do your older teens/college kids drive you nuts

[luvflorida]

I always feel like I'm nagging all the time and I hate it, but nobody seems to listen to polite requests. My DD13 has to read three books this summer for Freshman Honors English. I tried to let it go and not say too much, but she never got around to reading the books. So, yesterday I told her, when she is finished reading her three books, then we'll go shopping for school clothes. Well, I noticed this morning she started on one of the books. No reading, no new school clothes.

It seems to work, but it still makes me angry that she doesn't seem to have the motivation on her own to complete the assignment.

 

[The Princess]

How about preteen??? I don't know how I am going to make teen and college

 

[Chris2597]

At least I know I am not alone....The post that stated that their teen set off the smoke alarm from late night cooking sounds so familiar.....My ds comes home from a night out....sits down and watches tv....I finally go to bed, knowing he is safe at home (yes, I stay up until he is home....that is why a decent curfew is so important to me....right now his curfew is 11:30 sun-thur and 1:30 am Fri and Sat. )....I just start to fall asleep and I smell food being cooked.....I have also said no late night cooking....just microwave or snack foods.....I would end up getting up to make sure he has turned the stove off....and then get riled up because he has left a mess in the kitchen or his plates in the family room....
I am struggling with the curfew and need to make some changes we can all live with....I am exhausted from waiting up for him....He drives our car when he goes out....I recently told him that he didnt have a curfew but our car did......and that the car had to be back in the driveway at a stated time....Well....a few days later I went out of town and he is staying with my elderly mom.....so it should be interesting how this works when I get home and he is back at home.....

 

[sk!mom]

Originally posted by Michie
but talk about CRANKY!

OK. let's talk about cranky. He's 19 and driving me crazy. He is also a good kid- never in trouble always calls if he will be home late, but he is a slob and sooooo cranky. I am trying so hard to interact with him on a more adult level since I know that we all hate it when our parents talk to us like children, but he acts like such a child at times.

Just remember when they were sweet little boys we couldn't bear the thought that they would some day grow up and move out. My son's attitude has me ready to help him pack!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I'm getting worried, now. My oldest will be a senior this year, so I still have college to look forward to. I also have boys who are 4, 11 in Sept and 14 in Sept.

I do have a couple questions to those of you who are struggling with the college age children. My kids have to be in their room by 10pm every night, unless they are at a friends house, we are watching a movie, etc. My DH and I need a bit of down time to talk and regroup after they are in their room. I don't care what time they go to sleep, but they have to be in their rooms. I'm planning on continuing this when they are in college, too, unless they are just home for a day or two. Do any of you do this? I figure it's the only way that I'll survive!

Also, my kids currently have certain chores that they do every week and revolving ones that they do daily. The daily chores are just the basics--putting dishes away, vacuuming, dusting, etc--I do them, too, of course, but I do assign things for them to do. I will also continue to do this when they are home from college, especially after reading this thread.

My question is, how many of you were organized with the chores when they were younger and the college kids then felt that they were above helping? I'm hoping that since mine are used to doing these things that it might carry over to when they are older, but I'm betting that they will think they are beyond it. It won't work that way, though, because the younger siblings would speak up. lol

T&B

 

[JayBee]

because our house is hot and we have no ac.

Wow, I live in the South and can't imagine not having an ac!Yikes!

 

[Tiggeroo]

I broke down and bought a couple of window units yesterday. But it had nothing to do with the whiney dd. We live on the ocean and it's usually nice here but we have had unusual humidity this summer. I'm trying to get some plaster repairs and painting done and nothing will dry without the ac.
My kids have always had chores. What's happened is they have gotten busier. They all have full time jobs, and the boys are in sports that have summer practices. So what generally happens is they have to be at work at 9am and get up ten mins. before. They rush out the door. By the time they get home I can't stand the mess so I do the cleaning. Or they come home and have something planned that they go right to so I'm stuck with the dishes. Everybody gets to be busy doing fun stuff but me who is doing the all the housework. I want them to get up and spend 15mins doing chores before they leave for work, for ex.

 

[LUVDSNY04]

Hi,
I'm sitting here with a big smile on my face while reading all of your posts. Been there already and I want you to know it does get better- they do grow up and become wonderful adults!
So hang in there.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I don't think that 15 minutes before going to work and then helping with the dishes after dinner is too much to expect. Obviously be very specific about what needs to be done in that 15 minutes. I have rotating areas of the house that gets cleaned, so when my kids have a chore I can pick from that area of the house. Also, in my house certain things need to be done daily, like vacuuming the family room (we have 2 dogs and 2 cats, so vacuuming is a normal chore...) and putting the dishes away.

We've already gotten into the "I'm going out right after dinner so can't clean up the kitchen" syndrome. If one of the kids is going out they will be the one that sets the table, pours drinks, etc, so at least they are not getting out of everything.

One thing that my daughter has had to realize is that just because she has someone over, it doesn't mean that she is off the hook as far as cleaning up the kitchen, especially when that person is over a time or two a week (her BF). She got very huffy one night when I had her help her brother with the kitchen when her BF was over. I figure that he's here enough that he can either pitch in or can play with my 4yo, who adores him while my DD is washing dishes.

I'm now realizing how I need to keep with a schedule for the chores without ever letting up since starting over with older kids would be even harder.

T&B

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Originally posted by LUVDSNY04
Hi,
I'm sitting here with a big smile on my face while reading all of your posts. Been there already and I want you to know it does get better- they do grow up and become wonderful adults!
So hang in there.

Can I give you my phone number and have you call me every day and remind me of this??? There are two things that I try to tell myself often. They are "these are the good ole days" and "this too shall pass". They seem to contradict each other, but both help me to keep things in perspective.


T&B

 

[LUVDSNY04]

Tigger&Belle



That's what you have to do.

Once I saw a quote in Reader's Digest which said:

Ask your teens now while they know everything!

Take care

 

[Donna]

Thank you for making me feel better! I thought i was the only one going nuts with their "know it all " attitude. My oldest son is 19 and my other son is 9 going on 29. Of course, he worships the ground the older one walks on MOST of the time, other times they're at each others throats. Older is the over-achiever and younger feels he'll never be able to meet those exepectations so we play constant ego building over little things! i can't wait for BOTH schools to start! Older is a slob, even after having spent a year in military prep school! He obtains an appointment to the Air Force Academy and TURNS IT DOWN! we think its cause he's just a slob and too lazy to continue the military life! He'd rather spend time on the computer playing military war games and chatting with friends. Don't get me wrong, he's a good kid and we ARE proud of him for just getting IN, but we think he's throwing his life away , i hope we're wrong. He works all summer and is going to go to another good school but its hard for a parent to see their child accept the lesser of their accomplishments, i guess. As a mother, part of me is glad he won't be involved militarily in this world. I tell both of them, they personify Peter Pan, lol (they're both redheads too,lol). I relate Disney to everything they tell me, lol.