Do your kids take karate?

[ClarabelleCowFan]

DSS9 has been begging to take karate classes so we are looking at signing him up for one of the summer day camps at a dojo here in town while he is with us. Our only hesitation is that karate is such a physical sport and he can be a very physically aggressive child. I have heard mixed reviews about karate - that it can teach children discipline and to only use aggressive behavior in self defense and also the complete opposite - that it makes children more aggressive.

Looking for some personal experiences with this. If your child takes karate did you find that it made them act out MORE with aggression?

Thanks!

 

[RF536]

Both of my boys take karate, and it has been very good for them. I think a lot depends on the form, dojo and Sensei. Our style does not do sparing and the students can only make contact with black belts or above with permission. They also stress that karate is for self defense only. My oldest son used it once in anger and ended up spending 2 hrs discussing this with his Sensei. I have seen a big difference, especially with my older son. My older son as Aspergers and tends to have meltdows, having him run through his basics and forms does a great job calming him down and refocusing him.

 

[mommypenguin29]

My son and nephew take it...they are both good kids, but opposite when it comes to aggression...my son is very reserved and nephew is very energetic and can be aggressive...karate has been awesome for both of them! For my son, it has given him some more self confidence and discipline...for my nephew he is able to have alot of discipline and concentration. Their instructor is awesome with the kids and makes it alot of fun. He is also very strict with how they need to act and just last week he sat and talked to a student for 45 minutes because he got into a fight at school the day before (he had someone else teach my son's class, so he could do it). The kids respond great to the instructor and it amazes me to watch the kids from when they first started to how they are now. Good luck!

 

[MNdisneymom]

My son has been taking karate (with a break last year) since he was 4.5 and he's 8 now. He is completely non-aggressive so it has never been a problem for him. Overall, karate has been great for his focus and concentration.

He's gone to 2 different dojos, with very different philosophies. At the first, sparring was completely optional. But the classes weren't as challenging and he got bored--hence the year-long break. At his second (current) dojo, sparring is mandatory at a certain belt level, so he has to do it. His sensei knows how he feels about it and doesn't hassle him, it's just something he has to do. They only do it one week a month. He is a lot better at the other stuff (katas for example) so it works out okay. It will just take him a little longer to get the stripe (credit) for sparring than it takes the other kids.

I love his current dojo--all the teachers are great and it's a very rigorous program. That said...there is one kid at the school who *is* doing it for the wrong reasons. His mother admitted that he saw Karate Kid (the newer one) and "wanted to beat people up with karate." He's a lot bigger and a bit of a bully--my DS just stays out of his way. The poor teachers spend a lot of time reigning him in.

Good luck on your decision...

 

[gatormom2tots]

I think it boils down to the instructor. We have been at our facility since Joshua was 4 (he's 6 now) and we love it. Josh is a very bright child but can be very impulsive at times. Karate has really taught him the meaning of self-control and self-discipline- but maily because the dojo demands it! Many times he has been told to do push-ups for goofing off in class!

We looked at MANY places before deciding on this one-we choose it becuse of the dojo. He is awesome with the kids (really a big kid himself) but demands respect from them as well. My biggest suggestion is to shop around and get recs from other parents.

 

[mjkacmom]

Ds8 is a third level junior black belt in TKD, and has been going twice a week for 4 years. He's always been very aggressive, but is extremely well behaved and focused in TKD, and I've found it's made him less aggressive over time. A lot is based on respect, and self control.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Thanks so much for the replies. I would really love to let him do this - he is such a sweet kid and this is something he REALLY, REALLY wants to do. Before we mention the possibility to him, I will call or visit the dojo with the summer camp and talk to them to get a feel for what their structure is like.

My worry is that this may make his aggression worse and we don't want to stir that up. I'll address that with the sensei to see what his ideas are. If this could help him learn how to get the aggression issues under control then it is a win/win!

 

[Blueyed Girl]

My son (7) has been taking Tae Kwon Do since last July. It has really helped him come out of his shell and learn how to take up for himself but also learn how to do it WITHOUT just going out and whipping up on someone. He is learning that since he knows it, he has it to use IF he should ever need it.

I agree with the other posters...it has a lot to do with which school you choose and the Instructor(s). I would definitely talk to the Sensei and tell him your concerns. It helps a lot when you are all on the same page.

The one my son goes to works along side of their schooling. They get rewards for good grades at school, etc. I really like that and think that is the way it should be. There is another TKD school in our town that doesn't touch up on these things enough. My DS had gone to school with a couple of boys who had taken from the other school who were very aggressive on the playground (basically becoming bullies). I think with the wrong instruction, it could go the wrong way very fast unfortunately.

 

[DisneyFamily123]

I coach little league sports now (baseball, basketball, soccer) and parents always ask me about martial arts since I did Tae Kwon Do for several years when I was younger, and Hapkido as an adult.... so here's my two cents....

Don't get me wrong... I love martial arts. But serious martial arts study should wait until age 15 (my opinion). That's when I started. My son and daughter did TKD starting at age 9 and they were both bored. It was traditional TKD, a hard workout, and no real social interaction between the kids. My youngest son is 5 and I see some parents shelling out big $$$ for karate. I just don't see the point. I'm having him stick with team sports until he is older.

Tae Kwon Do, Karate, etc... is a sport... For children under the age of 16, it is absolutely nothing more than than that. Watch the classes. You should see children having fun with their "karate" friends. If they are not laughing and smiling, go somewhere else.

This idea that martial arts will make a child more disciplined is a bunch of marketing garbage to lure parents into spending lots of money on martial arts lessons. That simple. Martial arts will not make any child more disciplined... it's not boot camp.... it's a sport.

It is NOT self-defense. No child is going to use whatever kicks and punches to overcome or escape a man my size. I'm at least 3 times their weight. I might have a gun or other weapon. The best defense to teach a child is to scream loud and run into a crowd of people or store. The techniques in these martial arts are useless for self-defense. Martial arts that teach "real" self-defense involve in-close fighting and disarming techniques, joint locks, pain, etc... -- none of which is appropriate for children. I've held a kicking bag before and 16 year olds kicking with all their might could not move me an inch.

Let's talk about money.... Martial arts lessons $90 to $150+ a month and possibly a requirement to sign a contract. Intramural soccer and baseball where I live -- $40 to $60 total for a 3 month season including the uniform.

Let's talk about injury. Injury is possible in any sport. But especially in martial arts. There should never be any kicking to the head until a "child" is 18 years old. Same for breaking cement blocks (NO!). Injuries can happen from getting kicked, or punching a hard surface but also from poor teaching of technique that causes over stretching of muscles and over extending joints when punching/kicking. Do the instructors really know what they are doing? What training have they had in physical fitness. More likely than not, it's just some inexperienced young adult who just got their black belt a year or so earlier.... with no formal training in fitness safety.

 

[lucigo]

I took a family class with 3 of my kids the year after my first husband died. I saw it as a way to spend time with them, be active, lose weight, and have fun. Those things we did. None of them really learned discipline or self-defense from it, and we spent a LOT of money. Looking back on it, it was a good experience for us at that time in our lives, however I won't put my 4th child in, and I wouldn't spend that kind of money to do it again.

On a side note, the instructor we had then is now on death row for murdering the parents of 15 special needs kids. Can't even begin to tell you the emotions that evoked.

 

[doclegler]

My 2 older boys take Tae Kwon Do and absolutely love it! Their Master (a woman ) is awesome!! She has helped my kids gain so much confidence, not to mention respect. The truly understand how important it is to respect adults and other children.
They have never used their skills outside the class and have made a promise to their Master that they never will (or will have major consequences). One of my boys enjoys sparring, but the other does not. Its really up to them what they decide to compete in (or not compete at all).
The boys have belt testing coming up in May...VERY nerve-raking for MOM!! Is tough and intense, but they are SO proud of themselves whether they pass or not. My 11 year old will be going for his red belt and my 8 year old will be testing for his green belt.
It truly is amazing to watch them accomplish those feats, and breaking boards is such a huge confidence builder.

All in all, I think its been wonderful for my boys. I do agree though that it takes a GREAT instructor to make the class.
Best of luck!

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

I coach little league sports now (baseball, basketball, soccer) and parents always ask me about martial arts since I did Tae Kwon Do for several years when I was younger, and Hapkido as an adult.... so here's my two cents....

Don't get me wrong... I love martial arts. But serious martial arts study should wait until age 15 (my opinion). That's when I started. My son and daughter did TKD starting at age 9 and they were both bored. It was traditional TKD, a hard workout, and no real social interaction between the kids. My youngest son is 5 and I see some parents shelling out big $$$ for karate. I just don't see the point. I'm having him stick with team sports until he is older.

Tae Kwon Do, Karate, etc... is a sport... For children under the age of 16, it is absolutely nothing more than than that. Watch the classes. You should see children having fun with their "karate" friends. If they are not laughing and smiling, go somewhere else.

This idea that martial arts will make a child more disciplined is a bunch of marketing garbage to lure parents into spending lots of money on martial arts lessons. That simple. Martial arts will not make any child more disciplined... it's not boot camp.... it's a sport.

It is NOT self-defense. No child is going to use whatever kicks and punches to overcome or escape a man my size. I'm at least 3 times their weight. I might have a gun or other weapon. The best defense to teach a child is to scream loud and run into a crowd of people or store. The techniques in these martial arts are useless for self-defense. Martial arts that teach "real" self-defense involve in-close fighting and disarming techniques, joint locks, pain, etc... -- none of which is appropriate for children. I've held a kicking bag before and 16 year olds kicking with all their might could not move me an inch.

Let's talk about money.... Martial arts lessons $90 to $150+ a month and possibly a requirement to sign a contract. Intramural soccer and baseball where I live -- $40 to $60 total for a 3 month season including the uniform.

Let's talk about injury. Injury is possible in any sport. But especially in martial arts. There should never be any kicking to the head until a "child" is 18 years old. Same for breaking cement blocks (NO!). Injuries can happen from getting kicked, or punching a hard surface but also from poor teaching of technique that causes over stretching of muscles and over extending joints when punching/kicking. Do the instructors really know what they are doing? What training have they had in physical fitness. More likely than not, it's just some inexperienced young adult who just got their black belt a year or so earlier.... with no formal training in fitness safety.

Thanks so much for the insight. This would only be for a couple of weeks this summer while my stepson is with us for summer visitation. We were trying to find something fun for him to do (he has begged to take karate for a long time) that would also give him the tools to deal with his aggression issues.

I got some information from the summer camp and they don't have weekly rates but only a rate for the whole summer. I'll call them tomorrow to ask if it is even possible to go on a weekly basis and ask them about their type of instruction.

I took a family class with 3 of my kids the year after my first husband died. I saw it as a way to spend time with them, be active, lose weight, and have fun. Those things we did. None of them really learned discipline or self-defense from it, and we spent a LOT of money. Looking back on it, it was a good experience for us at that time in our lives, however I won't put my 4th child in, and I wouldn't spend that kind of money to do it again.

On a side note, the instructor we had then is now on death row for murdering the parents of 15 special needs kids. Can't even begin to tell you the emotions that evoked.

Oh wow. Was he part of the group involved in the robbery/home invasion? I read an article about that not too long ago and the whole thing sent chills up my spine.

 

[lucigo]

Oh wow. Was he part of the group involved in the robbery/home invasion? I read an article about that not too long ago and the whole thing sent chills up my spine.

He was the mastermind. Its insane. This is someone that if this hadn't happened I would still be saying hi to in Wal-Mart, KWIM? I had no idea there was this other side to him. Its disturbing beyond words on so many levels.

 

[seashell724]

My uncle is the head of Karate Canada and my extended and immediate family have have black belts.

I am not sure about where you live but yeah, just go check the places out. I think that rather than increase aggression it would help tame it. Your son will be getting his agression out in a monitored environment which (hopefully) focuses the most on self control and respect. I think those are two important things for every child to learn.

 

[bumbershoot]

DH is a blackbelt in TKD, started taking it at 12 from a very serious teacher. DH doesn't believe in taking martial arts for fun. It's serious, or you don't go.

DS has wanted to take a martial art since he was around 3. He started Aikido at a new 6 because DH decided that DS understood this wasn't for fun, and we lucked into a program at the Y run by the Tacoma Aikido Club. Parents do NOT expect a serious class at the Y, and most kids who start don't come back for more than 2 more classes...either Sensei intimidates the kids or the parents, one of the two.

DS stuck it out (probably because he was *determined* to take it AND because he understands the concept of sarcasm, thanks to me, and that's needed with this teacher).

The self-defense he learns isn't "you can get out of the way of adult attackers", but more of the sort of trust your instincts, YELL, MOVE, be difficult if someone grabs you...attract attention, don't just freeze. The teacher has the parents read The Gift of Fear which goes along with the sort of self-defense they talk about in class.

The class is serious; my son has been put in a "time out" (where they stand on the edge of the mat, silently, not taking part in class) 3 times. Once for talking, once for being near a group of talking kids, and once for putting his hands in his pockets (usually an offence that gets you "barked" at, but he's been in it nearly a year and certainly knows better).

He has learned body awareness, precise movements and *control*. Of course, he also takes gymnastics and ballet (and swimming) which help with all of that.

He loves the course, even though (or perhaps because) it's so serious.

And Sensei would want to know if he had ever been aggressive with any moves, and they would talk. DS has used moves *once*, in a bounce house at a company party, when a bigger boy was bouncing into him on purpose and was trying to hit him. We saw DS in there putting his arms up and turning, exactly as taught. It confused the aggressor kid so much, because DS wasn't just taking it, but he wasn't being violent back, he was just deflecting the kid's hands and working to get away.

So find a GOOD class, and I imagine it would be fine. But good classes aren't all that common.

DH spent time in Taiwan and Korea growing up, and got to see Power Rangers before it swept America. In Taiwan and Korea, his relatives and classmates took martial arts but NEVER *played* with it. They did not copy Power Rangers; they understood that martial arts aren't to be played around with. When he came back to America, about a year or so later PR started being shown on TV. And he saw the American kids in his classes go insane about it. They would play at it. They copied the moves, they hurt themselves, they hurt each other. They hadn't a clue, not even the kids who took martial arts (at a place other than where DH took TKD), that it was serious and not a game. And, honestly, DH tends to believe that most martial arts studios are more like play places than serious places, and if we hadn't lucked into this one, DS wouldn't be taking it.

Well, we might have put him into a Tai Chi class (very very slow martial arts blocks, hits, and take-downs, as a book I am reading described it LOL), but nothing more than that.

I took a family class with 3 of my kids the year after my first husband died. I saw it as a way to spend time with them, be active, lose weight, and have fun. Those things we did. None of them really learned discipline or self-defense from it, and we spent a LOT of money. Looking back on it, it was a good experience for us at that time in our lives, however I won't put my 4th child in, and I wouldn't spend that kind of money to do it again.

On a side note, the instructor we had then is now on death row for murdering the parents of 15 special needs kids. Can't even begin to tell you the emotions that evoked.

Oh my goodness, I remember seeing that story in the news.

DH responded with horror when I read your post to him... I'm so sorry.

 

[riley2008]

My boys have been in karate now for 2 months. It's a class at the YMCA and costs about $30/month each. They LOVE karate! It's been such a pleasure having them attend, rather than the other team sports we've tried.

They do have a terrific Sensei that really makes the class FUN. He is also very good about laying on the positive feedback, with a critique sandwiched in. The kids respond so well. He also has his adult, teenage black-belt kids assist in class too sometime. All the kids love that. The class isn't as strict as some - allows kids to wear their shorts to practice and furnishes them a gi for belt test if they don't have one; allows talking when working with other students; plays games; etc - but they do have rules and yes some kids have done push-ups, but no one has ever been yelled at, etc. We had totally intended to move them to a different academy for about $65/month each if the boys continued to show an interest; however, we went to visit and it wouldn't have been a good fit.

It's been good for my boys, too, because they have been able to have individual successes. (We've had really bad luck with team sports coaches and my boys aren't exactly athletic.)

 

[Padstack]

DD6 has been taking TKD since September and has really enjoyed herself. The Master makes the class fun enough that the kids enjoy themselves. They do dodgeball at either the beginning or end of the class and play music while they are doing some of the drills. But, there are times when he does get serious and discipline the kids. He stresses the importance of respecting not only the Master and instructors, but especially their parents.

And to the PP who said that the discipline is just marketing garbage, you are wrong. My DD was becoming somewhat uncontrollable and was lashing out with aggression right before we put her into TKD. She has made a remarkable turnaround since then and we have not seen these outbursts since October. I credit TKD with most of this change. We also had her in soccer for several season before pullng her out becuase she was just not interested, same with dance & cheerleading.

 

[princessmom29]

I took a family class with 3 of my kids the year after my first husband died. I saw it as a way to spend time with them, be active, lose weight, and have fun. Those things we did. None of them really learned discipline or self-defense from it, and we spent a LOT of money. Looking back on it, it was a good experience for us at that time in our lives, however I won't put my 4th child in, and I wouldn't spend that kind of money to do it again.

On a side note, the instructor we had then is now on death row for murdering the parents of 15 special needs kids. Can't even begin to tell you the emotions that evoked.

Let me guess, the Billings case, right? Horrible, horrible tragedy for that family!

 

[lucigo]

Let me guess, the Billings case, right? Horrible, horrible tragedy for that family!

Yes, horrible! And disturbing to think that this person who worked with so many of our kids was capable of that! And now that I'm the mother of a special needs child myself, and to think that he wanted me to bring him to his classes...makes my skin crawl!!

 

[justcruisin]

My son (11) has taken karate since he was 6. It's is a small school with a great sensei; the cost is $45/month for one kid and the maximum cost is $110 for 3 or more kids - very reasonable. Month to month; no contracts are even offered. This is not a factory. Belts are earned, not purchased. No "sign up for our 5 year black belt program" ....

Seen many kids come and go over the past 5 years - it tends to be the aggressive kids that don't enjoy it because they learn soon enough that it is not about fighting. Even the sparring and grappling disppoints them.

Like others have said, it really depends on the philosophy of the school / sensei.

I know it has helped my son with focus and physical ability. He doesn't have an interest in basketball or baseball so it allows for year-around fitness. Kids from 4 different school districts, parochial school and home school all attend so socially it has been a win-win for us.