Don't ask me for any favors (vent)

[Margie J]

My Aunt approached me today and asked if I had any plans for my Mom's house. There is a friend of another relative that has been looking for a house to buy and has had no luck. The prices are sky high around here and many places are junky to boot.

Well, 1) I can't legally sell or rent the house now since it is not my property yet and 2) I'm not selling myself short just to help out someone else's friend.

If this woman can't afford properties in this area she can't afford to either rent or buy my Mom's house either. The house is a big 3BR split ranch with an acre of land. Am I suppose to do this woman a $150,000 + favor by dropping the price to sub-market value so she can afford it. I don't think so! I don't want to be greedy but I want to be fair to myself also. I don't owe this other woman any big favor like that.

I want to take my time with big decisions like this and I think it's rude for my Aunt to even approach me on this matter right now and to ask such a huge favor. I tried to be nice about it and reminded her that legally I have my hands tied and don't know when things will be settled.

What do you think? Am I wrong?

 

[jfulcer]

I think if it were your brother, or some such CLOSE relation then maybe you could cut them a break. But a friend of your's aunts or really anyone... No, you are not obligated to cut them a break at all. And take all the time you want to make your decisions....

 

[disneyluvers]

Absolutely do whatever you feel comfortable doing... After my father died, my sister and I had to sign a permission slip so that my mother could legally take possession of my fathers cars. Can you believe that?! So many people have had ideas about what should or shouldn't be done with her properties (including myself). But that is all they are, ideas/suggestions. I tell everyone that my mother intends to move if and when she's ready. Until then, it's my job to make sure her health is o.k. (when she lets me) I try to make sure none of the properties rots around her (HAHA she always hates to see me and DH doing odd jobs). My point is that, whatever the situation, decisions can and will be made when they should be, not before they are ready. I'd come up with a few pat answers if I were you and use them on everybody! Maybe you won't be swamped with so may ideas and suggestions and especially requests for help. Remember, you are the one that needs the help, not the others right now.

Michele

Chin up and ((((Hugs))))

 

[DocRafiki]

That's ridiculous for her to expect you to essentially give money to someone you don't even know.

 

[swanmom]

Your response that your hands are tied now is a good one. I think next time (and you know she's going to bring it up again) I'd add - "But when the time comes, I think it's a real mistake to let personal feelings get involved with business, especially at such a difficult time. I'm not going to get in the middle of it at all. So, if you want, I'll let you know the name of the real estate agent who will handle the appraisal and sale."

 

[lisajl]

I agree with Swanmom. Don't feel like you have to do anything for anyone.

When we sold our place in MI. the realtor gave us a sob story about the woman just divorcing, no money, etc. I said, I don't care, we all have problems. Either she pays what we want or she can look elsewhere.

Lisa

 

[Dan Murphy]

I fully agree with you, Margie, and a great response, swanmom.

 

[Serena]

She should have never asked you something like that.

 

[4cruisin]

Margie J,

I live in Wakefield and know about the prices of real estate in this area. Please, do not feel obligated to help anyone regardless if it is family or not. Swanmom had the perfect answer for your aunt. Here is a scenario; you feel bad for the person and sell your mom's home below market value as a favor, then the person that bought it sells it 6 months later and makes a fortune off it! You are already going through a difficult and emotional time, ( we have been through it already) do not let anyone rattle you.

Nancy

 

[Jeafl]

Excellent post, Swanmom!

Take your time Margie, and consult at least 3 realtors when the time comes. We did with our last house an got 3 very different estimates. Go with your gut so you aren't sorry down the road. Good luck!

 

[Margie J]

Thank you all. You've made me feel better. Sometimes it has felt like the vultures have been circling for the past two months and they are really hungry. The house and it's contents have been the focal point for many people during that time.

Swanmom, I like that comeback. Eventually, my hands won't be tied as they are now and I'll need a stronger argument then. If anything, my Dad instilled a good business/investment sense into me and this is business plain and simple in this case. He'd be turning in his grave, so to speak, if I gave away what he had worked so hard for. What's tough is to tell relatives NO, especially this one Aunt.

Here is a scenario; you feel bad for the person and sell your mom's home below market value as a favor, then the person that bought it sells it 6 months later and makes a fortune off it!

This is EXACTLY what has me worried. Too many people make mistakes like this while in an emotional state. I don't want to be a victim. Also, I've met this house hunter before and she gives me the creeps. You know, when a person makes your hair stand on end for some reason. All the more reason to avoid this.

In this case the only break I might give someone would be in the case of a relative that needed housing. I might consider renting for a fair price. Even then, I'd set myself up for potential problems. When it comes to money that could get real ugly. If money problems break up marriages what would it do to a lesser relationship. No thank you.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Your first instinct sounds right too me. What she is doing is shameful.

 

[rbuzzotta]

The real estate market in this area is booming if the house if priced right!! Don't undersell your mom's home, especially in your town. It is a sought after town and the house will sell at top dollar when you are ready.

Why should you have to suffer, just to be nice...............just hand her the realtors card and let them do all the negoitating. That is what they are paid for.

You have our support..................Good luck..........