does anyone else have a dd who DOESN'T look her age?

[curlyjbs]

I am at a loss! My dd will be 12 june 1st. She is in the 6th grade but looks like she's ready for HS. Not that she dresses any older than she should or wears makeup (well, lipgloss only) but she is well......ummm.....VERY developed with a drop dead figure. Most people gasp and say things like "she's ONLY 11? and teen boys EVEN grown men check her out. I get soooo mad because she insists on wearing things that really draw attention (the wrong kind) to her. She does this innocently - wants to wear the outfits she sees in magazines and in the "cool" stores. She really doesn't understand the difference between good attention and bad. She's just like any other preteen girl.........caught in the middle of the hormone rally. I just dont want her to be taken advantage of.

The other night I almost went through the roof. DD and the neighborhood kids were on the trampoline. Now, dd is a gymnast (a good one too) and she does like to show off a little. Well there were a few boys 12 & 13 yr. olds who kept telling her to keep jumping. (you know why!) Well they just kept staring and laughing and making rude gestures and all the while dd is oblivious! I wanted to go out there and put an end to it but I didnt want to embarress her. Later I did tell her what was going on and she told me I was crazy. I know she likes the attention......but it's the wrong kind. i want her to be self assured and confident but I am so worried about her! She is a smart kid (gifted and talented programs at school, honor roll etc.) but not "street smart". What am I gonna do with her???


curly

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Originally posted by curlyjbs
What am I gonna do with her???

Buy her a thong?

I'm JUST KIDDING! No one flame me!

I was like your DD. I hit puberty between 4th and 5th grades. And I was young for my grade. Guys thought I was older. Lots of attention. I liked the attention, but I would never have thought of doing anything with a boy. I just liked to flirt.

Does she have a good relationship with her Father? I would really try to encourage the 2 of them to spend one on one time together. Make sure she is getting that attention from him so she doesn't seek it else where.

I have really been stressing this with my DH (even though my DD is only 2). He is really nervous about the teenage years, but I always remind him that his relationship with her is SO important! And they really need to set the foundation now.

 

[Jeafl]

I have the same problem as you. My older daughter is going to be 15 on Sunday, but she looks like she is 21. She's 5'8" and 124 lbs. Even when whe was a toddler people thought she was older, probably because she was always tall for her age.

We were in Subway awhile back, waiting in line when this table of guys in their late 20's/early 30's were eyeing her up and down and nudging each other. I wanted to go over to their table and poke their eyes out! People who don't know her usually guess her age to be around 20.

 

[curlyjbs]

Thong! that's all I need.

She has a great relationship with DH!

~ We have 3 dd's and he always says it's off to NUN school for all of them!!! How will he pay for it? Dividends from all the tampax stock he's invested in!! Yep, my house just ooozes with PMS! ~


curly

 

[chell]

Keep the lines of communication open between the two of you. I looked much older than my age at 12 too, but I didn't dress in any way to bring attention to it because I was too embarassed by the attention I was getting from men. At the beach I had a security guard trying to get me to go out to a bar with him that night. He about died when my mom told him I was only 12.

You will get through it. Just give her lots and lots of love and attention at home so she doens't try to get attention from the boys.

 

[CPM]

If you asked my DD she would say your DD is lucky!! Mine is 16 and looks 11! Sometimes they even hand her children's menus in restaurants. She is also smart but not street smart which is even a problem when you don't look older.
Does she wear a lot of make-up? Maybe you can put restrictions on the makeup & clothing?? Not sure, or just explain to her what the guys are looking at.

 

[curlyjbs]

CPM: She's not allowed to wear makeup....just lipgloss and she dresses nice....not conservative, not "slutty" just like all the other girls I see at the school - some of them look there age some don't. Unfortunetly mine is one that doesn't.



chell: LOL love your beach story. Last summer we went to the beach with my Mom. DD wanted to take a walk and mom spent the whole time staring down the boys and chanting "she's only 11, she's ONLY 11" ahhh..memories.


My other dilema is that most restaurants etc. offer deals for 12 and under. You can see where this is going. It's embarrassing for all of us when we have to argue this point. Geez, maybe i should carry a copy of her birth cert.

How will we ever survive the teen years!!!!!

curly

 

[Feralpeg]

My DD has the opposite problem. Although she is 16, she is usually mistaken for much younger. She gets really mad when they try to give her children's menus in restaurants.

 

[NMAmy]

Oh, sheesh, I understand completely. My 13 year old DD looks much older. She's very tall (almost as tall as me!) and thin and beautiful. Thank God, she is NOT interested in boys. Every day when we get home from work, there is a group of boys from the neighborhood outside asking us if she's home. She's told me before just to tell them that she has to do her homework. DH practically snarls at them. They're all her age, though, not older.

I did notice when we were at WDW on vacation in March that MEN were looking at her. I step between them. CM's in stores kind of flirt with her and I just do the talking like maybe they were trying to start a conversation with me and diffuse it that way! Most of the time she doesn't realize but when she does it really embarasses her. I'm glad that she's still a big kid and that all the attention doesn't go to her head.

I really have no advice for you but I can sure relate. I'd love to know if any other moms have some advice!

 

[Keli]

I think your dd will need some extra vigilance from you and your dh to keep anyone from taking advantage of her until she old enough and mature enough to handle all the attention. It sounds like your dd is developing into a beautiful young lady which is a good thing, even if it did come a little earlier than expected.

 

[kimber79]

I think alot of preteens, for whatever reason, look much older than they actually are. My family owns/operates a family entertainment center, and we have a lot of school groups come in. There are many many young girls that you see, and make you think.........why are they here with the little kids ~ when in fact they are one of the *little kids*!

My dd (18) is just the opposite. She is 4'11" ~ 92 lbs. fully dressed! She always has people thinking she is 14.......she hates it. I keep telling her "honey, some day you will really appreciate it"!!

 

[Dax]

I am 26 and look like I am 17...I get carded and such every where I go.

 

[piglet too]

My advice is to continue to talk to her about it. If she keeps a close relationship with you and her Dad, that should keep her "level-headed" I think.

I was the same way when I was younger. I'll never forget being in San Diego and all the sailors flirting with me at the pool of our hotel. The one guy asked me who I was there with and upon learning my parents he made a comment about how that was a bummer being stuck with parents when I was "what 21-22?" His jaw dropped when I told him I was 15! He instantly became my "big bother" the rest of the week (he had a sister who was my age) and the rest of the guys stayed clear of me on his orders. Then for my 16th birthday, my sister got me a shirt that said "Jail bait by a few years, eyes off" and made me wear it when I went out with her and her boyfriend.

 

[CPM]

Originally posted by curlyjbs

How will we ever survive the teen years!!!!!

curly

I ask myself this on a daily basis! LOL

 

[rbuzzotta]

Teen years!!! UGH!!

DD #1 is almost 13 but looks 16 ish!! Talk about a body! Of course she wants to dress like most of her peers but DH is a "hilter" when it comes to that!! She has to get his approval on her clothing!! Yeah! Takes the heat off me.....

I, too, don't know how to survive these teen years and I have 2 DD's following right behind.............

Keep the communication open at all times........

 

[curlyjbs]

We were in Wet Seal at the mall last night and this women starts asking dd a bunch of questions about sizes - dd's just looking at her blankly and the women mumbled something about "the help" and stormed past me muttering "don't bother asking HER anything.....she's too good to help the like of us!"


DD and I got a good laugh out of that one.


I guess were gonna take these teen years one LOOOOOOng day at a time.

curly

 

[slo]

My DD is not as old as others on this thread, but she doesn't look her age and it is starting to hurt her self esteem.

She is 5 1/2 and has the appearance of a 3 year old. She is very "petite" for her age. She is 41" and 32 lbs. She still wears 3T and some 4T clothes and a size 8 1/2 or 9 shoe. She has been wearing the same clothes now for about 3 years.

So many people come to her and say "How old are you, don't tell me, your 3." I immediately tell them she is almost 6 and then they pursue to say to her "You are so tiny!!" This just burns me up when people do this to her. So I say, "Yes, she is very petite for her age." I wish people would not say this to her. She crys and asks me why she is so small compared to the other kids her age. I just tell her she is special is her own way, and she will have her own special set of talents.

She has been in gymnastics since she was 2, and I believe she is very good at it and will be successful because of her "petite" structure.

 

[FINFAN]

My DD is about to turn 14, starting HS next year. She conctantly gets asked if she is in the 6th grade at school. In public she is thought of as even younger. At 4'8" and 67 undeveloped pounds...most of her "friends" have left her in the dust. She is not at the same stage socially as them either. Meaning she has interests other than boys-clothes-boys-make up-boys-money-boys-parties-BOYS! She just doesn't get why they don't like her for her...welcome to the cruel world.