Do you think that not taking a vacation is cheating your kids???

[Lisa_M]

OP, I would suggest weekend camping trips for your family or if you live out in the country, you could camp out in your backyard, roast marshmallows, have the camping experience at home. Since you live in West Virginia, you could take a day trip in the winter time to see the lights at Oglebay. That's about all I know regarding West Virginia places to visit, but I'm sure you know of more.

I don't think not taking a vacation is cheating your kids. I grew up camping with my family on the weekends during the summer. We went to Disney twice as a child. Once when I was in 2nd grade (stayed off site) and went to MK, MGM and Epcot and again in 7th grade (stayed with family in Tampa), when to MK for 1 day and another day to Universal Studios.

I work with a lot of kids from low to middle income families. They aren't all going to Disney, despite how it seems everyone goes because most on this board go.

It's not about the places you take your kid, but the things you DO with your kid.

Our trip this year will be a weekend of camping in the summer and I'm really looking forward to taking my daughter.

 

[daleswife]

I want to say I really do appreciate all the different points of view in this thread. Its great to see that we can all have a conversation and still get along.

I have noticed in this thread the amount of people who go camping. We use to go camping all the time when I was younger. We still do. DH's parents own a camper and have it at Sherwood Lake in Greenbriar County. Its a little over 2 hours from here. I just dont enjoy camping. I never have. I go cause DH likes it. I hate to fish and I am Not one to swim....dont like water....I like to get away from the house and have some things to do. Camping is like sitting outside my house to me. Nothing to do but sit and do nothing.

This is the reasons I enjoy getting away. I dont have to go somewhere expensive, I just want OUT!!!

 

[wdwfan16]

I've noticed that many have said that they are debt free NOW and that's wonderful. However that implies that they did have debt at one time and I would assume that some have been to WDW during that time. Am I wrong?

Only with a mortgage everything else was paid off. We have never had CC debt and would never use CCs and pay 10, 15 or 20% interest while keeping some money in the EF at 1%.

 

[TnTWalter]

We celebrating becoming debt free by going on our first trip to Disney in 2006!
My kids were 6.5,4.5 and 3 at the time.



Before kids we vacationed every year skiing. After kids and me switching to staying at home and slowly working on getting rid of small credit card debt and 1 out of 2 cars having payments...we worked on living like our paycheck [LOL] we reigned it in....we have always camped but that became more of our vacations and did a hotel with nice pool, etc. or an amusement park for the weekend here and there. Kids had a blast. Never felt deprived.

We loved WDW. WE still love camping. We budget for vacations like everything else and plan for it. Some of our best family memories have cost the LEAST. Our kids talk most about our trip to Lake Michigan a couple summers ago. We camped for 3 nights and it was so fun!

You can do whatever you want and hopefully you've gotten wonderful ideas...and I know how hard it is and I understand the live for today because who knows....

But I tell you I've been on both sides of the fence and the peace I feel without debt hanging over my head is worth more to me than a car I can't afford to save up and pay cash [so therefore new to me but slightly used] or a fancy vacation because I've had a long year and 'deserve' it, etc.

When you live without debt you can take the money you were giving out to everywhere and put it in the bank of YOU to do the fun things with. Save Give and LIVE.

DH's childhood BF has cancer and outlook isn't so good. Wife is pregnant with 3rd child. They have 'lived for today....' He is so stressed out because of the huge financial burden they are under on top of it all. They can't afford their big beautiful house and are trying to short sale, he doesn't have life insurance, no college savings, nada....they have some fancy car payments a huge mortgage and lots of vactations to remember but really if he could go back...

Breaks my heart. Life is short and you should enjoy it but with moments and time and love; not with crap you can't afford.

Trish

 

[sk!mom]

I've noticed that many have said that they are debt free NOW and that's wonderful. However that implies that they did have debt at one time and I would assume that some have been to WDW during that time. Am I wrong?

For years on this board I have said that I was "debt free except fo a mortgage." I can now say that we are completely debt free.

To answer your question, In the years that we had debt over and above a mortgage and one car loan, we did one big vacation and it was to WDW. During that time, paying off student loans and debt accumulated while starting out was our priority. We vacationed every year but closer to home and less expensively than Disney. Trips like renting a no frills cabin in the mountains and spending a week hiking, rafting, and horseback riding or a week in San Antonio visiting Fiesta TX, Schlitterbahn, Sea World, and then cheap or free things. We enjoyed great family times just closer to home.

We were lucky in that our children are widely spaced and our first found Disney to be fun but nothing special and didn't care to return after the one trip we took there. The types of trips we could afford were more to his liking. He did go back with us twice as a teen and once on a high school trip and now we've gone without him a couple of times. He vows that he will never return to WDW unless he someday has children. People live happy lives and vacation without WDW.

Once we were down to only a mortgage and one car loan we started to take a nice annual vacation. When we were able to no longer have a car loan we continued with one big annual vacay and smaller trips a couple of times a year.

Now that we are debt free, we hope to take some wonderful trips. For the record we are 48, married 30 years, with a DS25 and a DD14.

 

[punkin]

There is nothing quite like the passion of the newly converted...

Maybe that's why I don't quite feel so strongly about it. We never had any "bad" debt and very little "good" debt, and we've always managed a balance between saving for someday and enjoying today.

Oh yes!!!! You have totally hit the nail on the head...newly converted to the church of Dave Ramsey.

 

[Ka' eo]

Once we were down to only a mortgage and one car loan we started to take a nice annual vacation. When we were able to no longer have a car loan we continued with one big annual vacay and smaller trips a couple of times a year.

Now that we are debt free, we hope to take some wonderful trips. For the record we are 48, married 30 years, with a DS25 and a DD14.

NICE JOB! Awesome for you!

The newly converted might be passionate, but so are those of us who have been doing this a while. I never like to see folks make poor financial decisions, but in this economy? Truly russian roulette.

 

[TnTWalter]

just because you get out of debt doesn't mean you can't enjoy life. Some on here act like it's one or the other. Either live it up or be miserable and save. I'm saying that's not true.


Why can't you actually save money, pay off debt and then live it up? And you don't have to consider eating beans out of cans in tents in the family room a vacation.

And those throwing stones on the Dave Ramsey 'converts' complain about being judged but what are they doing? Seriously some of their posts come off more self-righteous than others.

Like I said, to each their own. But it's not 'all or nothing'. Even though I didn't go to WDW until 2006 like I said before and I was 36, I still had a FANTASTIC childhood. DIdn't realize my parents were depriving me thinking only of themselves and saving money. How dare they! LOL. We took many vacations but probably some were expensive and most were not. We always had fun. We are all really close still.



And if you must do WDW while kids are young, go for it. Have a great time.

If you are worried about debt, you don't have to stay at the POLY with the dining plan and park hoppers. Or you don't have to go every year.

If you want to get out of debt but it seems so far away and kids are getting too old....then I think you can do WDW trip while getting out of debt as long as it fits in the budget and the plan...if you're trying to get out of debt don't add new debt.

Or just go and have fun and keep the debt piling up if that's perfectly fine with you. If you are comfortable with that then that's your choice. Have a great time. I'm not trying to change you.

But sometimes with all the protesting some of the live for today'ers do, it makes me wonder. Why do you have a problem with how I choose to live?

This board is a budget board so in general it's about saving money for WDW or just for life in general.


Trish

 

[mumom95]

Glad you figured it all out OP. Have a great time!!

 

[crisi]

I've noticed that many have said that they are debt free NOW and that's wonderful. However that implies that they did have debt at one time and I would assume that some have been to WDW during that time. Am I wrong?

When I had credit card debt we went on one vacation in five years - for our honeymoon.

The thing about getting rid of that debt is that since we don't pay interest, we have a lot more money to go on vacation with (or do other things with), and a lot less stress. Which is why being debt free is such a life changing thing.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

I think that there is something to be said for being newly converted, but I also believe people have seen too much pain over the last few years. I know people in careers that they should have retired from laid off, and unable to find jobs. I know many that thought they would be retiring in 10 years who will now be working until 65 or more. And I know another handful of people that took the money they inherited from their parents, blew it on big houses, vacations and cars, and don't have the money to pay for their kid's education. It is not a time of financial security.

So, it is a balance. Time with family, security for their children, and spouses. I'm glad we had the time on vacation with my son, but I am also glad we took the time after his passing to pay off the bills rather than applying for bankruptcy. My kids can go to the schools they want, we own property which can be sold if we are ever put in that position again.

As I said earlier, we did manage to make memories during that time, but it was a priority. If it hadn't, we probably would not have survived as a family after our tragedy.

 

[sk!mom]

NICE JOB! Awesome for you!

The newly converted might be passionate, but so are those of us who have been doing this a while. I never like to see folks make poor financial decisions, but in this economy? Truly russian roulette.

Thank you!

I'm actually not a big fan of Dave Ramsey. He seems great at motivating people to get out of debt, which is great, however I disagree with some of his methods and advice after the fact. For instance, my credit score does matter to me. Someday, I may need it and I use credit cards to benefit me.

The truth for some of us who value the level financial stability that comes from not maintaining debt is that there are always people looking for justification to live above thier means. "Kids are only young once" and "Your not promised tomorrow" are very true. However, those kids do grow up fast and it would be great to be able to have a bit saved to help them with college, and the catastrophes that make enjoying your life today so important also make reducing debt important.

I agree that balance is the key. As I said, we vacationed a lot before we were totally debt free. We've been to Europe twice while still paying a mortgage but saying that you "pay cash for vacations" while living with credit card debt and personal loans is faulty economics. If you're are charging living expenses while saving for vacation then you can't truly afford the vacation. You may still take it and that's your decision but when you post to a budget discussion board you can expect to hear that it's not financially wise.

 

[wdwfan16]

There is nothing quite like the passion of the newly converted...

Maybe that's why I don't quite feel so strongly about it. We never had any "bad" debt and very little "good" debt, and we've always managed a balance between saving for someday and enjoying today.

Not the newly converted. We figured it out without every hearing the name Dave Ramsey. We never had CC debt. Have only had two car payments. The first two years and the second one year. Now we only buy cars cash. We both had student loans but we kept them down and paid them off in 3-4 years. At 26 we were debt free and still rented. We rented for the next 5 years. We vacationed for our honeymoon and then the next was after the SLs were paid off. We then saved a 40% down payment and bought our one and only home. The next time we buy a home will probably be when we get to old to maintain our yard and home. We may go back to renting then. Now we vacation twice a year.

 

[pacrosby]

People jumped to encourage the OP to "Go! Life is short! You deserve it!" I am so impressed that she figured out what was behind her impulse to disregard her personal loan and spend more money she does not have.





This particular sentence (taken from someone's post but without identifying the poster's identity so that they no longer feel singled out) seems to sum up alot of the previous posters impressions of what 'the other side' has been saying. So,

could someone please scroll through the last 12 pages of this thread and count how many people actually suggested the OP be irresponsible; how many people actually advised the OP to throw reckless abandon to the wind and take an all-out expensive dream vacation; how many people actually told the OP to run up more and more debt on cc's because 'life is short'. I'm just wondering exactly how many people actually said that? Because I'm not sure I read any of that. The overwhelming majority of the posts I read (including my own) talked about balance and encouraged the OP to seek such balance responsibly.

The problem with these threads is that it becomes overpopulated with folks who refuse to even consider that the 'other side' may actually have a few good points and as a result the 'other side' just decides to not bother getting involved because they aren't interested in being flamed. It's an "I'm right, you're wrong" mentality. People simply dismiss common logic; people nitpick single sentences/phrases out of lengthy posts; people twist other's words; people make grand assumptions about other's circumstances. One side wants the 'other side' to listen to them but isn't willing to do any listening of their own.

Contrary to what many may believe there isn't only one way to handle one's finances.

 

[Planogirl]

There is nothing wrong with being debt free. It's of course the way to go.

However, life happens and my philosophy is that as long as the debt is under control and is on the way to being paid that there is nothing wrong with going on a vacation. That is as long as no new debt is added. It might take a bit longer to pay off the debt but that's a personal choice.

And it's quite possible to have savings with debt. I see no sense in spending savings again as long as the debt is under control.

 

[Ka' eo]

The problem with these threads is that it becomes overpopulated with folks like yourself who refuse to even consider that the 'other side' may actually have a few good points. It's an "I'm right, you're wrong" mentality. You simply dismiss common logic; you nitpick single sentences/phrases out of lengthy posts; you twist people's words; you make grand assumptions about other's circumstances. You want the 'other side' to listen to you but you aren't willing to listen to them.

Contrary to what you may believe there isn't only one way to handle one's finances.

Wow, chip on your shoulder?

Thanks for this post! I don't agree entirely with everything you've said, but you made a lot of great points here.

(Your farm sounds great! I'm jealous.)

I hope you don't agree with everything! Different viewpoints are important!

I am quoting this one exchange just to demonstrate you are clearly not reading my posts with the spirit in which they were written.

 

[pacrosby]

Wow, chip on your shoulder?

No, no chip at all. Again...................that would be one of those grand assumptions. Everything I accused people of I could go back and support with numerous (did I say 'numerous'?) quotes. I was just asking someone to support the claim that
posters couldn't wait to jump on board and advise the OP to "Go! Life is short! You deserve it!". The 'other side' has repeatedly been criticized for encouraging the OP to be grossly irresponsible. All I asked was for someone to back up these accsusations.

I am quoting this one exchange just to demonstrate you are clearly not reading my posts with the spirit in which they were written.

Obviously I'm not speaking of that particular exchange. Some have had an awful lot to say on this thread. Most of it was spent talking. Not enough of it was spent listening.


Again, I'm not 'mad'; there is no chip on my shoulder (far more important things to worry about here).....................just calling it like I see it. People can say that their intent is not to come off as 'judgemental' but sometimes it is difficult to interpret their posts as anything but. It's easy to "dish it". Not so easy to 'take it'?

btw: I did notice that you didn't actually answer the question.

This isn't an attack. It's just a call for personal responsiblity. It's hard to have a meaningful discussion, where people on both sides of the fence feel like they have equal footing, without it.

 

[ohlas]

We did the camp in the backyard thing. I think the nebors think im crazy but their kids wanted to slept in the tents with us.

It's really funny how people think spending money means your will have a great time.

The question is how important is it to go on a real vacation to you?
I understand the winter blue dear, the evil snow just never goes away and everything is gray forever. lol

We normally go on vacation every year but they are mostly cheap ones under 1k for camping several times a year.

One big vacation every 3-5 years, 5-7k

Most people cannt remeber anything pre 8 years old unless it was really bad.

Most adults just remeber the memories that the adult tell them over and over again like remeber the time you where 5 and you pull the chair out from under me (srry mom) or when grandma was sick you said blank...

the kids will be fine as long as you love them... and play with them when you feel bad I remeber more of my mom playing barbies with me then the many many day trip we took to disney that were free to my parents, and no we didnt live in fla but grandma did and she paid too

 

[avahoneybee]

We celebrating becoming debt free by going on our first trip to Disney in 2006!
My kids were 6.5,4.5 and 3 at the time.



Before kids we vacationed every year skiing. After kids and me switching to staying at home and slowly working on getting rid of small credit card debt and 1 out of 2 cars having payments...we worked on living like our paycheck [LOL] we reigned it in....we have always camped but that became more of our vacations and did a hotel with nice pool, etc. or an amusement park for the weekend here and there. Kids had a blast. Never felt deprived.

We loved WDW. WE still love camping. We budget for vacations like everything else and plan for it. Some of our best family memories have cost the LEAST. Our kids talk most about our trip to Lake Michigan a couple summers ago. We camped for 3 nights and it was so fun!

You can do whatever you want and hopefully you've gotten wonderful ideas...and I know how hard it is and I understand the live for today because who knows....

But I tell you I've been on both sides of the fence and the peace I feel without debt hanging over my head is worth more to me than a car I can't afford to save up and pay cash [so therefore new to me but slightly used] or a fancy vacation because I've had a long year and 'deserve' it, etc.

When you live without debt you can take the money you were giving out to everywhere and put it in the bank of YOU to do the fun things with. Save Give and LIVE.

DH's childhood BF has cancer and outlook isn't so good. Wife is pregnant with 3rd child. They have 'lived for today....' He is so stressed out because of the huge financial burden they are under on top of it all. They can't afford their big beautiful house and are trying to short sale, he doesn't have life insurance, no college savings, nada....they have some fancy car payments a huge mortgage and lots of vactations to remember but really if he could go back...
Breaks my heart. Life is short and you should enjoy it but with moments and time and love; not with crap you can't afford.

Trish

That is horrible.

In a way, it's good to read the bad side though because it reminds one of how lucky they are.

 

[robin09]

Paying off your debt is a lot more important than taking a vacation. Why would you even think it's "unfair" that they don't get to go on vacation???? How many ways can you spell RIDICULOUS?!?!?!?

Your kids only go to school 180 days -- in between, they have 2 1/2 to 3 months off in summer (depending where you are), a 1 to 1 1/2 weeks off at Christmas, a week off in February, a week off at Easter, 4 day weekend at Memorial Day, and let's not forget about the 1/2 days and "teacher conference" days.......

A "vacation".... they're on "vacation" until they graduate college and have to enter the real world.

We live upstate NY and don't have the same time off as you. They eliminated the week in February, and instead gave 2 days off for the President week. I really disagree about kids being on vacation until after college. A kids life is tough, having to listen to the adults, the stress of school, being liked by others, learning about themselves and the world. Kids need a break from that stress, like we need from work. I agree that there can be other ways, but even camping now is getting difficult. I know up here in the catskills, NY has closed alot of the places we used to go to because of lack of funding.

It's getting hard, but familys need to get away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and smell the roses....