Dog bite- I don't understand this reaction at all

[Mermaid02]

A little boy in the neighborhood was bitten on the face by his friend's (also in the neighborhood) dog. ER trip- the whole 9 yards. The Mom of the child who was bitten is not telling anyone who's dog bit her child. She doesn't want the other child to "feel bad" I don't get it. I think everyone ought to know this dog is not nice. I wouldn't post signs on telephone polls or anything, but if someone asked me, I would be honest and tell them which dog bit my child. It makes me wonder if the boys were teasing/taunting the dog or something.

Edited to add:
This dog gets loose a lot, I found out he wasn't nice in my own yard one day when I tried to direct him home. I have always told my son not to get near this dog (it's a small dog). Now that he's actually bitten, and the child had to go to the ER he has one strike against him- the Doctors have to report the bite.

 

[bicker]

If you're willing to trust the mother of the child with regard to the accusation you indicated you think she should make, then it may be best to trust her to determine whether making that accusation is the best thing to do.

 

[NMAmy]

To me, it does sound as if the child did something to cause the dog to bite, in which case, I can understand not wanting to cause any trouble for that family.

 

[Mermaid02]

To me, it does sound as if the child did something to cause the dog to bite, in which case, I can understand not wanting to cause any trouble for that family.

That's what I was thinking.

 

[nibab4]

Not to defend the dog, but maybe the kid prevoked it in some way.

But as my husband always says it is an animal and are unpredictable never trust them; even your own, it is in their nature to use their teeth to defend.
He always tells the kids NEVER to trust a dog no matter what.

(we own a dog, I'm not a dog hater but very realistic as to what they are capable of doing)

J

 

[Ceila]

OP, how did you come to find out which dog it was if the mom wasn't telling anyone? Did you see it, or did the owner tell you what happened? Just curious!

 

[Carly_Roach]

A little boy in the neighborhood was bitten on the face by his friend's (also in the neighborhood) dog. ER trip- the whole 9 yards. The Mom of the child who was bitten is not telling anyone who's dog bit her child. She doesn't want the other child to "feel bad" I don't get it.

Her not wanting the other child to feel bad harkens back to the way people were raised to have consideration of other people, even if the "other people" owned an animal that may have harmed your or your child.

This woman obviously takes being a good neighbor seriously. It's likely that she's already worked things out with the other child's parents (and probably the police or neighborhood animal control since the incident involved an ER visit) and feels that the altercation or incident is no one else's business, therefore there's no need to discuss who is to blame for what. When neighbors want details about the incident, she's found a graceful answer (I don't want the other child to feel bad) to respond with instead of coming out and telling them it's none of their business.

There's really no need to force her to blame someone publicly. If the neighborhood is worried that there's some kind of bad dog in their vicinity, then they should worry no more. The authorities have been notified and they'll make the decision as to whether or not the animal should be removed.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Not to defend the dog, but maybe the kid prevoked it in some way.

But as my husband always says it is an animal and are unpredictable never trust them; even your own, it is in their nature to use their teeth to defend.
He always tells the kids NEVER to trust a dog no matter what.

(we own a dog, I'm not a dog hater but very realistic as to what they are capable of doing)

J

I agree. My parents were dog lovers and drummed into our heads the proper "etiquette" of being around dogs:

• Let a strange dog sniff you before touching it - that's your "handshake" greeting. If he licks you then you know you've got a friend. If he growls, move away slowly.
• Treat the dog the way you'd like to be treated. No pushing, pulling or punching. No rough-housing (this was directed toward my brother) unless you know that dog well and that's how he plays.
• If you do something nasty to the dog, don't come crying to us if the dog does something nasty back to you.

Most dogs that live in a household with children won't bite another child. They've already learned that lesson. If this dog bit, then there's probably a reason for why he bit and the adults are trying to be civil about it and keep peace between themselves and within the neighborhood. Everyone has to live there, after all.

 

[Mermaid02]

OP, how did you come to find out which dog it was if the mom wasn't telling anyone? Did you see it, or did the owner tell you what happened? Just curious!

She told my husband and my son and then asked them not to tell anyone.

 

[Mermaid02]

Her not wanting the other child to feel bad harkens back to the way people were raised to have consideration of other people, even if the "other people" owned an animal that may have harmed your or your child.

This woman obviously takes being a good neighbor seriously. It's likely that she's already worked things out with the other child's parents (and probably the police or neighborhood animal control since the incident involved an ER visit) and feels that the altercation or incident is no one else's business, therefore there's no need to discuss who is to blame for what. When neighbors want details about the incident, she's found a graceful answer (I don't want the other child to feel bad) to respond with instead of coming out and telling them it's none of their business.

There's really no need to force her to blame someone publicly. If the neighborhood is worried that there's some kind of bad dog in their vicinity, then they should worry no more. The authorities have been notified and they'll make the decision as to whether or not the animal should be removed.

I guess I would feel worse if another child was bitten in the face. Let's say Mrs. Smith lets Joey go over and he gets bitten too- maybe if she knew the dog bit little Billy 2 months ago she might not have let him go over.

 

[pad406]

That's just along the lines I was thinking. It's all well and good being the good neighbour to the owner of the dog but there is also a responsibility to everyone else. I know how'd I'd feel if that dog bit someone else. It is 100% the dog owner's responsibility to ensure their dog doesn't bite even if provoked. If they can they should be muzzled and not left un-supervised. I don't know the legal obligations that side of the water but as far as I'm concerned they are the moral ones. I am a dog owner and lover for years by the way

 

[Mermaid02]

I would like to add that I don't necessarily think this is "any of my business"- I just found it odd when my dh said, "Fluffy bit Billy up between the eyes the other day- he had 8 stitches. But don't tell anyone, Mary asked me not to so Jonny wouldn't feel bad"

 

[Carly_Roach]

I guess I would feel worse if another child was bitten in the face. Let's say Mrs. Smith lets Joey go over and he gets bitten too- maybe if she knew the dog bit little Billy 2 months ago she might not have let him go over.

Obviously, if she has the kind of consideration for her neighbors that you've described here, she's not going to allow little Billy, or any other small child for that matter, to be alone with the dog. If the authorities decide that the animal is dangerous they'll have it removed. And even if they don't have it removed, because of this incident the mother is likely to be sure that it's not left alone with small children who may antagonize it to the point where it might bite them.

I give people the benefit of the doubt unless and until they give me reason to be wary. I will presume that this woman already feels badly, therefore I'd be considerate in turn and allow her handle the situation as best as she can. If I had a child and felt uncomfortable about allowing my child over there, I'd not allow him/her over at this person's house.

She told my husband and my son and then asked them not to tell anyone.

I would like to add that I don't necessarily think this is "any of my business"- I just found it odd when my dh said, "Fluffy bit Billy up between the eyes the other day- he had 8 stitches. But don't tell anyone, Mary asked me not to so Jonny wouldn't feel bad"

It sounds like she's already done the right thing by warning you discretely and requested that you maintain privacy and allow her to handle the situation. I see no need to force her to wear a Scarlet Letter because her dog bit a child who may or may not have been antagonizing her dog to the point it bit the child.

 

[Mermaid02]

Obviously, if she has the kind of consideration for her neighbors that you've described here, she's not going to allow little Billy, or any other small child for that matter, to be alone with the dog. If the authorities decide that the animal is dangerous they'll have it removed. And even if they don't have it removed, because of this incident the mother is likely to be sure that it's not left alone with small children who may antagonize it to the point where it might bite them.

I give people the benefit of the doubt unless and until they give me reason to be wary. I will presume that this woman already feels badly, therefore I'd be considerate in turn and allow her handle the situation as best as she can. If I had a child and felt uncomfortable about allowing my child over there, I'd not allow him/her over at this person's house.


It sounds like she's already done the right thing by warning you discretely and requested that you maintain privacy and allow her to handle the situation. I see no need to force her to wear a Scarlet Letter because her dog bit a child who may or may not have been antagonizing her dog to the point it bit the child.

It sounds like you think I am talking about the dog's owner. I am not. The Mother who spoke to my dh is the child who was bitten's mother. I have no idea how the biters owners are dealing with this. I do know the dog is still in the neighborhood, getting loose frequently. I swear he's some kind of escape artist.

 

[SaraJayne]

Once a dog bites a child that requries an ER visit, it becomes everyone in the neighborhood's business.

OP, I would not be keeping quiet about it if someone asked.

ETA: I should say once a dog bites anyone, not just a child, it becomes the neighborhoods business.

 

[luvmy3]

She told my husband and my son and then asked them not to tell anyone.

The owner told your dh because your ds is friends with the boy? Maybe she is telling any parent that has a child who may come in contact with the dog, and she just doesn't want the entire neighborhood to know all the details

The fact that you said the dog gets loose alot is what would make me say that I would tell others myself.

 

[Mermaid02]

The owner told your dh because your ds is friends with the boy? Maybe she is telling any parent that has a child who may come in contact with the dog, and she just doesn't want the entire neighborhood to know all the details

The fact that you said the dog gets loose alot is what would make me say that I would tell others myself.

Actually, my son is not friends with the biters. My son has asperger's and doesn't usually get invited to play with other kids. And again, it was not the owner who told us- it was the child who was bitten's mother.

 

[luvmy3]

Actually, my son is not friends with the biters. My son has asperger's and doesn't usually get invited to play with other kids. And again, it was not the owner who told us- it was the child who was bitten's mother.

Oh, I thought you meant the owner told you. If my kid got bit, I would tell other parents too, their safety is more important than sparing feelings IMO.

 

[minniebeth]

Once the bite gets reported, and insurance gets involved (for medical expenses), there's a chance the neighbors might get a visit from the police. (Common with serious dog bites, and a bite in the face might be considered so.) The owners, will need to ensure steps will be taken to prevent another incident from happening wheter the bite was provoked or not.

It may not be able to be something that is kept anonymous whether the neighbors want to be considerate or not.

This is just from what we know of friends and family who have had to deal with dog bites.

It stinks when this situation happens, when no harm meant is done.

 

[DawnCt1]

Someone will probably be required to produce a rabies certificate.