes a little planning though.

I think I will be singing a different tune when the kids get older.

I think my 15 year old son eats $400 worth of food a month. I made ten POUNDS worth of potato salad yesterday and it is GONE today! We all had some, but we had a few normal servings. DS ate the rest. When the heck will this boy stop growing?

 

[scrapquitler]

I could never feed my family for only $350 a month.

Me either. I can barely squeek by with $200 a week for my family (me, DH, DD16, DS10)

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

I think my 15 year old son eats $400 worth of food a month. I made ten POUNDS worth of potato salad yesterday and it is GONE today! We all had some, but we had a few normal servings. DS ate the rest. When the heck will this boy stop growing?

So glad that I have a daughter! I have heard stories from my friends with teenage sons about how their sons are eating about half of their grocery budget if not more. As is, my family of three eats very nicely for around $400 a month. That includes little perks here and there of Disney-inspired dishes. Hey, if you can't be at Disney, at least eat like you are, right?

 

[lillygator]

this thread just negates the feel good thread I was reading on the theme park board....wow!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Bolded mine. I have a question about this. My grocery budget is $350 a month for me, DH, DD10 and DS5. Would $600 really not pay for your food budget?

Boy I miss those days for sure.

My dd's are 21 and 16.

600/month is average for us but that also includes breakfast, lunch and dinner stuff plus healthy snacks.

Shoot I probably spend 150/month just on dairy products.

 

[MnMomtoboys]

So glad that I have a daughter! I have heard stories from my friends with teenage sons about how their sons are eating about half of their grocery budget if not more. As is, my family of three eats very nicely for around $400 a month. That includes little perks here and there of Disney-inspired dishes. Hey, if you can't be at Disney, at least eat like you are, right?

How much do you spend on clothes and makeup?

 

[tasha99]

I think my 15 year old son eats $400 worth of food a month. I made ten POUNDS worth of potato salad yesterday and it is GONE today! We all had some, but we had a few normal servings. DS ate the rest. When the heck will this boy stop growing?

This. My grocery budget is $600/month for just me and DS15. Its partly Alaska prices but mostly because if I buy it, he will inhale it 10 servings at a time.

 

[2disneyboys]

OP - my opinion -- you can certianly tell your brother/sil that you will no longer be able to provide childcare after "Such & Such" date. The more notice you give them, the kinder you are. You don't even have to give a reason, just I will no longer be providing child care as of such & such date. If fact, the less reasons you give, the better, because your brother & sil likly know what a deal they have and will try & convince you otherwise. Just be firm in your answer.

I've got to say thought that I agree w/ alot of other posters.. It is most likly going to be very hard to find a job as flexible as this where youwill clear at least $600 a month. If you don't want to watch your nephew anymore because you don't want to watch him, then that's one thing. I would think it would make it easier to "handle" your new job. However, I assume that you have taken into consideration your girls sick days, school vacation day, holiday closings, etc etc. Part time job or not, if you call out on enough shifts, they will find someone who does not need to "miss" as much work, and then you are in worse shape... Not many work outside the home jobs are as flexible as doing child care in your home are.

Either thing you choose I wish you luck