Do you punish for bad grades?

[VickiVM]

We don't punish for bad grades - we punish (remove privileges) for poor choices that lead to the bad grades. We always make the discipline action a consequence of their poor choices. With parent portal, it's so easy to see if they're doing the work.

 

[Robinrs]

No my son punishes himself enough for both of us!

 

[punkin]

No my son punishes himself enough for both of us!

I hear you. My kids really do think a C is a failing grade.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

For individual bad grades, like one test? No. We just harass our kids about what they did wrong and help them prepare for the next one of those assessments, etc., so they do better next time.

If it becomes a recurring problem, then we would take some time of corrective action to prevent the bad grades in the future.

I think the bad grade is punishment enough, really.

 

[Polyluvr]

No, we don't punish- saying we're dissapointed is usually more than enough

My parents punished and I'm not putting my kids through that.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

DD got punished big time when she was in probably third or fourth grade for getting a 10. Yep a 10. Not a 10 out of 10 either, but a 10 out of a possible 100. The hammer fell and she hasn't brought home a 10 again. Part of the reason I freaked was because DD was going through a phase where she rushed through everything to be the first done, so she'd look like the smartest one. That didn't work too well, huh?

Anyway, since then her punishments consist of shutting off the TV during homework time, taking away her cell while she's doing homework/studying, and spending extra time on a particular subject.

 

[Becky2005]

Nope, I don't punish for bad grades because what is a "bad" grade anyway? I know I worked my behind off for a D in Geometry in school & really, really tried but I could get an A in another class without hardly cracking open the book.

So...hmmm...which one did I get more out of? The one I had to really work at or the one that I just sat there and absored it easily enough? Not that I could tell you anything about Geometry because I've never needed to know anything about an equalaterial triangle since I've been out of High School or the theories either.

In our school, you can't really do any extra curricular activities if your grades are bad, so it's a basic incentive as it is. It applies to more than just sports.

I expect them to do their best but at some point it's their responsibility to get their grades. My parents never paid any attention to our grades, other than to look at them once our report cards came in. We all seemed to turn out into productive citizens and not bums living under a bridge somewhere (so far anyway! ).

 

[jamimb]

My DD (14) brought home 2 c's on her report card a few weeks ago. She is very capable of bring home straight A's so we took away her distractions (cell phone and Ipod) Guess what she now has straight A's. Those devices are a privilege not a right. Her main job at this age is to do well in school. We know what she is capable of so if she does not maintain her grades (A's and B's) she gets privileges and distractions (like boyfriend time) taken away from her.

 

[Rora]

As a 3rd grade teacher, student, and (hopefully) a future mother.. I will never punish for bad grades. IMO, a bad grade=your punishment.

However, if my child got a bad grade because he purposefully chose not to study, not to do homework, etc, then I would probably take something away (XBOX, computer).

If my child truly didn't do well, I'd get her some extra help and work on homework/studying together.

 

[ccgirl]

Absolutely. And she is only in 2nd grade. Anything lower than a B is considered a poor grade. I will say we review the comments as well though. If there is a negative comment that accompanies a grade (regardless if it is an A or F) there are consequences. However, if there is a positive comment that accompanies the poor grade we will have a discussion about what kind of assistance she needs to do better. I might get flamed, but in my house a C is considered a bad grade. If I thought a C was her best, it would be one thing but my DD is definitely capable of more than average work. Being average in life won't get you very far.

That's just my opinion. Heck, we got a note home today that she has a silent lunch tomorrow and has to sit at a table by herself during lunch because she was talking after repeated warnings. At her school the first 10 minutes of lunch is silent so the kids will eat. After that, they can talk for 15 minutes. She is losing all privileges at home for tonight as a result of that.

My inlaws think we are too strict. One of their sons was expelled from school. Ummm...maybe they should have been a little more strict???

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

We never really punished for bad grades, but definetly for 0's. However, my ds hated school because he was dyslexic and had adhd. He finally realized that he would have to show me homework so he became very creative--- he threw away the real hw and created his own, he'd get notes from the "teachers" saying there was no hw-- stuff like that and he would get punished for it.

We worked with him tons and got him tutors. His thinking was he could quit school at 16--- --- not in my house dude. He started getting better when his school put grades online. He started doing his work but would still have all these 0's from not turning it in. At this point he had a job-- we started charging him $20 for every 0-- he made this deal at a teacher conference night knowing he would have 0's but trying to convince us he didn't. I was paying tuition for his school, he ended up doing bad in 2 classes so I broke it down and charged him tuition for those 2 classes that semester. I even made him a payment plan instead of taking all his money. He would get about 40% of his check and I would get the rest. This was the best thing--- it finally hit home. Not long after that the school starting letting the kids see the grades online--- that really made it sink in and we went about 2 years w/o a teacher conference because suddenly he was on the principal's list and getting 2nd honors. Now he's a freshman in college.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

Yes, I punish. I take away the Ipod, TV, computer, phone, etc. for a certain short period of time (usually a week or less).

My kids have excellent grades, however, so this doesn't happen often. Yhey know how important their education is!

 

[descovy]

Punish? Er well, not what I'd call it...

BUT...

Bad grade? That's a problem. You must need some extra time to study/less distractions. Does that mean less TV/Phone/electronics/Friend time? Yes, probably it does.

Until you master the skill, make up the missed work, get more organized or whatever else reason of the bad grade, these "distractions" won't be available to bother you.

Fun? no. Punishment? It might "feel" like it... but no, Not really.

 

[PrincessDana]

See I find this strange (but I know a lot of parents who agree with you so maybe I'm the strange one). My kids are also capable of straight As, but I would never punish them for not achieving them consistently. There are always other factors.

I guess I'm not sure what the "other factors" might be...

However, now I feel strange because in my mind....removal of privileges equals punishment. My "punishments" for my teenager include taking away cell phone, going out with friends. I guess in my mind they were one and the same.

 

[onelilspark]

My parents punished for some bad grades. If we earned the poor grade by not completing assignments, not studying, etc, then yep...we had everything taken away for X amount of time.

Now, if we studied, turned everything in on time, etc but still got a poor grade (which in my house was anything lower than a B!) then there was no punishment. I took AP US History in HS and managed to squeak by with a C. My parents were OK with it because I worked my butt off in that class. I also had a hard time with Foreign Languages, but again, it was something I just didn't "get" so I wasn't punished.

We were paid for good grades and extra for being on honor roll.

 

[punkin]

I guess I'm not sure what the "other factors" might be...

However, now I feel strange because in my mind....removal of privileges equals punishment. My "punishments" for my teenager include taking away cell phone, going out with friends. I guess in my mind they were one and the same.

I'm sorry. I did not mean to make you feel "strange." Like I said, I don't punish.

My DD11 (the older one is in college so not really part of the discussion anymore) usually does her homework on the floor in front of the TV or while on the phone with friends, or on facebook. She usually does not bring home anything lower than a B anyway. If she starts bringing home Cs, I generally sit with her and help her with homework. Of course this means no TV and no friends until I am satisfied she knows her work. Obviously she avoids my help like the plague, but I still don't consider it punishment.

I also think that a B is a pretty good grade.

 

[mickeywho?]

My DS13 is driving me crazy right now....

Bright, in the gifted program at school, can achieve an A in most classes with some effort and focus. The problem with him is he's been lacking that effort and focus since school began this year. We went through this with him last year and despite punishments and threats it was more like banging our heads against a brick wall.

This year his teachers send home a weekly "Friday File" with all test/quizzes and assignment marks for that week. So, we're trying something new...rewards instead of punishment.
He's been complaining for the last couple of weeks that he never has time to wind down and have time to himself and play Xbox or whatever on the weekends. Not sure where that comes from...he seems to always be enjoying downtime! So his weekly reward is "downtime" to do with as he wants. For every A (80%+) he brings home on Friday he gets an hour for an A+ (90%+) he gets two hours. He's quite capable of getting these marks so all he has to do is put in some effort to keep himself on track. If we knew he was having problems with a particular class we'd find him some additional help and still allow him some reward if he was doing his best obviously. Of course, with no effort, it's hard to see which classes he could use that extra help at this point!

The best part is he totally agrees with this! He was headed downstairs to put some study materials away in his backpack when we stopped him and had this chat. Well after we all agreed with this new system he happily skipped (ok - that's a stretch - he is 13) back up to his desk to get back to studying. Wow!!
Let's see how long this lasts... At least I won't be policing him on a daily basis. I want him to make his own decisions. But I can still keep track weekly so there are no surprises on the report card. Fingers crossed. No easy answers that's for sure....

 

[smb6]

I have zero tolerance for zero's. My kids know that they will get in big trouble for a zero. Otherwise-no. But I do reward good grades on report cards, so they certainly have incentive to do well.

 

[jacksmom]

We definetaly punish for bad grades! But, do reward really well for good grades(we find that more effective)! Last year ds did not like his teachers, classes, etc and had a bad year in 7th grade! For whatever reasonHe has decided to do better this year in 8th grade! He has always been an A/B student with very little effort (except for last year)! And this year he is back to A/B's! Do not really understand why and what went wrong last year (even after 3 conferences with teachers) ??? But so glad he is back on track this year we are really rewarding his achievements!

 

[golfgal]

We definetaly punish for bad grades! But, do reward really well for good grades(we find that more effective)! Last year ds did not like his teachers, classes, etc and had a bad year in 7th grade! For whatever reasonHe has decided to do better this year in 8th grade! He has always been an A/B student with very little effort (except for last year)! And this year he is back to A/B's! Do not really understand why and what went wrong last year (even after 3 conferences with teachers) ??? But so glad he is back on track this year we are really rewarding his achievements!

I can tell you why, because.... That's it, because

I could always tell how much DS18 liked his teachers by the grades he got in the classes. VERY frustrating.