There was once a young trolley conductor, honest as the day was long, loyal, faithful, and true, who married a young woman whom he truly loved. They lived together in a tiny apartment, and they had little in the way of possessions. One thing that got in the way of love was the young bride's need for material things. The poor young man was forced to get a part time job to pay for new furnishings, clothes, cars, jewelry, etc, etc, etc. Things were becoming very difficult.
After a while, there was not enough money from the two jobs to support the style to which she had become accustomed, so she told him "I'm afraid that you will have to come up with more money, or I will leave you." She whispered, "I have a plan." "As a conductor, you will take one small penny from each fare. No one will notice, and we will be able to live as we like." As difficult as this was to accept, the young man agreed. Soon he was pocketing pennies and life seemed good.
Gentle Reader, I'm sure you know what came next. There was not enough money in the pennies to satisfy the young bride's need. Soon the conductor was taking two cents. Then three. Then a nickel. Then six cents. Then eight. At this time you must know that the fares were only a dime. Finally the poor young conductor was taking the entire dime of each fare. The Transit Company became suspicious (of course).
They hired a detective to ride the trolley and find out once and for all why there were no fares being turned in. The young man knew he was caught, gave up on the spot, was relieved of his duties as a conductor, and taken into custody.
The trial came swiftly as promised by the law of the land. The poor man was convicted and sentenced to death (for stealing tokens??? okay, its a shaggy dog story y'know). He was remanded to the State Prison to await his fate in the Electric Chair.
The day arrived for the final destination, and he was strapped into the chair, and the warden pulled the switch. Nothing happened.
Unfazed, the warden had all the prison power routed to the Death Chamber. He pulled the switch again. Nothing.
Finally the Governor arrived, and entered the Death Chamber. He pulled the mask from the young man's face and demanded to know why fate had spared him.
The young man gazed into the Governor's eyes and said:
(ok, dont execute the story teller here.....)
"What can I say? I'm a poor conductor."
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After a while, there was not enough money from the two jobs to support the style to which she had become accustomed, so she told him "I'm afraid that you will have to come up with more money, or I will leave you." She whispered, "I have a plan." "As a conductor, you will take one small penny from each fare. No one will notice, and we will be able to live as we like." As difficult as this was to accept, the young man agreed. Soon he was pocketing pennies and life seemed good.
Gentle Reader, I'm sure you know what came next. There was not enough money in the pennies to satisfy the young bride's need. Soon the conductor was taking two cents. Then three. Then a nickel. Then six cents. Then eight. At this time you must know that the fares were only a dime. Finally the poor young conductor was taking the entire dime of each fare. The Transit Company became suspicious (of course).
They hired a detective to ride the trolley and find out once and for all why there were no fares being turned in. The young man knew he was caught, gave up on the spot, was relieved of his duties as a conductor, and taken into custody.
The trial came swiftly as promised by the law of the land. The poor man was convicted and sentenced to death (for stealing tokens??? okay, its a shaggy dog story y'know). He was remanded to the State Prison to await his fate in the Electric Chair.
The day arrived for the final destination, and he was strapped into the chair, and the warden pulled the switch. Nothing happened.
Unfazed, the warden had all the prison power routed to the Death Chamber. He pulled the switch again. Nothing.
Finally the Governor arrived, and entered the Death Chamber. He pulled the mask from the young man's face and demanded to know why fate had spared him.
The young man gazed into the Governor's eyes and said:
(ok, dont execute the story teller here.....)
"What can I say? I'm a poor conductor."
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