Does anyone have experience with Competitive Dance

[desamnik]

A little history, my dd is 8, and is on a competitive dance team, 2nd year. They started classes 3 weeks ago. The teachers are constantly picking 4 girls to "show" the others what they want them to do, same 4 girls all the time. My dd and her friend (neither are one of the 4) came out of dance saying they are just the background in dance, are invisible, and that the teacher said we want the girls that are enthusiastic and bubbly in the front, and those 4 girls are put their once again. To make matters worse 3 of the 4 car pool with my dd and her friend since we are all in the same town.

When we went into this type of dance, i just thought "team", and never anticipated the girls being pitted against each other.

Is this normal for a dance team, i hate for the girls to be made to feel less than someone else, so blatanty. I do understand that some people are more talented than others, and others have to work harder to accomplish the same thing.

I don't really know what I am asking other than is this a healthy environment for my daughter? And also is this the MO for all competitive dance teams?

TIA

 

[dodukes]

My friend's son is 16 and dances competitively. I don't know about pitted against each other but each routine has its people that are more prevalent than others. For whatever the reason, others have a lot of people and no one stands out. Maybe for this particular routine those 4 girls are just better to be up front? Does this keep happening over and over on different routines/performances? Then if so yes I don't think its super healthy but I think that you at some point have to teach kids that they are not the best at everything, however I think the teacher flaunting the other 4 all the time is unacceptable.

 

[Imzadi]

I wasn't on any competitive dance teams, but my dance classes were a bit competitive in nature. The best dancers always danced up front & center, near the mirror. It's the nature of dance classes and of being a performer.

That worked out fine for me. For those of us slow in learning the steps, we got to watch & copy (mimic) the teacher OR one of the better dancers in front of us during the routines.

Believe me, you do NOT want people behind you when you do not know the dances very well and they try to copy you and half the room makes your mistakes. Or they blatantly see your mistakes as they are doing it right behind you.

That being said, if your DD doesn't like the class, find another one, even if it's not competitive. Dance should be enjoyable and FUN. Doesn't sound like it is for DD. That could kill her enjoyment of dancing for a lifetime.

 

[desamnik]

Thanks for your response, yes the four are front and center for every dance, tap, jazz, ballet and hiphop....

I do understand that some people are better than others at things and my daughter gets that also, me and the other mom feel as though our daughters are getting hurt by this, and that is so not what we signed up for.

We consider ourselves lucky that they have each other and can at least vent to each other.

There are 14 girls total on the team. I'd like to know what the other girls think, I am wondering if our girls are more affected by it because 3 of the 4 are their "friends"....

 

[Imzadi]

Is it worth the trouble? Are there other dance classes you can take them to? Is DD intent on being a competitive dancer?

I loved ballet. Went 3 times a week in high school. Then in college, I signed up for ballet and a super advanced ballet class I shouldn't have. The competitiveness, narcissism and snootiness did me in. I didn't dance for years after that class. The only dance classes I will take now are emotionally safe, non-shaming, adult only, dance classes.

Girls are insecure at that age. The narcissistic ones, especially so. They EAT more insecure and less polished girls alive. Of COURSE they are your DD & friend "friends." BECAUSE they always get to talk about and show off how much better they are and make the comparisons obvious.

Does your DD really need that? Really it's only dance class. The blow to self esteem, feeling gawky and less then, last longer than class ever will. It doesn't matter what the other girls think. It's affecting your DD. That is enough.

 

[DisGirlAllie]

A little history, my dd is 8, and is on a competitive dance team, 2nd year. They started classes 3 weeks ago. The teachers are constantly picking 4 girls to "show" the others what they want them to do, same 4 girls all the time. My dd and her friend (neither are one of the 4) came out of dance saying they are just the background in dance, are invisible, and that the teacher said we want the girls that are enthusiastic and bubbly in the front, and those 4 girls are put their once again. To make matters worse 3 of the 4 car pool with my dd and her friend since we are all in the same town.

When we went into this type of dance, i just thought "team", and never anticipated the girls being pitted against each other.

Is this normal for a dance team, i hate for the girls to be made to feel less than someone else, so blatanty. I do understand that some people are more talented than others, and others have to work harder to accomplish the same thing.

I don't really know what I am asking other than is this a healthy environment for my daughter? And also is this the MO for all competitive dance teams?

TIA

I've been on a competition team since I was 8 (15 now) and this is my second year co-teaching. I can honestly tell you that this is definitely a competitive sport more than a team one. But, they should do auditions to get onto the CT right? So if she wasn't good, she wouldn't have made it. Make sure that she knows that. Confidence is a big part of this sport. I wouldn't go as far as to say it is unhealthy, but it's not the best. Does your daughter seem shy? I hate to say it, but maybe she just needs to come out of her shell a little bit. If this teacher is anything like I am, all I want from my students is for them to try and actually know the dance. I'm more inclined to put the girls in the front who really know the dance and put the more bubbly girls who don't know it as well in the back. Technique scores higher with judges than personality.

 

[janette]

The best dancers will be front and center, it's the nature of dance. The rest of the dancers are important but especially a competitive team will put the best ones in front. If it's important for your DD to be the best than put her in another class where she can be. My DD did dance for years, she wasn't one of the best dancers some of the time and sometimes she had to weigh being challenged in classes to being one of the best dancers in the class. Both have advantages and the kids know who's best in the classes even without the teachers saying much at all.

 

[KiminChicago]

DD just joined a new studio this year. At her previous studio, DD was one of the dancers who was always in the front. There were only 6 dancers on the competitive team, so even though DD was only 10, she was dancing with girls as old as 18. Their coach used DD a lot because the other girls could lift her and toss her around easily.

When we moved to this new studio, DD auditioned for the competitive team and made it. I was worried about what her experience would be like with the new team so we discussed ahead of time what her expectations were. When I pointed out that she would probably not be treated like a "star" like she was at her previous studio, she just looked at me and said "I don't care about being a star, I just want to dance." Fortunately the dance coach at the new studio believes in giving everyone a chance at being in front, so their competition dance involves a few formation changes. We're also lucky in that all the girls are very supportive of each other -- I listened in on the lecture the coach gave them at their first class and she told them that if she ever heard one of the dancers complain about someone else or put them down, the girl complaining would be off the team. The studio has even won awards for their sportsmanlike conduct.

You may want to look around for a different studio -- the situation you're describing doesn't sound like much fun for your DD.

 

[dislaney]

I think most studios are going to put the better dancers front and center for the majority of a dance. Our experience was that some studios are better at choreographing so everyone gets a little time to be center-front. I would check around if your daughter is unhappy at this studio.

 

[Dancemom03]

I'd worry more about the blow to her self-esteem b/c besides feeling good about themselves, dancers need to radiate confidence in front of the judges. As others have pointed out, not being in the front isn't always a bad thing, especially if faced with especially difficult/critical judges. If your instructor allows the girls to listen to the judges commentary tapes, or read judges comments, you might discretely point out to your daughter that the mistakes often noted are frequently seen in those closest to the judges. There's a small, very small, measure of security sometimes for those in the back.
Dance tends to be very political at that age too, and sometimes there's little you can do to change that besides switching studios. Over the years I've noticed that, like many other sports, the snowflake of that "squeaky-wheel" parent with the open checkbook will often get the better roles.

Technique is a biggie, but something easily worked on if that's the problem. Can your daughter take a few private lessons? Perhaps even privates aimed at perfecting a solo for the spring regionals? The excitement of choosing her own music & costume, practicing, and competing only against her own personal best in the solo spotlight should make the few "center-stage-stars" seem much less important once competition season starts gearing up.

I'd also suggest entering the photogenic & costume categories at competitions even if she doesn't have her own solo. Photogenic and costume categories are often overlooked by the majority of participants and can be a great boost to self esteem without costing a lot to enter, or drawing a lot of attention to her in the event she doesn't win.
Could you and your DD work on getting some great head shots now to have one ready maybe? I've found the recognition from these relatively minor awards doesn't go unnoticed in the politics of competition teams and the individual confidence gained from these small "special" awards helps immensely whether the instructors/director notice or not...

 

[disneydance]

I did competitive dance for 4 years was pretty good at what I did got first on my solo's in regionals a couple of times etc... And now I do a national performing team I would say this is VERY common. Even in my performance team there has always been 2 favorites who ALWAYS get solo's in all the dances and and are the favorites one could say well there seniors but it's been this way for years when they were just freshman they were treated this way also there's 6 other seniors who are frown in the background I'm only a junior so I will get my light next year when they go off to college but I don't find it fair to all the other seniors in there shadow and there really not better they just have bigger heads than the other girls that's all.

 

[bdoyledimou]

DD is in Jazz, Tap and Muscial Theater all Large Lines (12+ Dancers)
I am biased because my DD (10) is one of the "upfront" dancers. BUT she wasnt always...

She started last years season in the back row. At try outs, she was a maybe ,but one of the other girls got into a car accident, and my girl moved into her place.

The girls in the front had been there for a few years. The coach knew them. She trusted them and was confident in their ability, but as the season went on she moved to the middle lines, and to the front right, and finally to the front center.

She's the showcase dancer on her team/bracket in all three diciplines again this year, but she knows she will have to work hard to stay in that spot.

She has moved from the three diciplines to 6(adding hip hop, contemporary and a solo Musical Theater, plus ballet but not competitive) and even though she is in a cast (1 more week!!) she is keeping up.

If you want everyone to get a turn, take her out of comp. It's competitive because it is well, competitive. It's not recreational feel good about dance time. It's make an impression, promote your studio, and best foot, and daner forward.

 

[superme80]

I competed one season, but I have danced for about 10 years and yes this is pretty normal. I would definitely talk to your daughter if she wants to continue with this studio.

 

[RockAndRollBallerina]

I've been dancing since I was 3, in 21 now in the professional world of performing and dancing.

As a dancer myself its a weekly competition in class to out do the other dancers in class in order to come out on top, rather its a class that goes and competes with other teams, or just a class that performs once a year in the recital. So yes, this is completely normal.

If your daughter wishes to continue to compete you need to make her realize that this sort of thing will be on going. If thats not what she wants find a studio in the area that just has kids in it for the love of dance and showing their skills off yearly in the form of an annual recital. There is a studio for everyone on all parts of the spectrum, from the just for fun studios, to the ones with pre-professional programs in them.

 

[desamnik]

Thank you everyone for your responses. You have given me much insight.

I have talked to dd and she doesn't mind not being one of the go to girls, and not being in the front/center of dances. She says she knows she is good at what she does, she may not pick new steps up as quickly as some of the others, but she does pick them up and then works on them.

I guess when I heard "competitive dance" i thought competitive w/ OTHER dance teams, not competitive with your own and also with your own dance school. This is a learning experience for us, and as long as my dd is ok with it, I am also. She does feel like she is in the back ground, and sometimes feels like a background person, but knows she isn't holding her team back either. She is good, she knows her dances and doesn't make mistakes.

We drop the girls off at the back door of the school and they are go in on their own. The information from the school is directed towards everyone, schedules, costume balance payments, etc. We don't get any individual feedback on progress, and their are no scheduled "watching" days, so we have no idea what is going on in the 6 hours a week she spends there.

So the other aspect is communication....

 

[bdoyledimou]

I guess when I heard "competitive dance" i thought competitive w/ OTHER dance teams, not competitive with your own and also with your own dance school. This is a learning experience for us, and as long as my dd is ok with it, I am also. She does feel like she is in the back ground, and sometimes feels like a background person, but knows she isn't holding her team back either. She is good, she knows her dances and doesn't make mistakes.

Every team has lines/strings. The "A" Team, the "B" Team and the benchwarmers.

Dance is no different

Your daughter has the right attitude though, and just like in acting, everyone has a part to play. As she progresses and advances, she will also move up the line!