Doesn't it make you nuts?

[LaraK]

Does it make you nuts when you tell your kids not to do something and then another kid does it on purpose and their parent doesn't correct/stop them? We were at the pediatrician yesterday and there's a huge aquarium. There's a sign asking that kids don't touch the glass...so we corrected my son when he went to touch the glass and told him not to do it (He's three and a half)...another kid comes over and starts hitting the glass (older than my son). Her mom sits there and does nothing...our son told her to stop hitting the glass and we had to tell him not to correct the other girl because it was rude.

It just kind of undermines what you're trying to do. You know?

What do you do when this happens? I could just see the other mom going nuts on me had I corrected her kid. (Considering all three of her kids were bouncing off the walls, I'm thinking that discipline was not such a big deal in her house)

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

This reminds me of another thread that has just come and gone. I was told by parents that bascially unless it's life and death never discuss, suggest, hint at, or glance toward another parent's parenting.

 

[Cool-Beans]

It never really did. I did feel badly for my kids, though. Seems wicked unfair.

It's a good lesson to learn, though. You do the right thing even when others don't. And just because he does it, that doesn't make it okay.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Oh Lara!!! Hold on tight, this is going to get bumpy~

 

[freckles and boo]

It depends on the circumstances, but in your case I would say to my kid -

"Let's read the sign together. Please Don't Touch. Good job following the rules."

I wouldn't get snarky to make a point but I would praise my kid for good behavior.

 

[L107ANGEL]

It depends on the circumstances, but in your case I would say to my kid -

"Let's read the sign together. Please Don't Touch. Good job following the rules."

I wouldn't get snarky to make a point but I would praise my kid for good behavior.

I like that!!!

 

[Thats_for_Shore]

You just say loudly that the other mom hears you, "I don't care that the OTHER kids aren't following the rules. It's WRONG! We behave ourselves and don't act like hoodlums!"

And if the other mother decided to get snooty, I'd take her down!!!

(In realizing that this is the CB, I know there's bound to be someone to say that "taking her down" wouldn't be a good example to set for my children whom I'm trying to force rules upon, so I'll put up the necessary disclaimer that it was a joke.)

 

[kmp1191]

It depends on the circumstances, but in your case I would say to my kid -

"Let's read the sign together. Please Don't Touch. Good job following the rules."

I wouldn't get snarky to make a point but I would praise my kid for good behavior.

Great idea....but i'd be snarky. Just my nature.

 

[yasmina]

I'm rather passive-aggressive. I would say in a voice loud enough for the other parent to hear something to the effect of: "Remember what these letters sound like? Sound it out. Very good. What does the sign say? That's right, we always follow the rules, don't we?".

There's no accounting for some folk's parenting skills.

BTW, I learned this one day walking out of a store. My dd, who was 3 at the time, was sucking her thumb. Two old ladies were standing by the door, and one of them said to the other, loudly so that I would hear, "Do you see how awful that is? What kind of mother lets her child suck their thumb?". I ignored them and kept walking, but wanted to ask them if they wanted to come home with me and put her to bed that night listening to her scream.



Same with the few evil looks I got for putting my kids on a "leash".

I ignored those situations, but something like I described first would have made an impression on me.

OTOH, I can remember situations where I was so sleep-deprived as a parent that I didn't care what my kids did, as long as it kept them busy (well, within reason of course!).

 

[LaraK]

Yeah, I'll be honest, I felt kinda bad for the other kid. She clearly was looking for a reaction and the only one she got was from my kid.

My son tends to be very literal, he was quite offended that he was told the rule was don't touch and she was touching.

Now, let me state clearly that my boy is NOT a perfect kid...in fact, sometimes he seems like the Devil's spawn to me (it's my husband's fault )....but for once he was actually behaving!

 

[Thats_for_Shore]

Now, let me state clearly that my boy is NOT a perfect kid...in fact, sometimes he seems like the Devil's spawn to me (it's my husband's fault )....but for once he was actually behaving!

Whenever someone asks me how my kids are, I tell them that they're like little devils on crack.

 

[pperfectmom]

Yes, stuff like that does drive me nuts. The one that really gets me is kids climbing UP the slide at the playground. I stress over and over to my kids that that is not allowed and then here comes some little brat that grins as he scoots right up. And I am one of those that raise my voice to tell my kids something just to make a point to the other parents. Of course they are usually oblivious and don't care that little Jonny is about to get his teeth kicked in by the world's largest toddler coming down at high rates of speed.

 

[kmp1191]

Whenever someone asks me how my kids are, I tell them that they're like little devils on crack.

I'll be borrowing this one if you don't mind!

 

[mamacatnv]

our son told her to stop hitting the glass and we had to tell him not to correct the other girl because it was rude.

First, good for your son, I would not have corrected him. How was he rude? He was right and it is good to start learning how to deal with the expectations of ones peers at an early age. I do not think he was rude at all.

It just kind of undermines what you're trying to do. You know?

Get used to it You are going to spend the next 18 or so years hearing "but MOM, so and so's parents........."

I am also the parent that will kindly correct or redirect an errant child. I don't generally care whose child it is or where the parents are.

The one place I will make loud comments intended for the rude parent is in a restaurant where a family is letting their toddlers or small children run around. That peeves me to no end, even my kids will now make loud comments in hopes the idiot parent hears it and hopefully is embarrassed.

 

[Thats_for_Shore]

I'll be borrowing this one if you don't mind!

Please, feel free. I know my two aren't the only ones that fit that description.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

The one place I will make loud comments intended for the rude parent is in a restaurant where a family is letting their toddlers or small children run around. That peeves me to no end, even my kids will now make loud comments in hopes the idiot parent hears it and hopefully is embarrassed.

But isn't that a little childish? I mean, if you have a problem with another parent enough to rant in their general direction, why not just talk to them directly?

I think the OP is right to teach her son not to correct other people. There was nothing more annoying when your a little kid than the "know it all". You know, that other little kid who tells you are pronouncing "vase" and "aunt" incorrectly and that girls are supposed to curtsy and not bow. Sorry...it's all coming back to me. Point is, you want your child to do the right things but to let others make their own decisions.

 

[Thats_for_Shore]

But isn't that a little childish? I mean, if you have a problem with another parent enough to rant in their general direction, why not just talk to them directly?

Because parents do not take kindly to someone giving unwanted advice.

It's much easier to make a sideways comment to no one in particular than to engage an overprotective, stressed, hasn't-slept-in-days parent into a confrontation, where they're bound to get defensive.

They won't actually hear what you're saying, they will just automatically be offended, and all they'll hear is, "I'm a better parent than you, you suck at this!"

 

[LaraK]

We told him not to correct the little girl because it would be in essence correcting the parent and respect for adults is very important in our house.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

Because parents do not take kindly to someone giving unwanted advice.

It's much easier to make a sideways comment to no one in particular than to engage an overprotective, stressed, hasn't-slept-in-days parent into a confrontation, where they're bound to get defensive.

They won't actually hear what you're saying, they will just automatically be offended, and all they'll hear is, "I'm a better parent than you, you suck at this!"

And you don't think that people get equally as annoyed when people tell them off passive-agressively. Imho, if you are going to say something to someone, say it, directly and clearly or don't bother saying anything at all. The passive-agressive approach is cowardly and only makes the person rudely mumbling feel good. It accomplishes nothing. Kudos to the OP for not doing that.

 

[Thats_for_Shore]

And you don't think that people get equally as annoyed when people tell them off passive-agressively. Imho, if you are going to say something to someone, say it, directly and clearly or don't bother saying anything at all. The passive-agressive approach is cowardly and only makes the person rudely mumbling feel good. It accomplishes nothing. Kudos to the OP for not doing that.

People might get annoyed, but they also get the point. You can get your point across in a non confrontational way.

And I didn't say I mumbled. I said I'd say it loudly enough that the other parent could hear it, just in case you missed that.

Ohhhhhh, wait. I forgot. You are a fan of Chef Gordon, he who likes to yell and scream and berate people. You him, that's right. No wonder you want to make a big confrontation about it.