Does this make me a bad mom??

[FairyDust27]

Hi everyone, I have a question for all you moms and dads out there with little ones. My family is planning our first (Well my husband and kids first. My fourth) Disney vacation in March. My two oldest kids will be 4 and 6. My youngest will have just turned 2 and we are planning on leaving her home here in Michigan with grandma and grandpa.

I am having a TON of guilt about this. My good friend told me to take my daughter and that she will have a lot of fun. While I know that there will be parts that she will love, I know that there will also be times that we all will want to pull our hair out. I feel like taking her will mean that the other two kids will not get as much out of Disney as they would of if it was just the four of us. Other than Ride Swap I have no idea how we could possibly get rides in and I'm really worried about night time. My youngest has a very hard time falling asleep in strange places. Also it will be everyone's first plane ride except for me. The whole thought of taking my youngest gives me immense anxiety.

On the other hand, I can only imagine her face when she sees Minnie for the first time! I would love to have our photos include her and I really cannot imagine leaving her behind but I feel it's just not practical. I begged my parents to come with us for help but they cannot.

We DO plan on going back in a few more years when my oldest can ride everything and my youngest two and can do most things.

What does everyone think?? Am I freaking myself out too much or will it be a total anxiety/tired/irritable fest if we took her??

 

[MomTo3PrincessesInNJ]

Our youngest was a little over 1 on our first trip and she had a blast. We used child swap and it was great -- my older kids loved riding all the rides twice with no wait.

Like you, I couldn't imagine taking a family vacation when part of my family was at home.

If you think you're going to feel bad while you're there (I know I would) then I would bring the baby along. You could also look into hiring a sitter/mother's helper if you are comfortable with that. You can pay someone to hang out in the parks with you -- best of both worlds, IMO.

 

[stinkerbellsmommy]

Truly, my best answer is that only you know your family....I can see both sides of the coin, wanting to make sure the oldest two have a good time, but feeling bad that the youngest is "left out".

I don't have a third child in the mix, but we have brought our two at various ages, with my son as young as 6 months old. Was it a little more difficult to plan around rides, yes, but nothing that would have made me think "Gee I wish we didn't bring him". And you're right, seeing their faces light up when they see Mickey (and other characters) was, to me, far more worth it. We took our first family trip when our daughter was only 15 months old, and some people thought it was a bad idea because she wouldn't remember anything. Sure she won't, but looking at those pictures/videos now, and watching it happen "live" -- wouldn't trade it. Personally, I would have felt the big mommy guilt (and goodness knows we pile enough of that on ourselves for everything else, haha) if we left one of them. YMMV though. Definitely your decision, and only you and your husband know what's best for your family. For what it's worth, if we were in your shoes, I would bring all three...just my opinion

 

[alievans719]

I'm no parent, but my sister did this. She has three boys. She took the older two on vacation, and the youngest(then about a year old) was at home with his grandparents. At the youngest age, and even two, they won't remember much. I think it might be nicer to have the older two, and you're not outnumbered, and you can take all three when they're a bit older.

I wouldn't feel guilty; three kids, especially young, is a lot to handle at Disney! Take the older two, get the ropes of how to do it, and come back and start planning for the next trip.

 

[Lincolnshire]

I just took my 2 year old and 4 month old, and it is doable - but if you'd rather leave the 2 year old with grandma and grandpa I think you can spin that as a Super Special Week for your toddler. After all how often does a third child get the undivided attention of two adults for a whole week? If your guilt will outweigh the convenience/fun of having an older kids only trip, then I'd take the littlest, but I wouldn't feel at ALL guilty about leaving the toddler if you think the older two will have more fun that way.

 

[ChitownFamily]

Hi everyone, I have a question for all you moms and dads out there with little ones. My family is planning our first (Well my husband and kids first. My fourth) Disney vacation in March. My two oldest kids will be 4 and 6. My youngest will have just turned 2 and we are planning on leaving her home here in Michigan with grandma and grandpa.

I am having a TON of guilt about this. My good friend told me to take my daughter and that she will have a lot of fun. While I know that there will be parts that she will love, I know that there will also be times that we all will want to pull our hair out. I feel like taking her will mean that the other two kids will not get as much out of Disney as they would of if it was just the four of us. Other than Ride Swap I have no idea how we could possibly get rides in and I'm really worried about night time. My youngest has a very hard time falling asleep in strange places. Also it will be everyone's first plane ride except for me. The whole thought of taking my youngest gives me immense anxiety.

On the other hand, I can only imagine her face when she sees Minnie for the first time! I would love to have our photos include her and I really cannot imagine leaving her behind but I feel it's just not practical. I begged my parents to come with us for help but they cannot.

We DO plan on going back in a few more years when my oldest can ride everything and my youngest two and can do most things.

What does everyone think?? Am I freaking myself out too much or will it be a total anxiety/tired/irritable fest if we took her??

since your other two kids are so close in age to the 2 year old & you will be dealing with the same kind of "young child issues" like overstimulated, hungry but not using words, tantrums- all the wonderful things about young kids- i would just take the 2 year old. What i'm trying to say the needs of a 2 & 4 year old are very similar. If you had a 12 yr old, 10 yr & 2 yr old, i could maybe see the difficulties. but really you are already going to be facing so much of the same kind of behavior with your 4 year old. besides everything your 4 yr old can ride & do is almost the same for your 2 year old. Here is the height restrictions, considering this is over 4 parks- there are not many height restricted rides.http://www.wdwinfo.com/wdwinfo/height.cfm

 

[mom2AidanAndEli]

Only you can answer this for your family.

For me, we only have two so it's a little different. But I think the killer for me would be looking at pictures afterwards and we're not all there. We have pictures of our Disney vacations all over the house--the family in front of each park icon, on the rides, etc. I can't imagine only having one of the boys in those pictures and not the other. That's on top of the guilt I'd feel while I was there!

Have you considered maybe waiting another year and taking them all if you're really worried about your daughter being too young? Our first trip was when the boys were 5 and 7 and I feel like that was the perfect age! Maybe if you had a 7, 5, and 3 year old it would be a little more doable???

 

[kellyjeanie]

I'm sure your 2-year-old will have fun either way. So don't worry about it or feel guilty. You know your family best, and whether having your 2-year-old there will cause you a lot of anxiety. You're not a bad mom!

We did take our 2-year-old in 2013, though, and it was so fun. With ride swap my older two got to ride so many rides twice in a row. He took short naps in the stroller every day even though he doesn't nap at home - he was worn out! And yes, the time he met Mickey? It chokes me up just thinking about it. He still talks about riding the "Goofy ride" (Barnstormer). We tell him we'll go again when he's 5 so he can ride the bigger rides, and every so often he'll tell random strangers that he's growing! And he'll be 5! And then he's going to DISNEY WORLD!!!

We were there long enough to take it easy and tried to keep it to his pace, which I think helped us not feel rushed or feel like we had to see everything. We didn't do many late nights, even though my older two were 5 and 8.

 

[Dawnlight]

No, it doesn't make you a bad mom!

I think 2 is too young to really enjoy the experience. If you are able to go back when your youngest is older, then do that, if this is a once only trip, then I'd consider bringing her along.

I'm past those little years with kids, but I do remember how much work it is with a 2 year old and their needs versus an older 4 and 6. If you decide to leave her with the grandparents, I'm sure it'll be a special time to have all that alone time with them!

There's going to come a time, real soon, in our family where the older kids will be off at school and we'll most likely vacation without them. I'm not going to feel guilty at all. There are already times when I leave the older 3 home and take the younger 3 to movies and events. Different ages, different interests.

There's no right answer, mama; whatever you decide will work out!

 

[MomBird]

Our youngest was a little over 1 on our first trip and she had a blast. We used child swap and it was great -- my older kids loved riding all the rides twice with no wait.

My youngest was just over 1 for her first trip too and she loved it! Plus, my son was 5 for that first trip with his sister and he still talks about how much fun it was to get to ride the rides twice in a row because of child swap. He's often said he wished his sister were little again to get that perk (and they're both teens now!).

There is so much for 1-2 year olds to enjoy - pool time, cotton candy , the carousel, Dumbo, even the Great Movie Ride, etc. And...seeing pictures of themselves years later. The reactions to the characters could go either way. My son loved them at 2; my daughter - not so much.

Your older kids are still little enough that after a tough morning at the parks, they might even like a nap still so that could work well for all three kids.

Good luck deciding!

p.s. My family HAS split Disney trips before. My husband took my son for a guys weekend for just the two of them for Star Wars and loved it. I would just say that the 2 yr old really won't slow you down very much or prevent you older kids from enjoying the experience.

 

[hedgehog2owl]

my son is almost 2 and while I think he would have a ton of fun at WDW, I also know he would have a BLAST with grandma and grandpa all to himself! The biggest issue for me would be I would miss him.

 

[Mousemommy1]

Everyone's family has different thoughts on this, but for us, it's not a family vacation if we are not all there.

We do go annually, and our upcoming April trip will be our girls' 6th trip, but it will be different because their baby brother will be joining the family on Monday and he will most definitely be joining us on our trip. He will be 3 months old. It wasn't even a thought that we would leave him behind.

Will it be tougher traveling with an infant? Yup. Will it be a different experience? Yup. But we are an extremely close family, and this little guy will be a part of that. No way would we leave him behind. We actually can't wait for his 1st Disney experience!

 

[MomBird]

Adding on...

Actually, my youngest did have a hard time falling asleep because she liked to sleep in complete darkness, and complete silence in a room of her own. So...that turned out to be the pack-and-play set up in our bathroom at the Animal Kingdom Lodge.

We bought DVC not long after that trip.

 

[cfriend416]

I have gone with my niece for the weeks of her first and second birthday. We had a great time both trips. When she was one, we had 5 adults and two rooms. I'm not sure it would have worked otherwise.

While the first trip was fun with her, the second trip was even better. Even though she barely 2, it was an awesome age to bring her. She loved the rides and characters. This trip we had 3 adults and just 1 room (Pop) so nights were a little tough because she was too excited to fall right to sleep most nights. However, that was the only real struggle. We didn't go back to the rooms for naps, we'd just find a quiet place to rock the stroller until she slept.

I honestly think with your family, you will have a wonderful time bringing the 2 yo along. You will be able to ride most rides together. For rides with a height requirement that your older kids meet, you can do rider swap and the kids will get to ride twice! What's better than that?! If you find the little one is getting too overwhelmed in the parks and you need to head out for a nap or some downtime, that's honestly probably what your older ones will need as well!

My niece is almost 3 and still talks about Disney World all the time. Who knows if she actually remembers it or not, but we have the memories of going with her, and that's just as special.

I say bring her, but only you know your family best.

Edited, because I accidentally said we went for my niece's third bday when it was her second.

 

[cjbcam]

We went when my kids were 2,4,8 and 10. And again last year when they were 3,5/6,9&11. Both times where awesome. My DS, the 2 year old, talked about it for the whole year until we went again. He still talks about it daily.
I would not feel right leaving my child but I would also not look down on you if you did. Remember he is also free when he's 2 when it comes to tickets, hotel and dining plan.

 

[SweetMissy]

Hubby and I are going BY OURSELVES next month...and I do feel guilty as well. It's our vacation spot as a family and will be sad to be there without them. However I'm super excited to be there without them, lol, weird. I personally wouldn't be able to leave a kid behind though while taking the others. 2 is a tough age, I know. We took our now almost 11 year old when he was 2 for our 1st trip and him being the horrible toddler he was made for an interesting trip, lol. But that was 2 1/2 kids ago, we're used to the craziness and would never leave a kid behind. However, you know your family and know what's best. Good luck deciding!

 

[FairyDust27]

Wow! There are a lot of responses!!

Thank you everyone for your non judgmental responses. They really help this mama out a lot!

Many of you really encouraged us to take her and I have to say you did put my mind at ease. I still haven't figured out yet if she will be going or not but I feel better with either one that I choose. I do know that if she does stay back that a whole week with Grandma and Grandpa to herself might be as close to Disney as she can get without actually going LOL.

A few questions: How exactly does the child swap work on rides?? Many of you said that my other two would be able to ride twice this way? I'm having a hard time trying to visualize this.
Also, I understand that my youngest would be free for the dining plan but does that mean she gets a free meal or she just shares with us? I can see a tantrum in our future if her older siblings got cool kids meals cups and she was stuck with her sippy. Would we pay out of pocket for that?

Thanks again everyone!!

 

[kellyjeanie]

A few questions: How exactly does the child swap work on rides?? Many of you said that my other two would be able to ride twice this way? I'm having a hard time trying to visualize this.
Also, I understand that my youngest would be free for the dining plan but does that mean she gets a free meal or she just shares with us? I can see a tantrum in our future if her older siblings got cool kids meals cups and she was stuck with her sippy. Would we pay out of pocket for that?

Thanks again everyone!!

For the rider swap, it's really easy. The whole family walks up to the line and asks for a rider swap ticket. You'll need the toddler present so the CM can see her. You can do this either for the standby line or if you have a Fast Pass. One parent then takes the kids who are tall enough to ride, while the other parent takes the toddler to wait by the exit or to a shop or wherever. After the first group gets off, the second parent and the kids go back to the Fast Pass entrance with the rider swap ticket to ride again through the Fast Pass line. If I recall correctly, the rider swap ticket has no return time - you can go back immediately to ride or catch it later that day.

As far as the dining plan, if it's a buffet or family style your 2-year-old can get her own plate. If it's a restaurant where you choose a meal from a menu, the 2-year-old won't get her own meal, it's assumed you will share with her or you can buy one out of pocket. I don't remember about the cups, if the server just provided a cup of milk to match the other kids to be nice or what, or if we bought one out of pocket.

 

[MEP2013]

I know a lot of people who do this with their little ones. Honestly I see nothing wrong with it. I toyed with the idea as well when we were starting to plan. In many ways it would be a lot easier.

For my family we decided it wouldn't be the best option. My husband knows that I wouldn't have been happy leaving the baby (will 16 months at the time of the trip). My older girls are 3 and 5 and basically anything that we go on he will be able to go on too. There are only a couple rides that me and my oldest will go on together and honestly, I'm forcing her, she's not a thrill seeker.. I also think that nobody will enjoy the Frozen sing a long more than him, nobody can belt out let it go quite like him.

At the end of the day it totally depends on the family, and you are definitely not a bad mother if you decide not to take your youngest. Either way you are a pretty awesome mom for knowing what's best for your family and caring enough to weigh the options.

 

[MissDaisyofTexas]

We are a family of 5. In 2013, I took my 2 boys (who were 9 and 5 at the time) to WDW by myself and left my DD (then 2 1/2) home with my DH. We went to WDW for a special group reunion and it was just too expensive to take all 5 of us.

My DD had the best weekend with my DH! She did find some photos of our trip and asked why she wasn't there...but I told my boys I would be going on a trip with just her when she's older to make up for it. Probably at a time when the boys can't miss school and I can pull her out of school.

Good luck with whatever you decide!