Do your teens tell you

[mnrose]

Oh heck yeah. My DD tells me this routinely. LOL. But, then she still wants to sit next to me on the couch, and her hand will make it's way very close to mine. I know she loves me. Even in those moments where she doesn't like me too much. LOL.

 

[Jaya]

I remember when my daughter used to say "I can't wait to grow up and not have to do anything I don't want to do." I get tempted to ask her sometimes "how's that working out for ya?"

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Mine doesn't, but she's only 14. So, we'll see how it progresses. I don't think I ever said anything like that to my parents. I knew I had it pretty good

 

[wishesuponastar]

I think a lot of it has to do with the overall situation at hand. When they are frustrated with other things, home i where they can vent. When they feel like they have little or no privacy at home, or that they will be judged (even if you are not judging, they can feel like they will be) kids tend to lash out saying they can't wait to move. Most of the time it isn't directed personally at the parents, just the situation being that they need to grow, become independent (and may not realize that is actually happening) but are still teens who speak in short sentences lol. Also depends on personality too. Our DD (oldest) is very even keel, calm and prefers a simple lifestyle. She NEVER lashed out to us that she couldn't wait to move. Our DS on the other hand, is an adrenaline junkie, commuted to C.C. and has to be on the go 24/7, no sitting watching t.v. etc. He says all the tie he can't wait to move out. He usually says it when he is frustrated and bored, and cold, lol. He wants to live in AZ as he loves the heat and mountains and trails. Here, you have to drive at least 2+ hours to get to any open areas, and it is flat farm land and heat ? We are IL, not gonna happen lol. Hang in there OP, it's totally normal. Like you said, heat of the moment. I STILL feel that way myself sometimes, lol.

What a great post!! I do agree that teens need a place to vent. I will have to remember that for next time she lashes out.

 

[mjkacmom]

Don't get your hopes up. Dd18 was like that last year, went away to college in a typical dorm setting (2 to a room, bathroom down the hall), and she loved it, and rarely came home (40 minutes away). Hopefully, she'll do what DH and I did - move out if our parents homes within a year after graduating college.

 

[bjscheel]

Nope, I think DD16 would gladly stay here forever or until she gets married. DD13 has dreams of living somewhere more exotic but that is only because she wants to work in movies or something equally awesome, not because she can't wait to get away from us. She knows I would prefer to have my girls be a drive away (short drive preferably), not a flight away. She and I can butt heads just a little bit, but she has been checking herself on that lately and doing better.

They are like a PP said, the older one is very responsible and happy with a simple lifestyle; the younger one wants to be going and doing with friends, dreaming of a more glamorous life than rural Iowa.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I haven't heard that yet, but my response would be, "Go for it".

I moved out at 18 myself.

I think my kids know they need a way to support themselves, first. And that's in all likelihood not going to occur until after they complete college. Even then, it might be tough. Cost of living here is ridiculous now. Few, even in their 20s with degrees in hand, can afford to live completely on their own - more likely it's a bunch of roommates in a crappy apartment, or with a boyfriend or girlfriend or something, rent sharing being a necessity today.

 

[Newsies]

18-year-old here. My parents know that I can't wait to move out... only because I'm going to school in NYC it's my favorite city in the world. My dad calls me "street rat" because I go there so often. It doesn't offend them that I can't wait to leave and they can't wait to visit me

 

[Luv2Run]

I don't have children, but I used to say this to my mom all the time when I was 17, but that's because I had a plan. After graduation, I moved out at 17 (a month shy of 18), and never moved back. Fast-forward 13 years, and my two brothers (26 and 34) still live with her, and I bet she's wishing they had moved out, too!

 

[minkydog]

They can't wait to move out?

Our 17yo daughter has said this a few times after she doesn't get her way. I hope when she goes to college (she will live in a dorm) she will realize all we have done for her. While we aren't rich, we do provide the things she needs.

I guess I just have to realize teens can say things in the heat of the moment.

LOL, yes! And I said it to my own parents when I was in 12th grade. Senioritis, you know. it's Nature's way of getting our baby birds to leave the nest.

The good news is that they (and I!) eventually came around. In fact, we have DS28 living with us again since he went back to school and will probably have DD22 living with us later this summer while she works to save enough money to move into an apartment. They are both appreciative of what we do for them, much more than they did when they were hot-headed teens.

 

[MKMomma]

When my daughter says that, my reaction is ok, go for it. You can take your $200 in the bank and find a new place to live.

 

[minkydog]

No. My dd talks about when she moves out for college. I don't think it is in a negative tone. We have 4 kids (14-19) and she is the only girl. She did tell dh that hates him one time. It was the first I hate you of the house. I later had a talk with her. I think because it wasn't said to me I was able to remain calm and not be upset. I think the biggest thing I told her was that we have feelings too. How would she like it if it was said to her. She attempts to watch how she says things.
Dh likes to tell them all how they all are moving out at 18 anyway. Maybe they don't say it because they know he would say good.

Oh my goodness, I went through this with my oldest, DS 28, when he was about 15-17. He told me he hated me almost every day, and many times told me he wished I would wake up dead. Yeah. It was pretty hard to love him during that time, but somehow I did. And eventually things got better, to the point that he never leaves the house without giving us a hug, telling us where he's going, and saying "I love you."

 

[Art 1]

They can't wait to move out?

Our 17yo daughter has said this a few times after she doesn't get her way. I hope when she goes to college (she will live in a dorm) she will realize all we have done for her. While we aren't rich, we do provide the things she needs.

I guess I just have to realize teens can say things in the heat of the moment.

They did yes, and it's normal.

 

[IndyRnRfan]

Yes. Our son who just turned 19 says this about every six months. Then we talk reality to him. We pay his phone, car insurance, food, room, gas, and all the amenities he enjoys under our roof as long as he is in college. If he moves out, he will become responsible for phone, insurance, food, room, and all the bills. We will still help with college but he wants to live on his own, he will become responsible on his own. Once he figured he didn't make enough money to support his "extras" he changes his mind.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Well, I never talked about moving out, but I could not wait to do it. And in all honesty, my life was/is tremendously better without my parents in it. After my first year of college, my parents insisted I move back home for the summer. I really didn't want to, but I did as they asked. By the end of that summer they told me not to come back again next year and were, in fact, not offended at my "I told you so!" Even today when I have to spend any extended amount of time with them (like the 5 vacation days we did in Florida several months back) I can't stand it.

DH left his toxic home at 17 and never went back.

Point is, some teens want to leave their parents, and are actually not being entitled, naive, sub-adults.

 

[minkydog]

No, I haven't heard that one yet, but lots of other remarks that break a mother's heart. The flip side, I've often thought, "I can't wait for xxxx to move out." Teens can really be difficult sometimes; I've got one that is particularly difficult, mean, hurtful, and unpleasant to be around these days, and it affects the entire family.

Giving you a hug, from one mom who has been in your shoes. It isn't easy. I hope it gets better for you. It did with mine, but not until he was about 21. The only piece of advice I could give you is just love him. Just. Love. Him. Take every opportunity to tell him that you love him. His mouth may be saying he hates you but his ears are listening.

 

[Hrhpd]

They can't wait to move out?

Our 17yo daughter has said this a few times after she doesn't get her way. I hope when she goes to college (she will live in a dorm) she will realize all we have done for her. While we aren't rich, we do provide the things she needs.

I guess I just have to realize teens can say things in the heat of the moment.

Perfectly normal. Don't take it personally and it does not mean they don't appreciate what you have done for them. You want a teen to be itching to experience adult life. It is how they finally break those apron strings. I would be more worried about the teen who has no desire to move out and plans on living in the basement till 50.

 

[powellrj]

Mine are still here! They have never been in any hurry to leave! I moved out at 18 and never went back. Well I did move back last year to care for my mom, but I don't count that!

DS came back after he graduated from college and brought lots of drama with him. DD moved back in this summer, and I enjoy her company, she is drama free and we do things together.

 

[wishesuponastar]

When my daughter says that, my reaction is ok, go for it. You can take your $200 in the bank and find a new place to live.

Your reply is priceless!! LOL

 

[midnightlouise]

My 15 year old son has mentioned moving out at some future point, but not in a negative way. I know I said it to my mom when I was a teen, and only now can I understand how hurtful that must have been. Hang in there, OP. I learned to appreciate my mom when I was in my 20s, and now I can't imagine a day going by where we don't talk.