Dont want to watch nephew anymore...

[Tinker'n'Fun]

I can see her being able to find a job part time as an office assistant doing some simple filing, copying, answering phones, setting up board rooms, etc. for at least $9.00/hr. If she works from 9:00 until 2:00 (all hours that her daughters would be in school) she would be making $45 a day. Times five days a week and she is looking at $225 a week. That means she will be making $900 a month. You take out a third of that for taxes and she is still bringing home $603. Personally, I think she will be making more than $9.00 an hour, but maybe not. Either way, she will still have more time with just her girls as her job will only be while they are in school.

I can guarantee this job does not exist in any form where I live and it is a big city. The OP states she lives in a very small town.

As for our school systems, forget it. Not even a job at the cafeteria can be found and even if it is, they do not get that many hours per week. I believe it was 4 hours a day when I looked into it and you started and minimum wage. Plus no pay for school breaks and days off.

Don't get me wrong, if OP can find a job that she enjoys within the hours she needs more power to her.

I personally worked 2 part time jobs for that amount and the hours were horrible. Like her I chose that though. But I did not get more time with my children, but I did get jobs with less stress which is what I wanted at the time.

 

[LisaR]

So let me ask you and please I realize this is a sensitive question, don't answer if yiou don't want to, I just want you to think about it,.

You are making and claiming the 600 a month income and you are still on assistance. Basically right now you guys do not make enough to provide for your family. I don't mean to be insulting but that's really the reality of it.

What will happen if you can't find a pt job making at least what you are bring in now after expenses?

Now it's not an issue of cutting out vacations, now we are talking an issue of having enough to eat.

Will you quit watching your nephew before you have a new job lined up? If you need SNAP, I assume you NEED that $600 a month at this point. I'd job hunt first before making any decisions. If there are plenty of jobs available that will work with your schedule, go for it. But what if you can't find anything? I assume the stress of a 2 y/o outweighs losing $600 a month at this point?

 

[eliza61]

[



The want ads around here are very lacking in the type of jobs you both described. I have called many of the places you mentioned and you have to know someone to get in...esp the school districts! Once again these jobs are in very high demand if they even exist and most moms do not give them up.

LOL. My school district was hiring last september for substitute cafeteria workers at 10 bucks an hour. wanted to get 2. they got 700 applications. the job posting was supposed to stay up for 1 week, they took it down after 36 hours. Op said she lives in NJ. Our govenor just cut financial aide to public librarys and if you are not some how superstorm sandy related, good luck getting it. not sure if she's north or south jersey but south jersey public librarys are having a hard enough time staying open let alone hiring some one at 9-10 hour.

There are a few postings for librarians. Must have a masters degree in information science and be accredited by some thing called the american library association. job is for 35 hours/week. Not exactly what I would call pt. Interestingly enough and I did not know this, all the clerical/shelving duties are performed by volunteers.

I'm not saying lightening doesn't strike and not to be debbie downer but some things reality really hurts when you plan one thing and it's totally a different thing once you get out there.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

I can guarantee this job does not exist in any form where I live and it is a big city. The OP states she lives in a very small town.

As for our school systems, forget it. Not even a job at the cafeteria can be found and even if it is, they do not get that many hours per week. I believe it was 4 hours a day when I looked into it and you started and minimum wage. Plus no pay for school breaks and days off.

Don't get me wrong, if OP can find a job that she enjoys within the hours she needs more power to her.

I personally worked 2 part time jobs for that amount and the hours were horrible. Like her I chose that though. But I did not get more time with my children, but I did get jobs with less stress which is what I wanted at the time.

I have a friend who has this job, but it pays $9.50 an hour. She actually comes in at 7:00, though, and works until noon. At one, another girl comes in and works the same job until close. These jobs are out there. They might be hard to find, but they are out there. And as another poster said, she can also look at the school cafeteria, the school office,and other places like that. I also agree with others that the OP needs to have a job lined up before she stops caring for her nephew.

 

[Lorix2]

There's nothing wrong with wanting to stop being his caretaker.

I was on the other end of this myself. My GM used to watch my first child from birth to 10 months old. Not 2 years like you, but she felt tied down and didn't like to have the car seat and schedule to try to stick to, so she told me how she felt. I panicked at first, but understood. I'd hate to feel that I was burdening her and I know that she loved my DD to pieces. She sobbed on the last day she had her because she would miss her so much. I was grateful for the time she gave me and I ended up quitting my day job in a dealership to waitressing nights for the next 16 yrs to take care of my kids. I am back to a day job now for 5 years and so glad I did what I did because that's what worked for our family.

You need to do what you need to do for you. Just put it to them that way, it's not personal to them or to the child. Hope things work out well for you all.

 

[Mkrop]

Around here, lots of retail places have up "Help Wanted" signs. So do restaurants and fast food places. I have seen signs posted outside of office buildings saying that they are looking for help.

And the ones around here that I have inquired about are not for school hours, they want early morning, all day or evening or overnight, none of which is easy to do if you do not have a spouse who can cover those other times with the kids. Believe me I have called and checked and none are willing to compromise bc they do not have to when others are out of work and willing to work these hours. Now I am not on assistance like the OP, so we are not desparate, we just want to pay down some debt and get more prepared for college soon. But DH travels a lot, and can not be relied on for help with the kids due to his schedule. And we want our kids involved in after school things and around here that requires transportation after school to and from. Most days I spend more time in my car in the mornings (some HS activiites are in the morning before school) and in the late afternoon early evening. These activities are important for college transcripts.



Maybe the OP will have better luck, and if she truly wants to stop watching her nephew she should....that is why I have not taken on babysitting, I have no patience with other people's kids day in and day out.

I just live in the same sort of COL area as the OP, the NE, and the jobs around here are not family friendly that I have encountered.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

And the ones around here that I have inquired about are not for school hours, they want early morning, all day or evening or overnight, none of which is easy to do if you do not have a spouse who can cover those other times with the kids. Believe me I have called and checked and none are willing to compromise bc they do not have to when others are out of work and willing to work these hours. Now I am not on assistance like the OP, so we are not desparate, we just want to pay down some debt and get more prepared for college soon. But DH travels a lot, and can not be relied on for help with the kids due to his schedule. And we want our kids involved in after school things and around here that requires transportation after school to and from. Most days I spend more time in my car in the mornings (some HS activiites are in the morning before school) and in the late afternoon early evening. These activities are important for college transcripts.



Maybe the OP will have better luck, and if she truly wants to stop watching her nephew she should....that is why I have not taken on babysitting, I have no patience with other people's kids day in and day out.

I just live in the same sort of COL area as the OP, the NE, and the jobs around here are not family friendly that I have encountered.

You probably do have a better idea of what the job market is like up there than I do.

 

[robinb]

I live in new jersey and there are very affordable child care options for kids 2 and up who are potty trained. Many of these facilities only take kids who are 2.5 and potty trained and no younger (preschool basically). Your nephew will be 3 or close to it by that time right? Full day 5 days a week can start at $125 per week. Some facilities will even let you do 2 or 3 half days for like $50-$70 per week.
{snip}
But, if you really just want to stop, like I said, your nephew is old enough to qualify for the preschool option full-time for the same amount your brother pays you now. Full time hours are usually from 6am to 6pm. Part-time is usually 6am-12noon. The actual class time is usually from 9am-12pm then lunch, then nap, then activities and playtime, and then pick up. If he's not potty trained, he has until fall.

Really? Only $125 per week for a 12-hour day? In New Jersey? According to National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies (http://www.naccrra.org/) The average price of child care in NJ for an infant is $11,200 per year and for a 4-year old child it's 9,250. That's between $177 - $215 per week). I suspect that some areas of NJ are more expensive than others.

 

[Mkrop]

I have a friend who has this job, but it pays $9.50 an hour. She actually comes in at 7:00, though, and works until noon. At one, another girl comes in and works the same job until close. These jobs are out there. They might be hard to find, but they are out there. And as another poster said, she can also look at the school cafeteria, the school office,and other places like that. I also agree with others that the OP needs to have a job lined up before she stops caring for her nephew.

I probably sound like I am making excuses but truly I am not, a job at 7am would not work bc there is no one to get the younger one on the bus and his school does not have before care, and the older one leaves before the younger one. And I know for me I am leary for asking friends/neighbors for help bc I am have been burned before when I worked when the kids were younger.

My BFF just resigned from her school secretary job that she begged the school for. She thought it would work prefectly with the kids schedule. Nope she was having a hard time with her high schooler, there is no activity bus. She never got out at 3:30 like she was suppose to. She has 4 kids all needing to be in different directions. They had broken hands, got the flu, etc. She is not off when the kids are bc there are usually things she needed to do on Teacher Development days, the two weeks after school let out and the month before school opened. Her DH started a new business and he tried to do some of the driving but he is getting busier which is great. She had her dad drive 1/2 hour out of his way each day to take her olderst to FB camp in the summer. There was no carpool going or coming back this way from the school.

I have found the older they get tougher it is.

 

[mickeyboat]

Alos, don't forget school breaks and summer vacations. Will you have to pay for day care for your daughters during that time? Will that negate whatever extra earnings you might receive from a part time job? Will you have to find a job that allows you to take that time off? Will the lack of earnings during that time offset the extra gains?

It's a lot to think about.

Have you considered possibly taking watching another child? I wonder if the nephew has someone to play with if watching him would be easier. It would provide extra income, but still allow you some flexibility. It may not be a viable soltution for you, but I'm just throwing out some ideas.

 

[tripletsmama]

Alos, don't forget school breaks and summer vacations. Will you have to pay for day care for your daughters during that time? Will that negate whatever extra earnings you might receive from a part time job? Will you have to find a job that allows you to take that time off? Will the lack of earnings during that time offset the extra gains?

It's a lot to think about.

Have you considered possibly taking watching another child? I wonder if the nephew has someone to play with if watching him would be easier. It would provide extra income, but still allow you some flexibility. It may not be a viable soltution for you, but I'm just throwing out some ideas.

This was the first thing that came to my mind: summer, spring break, snow days, etc. By the time you factor in childcare for those weeks for your 9 year old daughters, are you sure you'll be getting ahead with a pt job?

 

[design_mom]

I think you are well within your rights to not watch him any more. I do think you need to give them time to find some new childcare that is good quality--until fall is PLENTY of time. It probably is a good time to shift as the start of the new school year can even be the est time to start in a daycare.

I think I would just put it on yourself--not that the little boy is a handful. Say you are at a point in your life where you are ready to get out of the house and will find a part time job next year and not be home to watch him anymore, and you want to give them plenty of time to find the best care for him so you are telling them now.

I would not involve your mom in the conversations or your thought process at all .

I agree with Hadley. You are well within your rights to decide you want a different job, and if you're giving them till next fall to find a new situation for their child you are being plenty accommodating.

However, if the money and the flexibility to meet your children before/after school are important to you, I just urge you to look before you leap. I don't think 9:00-3:00 jobs are very plentiful around here either. It sounds like with your children's schedule and your husband's schedule, many other part-time jobs (retail, etc.) might not work with your schedule or you'd spend all your earnings on childcare for your own children. (Plus there's snow days, and sick days, school vacations, and science fairs/music programs held during the day, etc.)

If you just truly don't want to watch your nephew anymore, then that's totally your decision. But it might be easier to try to work out a compromise with your brother (and your kids) that would make things less stressful. (More money, drop off later in the morning, have kids lay out their clothes and prepare their backpacks the night before.)

 

[foreUT]

Let your brother know you're looking for another job and they should start looking for other child care.

Definitely! You are giving them plenty of time to research other options. They have had the best possible care for their child for two years; they should be thanking you profusely for giving them that peace of mind. Your own family and its priorities should always come first and your brother and the rest of the family should recognize. Shame on them for not doing so.

 

[Pigeon]

This thread just has me laughing.

The OP asked for advice about whether she should feeling guilt over not wanting to watch her brother's kid because it's too difficult with her own kids and wanting to get a job out of the home.

She's been subtly accused of committing tax and public assistance fraud.
She's been subtly shamed for getting assistance.
Her plans have been shot down by people who don't know what kind of research she might have already done on about the job market.
Even though she can't stand watching one kid, she's been advised to stay home and take on even more kids.

Gotta love it.

 

[jen0610]

Yes i am claiming the income. I have to. They have access to our savings/ checking accts and are able to look. They evaluate us every 3 mos and they look at our deposits and payments and trust me , if you think I "make out" with the $ they give me you are sorely mistaken. It doesn't pay for my groceries, it supplements. I live in a town that is not well off and what they give me does not have me living like a king hence my neighborhood As far as getting a raise they used to pay me $30 a week .. When they found out how much child care is , when I told them I couldn't care for him anymore ( after a whole blow up between him my parents- it was ugly) they raised it. I was already receiving snap and my allowance went down. I am grateful for even having the little they give me( snap). As far as fraud ing the system, I don't know how anyone can?? They have access to all accts??

Use to know someone who babysat in home for family members that totally did it under the table. It is VERY easy to do and not show in your account.

A baby sits for B's kid. B get paid every Friday. B takes their check to the bank and cashs it. When they pick their kid up Friday evening, B hands A 100.00 in cash to cover that weeks fee. A puts that cash in their wallet and spends it at the grocery store and gas station that weekend. Who else besides A and B know what B did with their money. Nobody. And that easily, someone was paid money for a job with no record ever being noted.

 

[chobie]

This thread just has me laughing.

The OP asked for advice about whether she should feeling guilt over not wanting to watch her brother's kid because it's too difficult with her own kids and wanting to get a job out of the home.

She's been subtly accused of committing tax and public assistance fraud.
She's been subtly shamed for getting assistance.
Her plans have been shot down by people who don't know what kind of research she might have already done on about the job market.
Even though she can't stand watching one kid, she's been advised to stay home and take on even more kids.

Gotta love it.

Yes, apparently she didn't know the "rules" of the Dis: never admit to any debt of any kind ( except perhaps a mortgage that is 3-4 payments away from being paid off), never admit to ever being on any type of public assistance (unless you no longer are and while on it you wore sackcloth and only ate generic canned vegetables), and never admit to getting EITC. And especially never admit to using your EITC for a Disney trip,

 

[smkiya]

Really? Only $125 per week for a 12-hour day? In New Jersey? According to National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies (http://www.naccrra.org/) The average price of child care in NJ for an infant is $11,200 per year and for a 4-year old child it's 9,250. That's between $177 - $215 per week). I suspect that some areas of NJ are more expensive than others.

The information I gave is correct. My DS is 3.5. He started going when he was 2.5, and he is in his second year. The catch is, it is a preschool, so no infants and the child must be 2.5 and potty trained. There are many in this area, and they are very good. I called 20 places when I was looking. The big names (Goddard, Chesterbrook Academy, Montessori, etc.) quoted the prices you mention. The independents are very reasonable as I stated, and after touring a few, most were just as good as the " big names".

 

[clarkshel]

This thread just has me laughing.

The OP asked for advice about whether she should feeling guilt over not wanting to watch her brother's kid because it's too difficult with her own kids and wanting to get a job out of the home.

She's been subtly accused of committing tax and public assistance fraud.
She's been subtly shamed for getting assistance.
Her plans have been shot down by people who don't know what kind of research she might have already done on about the job market.
Even though she can't stand watching one kid, she's been advised to stay home and take on even more kids.

Gotta love it.

Isn't this a typical thing in DIS? Almost every post seems to turn into some kind of argument or way off topic posts. Very typical in my short time here.

 

[nuke]

I would stick it out. You will never find a part time job that gives you the flexibility that in home babysitting does. If you don't feel valued ask your brother for a raise. You have 3 years of guaranteed employment and money each month before he goes to school.

If he's two now it's going to get easier also. As they can communicate better they are easier to reason with.

 

[bookgirl]

There are a few postings for librarians. Must have a masters degree in information science and be accredited by some thing called the american library association. job is for 35 hours/week. Not exactly what I would call pt. Interestingly enough and I did not know this, all the clerical/shelving duties are performed by volunteers.

.

We pay people to shelve books. We also pay people to check them in and out. (library aides and circulation clerks). It pays much better than the mall and only a HS diploma needed for CC. LA's can actually be in HS.

Of course my branch alone does 1.5 million circs a year. Um yeah we pay people to keep that train rolling.