Do you punish for bad grades?

[Longsx3]

Our expectation of DD(14) is that she will receive A's, if for some reason she struggled in a class and did not we would not punish her unless the lower grade was a result of zeros. BTW DD also expects to earn A's.

For those that say their child is capable of A's but are okay with A's & B's with a few C's, why? Honestly I can't imagine this, first because for DD to get less than A's on a regular basis would mean she is simply not doing her work and second less than A's make her less competitive for the Universities she would like to go to.

 

[Feralpeg]

I never had a reason to punish over grades. DD was and is a perfectionist. She is her own worst critic. I can tell you several times, during her college years, getting panicked, crying phone calls because she feared she'd get a grade lower than an A. It drove me crazy. In almost every case, she pulled it out and ended up with all As.

Having a child who is manic over their grades can be almost as bad as having a child who doesn't care. Very stressful!

 

[Magpie]

Punish? Er well, not what I'd call it...

BUT...

Bad grade? That's a problem. You must need some extra time to study/less distractions. Does that mean less TV/Phone/electronics/Friend time? Yes, probably it does.

Until you master the skill, make up the missed work, get more organized or whatever else reason of the bad grade, these "distractions" won't be available to bother you.

Fun? no. Punishment? It might "feel" like it... but no, Not really.

This!

 

[Magpie]

Our expectation of DD(14) is that she will receive A's, if for some reason she struggled in a class and did not we would not punish her unless the lower grade was a result of zeros. BTW DD also expects to earn A's.

For those that say their child is capable of A's but are okay with A's & B's with a few C's, why? Honestly I can't imagine this, first because for DD to get less than A's on a regular basis would mean she is simply not doing her work and second less than A's make her less competitive for the Universities she would like to go to.

I'm one of those. My daughter is more than capable of making straight A's, but whether she does or not... I really don't care. I don't see it as my job to force her into a particular university. She's got an IQ in the 99.9-something percentile. She wants to be a doctor. If she chooses to get low grades and therefore goes to a "lesser" university, that's her problem, not mine. She's capable of understanding the consequences of not studying. I have complete faith in her ability to muddle through.

None of us do our best ALL the time. We all make choices. My daughter came to me several times last year after getting home from school and spontaneously hugged me. When I asked her why, she said, "I just want to thank you for not pushing me." And then she would explain that So-and-so cried today because she got an A-minus and her parents are going to be mad. Or some other child threw up on a test. Or one girl's grandfather says she's "stupid and worthless" because she isn't in the gifted program like her sister.

We expect our kid to turn her homework in. We sometimes cut back on computer privileges if we discover she's been blowing off her homework. We want her to try, and we encourage her participation in clubs. But grades? Meh. Quality of life matters more to me than achievement, and always has.

(Her brother's grades are another issue entirely, as he has a learning disability and some anxiety issues. My focus is getting him through to graduation without a complete meltdown.)

 

[Robindianne]

Never.

 

[loxie]

Im not there yet, however I was never punished for bad grades. I was however Paid for good ones.. On report cards I got $5 for every B, & $10 for every A...haha

 

[disfan07]

I was never punished for bad grades.

I know a lot of kids who were so like they would freak out if they got less than an A and guess what....they havent even graduated college yet adn are completley burnt out. Most of them were pretty burnt out before college. The more you push your child the faster they will burn out.

My parents let me know their expectations of me ( I was capable of straight As....never really happened) but they never punished me. Now I am a Junior at UC Irvine majoring in Psychology and Social behavior with plans to get my PhD in Developmental Psychology. I am on track to get As and Bs in my classes this quarter and I actually really enjoy my classes.

 

[DisneyScraps]

We haven't had a bad grade yet but I wouldn't punish for it if my DD did her best. I would work on her homework with her, that would be punishment enough!


In school I was a slacker, never studied, never did much if I could get away from it. Wish my Mom had taken more of an interest in my grades. All she cared about what that I graduate.


Lisa

 

[poeticdiabetic]

When there's a bad grade on a test, there's no punishment except more work in order to make sure that they learn the material. A bad grade is indicative of a problem.

We even had a big problem with my DS on a grade in middle school. We went to the class to meet the teacher, fixed the issue (teacher wasn't communicating it to where the DS will understand), changed his seating and he made A's the rest of the time.

My DW is on them like a slave-driver; making sure homework is done properly and neatly. She's checking their grades every week. The teachers know her by name. And she's even known to high school teachers and our kids aren't even there yet. (She's a well-known leader and volunteer in the school district.)