Does this bother anyone else?

[Fishbone†]

Hi guys!!!

I was just curious if anyone else runs into this, and how they handle it?

Since it’s been well over a year since I have reached my goal weight, and over two years since I started the process, my fiance’s family and the guys I work with have no idea there used to be more of me.

Well last night at our work Christmas party, I was talking to a couple of the wives and they made a comment about the cake I was eating, and how tiny I am (I’m a size 2 now, down from a 16), followed by “I could never eat that and stay thin”…. Blah, blah blah, and I mentioned that I wasn’t always this thin, and told them how I’d done it. I didn’t deprive myself, I merely cut the portions in half, or even smaller until I got to the weight I wanted, and (key points) learned to discover my “satisfied” point, learned to eat to live, not live to eat, learned to make healthy choices when I wasn’t battling a craving, satisfy my cravings in moderation when I was, and learned to enjoy my food while I eat it, not eat it as fast as I could…. My taste buds are in my mouth, not my stomach. Anyway, I digress…….

One of the guys over-heard the conversation, and how much I used to weigh, and couldn’t believe it. Remember, they only know me as I am right now. So this morning, he says… “WOW!! Were you really 180???? You must have been as wide as you are tall!!” Now I’m proud of what I’ve done, but it’s comments like those that bother me. I know I wasn’t small, and I know it was in the past, but it’s still not okay to make comments like that. Maybe it’s just me, but “WOW, you were chunky”, or “She used to be HUGE!” etc….. still hit a nerve with me. It still feels like an insult to my being ….. although to my former being, to me it’s an insult none-the-less. Does that make sense?? Does anyone else feel this way?? Is this insensitve, or am I just being overly sensitive??

 

[SetzKitten]

Anything anyone says about my weight bothers me. I'm still chewing (no pun intented ) on a "compliment" I got last month. It's really bothering me. I lost a lot of weight a few years ago. I ended up at about 128 pounds(5'3"), and was happy with that. This past year, I put about 12 pounds of it back on. I visited my SIL last month and she said, "Oh, I'm so glad you put some weight back on, you looked horrible so thin." WHAT??? I plan to lose the weight again, and I thought I was looking pretty good. Definitely not the emaciated mess she made me out to be. She went on and on about how bad I looked when I was thinner. Now I'm wondering if everyone was lying to me when they said I looked good at 128. As if losing weight isn't hard enough without trying to second guess yourself.

BTW, you're not being overly-sensitive. They're just plain rude.

 

[Tiger Lily 03]

In the arena of comments about weight, no matter which way one steps it is not correct. My friend was underweight for many years as was my Mom and a neighbor of mine. We have all learned a lesson in our discussions. Make it known that you are not happy with comments in either direction of the weight issue or of commenting in a negative manner toward anyone. I think people are sometimes unintentionally insensitive and perhaps awareness may allow for better word choices. Sure it won’t change opinion, but at least comments in your presence will be better thought.

The big issue we have encountered in our discussions is that if we feel something is wrong with a conversation, we let people know it is not ok to make those comments. It may be oversensitive, but it is also an awareness issue. It may not make us part of the in crowd, but that type of crowd is not always the one to be in anyway.