Dont want to watch nephew anymore...

[nathalee81]

We don't get to choose how others spend their money, or give away their money. While I think it would be great for family to give them money for food, or put it away for college, if grandpa wants to take them on a trip that's his choice.

I also feel that travel is important for kids to experience, at least once. Staying at a hotel, dealing with getting around, seeing all the people from all over, etc., is imo a valuable experience for kids. It let's them see a different world from where they live, and know there's more out there.

Actually, when they are using my tax dollars to subsidize their children's meals-yes, I have every right to have an opinion on how someone decides to use their money.

If she didn't want an opinion, she easily could have left that information out of her original post. I still have no idea why that information was originally disclosed...

 

[chloelovesdisney]

You don't get a say in how grandpa spends his money, it's his to spend as he chooses. He's not the one receiving aide.

 

[J.C.&ALI'SMOM]

You don't get a say in how grandpa spends his money, it's his to spend as he chooses. He's not the one receiving aide.

Did you see the post upthread that quoted a post where OP said she had saved for this trip for 5 years?

 

[crashbb]

You don't get a say in how grandpa spends his money, it's his to spend as he chooses. He's not the one receiving aide.

I suppose though it depends which version of the OP's story you believe - is it a gift trip or did she save for five years?

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Now she's says it's a gift, I have no reason to think otherwise. Her father faced a major surgery and it's common afterward to want to do things with your family.

 

[Iforgetmypassword]

I'm a grandma. I recently paid for the bulk of a trip for all of our kids, including the adult ones.

There's no way I would have paid for a trip to WDW if my kids were struggling to put food on the table, or couldn't pay for clothes for my grandchildren. I'd instead put food on the table, or I'd pay for clothes for my grandchildren. I could not give my kids a trip, when paying rent/electricity/gas was really needed. Especially if my kids needed government assistance.

But, that's just me.

 

[nathalee81]

Now she's says it's a gift, I have no reason to think otherwise. Her father faced a major surgery and it's common afterward to want to do things with your family.

And I guess I fail to understand why that includes a trip to Disneyworld. I spend time with my mom every week and it never includes a trip to Disneyworld....hmmm, maybe I need to talk to her about that You don't need to go to Disneyworld to spend time with your family...

Look, bottom line, the OP has admitted to being on food stamps and taking a trip (apparently, there are differing opinions on who is paying) to Disneyworld. All that information came directly from her...and since she has given the information freely, I have every intention on expressing my opinions since this is a discussion board. If she didn't want opinions, she shouldn't have shared. I am always astounded when people overshare on the Internet and then are (gasp!!) shocked when people actually comment on said information. If anything, perhaps this will teach her to be a little more guarded with what she shares on the world wide web.

Also, no, I don't think is smart for someone on food stamps to give up on 600 bucks of income for a job she doesn't even have yet (and that most people on this thread think DOESN'T EXSIST).

 

[Minerva Mouse]

Need opinions please. I've been watching my nephew ( 2 years old) since he was an infant to help out my brother and SIL. We leave in jersey and childcare is expensive . They pay me 600$ a month to watch him 35 hrs a week. Prob is I have 9 year old twins that i am also trying to get ready for school. As he gets older he is becoming allot more work and it is becoming very stressful for me. My girl were born 9 weeks early and had health issues so I quit my job and have been a SAHM ever since. We have sacrificed allot of things so I can stay home with them and now that they are older I would like to get a part time job out of the house. I cannot work full time as hubby's job has him on business trips every month and no one to care for them except me. I tried to tell my parents , who live close, that I do not want to care for him anymore and basically got a guilt trip from my mom. That he won't be cared for there, he loves me, blah blah blah. She works part time and has told me she will not leave her job to care for him. My brother is an engineer and she works for the state. Combined making good $ we are a one income household on food stamps. I think once September hits and school starts again I do not want to do this anymore. Is it wrong of me to not continue helping my brother? My hubby says he is worried about my sanity and stress level and is 100% behind me not watching him. What would you do?

Dana, DO NOT, LET ANYONE, guilt you into anything. This is your life! I would sleep on it for a few nights, don't do anything on a whim. Then if your sure this is the decision you want to make tell your brother and or his wife ASAP that come fall, they will need to make other arrangements for the care of their child. Give them as much notice as possible, and move on with your life. Good luck to ya!

 

[fortwildernessishome]

The bold would be the part that made this possible. This is not a common thing.

Thats true, but that wasnt the point that I was making. The poster that I quoted said that even if the trip was gifted you would still need a couple hundred dollars to pay for Mickey bars and light up toys. I was just saying that wasnt necessarily true. That some people (maybe none on this board) can and do go to Disney and do not buy those extra items and have the time of their lives.

I only gave the example of that family, because I remember the poor Mom getting blasted on the budget board when she asked for tips. When she shared that they would not be buying souviners or food, since they were bringing all of there food. people got downright nasty. Not just in her case, but I have heard SO MANY times over the last couple of years, when someone want to do a real budget trip, the advice is often, "you should save up for another year or two until you can afford to go and do the extras"

Not everyone needs to do the extras. The OP said she is getting a gifted trip. She may be sticking to what is gifted and fore go any extra treats. Unheard of here on the Dis. but not unheard of for the general population.

 

[fortwildernessishome]

I actually think most kids would have fun on that trip. Most of the kids with parents on this message board? No. But most kids do not get to go to Disney World or take elaborate vacations. When I was young, most of our vacations were camping. We went to MK one day once when I was 6 and visited my mom's friend in FL. I had to choose Epcot or MK, and while I wanted to do both of course, I was happy to do one and had fun. I had no idea until much later in life that people go for days.

I totally agree!

What is unfortunate is when a new person joins this board who is part of the population in this country who dont take elaborate vacations or Disney vacations, they get laughed at. I have seen it over and over. When someone says that are going to eat sandwiches for a week. The overwhelming advice is "that's not a vacation" "don't go until you can "afford" it" "save up for another year" etc. Some people really can be happy on a more simplified Disney trip!

 

[Buckalew11]

I don't know...

it was only one week ago tomorrow that the OP said she had saved for this trip for 5 years.
Now, suddenly, it is a "gift trip" because, oops, she forgot about posting that last Friday. If her brother pays her 600. a month for babysitting, I am wondering why she think *they'd* have to know about that money (accounts...*they* have access to all your accounts) but if you did not put that money in the bank...how would they know? Then you could spend it as cash for groceries, clothes, whatever, and save for 5 years for a Disney vacation. I'd have no problem believe that she claims it and is going on a "gift trip" if her story LESS than a week ago said "we've been saving for 5 years."

Wouldn't you post LAST Friday that your wonderful Dad is gifting you with a family trip? Why say you have saved? If you HAD saved and now are being given a "gift trip" in the past few days, you could keep on saving and have a jump start on a future trip--but in the post in the link, she says " I'm actually worried about what happens when we get back?? Will I be depressed? What do you do to feel better? Planning another trip is not an option. It took us 5 years to save for this one "

So, planning a trip in another 2 years would be quite doable if the money was already saved and not needed for this "gift trip."
If you are having trouble putting food on the table, you dip into the saved money. The whole story is very fishy and I'm just not buying it. And if she misspoke last Friday, she could easily be misspeaking today also...how would we know? I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but when they put it all out there on a message board and all the pieces do not fit and the story does not add up...well, I just don't like being taken for a fool--even on a message board.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I totally agree!

What is unfortunate is when a new person joins this board who is part of the population in this country who dont take elaborate vacations or Disney vacations, they get laughed at. I have seen it over and over. When someone says that are going to eat sandwiches for a week. The overwhelming advice is "that's not a vacation" "don't go until you can "afford" it" "save up for another year" etc. Some people really can be happy on a more simplified Disney trip!

I grew up going to Disney on occasion, but they were definitely budget trips. I had no idea, I thought the motel on International Drive with the little pool was fantastic, lol. I didn't know the difference between that and my friend staying at the Contemporary.

 

[clarkshel]

Actually, when they are using my tax dollars to subsidize their children's meals-yes, I have every right to have an opinion on how someone decides to use their money.

If she didn't want an opinion, she easily could have left that information out of her original post. I still have no idea why that information was originally disclosed...

It was disclosed because she probably Sub consciously knew how this thread would end up. Like typical DIS, everything is blown way out proportion. I have to laugh at how this thread has turned out from the original post. LOL.

 

[nathalee81]

It was disclosed because she probably Sub consciously knew how this thread would end up. Like typical DIS, everything is blown way out proportion. I have to laugh at how this thread has turned out from the original post. LOL.

Huh? If she never would have mentioned the food stamps, the thread wouldn't have gone this way.

I'm a little confused by your statement.

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

If she doesn't want to watch her nephew any longer, why should she?

There is benefit to putting one's self back into the workforce and building skill sets.

I don't actually give a Poohbear whether her recent trip was gifted, saved for, or a combination of the two.

OP, kindly but firmly let your brother know now that you will be changing occupations in the fall (or whenever) and you wanted to give him as much advance notice as you could in order for him to find a proper replacement. Let him know you've enjoyed the time with your nephew and happy that you could contribute to his care during his first two years, and thank him for the opportunity. End of story.

Be prepared for your brother to find someone else on his timetable rather than yours. It could happen.

Good luck.

 

[JOCAmom]

I don't know...

it was only one week ago tomorrow that the OP said she had saved for this trip for 5 years.
Now, suddenly, it is a "gift trip" because, oops, she forgot about posting that last Friday. If her brother pays her 600. a month for babysitting, I am wondering why she think *they'd* have to know about that money (accounts...*they* have access to all your accounts) but if you did not put that money in the bank...how would they know? Then you could spend it as cash for groceries, clothes, whatever, and save for 5 years for a Disney vacation. I'd have no problem believe that she claims it and is going on a "gift trip" if her story LESS than a week ago said "we've been saving for 5 years."

Wouldn't you post LAST Friday that your wonderful Dad is gifting you with a family trip? Why say you have saved? If you HAD saved and now are being given a "gift trip" in the past few days, you could keep on saving and have a jump start on a future trip--but in the post in the link, she says " I'm actually worried about what happens when we get back?? Will I be depressed? What do you do to feel better? Planning another trip is not an option. It took us 5 years to save for this one "

So, planning a trip in another 2 years would be quite doable if the money was already saved and not needed for this "gift trip."
If you are having trouble putting food on the table, you dip into the saved money. The whole story is very fishy and I'm just not buying it. And if she misspoke last Friday, she could easily be misspeaking today also...how would we know? I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but when they put it all out there on a message board and all the pieces do not fit and the story does not add up...well, I just don't like being taken for a fool--even on a message board.

Only quoting you because I agree with what you've said.

Why is it so hard for people here to believe there are welfare scammers out there? Is it because they are posting a Disney board and Disney fans just couldn't do something like that? We are all good people who never do anything wrong because of our love for the Mouse?

My family is not rich by any means. We make sacrifices to go to Disney almost yearly. But those sacrifices are not going to the movies everytime there's a movie we want to see. Or going out to dinner weekly. If I had to be on public assistance of any sort to feed my children, a Disney trip of any sort would be the furthest thing from my mind.

 

[nathalee81]

I totally agree!

What is unfortunate is when a new person joins this board who is part of the population in this country who dont take elaborate vacations or Disney vacations, they get laughed at. I have seen it over and over. When someone says that are going to eat sandwiches for a week. The overwhelming advice is "that's not a vacation" "don't go until you can "afford" it" "save up for another year" etc. Some people really can be happy on a more simplified Disney trip!

I don't think taking budget vacations is the same thing as taking vacations when you are on food stamps and I don't quite understand how anyone could not see the difference.

If you are on food stamps, you cannot afford the basic necessities of life. These are the things you NEED in life-food, shelter and warmth.

I have never seen "trip to Disneyworld" on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. However, food is the most basic of needs.

 

[dbrn]

I have never seen "trip to Disneyworld" on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. However, food is the most basic of needs.

 

[Pooh Girl 71]

People also like to daydream and plan trips. That first mean said trip ever comes to fruition.

To the op, you shouldn't feel obligated to care for your nephew. However, my job is to help others find jobs. I'm sorry to say that this dream job is probably not out there. And if it is, someone else has it and isn't leaving.

 

[fortwildernessishome]

I don't think taking budget vacations is the same thing as taking vacations when you are on food stamps and I don't quite understand how anyone could not see the difference.

If you are on food stamps, you cannot afford the basic necessities of life. These are the things you NEED in life-food, shelter and warmth.

I have never seen "trip to Disneyworld" on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. However, food is the most basic of needs.

Hmmm.......not sure why you quoted me......I in NO WAY suggested anybody should go to Disney World if they are on welfare!!!!

Go back and read my first post. I first replied to a poster that said you would need a couple hundred extra dollors to go on a "gift trip" to buy Mickey bars and light up toys. Since then ALL of my responses have been in regards to that comment and follow up comments. I was STRICTLY talking about budget trips/gift trips. I was NOT in any way discussing going on a trip if you are on welfare.

I was just saying that some folks could go on a "gift trip" and not need to buy extras. I also gave examples of when people ask for tips on the Dis for a VERY budget vacation some of the tips they get.

I HAVE NOT and am not entering into a discussion about welfare and vacations!