Does everyone buy Christmas presents for their adult nieces and nephews?

[2angelsinheaven]

We still get gifts from my Aunt/Uncle and from Grandma, I'm 26 and my sister is 20. We don't get gifts from the one set, but they don't exchange with anyone. So when we go to my Grandmother's on Christmas Eve we get a gift from my Aunt (Mom's sister) and her husband and my Grandmother, samething every year....lol. A bath set and $50 from Grandma and some liqour or candles from my Aunt and a gift card for a meal out.

 

[bushdianee]

I am the oldest of 8 and currently have 11 nieces and nephews and 1 great nephew. The adults have been drawing names for several years and whoever wanted to bought for the kids. They enter the drawing fter they graduate from high school. I bought for all until then but not of my siblings did. I love to buy for the kids and I don't have any of my own, so I usually go overboard. As of now there I but for 2 nieces who are 16 and 1 and great-nephew who is 10 months. Next year there will be another great niece or nephew and hopefully another new niece or nephew. My Mom buys for all 30 of us! We keep telling her to cut back but she tres to spend $50 on each except for the 16 year old and the babies. They get more! I cut birthdays at 21.

 

[Poppinsme]

Yes I do. There all I have left as I am the last in my family. In fact I just bought them all New Orleans Saints tee-shirts for XMAS. They live in Virginia and cant wait to get them. It was expensive to buy 9 tees but what the heck, im there Aunt and they are worth it.

 

[azgal81]

I am in my mid 20s and my aunts and uncles buy gifts for us we used to do a name exchange thing but we just donate all the money we would have spent to charity. Well it's always fun to get gifts it's much better to either donate the money or buy gifts for a family who really needs them.

 

[epcotfan]

I'm 34 and I received gifts from my aunt and uncles. My cousins are significantly younger than I am but they still gave me a gift. My mother gave my cousins gifts. I don't see why anyone should be excluded from a small gift (unless of course you don't want to exchange gifts at all) based on how often you see them. Personally I couldnl't omit any one person. I only see my aunts and uncles one or twice a year. They live about two hours from me.

 

[NMAmy]

I think it depends on the relationship you have with nephews & nieces.

My nephew is 31 and my niece is 29. I'm only 12 and 14 years older than them. I have always been extremely close with both of them--more like younger brother and sister or practice kids for me. My nephew and his wife, my niece, her husband, and each of my great-nephews and nieces get gifts from DH and I. It doesn't matter if they don't have a gift for me--my favorite gift is photos of the little kids. They're all just getting started in their lives, starting families, etc. It's more important for them to spend their money on that then on a gift for me and I'm fine with that. I love them dearly. I give them gifts because I want to.

 

[Ranatra]

To answer the OP's question, No, we don't. We only buy for the young nieces and nephews. We don't buy for the adult nieces and nephews.
DH's youngest brother has very young kids, 3 and 4 years old and his sister has a 10 year old. All the other nieces and nephews are grown up.

I don't see anything wrong with your decision and DH's brother's actions were immature IMO.
Your niece is an adult and working and yet she buys no gifts for anyone. Are you suppossed to continue buying for her all her life?

 

[momx2]

To answer the OP's question, No, we don't. We only buy for the young nieces and nephews. We don't buy for the adult nieces and nephews.
DH's youngest brother has very young kids, 3 and 4 years old and his sister has a 10 year old. All the other nieces and nephews are grown up.

I don't see anything wrong with your decision and DH's brother's actions were immature IMO.
Your niece is an adult and working and yet she buys no gifts for anyone. Are you suppossed to continue buying for her all her life?

This is how I feel. I don't know why she thinks she doesn't have to get anyone anything. I don't expect a present, but she could pick something small up for my kids. At this rate I'll be buying for her until she is at least 33, since my youngest is 5 with her doing nothing in return. We are not close and she never communicates with us and barely speaks to us on Christmas.

I felt really bad for my DH. His family is not close at all. One other sister who barely speaks to anyone in the family and his parents are just odd. Then his brother calls him on Christmas night and does this. Wasn't a great way to end Christmas.

I do see both sides of the gift issue and don't know what I'll do next year. But I really think BIL should have never called DH and upset him on Christmas night. Thanks for all the replies.

 

[froglady]

I don't mind if the aunts/uncles stop giving gifts at a certain age...as long as they clue me in, too.

When DD went off to college (but came home at Christmas) one SIL stopped giving her a gift because "we don't send gifts once they go off to college." That's fine, but perhaps she should have mentioned it when HER children went off several years earlier. I continued to send them presents until they graduated and were working or in grad school.

Now this year, 13 year old DS did not get a gift from them. DD is 23, so was already used to only her little brother getting a gift so it wasn't an issue of leaving her out.

Apparently there is another unknown family rule that hasn't been shared with the only SIL? (DH has 4 sisters, 0 brothers) DS either hasn't noticed, or just hasn't said anything, about the omission.

It's not that he wants or needs anything from them, but it's the wondering 'why" he didn't get anything that bothers me. I don't mind having a cut off, as long as it's mentioned BEFORE Christmas morning.

 

[zalansky]

I stopped sending money this year to my 4 nephews amd 1 niece...because since they turned 12 all they wanted was cold hard cash. To me cash is impersonal and now they are all adults aged 18, 20, 20, 22, 23. Exactly how long am I supposed to keep sending money to these "kids"? I love them all dearly but distance keeps us from being close. I now have two kids of my own so we spend alot of money there. I told my sisters up front this year I was stopping sending money but in the future if we are together we can maybe do a gift EXCHANGE....and pick a name. I was with one niece and nephew this year due to illness of my father so I did buy them gifts but that was because we were together. Arbitrarily sending money to working adults just does not sit well with me. I would NEVER expect them to send my grown kids anything if the situation was reversed.

 

[Sinderelli]

Yes I do. There all I have left as I am the last in my family. In fact I just bought them all New Orleans Saints tee-shirts for XMAS. They live in Virginia and cant wait to get them. It was expensive to buy 9 tees but what the heck, im there Aunt and they are worth it.

We had a New Orleans Saints filled Christmas too!!! DS7 is a fanatic- he received the Saints rug for his bedroom (the one that looks like a football field) and has been reenacting every play from Sunday's game!!

Miami---- The Saints are Comin'!!!!!

 

[IWantMyDVC]

In my DH family, the grandchildren (aka nieces and nephews) get presents until they are 21. Three are still "believers" When they are 21 they go into the pollyanna with the adults and names get drawn, so they still get one present.

In my family (much, much larger), the for the nieces and nephews under 18, names are put in a hat and each couple takes one. There are no "believers" left. No gifts over 18. (I have 5 brothers and sister, all married with kids (nieces and nephews - many married or with significant others); and, this past year, my first great/grand niece!!).

Just a couple of ideas on how other folks handle it. It is just too cost prohibitive to buy gifts for everyone - I would have to buy an additional 41 presents - my budget just can't do that!

 

[MareQ]

Here's the deal.... This year and last year, me and DH did not buy for his brother's daughter she is 21 years old, not in school and working full time. She also lives 3 hours away with her mother. We only see her once a year, at Christmas. She does not buy presents for anyone. We buy for DH's brother and his younger son and his brother buys for us and our 2 young DDs.

Nothing was said, but we just received a phone call from DH's brother wanting to know why we didn't buy for his daughter. My DH told him she was an adult, etc. His brother hung up on him. If she was in school I would still buy for her or if we had a relationship. But I feel she is an adult now and don't buy for her because we have no connection. I feel bad for my DH. What do you guys think?

I can understand him being upset if you have bought for her every other year and just stopped without explaining why.

 

[froglady]

I can understand him being upset if you have bought for her every other year and just stopped without explaining why.

I wouldn't call, but I would still wonder why the OP had stopped sending a gift.

DH and I are the youngest in our respective families, and also had a "late" baby, so our children are 7- 20 years younger than their cousins. I feel as if I gave gifts to their children for years, but my children have been cut off due to some unwritten, undiscussed (with DH & I) rules.

Believe me when I say that it is NOT a financial issue; these folks are millionaires. They have no financial responsibilities to children or aged parents (all deceased) and live a life that most of us can only dream about...and DH and I aren't exactly poor ourselves.

 

[RadioNate]

I wouldn't buy for the brother's son and NOT buy for his daughter. It's either all the kids in the family or none -- age wouldn't play into it.

This was my thought....reguardless of ages buying for one of his children and not the other looks bad. 21 may be an adult but I know at that age I wasn't totally self sufficiant.

I also wouldn't go to a holiday celebration and not having something for everyone, even if it was something really small.

There are probablly some other issues with her and her dad and 'family' since she lives so far away. She likely already feels disconnected and seeing her brother get something and not her was probablly upsetting.

I don't think stopping at a certain age if there are lots of neices and nephews is a problem at all as long as everyone was on the same page about the 'rules.' That clearly wasn't the case here.

FWIW - I'm 31 and DH, DS and I get presents from my aunts and uncles...cousins too!

However, on my DHs side there are tons of neices and nephews and cousins so they do 2 'grab bags' rather than buy things individually.