We just got a 2012 Highlander. My neighbor has a 10 y.o. one and won't get a new car because she loves hers so much, even at 10 years old. We keep cars a long time, so I hope I am as satisfied.
We did seriously consider the Pilot, but I am short and if you're short, you'll whack your knees/shins in a Pilot once you scoot the seat up. So that ruled it out. The salesman said he heard that same complaint a lot from short women. I had a friend with a barely used Enclave and they liked it, but hardly had time to drive it before they moved overseas and had to sell the car. So I can't tell you much about it.
No joke, I looked at vehicles for almost a year before settling on the Highlander. I have always driven small cars, so moving to a crossover was going to be a big adjustment for me. I had to feel comfortable driving and parking it. Then there's the issue of whether it's comfy for a short person. I had to have good visibility. Comfortable seats. Dependability.
There are only 3 of us in our family, so we didn't NEED a 3rd row, but I figured once DD hits jr. high, I will often have several girls in my car at once. And when family comes to visit, we either have to take 2 cars or rent a bigger one if more than 5 of us want to go anywhere. So the 3rd row allowed us the option of carrying more people, fitting in a lot more luggage, more groceries, etc. I like that I just push a button on the remote to raise or lower the back door. I can open the back window only if I want and leave the back door closed. Yes, the 3rd row has split seats now. DD sits in the 2nd row and took out the middle section, so that row consists of 2 seats with armrests now. That row is very versatile. The car will carry 7 pretty easily and if one person is a baby in a carseat, I could fit 8 in it.
The level we got comes with a moonroof, which DD loves and which means nothing to me.

They ran a sale on the DVD system and she has DVD players in the headrests now, so she is happy. She has her own A/C controls, so both of us are happy. It came with 2 free months of satellite radio, which we have found we like and we plan to continue the service. It's easy for me to drive, pretty easy to park and I am pleased with it.
I think that the top rated crossovers are all good choices and it just boils down to features, cost, what is comfortable for your body, which seat configuration works best for your family, etc. There is no ONE best choice.
Good luck.