Do you think this is at all inappropiate?? (work related)

[CindysFriend]

My DH is the manager of a department of about a dozen people. For the last 4-5 years, every December 23rd (or thereabouts) he has found a bottle of cognac on his desk, with a note "Happy Holidays, from Santa".

He never knew who was leaving him this anonymous gift each year, but he suspected one particular woman (married) because the gifts started the same year she was hired. But now we know for certain that it IS her because we saw that the handwriting exactly matches this woman's handwriting on the Christmas card that everyone in his department signed for him this year.

Do you think there's anything inappropriate about this? DH is basically puzzled as to why this woman keeps giving him a bottle of cognac each year, especially since he doesn't even like it (so it's not as if she ever heard him say in conversation that he does like it). LOL Each year he brings it home, shows it to me, we chuckle about it, and it goes up in the cabinet next to its predecessors. LOL We have about 4 or 5 of them now. LOL

Just curious what others would make of this! Thanks!

P.S. As an aside, I want to add that a couple of years ago, this woman and another woman (who no longer works there) went to the grocery store during their lunch break and bought him a Disney DVD that he had mentioned that WE (DH and I) had said we wanted to buy, AND they also bought him some alcohol wipes because he had mentioned that he needed to get some on his way home from work (he's diabetic and uses them daily). He offered to pay them but they said they were gifts. Right after this, he did say to them that he appreciated the thought behind these items, and thanked them, but that he didn't feel it was appropriate. Nothing was ever bought for him again from these women, except for the cognac which shows up "anonymously" each year! His department does give him a Christmas gift each year, but that's from the entire department.

 

[minniecarousel]

I don't think it's inappropriate. Odd, yes.

He should just bring it home and regift it.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

It seems harmless, I wouldn't do anything.

 

[diznygirl]

I'm wondering if she's re-gifting. Could be that someone she knows gives her or her husband a bottle every year, and she's found a way to get rid of it.

 

[crazyme5kids]

If he is a diabetic he probably doesn't drink very often right? What do you like to drink? Maybe he could casually mention that he needs to pick up some type of liquor that you like to drink. He can say it's his favorite. This might work to your advantage .

 

[emer95]

Definitely odd. Does this woman do anything else throughout the year that makes your dh uncomfortable? If not, don't worry about it!
Cognac is great in French Onion soup!

 

[Keli]

Since it's given anonymously I think I wouldn't say or do anything about it. It's seems that this woman isn't trying to used it to gain favor with her boss since she never takes credit for the gift. It just seems like it would cause her some needless embarrassment if he were to say something to her at this point.
And I agree with whoever said to regift it. I'm sure there's folks out there who would really appreciate it and that way you won't have 20+ bottles on the shelf at his retirement, lol.

 

[Stacerita]

I don't think its inappropriate.

 

[Deb & Bill]

I'm a supervisor and I am not permitted to accept gifts from my employees except for something that I can share with the entire group (like a cake or cookies) or for a very special occasion (like retirement, wedding, etc). Christmas gifts are not permitted from my staff to me.

Your husband may want to make a general announcement that as much as he enjoys the gifts from his staff, it makes him very uncomfortable and would ask that they not do it anymore. Then see if it stops.

 

[Disney Doll]

Since she thinks she's doing it anonymously, it doesn't seem like she's trying to gain favor with the boss. It also deosn't seem like she's trying to hit on him or something, or she'd be letting him know that the cognac was from her. Sounds like she's just trying to have a little Christmas fun...like a Secret Santa of sorts, if you KWIM.

If I was DH, I'd probably try to mention within her earshot what my favorite liquor was so she'd start buying that instead of cognac!

 

[Tink888]

Personally, I don't think it's inappropriate. She just sounds like a thoughtful person trying to spread a little Christmas cheer during the holidays. If she had an agenda or was hitting on your DH, her name would be on the card. I've worked at several places where buying a bottle of liquor for the boss during the holidays was commonplace, mainly because no one was sure what to buy and booze was a nice gift that you didn't have to spend a lot on.

Like others have said, just re-gift it since you and DH don't drink it. Don't over-think it and just appreciate the woman's thoughtfulness. Maybe your DH could be inspired to play secret Santa and leave something small on the desks of his employees next year. I'm sure it would make their day.

 

[mumom95]

Personally, I don't think it's inappropriate. She just sounds like a thoughtful person trying to spread a little Christmas cheer during the holidays. If she had an agenda or was hitting on your DH, her name would be on the card. I've worked at several places where buying a bottle of liquor for the boss during the holidays was commonplace, mainly because no one was sure what to buy and booze was a nice gift that you didn't have to spend a lot on.

Like others have said, just re-gift it since you and DH don't drink it. Don't over-think it and just appreciate the woman's thoughtfulness. Maybe your DH could be inspired to play secret Santa and leave something small on the desks of his employees next year. I'm sure it would make their day.

I agree with this. Sounds like she is just trying to do something nice without making it look like she's sucking up to the boss. Take it as it is, a gift.

 

[HonestAbe]

I dont see any problems with it. If you dont want it, throw it out or regift it.

 

[Green Tea]

I don't see it as inappropriate. My DH gets wine gifts from many employees.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Some people are just nice; it's sad that we have to question their motives because niceness isn't the norm.

 

[happygirl]

Some people are just nice; it's sad that we have to question their motives because niceness isn't the norm.

 

[Ceila]

Maybe she just appreciates all he does as manager and wants to thank him. There certainly isn't anything inappropriate in this - she's not even putting her name on it, for heaven's sake! Accept it as an offer of goodwill, and let it drop. And I totally disagree with making an announcement to the whole department, unless it truly is against company policy.

 

[BelleWDW]

Years ago DH used to give alcohol gifts to business associates
We now feel that is an inappropriate gift in the workplace-KWIM?

He now gives gourmet Cookie baskets, Hams, Gourmet nuts or gift certificates.

She probably thinks its a "high end" gift.....but why do it annonomously?

 

[vettechick99]

I'll take it!!

 

[sdemore]

Me too!