Do you think that not taking a vacation is cheating your kids???

[apnep]

Actually, I DID go to WDW every year...as did almost everyone I knew.

Oh, well, great for you! Mom and Dad took my sister and I to Disneyland. We drove two days to get to CA and we borrowed the neighbor's pop-up camper and stayed in a KOA. It is one of the fondest memories I have from when I was younger. The KOA was SO much fun too! We were SO excited to go and really appreciated the trip! When I look back on that time and see how my husband and I are able to take our kids places now, it makes me appreciate my parents even more because I know what it took to get us there.

I think our kids nowadays have a sense of entitlement and as parents we often get into the mode of being "parentainers" instead of just letting them hang back and enjoy what they already have. We don't take our kids on vacations every year. Last year, we just hung out around our city doing stuff and took a short weekend trip to Austin. They still had a good time.

I guess I was just trying to say that mostly, kids just want to be with the parents, does it matter where?

Ang

 

[apnep]

Actually, I DID go to WDW every year...as did almost everyone I knew.

Jodifla, that's not really fair, you are from Florida!

Ang

 

[apnep]

Its the same ol' same ol' to us...I get that its not a need nor a necessity to take a vacation, and we can afford it, but if we take that money and pay off bills, maybe we can do a really good vacation in a few years.

I totally hear you. We took the kids a few years ago to YNP and GTNP. Went with ALL our family, cousins, uncles, grannies. It was so much fun. We got back, paid it all off, and are working to pay off some more stuff that came up. It's been a few years since we've taken a big trip because we have been focusing on paying off debt and saving. If you really need to get away, then just do something on a much smaller scale. You just said you went on a mini-trip. The kids aren't going to feel cheated if their next "big" trip doesn't happen for a few years, if anything, they will appreciate it more. Nobody says you have to pay off the mortgage before you go anywhere either...

Ang

 

[daleswife]

I get the feeling that people are thinking I want to go in debt to take a vacation. We have NEVER used credit to go on vacation. If we dont have the cash we dont go. I just thought if I get some good replies It would be easier to make a decision and I see that there are plenty of people out there for paying off the debt before going on vacation, and plenty of people saying go on vacation. I know that the loans will be here when we get back and as long as I dont default on loans just to go on vacation, then there wouldnt be a problem. HOWEVER, I would like to get the loans paid off and paid off quickly. So if DH and I decide to go on a vaca it wont be the end of the world, and if we dont, then we can take that money and pay some bills.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Interesting reading this whole thread. I don't have children so I can't say one way or the other. I always read on here well we need a vacation or we deserve it because life is hard or the children won't be young forever.

I think that as a family you deserve happiness and to make memories. I would hope that it happens year round and not the week or two a year you aren't at home. I understand about having a man that works alot of hours and needing him to take time off or to spend time with the family, which should be happening besides that one or two weeks a year. I know how difficult that can be as I have a husband that works alot of hours and is gone away quite a bit.

What I don't see alot of people admitting is that vacations aren't just for children. Children are young and have fun with a flaslight and a piece of paper or rock, well okay back when I was young with the dinosaurs. Still everything is new to children, especially young children. They get pleasures from picking flowers or swimming in a creek or building a fort in the front room.

Everything that seems old to you is new to the children. Yes you(the general you) may have seen the county fair 30 times but to the children it's still all new. That doesn't keep you from doing it, right?

Finding fun and making memories doesn't have to be about disneyworld, Europe, or traveling. Have fun making smores, builidng forts, picking flowers and takng pictures. I hope you go out and relax and make lots of memories and have fun.

 

[HeatherC]

DalesWife: I totally see your point!

Guess my thinking is that you don't have to completely not have a vacation. What we do when money is tight or we are saving for something or paying something off, I try to finance any vacation we might want to take with extra income...like through garage sales, ebay, consignment, etc..

We've also done some wonderful trips that have been VERY cheap. Some of our best vacations are the cheapest ones. Last Memorial Day we went camping for 5 days and paid $14 a night for a cabin at a state park. We paid $60 for a 5 night vacation! That is less than it would be for all of us to go to the movies once!

I think the trick is to find that balance that feels right for your family. If that is putting off trips for a while, that's the right choice. If it's taking a super cheap trip, that's ok too. Whatever is right for your family!

Good luck to you!!!!

 

[apnep]

So do it then. Pay them off. Do it. Do it. Do it. Come on, everyone is doing it.

If it's only going to take a couple of years, think how happy you'll be when it's done because you made the decision to buckle down. Just do the thing out of the ordinary and be done with it. You'll feel so much better and I'm sure everyone will be cheering you on!

 

[wdwfan16]

I get the feeling that people are thinking I want to go in debt to take a vacation. We have NEVER used credit to go on vacation. If we dont have the cash we dont go. I just thought if I get some good replies It would be easier to make a decision and I see that there are plenty of people out there for paying off the debt before going on vacation, and plenty of people saying go on vacation. I know that the loans will be here when we get back and as long as I dont default on loans just to go on vacation, then there wouldnt be a problem. HOWEVER, I would like to get the loans paid off and paid off quickly. So if DH and I decide to go on a vaca it wont be the end of the world, and if we dont, then we can take that money and pay some bills.

You took a vacation to WDW last year and you just paid off CCs with your tax refund this year. You may have used cash for the trip but in reality you did charge it.

Lets say you have $100 in cash. You go to the store and charge $100 in groceries and then walk to your travel agent and give them $100 cash for your trip. How can you think that you did not charge your trip?

 

[DISdreamin']

I get the feeling that people are thinking I want to go in debt to take a vacation. We have NEVER used credit to go on vacation. If we dont have the cash we dont go. I just thought if I get some good replies It would be easier to make a decision and I see that there are plenty of people out there for paying off the debt before going on vacation, and plenty of people saying go on vacation. I know that the loans will be here when we get back and as long as I dont default on loans just to go on vacation, then there wouldnt be a problem. HOWEVER, I would like to get the loans paid off and paid off quickly. So if DH and I decide to go on a vaca it wont be the end of the world, and if we dont, then we can take that money and pay some bills.

Honestly, debt is debt. The only one I put in a different category is a mortgage, since the time it takes to pay it off fully can be prohibitively long. I can't see a way to avoid that one - yet! But if I had other debt I'd pay it off, if at all possible, before splurging on a big vacation. A little vaca here and there for small $, yes. Spending thousands to go to WDW. Nope. JMHO, of course, but a personal loan or car loan...it's still debt. I'd attack it big-time before heading off on a vacation.

 

[DISdreamin']

You took a vacation to WDW last year and you just paid off CCs with your tax refund this year. You may have used cash for the trip but in reality you did charge it.

Lets say you have $100 in cash. You go to the store and charge $100 in groceries and then walk to your travel agent and give them $100 cash for your trip. How can you think that you did not charge your trip?

AMEN!

BTW, didn't realize the back-story about paying off CC with a tax refund recently. Yup, that would count as a vaca financed with a CC to me - I see it the same way as wdwfan does.

 

[MrsPete]

It depends on the type of debt and the % of the money available that servicing that debt entails.

A sensible comment. Most people have some debt; some of those people are in trouble, others aren't. A person who's already "spent" half his paycheck on mortgage-car-other-debt before it's earned probably shouldn't be planning a big, expensive vacation -- or any vacation beyond a small weekend here or there. On the other hand, a person who has steady employment and a manageable amount of debt should be able to enjoy a moderate vacation -- don't miss the adjectives in there. It's all about balance.

I was thinking the exact same thing. I understand I have a vehicle and personal loan on top of my mortgage, but honestly, how many people out there in the world dont have a vehicle loan?

I'm not sure that "I'm just like everyone else in today's world" is really a valid point. Between excessive mortgages with creative financing, new cars, student loans, credit cards and more . . . all too many Americans are in way over their heads financially these days. You've heard that thing about how the average American family is two paychecks away from falling behind on their bills? Let's not aim to be average.

I fully understand loans are necessary. So are vacations. So is sometimes telling people what they don't want to hear. . . . Wasn't flaming OP, wasn't flaming debt, just people who spend and borrow more than they can pay . . . IT WAS A GENERAL COMMENT about bad financial moves.

I totally agree with this. Most of us NEED to borrow. If we didn't, most of us would never own a home or cars -- at least not when we're young and just out of school. It takes time to establish yourself financially.

Here's where I think the problem is: In past generations people accepted that they had to borrow . . . but the goal was to pay off your house, your car, etc., to get out of debt and live debt-free. Today the thinking seems to be different. Today it's buy a starter house, then move up to something nicer, then something nicer yet . . . you're going to have payments all your life anyway, so make those payments on the nicest thing you can own. The concept of getting out of debt, of being 100% debt-free seems to be largely gone in today's world. Most people seem to think it's an unattainable goal.

You took a vacation to WDW last year and you just paid off CCs with your tax refund this year. You may have used cash for the trip but in reality you did charge it.

Lets say you have $100 in cash. You go to the store and charge $100 in groceries and then walk to your travel agent and give them $100 cash for your trip. How can you think that you did not charge your trip?

Yeah, if paying cash for your vacation means that you're now forced to charge groceries and gas . . . you really couldn't afford to pay cash for that vacation. You just chose to pay cash where it felt better. It's just semantics.

 

[daleswife]

You took a vacation to WDW last year and you just paid off CCs with your tax refund this year. You may have used cash for the trip but in reality you did charge it.

Lets say you have $100 in cash. You go to the store and charge $100 in groceries and then walk to your travel agent and give them $100 cash for your trip. How can you think that you did not charge your trip?

AMEN!

BTW, didn't realize the back-story about paying off CC with a tax refund recently. Yup, that would count as a vaca financed with a CC to me - I see it the same way as wdwfan does.

I dont see it that way. First off, We havent used credit cards in almost 5 years. were the balances high, YES they were, but we paid cash for the trip last year. Do I see that as financing a trip to disney, NO I dont. If you do thats your opinion. I did NOT go to the grocery store or any other store for that matter and use a credit card then go give cash to a travel agent, and it dont matter how you put it, It did NOT happen in any credit sort of way. Like I said, we cut up the cards almost 5 years ago and havent touched them since.

As mrspete says above if you are forced to use a credit card then yea I can see it being credit related, but I was not forced to use any sort of credit for anything in the past 4 1/2 years, so I dont think that is an accurate statement.

 

[sk!mom]

I may be in the minority here but I gotta tell you, vacations are really not what I remember about my mom.
I lost my mom due to cancer in my mid 20's. the stories my siblings and I swap are rarely about vacations, there are about the little day to day things that made my childhood and teen years great.

We talk about huge Christmas dinners over my grandparents. We laugh at the fact that my mom couldn't cook and we pretty much ate out every day of our lives except when my dad cooked (I grew up in Manhattan so eating out is not a big deal.) We talk about the great style my mom had and how we would dress up to go shopping on 5th ave.
We took family vacations (even to DL which was major since it was on the west coast and involved flying) but I'm always a little leary when I hear people say they need "vacations" to make memories or spend "quality" time with their families. why?

If I die, I don't want my sons to remember me by the trips to DW. I want them to remember the times I put on motown oldies and made every one dance in the family room, I want them to remember that I always made them open and hold the door for young ladies. stuff like that.

Very good post.

Since this is a vacation board, everyone one here loves vacations but vacationing often is not the reality for many people. Further, while vacations are enriching and full of fun memories they aren't essential to a happy life.

I'm blessed that I've been able to enjoy many wonderful vacations with my DH and children but I hope they will remember me for more than that. Today is a snow day- something that happens here very rarely- so we are still in oyr pjs, watching all of our favorite movies in front of a fire and eating junk food. Today is a day to make memories- the everyday kind that can happen a lot more often than once a year on vacation.

So no, skipping a vacation to pay your debts off is not cheating your kids. Vacations are not some sort of inalienable right. You and they will have a more comfortable life in the long run.

 

[WendyisDarling]

I dont see it that way. First off, We havent used credit cards in almost 5 years. were the balances high, YES they were, but we paid cash for the trip last year. Do I see that as financing a trip to disney, NO I dont. If you do thats your opinion. I did NOT go to the grocery store or any other store for that matter and use a credit card then go give cash to a travel agent, and it dont matter how you put it, It did NOT happen in any credit sort of way. Like I said, we cut up the cards almost 5 years ago and havent touched them since.

As mrspete says above if you are forced to use a credit card then yea I can see it being credit related, but I was not forced to use any sort of credit for anything in the past 4 1/2 years, so I dont think that is an accurate statement.

Regardless of everything, I want to congratulate you on giving up credit cards 5 years ago and now having them paid off. That is a really big accomplishment and I'm sure one many wish they could claim.
I'm sure it will be said you could have done it sooner, etc. etc.
It is still HUGE. Good for you! And you are motivated to continue paying down debt--just deciding the pace maybe. You deserve a pat on the back.

 

[avahoneybee]

I personally don't use a credit card for vacations, but I don't put anything on my credit card unless I can pay for it when the bill comes in.

If one needs to put a vacation on credit, one should probably evaluate their finances.

 

[Claire&TheBoys]

I guess I don't fit in here at the Bargain Board, because I do prioritize family time over debt. We do have a small amount of credit card debt and a car loan (both of which I could pay off out of savings if I wanted to, but I'd rather pay them monthly and have my savings cushion). We took 2 Disney vacations last year, one with 2 other families, one by ourselves. They are not part of that cc debt - they were paid at the time.

I place a high value on vacations together. One, it's about the only time my husband will take off work. He just doesn't take off a week to stay home and "staycation." Just won't happen. To get him away from work, he needs to be out of town. We live in a beach community and once or twice a year we'll load up the boys on a Saturday and go to the beach. My sister has a pool, my boys and I go there a couple of times a week, so getting a hotel for the sole purpose of having a pool doesn't hold any value to us. If we're at home, we have something on the schedule - family events, church events, school events. Going on vacation is being able to take a break.

Two, I was fortunate to be widely travelled as a child. Every couple of years we took month-long vacations in my grandparents' motorhome all across the USA and Canada. 7 people in a 25-ft motorhome for 30 days may not sound like fun to anyone else, but it was amazing. I have lots of memories of those trips and we still talk about them today. We also went to Disney World every year or two for a week (again, grandparents' motorhome at Fort Wilderness). I have seen a lot and I want my kids to see a lot too but I'm waiting for my youngest to get a bit older (he just turned 4).

Three, most of the time, I do not count it as a vacation to go see family. When we travel to see my husband's parents, we have to stay in a hotel and then spend 2-3 hours at a time sitting in their living room trying to keep our kids contained. It's stressful. This summer, I do plan for our big vacation to be a trip to see my brother's family in Oregon, but there's stuff to see there and do there, we won't be trapped in their house, so that counts as vacation in my book.

So, OP, while I don't think you OWE your kids a vacation, I don't think it's evil to want to give them some fun! I know that if I don't get out of town every once in awhile, I get cranky and pile in the van for a day trip to eat and shop in a nearby town. I just had a "girls' weekend" with my best friend.

We're not promised tomorrow. Many people plan and plan for that dream vacation that never happens. I don't want that to be me.

 

[Ka' eo]

daleswife, you asked a question and have gotten lots of thoughtful responses. Some you agree with and some you do not. People have an opinion, but none of us know your true circumstance.

You will never convince some folks that going on any vacation can be justified when you have a personal loan outstanding, me included. I am sure that there are people here who think no vacation should occur until there is zero debt, including mortgages and cars. However, that would probably be a small percentage of people, even here on the budget board.

Having a mortgage and car loan is fine (although I am thrilled not having a car payment). But you started this discussion asking if your children are going to be cheated by not taking a vacation, since you could wait and finish paying off your debt. Clearly they will not be harmed in any way and actually could benefit much more from your family's financial stability.

This personal loan you have could be a large figure. You have not told us the amount. You don't need to, but I for one wonder what would happen if something catastrophic happened tomorrow for you. What would happen if a job was lost or a serious disability occurred? Could you carry on paying the loan, the mortgage, the car and all your monthly bills? If so, for how long? You haven't said you have a savings or investment somewhere you could tap into. The unknown, the unforeseeable, is what makes this debt game people play so risky, and why there are so many people losing their homes, sapping the taxpayers and also why people here are giving sage advice about being prudent.

You don't have to take anyone's advice. You are a grown up and can do as you please. As someone earlier pointed out however, your instincts are telling you something, and why, I suspect, you posed the question to begin with.

If I were you. I would not take the vacation, pay off the personal loan, build up an emergency fund, start a savings and then take a trip in a few years to reward yourselves. Good luck with your decision!

 

[PaulaSue]

I don't think not taking a vacation is hurting your kids. I think taking one you can't afford is teaching them bad things though.

 

[shortbun]

your kids look really young; don't worry about it. Have family nights every week and get a movie from the library plus do homemade pizzas. Kids just want face time that is only theirs with parents. Isn't that really what it's all about?

 

[crisi]

I guess I don't fit in here at the Bargain Board, because I do prioritize family time over debt.

So does everyone else here. Some of us just don't think you need to spend a lot of money in order to create quality family time. You can staycation, or camp close to home, or visit relatives or friends or go to local attractions, or spend a cheap weekend at a hotel with a pool.