Does anyone else have a "busy" spouse?

[RadioNate]

DH is a great husband (usually) and I knew what I was getting into before we got married but sometimes his busy schedule just gets to me. I know it wears on him too but I was wondering if anyone else had a busy spouse.

He's in a 24/7 business so there aren't really ever any days off. Most days he leaves about 645-7am to go to the office and is home by 6pm. Saturday's are usually free and he does a morning shift on Sunday's where he leaves around 830 am and is home by 1230. 7 or 8 days a month he works at the Hockey games so on those days he's gone from 7am unil 10pm. Then there are weeks like this one.

I got home from Chicago on Friday, he was at hockey. I helped a friend with her garage sale sat morning and he had hockey saturday nights. He did his show sun morning and we had plans with friends sunday night. Monday was halloween, tuesday was the 1st NBA game so he had to be there to help his staff, wednesday was hockey, yesterday a job candidate came intown so there was a work dinner, tonight he's taking job candidate to the NBA game, tomorrow is hockey again and then sunday he has his show...and so it goes.

I'm not really complaining too much as I know that this week is crazier than normal but we have several weeks like this until the new year.

I just wondered more if I was the only spouse home alone (well with DS and the cats!). I have no plans, no real commitments and pretty much nothing to do this week while DH is over committed! Next week I'm definately planning a girls night out!

 

[MickeysMommy]

Well, SO doesn't work 24/7 but he is always busy doing something. He likes to putter and I think that's ok as long as he makes time for me.

 

[Galahad]

DW works about 100 hours a week - every week. I have a normal 50 hour a week job. DS#1 has (finally) moved out on his own. DS#2 (15 y.o.) and I therefore keep very busy ourselves, pretty much filling up any time we'd be missing DW with our own activities. We feel pretty lucky.

 

[Karel]

My husband just worked two weeks straight without a break. Most of those, except for two days, were 12 hour shifts. Things are a bit stressful around here.

The best cure is to go out and do your own thing.

Can you go with him to some events? Communicate to him that it's important to try and do a couple of things together during the week.

 

[offwegotoneverland]

Nope it's me that's normally over scheduled..typical aprox 60-80 hours a week but currently relocating for business which means dh has dog ds and everything else pretty much full time for at least 3 months.

Yikes! I'd better find him a pretty special christmas gift.

 

[jedi_librarian]

Schedule date nights. Seriously! Look at the calendar and try to find a time when the two of you can do something together. It gives you something to look forward to and it makes it even more special.
Maybe you can schedule a "night off" too - designate a night of the week (weekly, monthly or whatever) that neither of you make other plans for.

And go out with friends! Girls nights are fun!

Believe me, I can relate! My DH has his 9-5 job and then comes home and works on his "other" job of costuming and it gets frustrating at times. But we come up with an agreement that for the most part works. Including date nights.

 

[sue1013]

DH's schedule from August through end of November is crazy too. He coaches HS Football, camp and practice start in August which means he leaves for his job at 5 am returns from practice about 7 pm. Until school and games start in September then on Fridays he won't get home until about 11 depending how far away the game is. Saturday mornings he spends at practice. DS now plays college football games are on Saturdays again depending on how far away the games are we don't get home until that evening. Sunday he usually goes in to work to catch up on things he didn't get to during the week. If the team ends up in the playoffs this schedule is continued for a couple weeks to beginning of December. Then finally vacation!!!!

 

[tandrjohn]

Before kids, yes, both DW and I were both working at least 60-70 hours a week and it seemed like we hardly ever saw each other.

2 kids later, DW and I work as little as possible (35-45 hours a week each). We are still busy but mostly with "family" activities.

We learned to set our priorities after our kids were born.

 

[CheshireVal]

I know how you feel. DH is finishing up school and also working 3 (part time) jobs. In between his late classes and varying shifts at work, I feel like whole weeks can go by where I hardly see him at all. He leaves at 6am and doesn't get home until 8 or 9 on more weekdays than not.

And on weekends.... well, that's when *I'm* busy because of debate tournaments (I'm a coach).

 

[kimwim8]

My DH works a lot. He plays basketball one night a week, and besides that, we just have a very busy schedule with the kids and family and normal stuff.

DD, DS and I have a lot of time to ourselves, and we try to make the best of it. Although I do feel bad that DH misses out. Hopefully one day soon his workload will lighten enough that he can work less hours.

 

[Bob Slydell]

During busy season (typically Jan-April), DW can work upwards of 80-90 hours a week, 6-7 days a week, so I spend a lot of time home with the boys, since my schedule's typically more normal (e.g. a 50 hour work week, with some work at home).

Fortunately, during slower times, DW has more flexibility to be able to take some days off or have short days so she's able to spend more time with the kids then.

 

[kimber79]

I don't have a husband or SO........but feel I am a VERY BUSY person! I work two jobs, am a mom of two and a grandma! My full time job I work about 45 hours a week, my part time job (which also is at hockey in the winter at a race track in the summer!) I work on average about 20 hours a week, then I have my son who plays hockey and taking him back and forth to practices and games is another 10 - 15 hours a week....then just your ordinary errands that seem to pop up take up about 3-5 hours a week.

No wonder I am always running on empty!!

 

[RadioNate]

I wish DH could work less, and I know he does too. He has 2 assistants and they are busier than he is.

I do have the oppertunity to tag along some. It's hard with DS, who's 4, because it requires getting a babysitter or brining him along. We have no family here so I can't count on a grandparent for last minute sitting and I hate doing that too our friends (nearly all of which are childless). A lot of the dinners are at nicer places (read, not kid friendly) and for the hard ticket events it's hard to get 2 additional tickets so DS can attend too.

I know I need to get my own 'life' it's just hard because of the babysittings issues. Ds goes to bed at 8pm on school nights so if I do something with him we need to be home early. We've been in 5 states in 6 years and with each move it is getting harder and harder to get my own things.

I used to work in DH's industry so I know how it is. I would love to go back to work but since DH is the boss and I can't work for him there are really no jobs for me. Rivial companies won't hire me since I'm married to the boss at the competetion. I've sorta been frozen out and I'm not sure what else I'd like to do.

I was just wondering if I was alone. Sometimes it feels that way. Like everyone else's spouse is 9-5 and free weekends.