Does your 7 year old talk on the phone?

[Davidsmommy]

I am just curious.

My 7 year old son has a little girl from his class that calls him. She says she is his "girlfriend." I have told him in no uncertain terms that she is NOT his girlfriend - she is his friend, like all the other kids in his class are.

I listened a bit on the phone the first time she called (yeah, sue me), and she was having her doll call him "daddy" on the phone. I think that is kind-of strange, but I guess it is a 7 year old thing to do. He seemed bored. Lol

I have not let him talk for longer than 5 - 10 minutes at any one time - but she is determined! If she calls and leaves a message and he doesn't call her back right away, she calls again. I just think 7 is a little young to be gabbing on the phone for very long - with girls or boys.

Tonight he got home from school, did his homework worksheet, and then went to read (he has to read 15 minutes a night for school). He has wrestling tonight and needs to get his work done. She called 15 minutes from when we walked in from the bus. I told him to get off after 5 minutes and she asked him to ask me "why." I said, "Because I am the mother. You will see her at school tomorrow."

Does anyone else's 7 year old get phone calls? And, what are your rules about the phone? His friends that are boys call, but that is usually just to ask for a playdate. 25 seconds on the phone.

 

[NotUrsula]

At 7 mine wasn't allowed to use the phone socially on his own; just for emergency-type calls. At 10, he can use the phone socially, but he has to ask permission first, and he is limited to about 10 minutes per call and no more than 2 social calls per night on a school night.

It sounds to me as if this little girl is not being given appropriate limits on her phone usage, or has not been told that different families have different rules about using the phone. Perhaps you should speak to her parents and explain what your rules are, so that they can make it clear to her when she is not to call. (With an older child I'd have DS explain any rules directly to the caller, but at this age I think it would be best if parents were included and understood -- they may not be aware that she is callling so often.)

 

[_queenie_]

I guess talking on the phone is just a common phase for 7-year-olds. I think it's an age where they think they are so grown up and they want to do "adult" things.

When my DD13 was 7 this girl from school called her almost every night, and she always wanted to call relatives. It didn't last long (that was really the only major phase she's ever gone through), by the time she was 8 she had no interest in talking on the phone at all, and she really still doesn't.

I say just roll with it for now, if it lasts past second grade than you know it's more than a phase.

 

[liznboys]

Yikes, that would annoy me! When situations arise with my boys, I always try to get them to handle it first. With me guiding them as to what to do. Could you tell your son that he needs to tell the girl that she can only call him on certain days, and only for certain amounts of time?? (This is assuming that he ENJOYS this of course...) Maybe on Saturday for 10 minutes or something? And then if that doesn't work, then you'd need to talk with the parents.

 

[SmallWorld71]

I don't know if any of them use them once they get home, but it seems like my 1st graders are constantly giving their phone numbers to other friends. So, I think the interest in using the phone is very common at this age. However, I think most parents do not let the kids talk on and on and I would bet that many don't even let them use the #'s they come home with. My guess would be that the parents of this little girl are not supervising her while on the phone therefore she has no one to teach her phone manners.

 

[stitchlovestink]

I am just curious.

My 7 year old son has a little girl from his class that calls him. She says she is his "girlfriend." I have told him in no uncertain terms that she is NOT his girlfriend - she is his friend, like all the other kids in his class are.

I listened a bit on the phone the first time she called (yeah, sue me), and she was having her doll call him "daddy" on the phone. I think that is kind-of strange, but I guess it is a 7 year old thing to do. He seemed bored. Lol

I have not let him talk for longer than 5 - 10 minutes at any one time - but she is determined! If she calls and leaves a message and he doesn't call her back right away, she calls again. I just think 7 is a little young to be gabbing on the phone for very long - with girls or boys.

I'd be a little concerned about the 'doll/daddy' thing. It sounds like she has very little, if any, supervision. With a few exceptions (like parents knowing that opposite sex kids are close friends due to family friendships/long term relationship amongst adult parents, etc...), I think it is odd for a little girl to be calling a little boy. In general, my DD's are not allowed to call boys. Call me old fashioned, but I think it is too forward, esp. the older they get. I think if I were you, I'd 'nip' this one now. My bet is the little girl's parents probably won't see a problem with this (they'll probably think it's kinda cute) so maybe you will need to have a nice (polite but firm) talk w/ her the next time she calls about her phone calls to your son. Maybe at first, limit her to a couple of times a week or only on the weekend. And slowly cut it back. Hopefully, she will get tired of the restrictions you have placed and move on to the next little boy. That is how I think I would handle it if I were in your shoes. Good Luck.
Also, my kids are not allowed to give out our ph # without prior permission (incl their own cell #'s) and if Sally calls my daughter for Mary's #, then our response is we will be happy to call Mary and ask her to call Sally. We don't give out other people's #'s either. I hate hate hate it when mine is given out. It's our # and we will give it to the people we want to have it. Sorry for the rant.

 

[nicolemomof4cuties]

We had a little girl that was OBSEESED with my oldes DD last year when she was in Kindergarten. This kid would call like 10 times in one night. It was enough to drive anyone batty- including my DD. Once on the phone you couldn't get the girl off and as soon as my DD would explain that she had to get off of the phone for dinner or whatever the girl would call back 5 minutes later. We tried to talk to the girls mom to no avail. If we didn't pick up she would just call back over and over again. Truly ridiculous! The real kicker was when my DD went with her real Dad on a weeken vacation and the girl got mad b/c noone was answering the phone at his house. When they got back and the phone rang my DD picked it up and that girl was saying all kinds of hateful things to her b/c she didn't answer the phone all weekend Even when DD explained that she wasn't even in the same state as said phone and that noone had been home. My exx told her to tell the little girl that she had to go because she wasn't being nice. But alas, the kid called back like 5 times. Each time with him answering and telling her that he needed to speak to her Mom. My daughter has been homescooled all year and this kid STILL calls. We just don't answer the phone. I swear she is gonna be a stalker when she grows up. Anyway, sorry for rambling but I got on a real kick there. LOL!

 

[GothTink]

My DS7 LOVES to chat on the phone, but not with her friends and not too often. Only her Nana (who lives a few states away), her Daddy (in the morning before she gets on the bus she likes to call him at work), and me whenever I'm on a business trip.

Maybe this little girl's family is really into "phone time"...?

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

My eldest daughter is 10 now and at that age she wanted to give our number to her friends but she didn't really call any of them (although i did encourage her to make her own phonecalls for arrange playdates, party replies etc as i felt it important she doesn't fear the phone) Now she's 10 and it's mostly IM (contact list approved by me and unknown users blocked, computer in the family room which always has someone in it) or email (again we have access to this)

My ds5 does have mostly female friends though- according to his teachers he just meshes better with them, i can only assume because he is between 2 sisters and his little brother is still a baby that he's learnt to associate more with girls?

I think the consistant calling would irk me alot, it would definately prompt me to wonder how inconsiderate her parents were that they are allowing her to keep pestering- if my kids called someone and left a message and it wasn't returned they'd have to wait til class the next day to find out why, not keep calling- that's just plain rude.

 

[MinnieGi]

I have a 7 yo DD. She uses the phone to set up playdates but she and her friends do not just chat. They are more interested in seeing each other! Same way with her friends - they call our house to see if DD can come over to play.

Now DD likes chatting with her grandparents and other relatives when they call but they don't live down the street like her friends!

I'd definetly keep a close ear out on their converstations. Does your son play with her at school too?

 

[mandysbus]

My DS7 has always seemed to get along well with girls....(I think part of the reason was that DS had long curly hair until right before he started kindergarten, so I think most little girls just assumed he was a little girl too). He got his first haircut at disney that summer when he was 5, then it was noticable that not as many little girls came up to talk to him when he had a boy haircut.

Back on topic, DS came home the other week with a little girls phone number (clearly written by another child)....DH joked to me that he should have a little black book to put his first girls number in. DS had not tried calling her nor does he have many children call him.

 

[Annabelleasb]

I have a 7 yr. old daughter & at least one of her friends calls for her everyday. Her conversations range from 45 seconds-5 minutes. Unless she's making a playdate, they usually talk about nothing. I think she just likes the idea of using the phone. The only time I mind is when they continue to call her every 10 minutes. Now my 11 yr. old son on the other hand...........he needs to stay off of the phone.

 

[Zeebs]

maybe the little girl is lonely which is why she keeps ringing. I also wouldn't be bothered about the doll, we complain when kids seem to grow up to fast and to me this just indicates they are still kids just playing mummies and daddies in the new age of technology

 

[bigbabyblues]

My DS7 gets a phone call every once in a while, he doesn't talk long and I haven't set any rules for it yet.

 

[2Kds2K9]

In our house, the phone is a tool and not a toy. I've stressed that all along. It's to be used to convey a message or information, not just to chat and waste time. If they want to talk to friends, they will call to see if the other is home and then go visit.

I'd be a little creeped out about the baby doll thing. This girl sounds like she might be a bit "advanced" for her age. Also, sounds like she's unsupervised. I'd check into the family situation and then proceed accordingly.

Good luck!
Leigh

 

[rt2dz]

I’ve noticed that a lot of the little boys and girls in my son’s grade have “boyfriends” and “girlfriends”. I find it is just a word they have for each other and means absolutely nothing. They have no idea what it means; they’re just playing at being grown-up. I think that might be the case with the doll and this girl—not just the girlfriend/boyfriend label. At first it bothered me a little, but when I realized it was nothing. I let it go. Why bother with anything that has no long term meaning/effects?

As far as the phone goes, no one really calls my DS and he doesn’t call anyone either. Once in awhile while talking to one his friends’ parents, on will ask to talk to each other. It usually lasts 1-5 minutes. Not a big deal to me. Again, just kids learning how to grow up. Most of the time, it’s ask your mom to arrange a play date with my mom. Why they don’t ask their mom to ask to arrange the play date, I don’t know.

I would have your DS tell the little girl that your DS can’t talk today and she should try again tomorrow and limit the length of the call when you do let him talk. Why make something taboo that really won’t have any long term effects? Limit the calls too--one per day sounds reasonable. If she doesn’t pay attention to him, you tell her. If she still doesn’t get the hint, talk to her parents. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had an older sibling that she is simply imitating and the parents don’t know she is on the phone—they may just think she is playing dolls. I’m not picking up the phone every three minutes to check if someone is on it.

If it were my son, I would also talk to him about what I feel is appropriate and why—in an age appropriate way, of course. After all, you want to open up the lines of communication so when it does matter, your son knows he can go to you and feels comfortable doing it.

 

[SplashMtnCrew]

OP....you asked for the rules and etc. that other families have, here are ours:
No girls are allowed to call our son, if our son is interested in speaking to a girl, he will initiate the contact with her if he chooses to. We (our family's opinion, not necessarily for all families) do not think it is appropriate for girls to be calling boys on the phone....there is no purpose in it. We want our DS to choose wisely who he spends his time with.

Like I said, that is the rule within our home and may not be the best advice for all families. I've read some good ideas through this thread, just remember that your DS best interests should be your goal.