Do you think suicide is a selfish act?

[Lovely2CU]

...after reading the other thread on the "suicide jumper being pushed", with much disgust at some of the replies I might add, I wondered how many of you feel this act is selfish too?

so restore my faith in human nature please. Obviously, I don't think its selfish, not at all.

 

[ophelia]

I don't think it is selfish at all.

Here is a link to a good site that talks about suicide and the prevention of it:
http://www.suicide.org/index.html

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

It depends. If a guy kills his entire family and then turns the gun on himself because he doesn't want to go to prison..yes, it is a very selfish act. If the person is suffering from a mental illness, no.

 

[ophelia]

It depends. If a guy kills his entire family and then turns the gun on himself because he doesn't want to go to prison..yes, it is a very selfish act. If the person is suffering from a mental illness, no.

You're talking about a combined murder/suicide which is a totally different kettle of fish.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I think in most cases it is selfish, however deeply depressed people have no choice but to be very selfish most of the time. I don't think people are being intentionally selfish.

 

[m&m's mom]

I voted yes.
There was a neighbor 2 blocks away that shot herself to death supposedly over the family's financial situation.
She had a husband and 3 kids. One was college aged, one high school and one middle schooler. Now, her husband and the kids have to deal for more and no Mom to help.
Now there is a less expensive neighborhood close by. They could easily sold their house and moved to a cheaper place, lowered life style etc.
I know there is always more to the story but it makes me sick to think of her poor kids.
Oh yeah, she did it at the house so now no way anyone is going to buy that house.

 

[aristocatz]

I answered "somewhat." I have been suicidal at one point in my life. I think there is selfishness to thinking about doing it (especially if you have children to take care of), but I also think there is selfishness from loved ones in wanting to keep someone alive who just doesn't want to be here.

 

[Planogirl]

I think that intent is important. Does the suicidal person mean to be selfish? Or are they so despondent and in so much distress that they are not thinking clearly? I tend to believe the latter. Many depressed people just aren't thinking clearly IMO.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

You're talking about a combined murder/suicide which is a totally different kettle of fish.

Sorry...I read suicide, and that's what I answered about. But thanks for trying to speak for me.
Let me word for you. If someone is trying to avoid persecution for a crime against humanity..yes it is selfish.

 

[Robinrs]

As with anything it depends on the intention.

 

[wall*e2008]

I voted yes. You want to end your suffering but do not consider all those left behind that will have to deal with your loss and all the "what ifs" that they have.

Suicide needs to be taken seriously as it is a cry for help.

 

[Stitchfans]

I answered "somewhat." I have been suicidal at one point in my life. I think there is selfishness to thinking about doing it (especially if you have children to take care of), but I also think there is selfishness from loved ones in wanting to keep someone alive who just doesn't want to be here.

I also answered somewhat. IMO there is nothing worth killing yourself over. At least for me personally. But if someone is suffering from deep depression I think they are not thinking clearly and might feel that it is the best choice. I personally don't understand that way of thinking though.

My first thoughts are always about my DDs and DH and how whatever I say or do would effect them.

 

[krcit]

i think that intent is important. Does the suicidal person mean to be selfish? Or are they so despondent and in so much distress that they are not thinking clearly? I tend to believe the latter. Many depressed people just aren't thinking clearly imo.

ita

 

[Buckalew11]

I agree with the intent. For someone with mental illness, they can't see the forest for the trees. For someone who is trying to escape this life and has had all they can take, I think of it as a more selfish act. But very often when we are focused too much on ourselves is when depression can set in and so the ball starts to roll.

 

[ophelia]

Sorry...I read suicide, and that's what I answered about. But thanks for trying to speak for me.
Let me word for you. If someone is trying to avoid persecution for a crime against humanity..yes it is selfish.

No need to be rude.

 

[bumbershoot]

I think in most cases it is selfish, however deeply depressed people have no choice but to be very selfish most of the time. I don't think people are being intentionally selfish.

I think that's a good way of putting it.



At one point after my beloved mom died, I didn't care about life anymore. I was righteously depressed, I had something to be very sad about. I didn't have loved ones other than friends, really, no dependents, and it didn't seem like it would not matter if I drove into the Sound.

I knew that I needed to get out of town...get out or drive into that Sound. Then a job opportunity came up in West Virginia, so I got out of town!

Once I got out from the deepest of the grief (or rather, out of the all day every day part of the process...the grief still feels as deep, but it's not all the time, as you go further along) I realized that even though I had no dependents, I do have people who love me and would be very sad to see me go, especially so soon after my mom.

So during the time that I couldn't see that it would cause sorrow for others, YES, I was selfish, but I just didn't realize it at the time.


Hubby, before I knew him, hit absolute rock bottom, and it was actually a gun's misfire for the reason he's still around. As soon as the gun didn't go off, he realized what a selfish person he had been (and he sold his guns, a hobby all of his friends had been into since they were teens).

It was as though that moment lifted the depression he'd been living in (he had medicated, but the paxil caused even worst physical symptoms and made him MORE depressed...his MD wouldn't help him come off of them, so he endured getting off of Paxil cold turkey, but even those horrible symptoms weren't as bad as what was happening while he was on paxil), and he joined a gym, dropped a ton of weight, and he went forward from that. From that moment he realized how selfish he had been, to think that the pain inside was worse than the pain he would cause others, both to have him gone AND to find him dead.


I briefly read the thing about the guy in China, and it seemed that the guy chose a really bad spot to be "successful". It was only 26 feet, and while that *might* have killed him, I would think it would more likely just cause injuries he would have had to deal with for the rest of his life. Especially b/c they had an emergency air cushion there for him to land on...it was obvious that he was NOT going to actually be committing suicide by the...so to just drag it on was even worse than just going and doing it.

I know that sounds so heartless, but if you really put yourself at that scene...the authorities were there, there was nowhere where he was truly going to die (unlike that South Korean politician who jumped off a mountain the other day)...continuing on wasn't going to get him the results he seemed to want...and that was probably more selfish than the initial urge he had.

 

[Ohiodislover]

Not selfish, just not thinking clearly. Selfish has to have an intent. I don't feel a suicidal person has the INTENT of hurting others by their action.

 

[LoraJ]

I think in most cases it is selfish, however deeply depressed people have no choice but to be very selfish most of the time. I don't think people are being intentionally selfish.

I agree with this.

When I was in high school, I was riding home on the bus one day and this girl was hysterical crying. Everyone around her was trying to calm her down. This girl got off the bust with her at her stop to walk with her and make sure she was okay. Well when the girl got home, she took her father's gun and shot herself in the head. I don't know the full story of what she was upset about, but from what I heard it was about her boyfriend and him breaking up with her. She must have done it to get back at him, like "lets see if he cares about me now." But in the process she forever damaged her brother, who found her, and the girl who walked her home. She had a very hard time dealing with the fact that she was the last one to see her alive and felt she did not do enough. Not to mention how the rest of her friends and family felt not understanding why or what they could have done.

I was so angry about the whole thing, I refused to go to the funeral even though I knew her since first grade. It was so unnecessary. All I could think about was when we were in 3rd grade, and there was a huge storm outside and she clung to me saying over and over again "I don't want to die."

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

This makes me think about the little boy Carl that lived outside of Boston & killed himself because of the everyday bullying.......at 12 years old I don't think suicide was in any way selfish it was a release of pain a child could no longer withstand.
So very sad but I do think of his Mom having to cut him down from the extension cord & his sister that was in the house.
If anything good could come out of such a tragedy it's that his Mom is now speaking to other children & school officials bringing light to what a serious situation school bullying can be.

 

[Disney Doll]

I think sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.

Intent is the difference.

As a nurse, I have cared for many people who attempted suicide.

Some attempted as an attention-seeking behavior, the classic "my girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with me. I'll show her/him". They do something to attempt suicide, maybe not really meaning to, but they die anyway because they don't get "found" in time. Selfish.

Then there are the truly depressed, for whom life holds no happiness whatsoever. I don't think they see themselves as being selfish. I think they see themselves as doing everyone a favor. For those people, I'm not sure it's selfish and I always have very mixed emptions about forcing someone to stay alive who has never had a happy day in their life and there are people who are like that. It is unutterably sad.