Do your teens swear at home?

[TimeforMe]

Lately DS, who just entered high school, has begun using certain words as part of his every day vocabulary. For instance, instead of saying pain in the butt (like he used to), he'll now say pain in the ***. Not a real big deal, but it kind of makes me wince a little when he says it Same thing with DD. Both of them know better than to use really bad swears , but they will use the "s' word on occasion and a few others. I truly believe in choosing battles with our kids, and I don't want this to be a battle. They are both extremely respectful, great kids and I notice their friends use these words, too. So.....should I just let it go and not make a big deal of it.

Not to offend anyone, but parents of toddlers and younger children--no lectures please. Remember the adage of "until you've walked in my shoes...."

TIA!

 

[Beauty]

The big word in the 7th grade is SUCKS........This sucks and that sucks and I whince every time I hear it even though its not an "official" swear word.

I don't know........I honestly DON'T know. I'm definatly not going to lecture you becuase I know I'm going to be there sooner or later. I'd like to think that I can say to him, I would rather you NOT use those words at home and he will mind me but a few swear words isn't something I'm going to go balistic over.

 

[powellrj]

I also hate the word sucks, and it seems to be the official middle school work to discribe everything. I am also a pick your battle kind of mom. I will tell them I don't like it, and there are better words to use, but I don't punish them over their choice of words. My oldest DS is 21 and its just a battle I chose not to fight.

 

[Tiggeroo]

been there done that. My teens all use those borderline not really swear words like sucks, friggin', crap, etc. I don't mind but I don't like there regular conversation laced with them. I told my guys early that certain words are only for certain places. Like if your out with the guys playing football and using some crude language no biggie. But you should watch your language around ladies ( I know some use worst words but I want them to be gentleman), and older persons. Be respectful of places and times. My kids aren't saints but so far they seem to be respecting my wishes on this. I never hear really stong stuff, even if they don't know i'm listening, at home. I would rather they let loose with a doozy cause they slammed their finger in the door then use those borderline words all thie time.

 

[sue1013]

You are so right that you've got to pick your battles with teens!! This is one I choose not to battle over. I figure if that's the worst thing they do I am one very very lucky parent.

 

[binny]

no lecture from me Im sure some day I will field that same battle.

But Ill tell you,I was NEVER allowed to swear at home! But then again my parents never swore anyway so I wasnt used to it at all. I swore like a sailor outside of home though

Im so glad I have been able to ( mostly) get away from that.

 

[dg39]

I have 2 college kids and when there home they don't say words that I don't like to hear. Once in a while, they do let it slip and I give them a look and they say "oops, sorry". But, thats at home, I can only imagine what they say outside the house, and that's ok, cause I don't hear it. But like another poster had said, its better to pick your battles and alittle slip up is fine. Most kids are good in general and there's soooo many other things they can be doing that are worse.

 

[Beth76]

Originally posted by TimeforMe
Not to offend anyone, but parents of toddlers and younger children--no lectures please. Remember the adage of "until you've walked in my shoes...."

Ha ha!! My 3 year old has started saying "Darn it". But, not that exact word. And "Oh, shoot", yes he says, "shoot" not the *other* word. It doesn't really bother me (I actually think it's sort of cute). These aren't really bad to me. He says it at appropriate times, like if he bumps into something or spills something. So, we just let it go and don't make a big deal of it. I haven't heard him say it in awhile.

I was a little worried when we went to visit my MIL. I remember her telling us that her other grandson said something sort of bad (I think it was g-d-it) and she smacked him across the face. He was probably 3 or 4 at the time. I definitely wouldn't let that fly and if she did that to my child it would be a VERY long time before she saw him again. Apparently my son did say it once, but she didn't hear him.

 

[DIZNYFAN]

Growing up I was allowed to swear at home but in public I knew better as some people do not care to hear it and it was not polite especially around strangers and we respected that.

 

[Mercy]

No my teens do not curse at home, and as a matter of fact they give me a disapproving look when I do.

They do say, "sucks", "freakin", and "gay"... eveything they don't like is "gay"...."oh that is so gay", etc. I really hate the sucks and gay thing, so when they use it, I tell them to "Shut the **** up!"

 

[CyranoJones]

My daughter is in college and will sometimes swear in front of me when I'm visiting. She still says "I'm sorry." Hey, it's not like I never swear myself, lol.

However...no one, and I mean no one, uses any kind of racial or sexual orientation epithet in my presence without being dressed down.

 

[TimeforMe]

Originally posted by Mercy
I really hate the sucks and gay thing, so when they use it, I tell them to "Shut the **** up!"

LOL! Too funny!

I agree about sucks. When did this become acceptable to use? I've even heard teachers use it! I did make them use stinks or rots instead of sucks, but all their friends use it very readily.

I asked them one time if they knew what friggin or freakin was slang for and they really did not know (or pretended not to anyway ).

Beth76--that's funny about your DS. I guess it doesn't matter what age they are, huh? They'll always do something to test us.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>I have a 16 yr old ds (hs junior) and a 15 yr old dd (hs sophmore), and neither one use any cuss words at home, nor words I consider offensive, like 'sucks'. I know they use some words with their friends, but they don't at home. I have the same rule in the car - when I give their friends rides, they do not use those words either.

I think it's what the parent is willing to deal with. Personally, I don't think it's too much to ask your own children to show respect in the parent's presence.

I have friends who are more lax with their kids -- just different rules.

(I remember one time - ds was in 9th grade - and he & his friends were in my car. He was recounting something that had happened that day and quoted another friend. The friend in the car turned to him and said, "That's not what was said," and I told him that ds was cleaning it up for me. He just sat back and said, "ohhhh." lol )

As for sucks -- even our pastor uses it

 

[FroggyinArk]

DD may never swear again,, i was in the back of the house a few weeks ago when she came in from school, i didnt feel like screaming back when she screamed i'm home,, so i stayed quiet to see what she did next,, she walked into the kitchen and said there is never anyone in t his ******* house. at which point i said you wish.. and she was grounded for the next 3 weeks, she still doiesnt have her phone back.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Not the "big" words but this year I have to listen to gay, crap, sucks, freakin'...

 

[trip]

With two daughters finished with college and the third one still in college, we had this discussion years ago. The rule in our house was that certain words were just not used - the English language has some many other descriptive ones. I also know that all of the "forbidden" words have crossed their lips just not usually at home. My husband and I seldom if ever use profanity but I must admit that probably the "worst" word that I use is sucks.

 

[piratesmate]

My kids don't swear at home, but neither do we - except for the occasional one under our breath.

When DS was 17 - 19 he let a couple fly when he was absolutely furious about something. It was immediately followed by an apology & a quick look to see if his sister was nearby. (She wasn't.) You know, even his friends always cleaned up their language when they were here.

It's almost like a game around here - see who can come up with the best "alternative cuss words." I think "ratzen-fratzen" is still my favorite.

 

[JetMom]

Originally posted by The Mystery Machine
Not the "big" words but this year I have to listen to gay, crap, sucks, freakin'...

My oldest DS is in 7th grade and these are all banned words in our house. It hasn't been a real big issue, but then again, I have been banning words practically since he started talking. For the longest time the "s" word was "stupid."

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I did the same thing. This year in 8th grade it isn't working out.

 

[Kallison]

My husband is extremely anti-CURSING. I did hear my 7th grader slip and say the SH word. I'm like HOly Cow if your Dad hears that I'll be branded a BAD MOM!! I do swear occasionally, the A-word, SH word and the D word. I try not to though, usually if I use it the kids know I'm livid. Their father however will never, ever allow them to curse no matter how old they are. I would not allow it in every day conversation either. My 7th grader used it in an extreme situation where he was very upset.