Does anyone else find this a little creepy for an adult to say?

[Kirby]

Definately, poor choice of words. I'd just keep my eyes and ears open.

One of my BIL's told me that my, then five year old, daughter had a cute bottom (he used another word). This was eight years ago. He's never married and we have always felt uncomfortable around him. He's one of those uncles that "tickle" his nieces and nephews far too much and too long. They tend to stay away from him. We've never left her in a situation where she has had to be alone with him.

I would trust your gut feelings. Maybe he did just use the wrong words but it's better safe than sorry.

 

[poohandwendy]

That was another thing I wondered about and something I think is more possible than the pedophile scenario that everyone jumps to. That's sad.

I just have to ask, what exactly should parents consider inappropriate enough to warrant the ole parental radar going up? Anyone have a specific list or should parents just trust everyone and hope for the best?

To all who feel it is 'sad' or 'unfair' to jump to conclusions, let's say the OP had a different ending to the story, let's say that she/he found out that this man tried to molest her son and then went on to say that he made this comment prior to that but didn't want to judge this guy so she/he never gave it another thought?

Noone is suggesting persecuting him, confronting him, having him investigated by the police or calling his place of employment. We are just saying, ''Hey, he acted in a way that made you feel uneasy...that is enough to keep an eye out. ''

 

[MinnieYC]

Originally posted by DisMN
That was another thing I wondered about and something I think is more possible than the pedophile scenario that everyone jumps to. That's sad.

Not everyone who found it creepy jumped to a pedophile scenario, and I really hope the man in this case had an honest slip of the tongue...but I do know that if I were with my nephew, and someone said he was going to be sexy when he got older, I'd immediately nod, make a half-smile, scoop up the boy, and take him somehwere else! Yes, everyone has a slip of the tongue, but most of us have probably never come close to making a statement that a young child is going to be "sexy." If the man did slip up, he should think before he talks next time.

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

Foot in mouth disease BUT trust your instincts. If commentator was poor in English the comment probably would have been discounted by OP.

Gavin de Becker has written 3 great books on trusting your instincts on when to worry and when to worry LESS.

The Gift of Fear- first book

Protecting the Gift- about children's safety

Fear Less-about Coping with Terrorism fears

I have a ds,11. I witnessed men trying to pick him up twice when he was 4 and 6. I know naked lust when i see it.

Once we had MAss registry started, found out we had 11(!) registered sex offenders in a town of 40 thousand with only the first stages of registration done. I would have guessed 11 for the whole state.

 

[DisMN]

Originally posted by poohandwendy
I just have to ask, what exactly should parents consider inappropriate enough to warrant the ole parental radar going up? Anyone have a specific list or should parents just trust everyone and hope for the best?

To all who feel it is 'sad' or 'unfair' to jump to conclusions, let's say the OP had a different ending to the story, let's say that she/he found out that this man tried to molest her son and then went on to say that he made this comment prior to that but didn't want to judge this guy so she/he never gave it another thought?

Noone is suggesting persecuting him, confronting him, having him investigated by the police or calling his place of employment. We are just saying, ''Hey, he acted in a way that made you feel uneasy...that is enough to keep an eye out. ''

No, people are just suggesting that they try looking up his name on the sex offender lists. If that isn't jumping to conclusions I don't know what is.

If it were me and someone said that in front of me about my child I wouldn't have hesitated to inquire further exactly what the person meant........no accusation, just politely ask the person to clarify how they meant what they said.

Yes, the man's words were off for sure...I never said they weren't, I'm just suggesting to be very careful that you aren't ruining someones life with a false accusation or attempts to "find out more" about an individual.

 

[CindyAnn]

Here in Ontario the Ontario Sex Offender Registry is not information that can be accessed by the general public. The information is for police officers and other members of justice services only.

I agree, Skywalker - that's creepy. I think you always, always have to trust the negative instincts you feel. I've drilled that into my children, too.

I don't think Skywalker was planning to ruin anyone's life over this, but extra caution seems like a good plan, and that seems to be what most people are suggesting.

(I'm still not sure why his English is suspect since he lives in Canada, though )

 

[poohandwendy]

No, people are just suggesting that they try looking up his name on the sex offender lists. If that isn't jumping to conclusions I don't know what is.

If that were invading his privacy, I would agree that it is wrong, but if his name is on a SO list, they have the right to know. If it is not, he would never even know they looked.

Since when it is it wrong to 'jump to conclusions' as long as you are not affecting another person by doing so? His choice of words is what precipitated the questioning of his character. Parents have a duty and responsibility to constantly keep their eyes out for potentially dangerous situations.

You still didn't answer my question, if you don't mind, ''what exactly should parents consider inappropriate enough to warrant the ole parental radar going up?'' Or are they to just ignore their gut feelings, lest they be considered 'jumping to conclusions'?

 

[eeyore kelly]

I'm just suggesting to be very careful that you aren't ruining someones life with a false accusation or attempts to "find out more" about an individual.

Here in Louisiana it is very easy to go to a web site and just "see" if that person is a sex offender. As a parent, I put in parent's names of new friends, school volunteers, etc. Anyone who could have contact with my children. As a Scout leader, I type in potential leaders and other volunteers. No one has ever found out that I have ran their name through that website. If it is available to you as a tool, I say use it! No one will ever be the wiser.

 

[lightningcoach]

As a person who works with children- it is in your right to know who is a sex offender. We print out the list and have it in our office. We minister to numerous children and families and do not want an unsafe person around our children.

That was an out of line comment and I would not let that person around your child.