Not a slam to you MrsPete, you are voicing what others have said. I don't have children of my own. So I am really asking if having a cell would give a child more comfort, worth, status, whatever than having a permanent address?
I'm not defending the cell phone as a priority -- just saying that it's how teenagers see things. They're kids. They aren't hard-wired to think long-term yet. If they did, every single one of them would do their homework every day, apply for scholarships, and work towards college degrees in profitable fields. Instead, many choose to drop out of school, smoke pot, and do other things that'll hold them back long-term -- because those things are fun TODAY. Teens don't necessarily see things the same way we do.
As for the question about teens and phones. A teen would not have any control over whether the family has a home and would not be able to change that situation. Being homeless or almost homeless makes that teen feel that they are very different from their peers. The one thing that all teens want is to feel that they are just like their friends and having a cell phone does that for them.
Also remember that a teen probably can't solve his family's housing problems by picking up a part-time job at McDonalds . . . but he probably CAN use that part-time job money to purchase a fancy phone, which'll make him feel like he is on top of things in that one area of his life. Again, I'm not defending that choice, but I do understand where he's coming from.
My Daughter is 11 years old and is in every sport imaginable and she NEEDS a phone. She has to ride the bus
I think the truth usually falls somewhere in between "no one NEEDS a cell phone" and "a child MUST HAVE THIS cell phone or our lives just won't work". There's a lot of space in between. If the phone was lost or broken, no one would stop breathing. If the cost suddenly soared to 10x its current level, you'd probably stop to consider whether it really is a need. The real "gotta have" level is somewhere between the extremes.
For middle class kids who are active in sports, etc, I suspect the truthful answer is, "This cell phone makes life so much easier for our family. It's an affordable item, and it's a choice my family has made." That's true for my family anyway.
Yes, my dh CAN be fired if he does not have a cell phone. He drives a truck and was told when he was hired that he is REQUIRED to have a cell phone.
Sounds perfectly reasonable . . . but I bet he's not asking someone else to pay his bills, is he? There's a huge difference between saying that a working adult needs basic communication and a kid needs a fancy Blackberry.
Since this is your attitude, then this is the wrong volunteering job for you.
It's like a teacher saying: "This kindergartner can't cut or color or draw or read." Uh, why do you think they are at school? To LEARN. And that's what your job is as a teacher.
Your job is as a resource provider. It's to educate. It's not to judge. If you are working in a place like that, you are already by definition working with people who are either uneducated about money, or have fallen on hard times by catastrophe and job loss.
Will it be easy? Absolutely not. But really, what did you expect when you went in there?
Totally disagree. She's not going in to just give these folks help today. She's trying to teach them to get out of their situation. They cannot do that without changing their current habits, the habits which clearly are not working.
Having an absolute rule of "you must cancel your cell to join our program" could drive otherwise suitable people away from your program, because doing away with their cell will cause more problems than it solves.
I can see that -- but if they're not willing to cut back on the cell phone bill, they have to cut back somewhere else. Sometimes it's easier to make a difficult cut if you realize you're choosing WHERE to make that cut.
Perhaps people in this program could understand better if they had all their expenses in front of them, and they were told that X amount had to be cut out. Will it come from the cell phone bill? Or will you slash entertainment expenses? Or will you cut back on the grocery bill? The numbers don't allow everything to stay -- which is the least painful for you to give up?
If that were true then we would all be bankrupt
Food costs have dropped as much as healthcare have risen for example. The biggest problem I see is the 21st century lifestyle. It is still easy to live a 70's lifestyle:
One car
1,000 SF house
No Starbucks, Ipod, cable, cell phones, vido games, DVDs, digital cameras, large screen TVs, computers, "organic" food, vacation at the relatives, no eating out except for birthdays, etc. etc.
Single income, 70's lifestyle (actually probably saved up to 90's now
), and proud of it
I agree. While some things have increased and there's no way around it (gas is another example, and the other poster didn't bring up everyone's least favorite topic: taxes), other things have gone down; for example, the internet has brought our postage costs down and has given us greater options for comparison buying.
While some things are worse for us today, by and large, the single biggest change in our family economics has been our personal spending choices.
Anyway- there tend to be two types of poverty. One is caused by a catastrophic life change-divorce, loss of income, medical expenses, what have you. These are the people most likely to dig their way back out of it. Then there are the folks who believe living off welfare and community action programs are a way of life- they learned it from their parents. It is much harder for these families, or their children, to get out of poverty. Many of them truly don't understand that the reason they have no money is because they need to 'Stop Acting Rich,' (which by the way is an excellent book by Thomas J. Stanley.)
This is true. I grew up poor -- very poor, especially as a teenager -- but we were "first generation poor", poor because of a life-changing event. We had the benefit of parents and grandparents who were working people and who didn't pass on a welfare mentality to us.
This reminds me of a story I heard lately about a lady in one of our programs. She works at a gas station. Coversationally, she told a volunteer she had always wanted to be a nurse. The volunteer responded, then you should be a nurse. She replied "I don't know how that happens." No on in her family went to college; she was a hard worker but just truly had no idea where to begin.
Makes me think about my cousin. He is just sitting around WAITING for something to happen to him. WAITING to get a good job, WAITING to become a homeowner, WAITING for his life to get going . . . we've all tried to help him set goals and do something with himself, but he seems to think that good jobs, etc. just sort of happen to lucky people, and he doesn't see himself as lucky. He has no concept of the in-between goals (take the SAT, apply to college, pass classes this semester, apply for internship . . . finally, a degree, then job interviews). He just thinks that one day the rest of us woke up and our lives were great.
Same cousin: He'd been out of work for some time, and he finally found another job. He was far behind on his electricity bill and a couple other things -- seriously behind. When he got his first paycheck, he "caught up" . . . wait for it, it's going to be bad . . . his cable TV bill. Yes, he let his electrical bill go, he didn't worry much about the rent or the water bill . . . but he "paid up" the cable TV bill. This is on the same level as the expensive phone plan for people who can't afford it. It's a lack of priorities, a lack of seeing the big picture!
