Do you pressure your kids...

[Pin Wizard]

to get good grades? My exterminator was here this morning and we were talking about the kids and school. He mentioned that his son is a straight "A" student. When he came home with his grades, he had a "B" in one class. I'm not sure what his reaction was, but my exterminator said he had kept a listing of his son's grades and called the school. He mentioned his records of grades to the guidance counselor who quickly chewed him out for putting pressure on his son. It turned out that in this class the kid had something like a 3.98 average. He since had another test which he got 100 on, and his grade is now an "A". How many of us are (at first) disappointed when seeing an 88 or an 82 or an 80? What about a "C"? When my son was in first grade, his teacher told the class that if they received a "C", they failed!

 

[RoqueC]

School is important, but I wouldn't suggest pressuring anybody. Just show them the consequences....

 

[Kermit]

No kids yet, but my opinion is that you should hold your kids to whatever grade they're capable of receiving. If your child can make A's easily, then there's no good reason to not say anything at all if the child brings home a B just because a B is great for most kids. Obviously, you shouldn't be mean to the child, but you can ask questions and see if they need extra help or just didn't complete all necessary assignments.

My sister and I were both really good students, and there was one teacher we both had who gave our family a lot of grief because of his beliefs that no one should expect to always make As. It was our 8th grade American History teacher. He once gave my class an opportunity to do extra credit work after we finished a test. It was a simple map coloring assignment, and instead of making it be one of those extra credit assignments where the teacher tacks on extra points to a grade, he graded it like a normal assignment, assuming most of us would do better on the coloring assignment than on normal class work. However, I cleverly forgot to label the Atlantic Ocean and got a B. I went up to his desk and quietly asked if he would throw it out for me since I had a 99 average before I completed this <i>optional</i> assignment, and he went in front of the class and told everyone how I should be grateful for a B. He made fun of me in front of everyone. Needless to say, I was not impressed, and he didn't convince me. Two years later when my sister had him, he did something similar to her, but he chose to also call my mom and tell her that she and my dad were way too hard on their kids.

My point is that every child is different, and as long as the parents aren't putting pressure their children that's causing them undue stress, I don't have a problem with parents expecting straight As.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

I don't pressure, I "strongly encourage."

My son knows that his grades are important, and he knows that we would be disappointed with anything less than a B because we know what he is capable of achieving. More importantly, though, he would be disappointed in himself.

In the future, if he's anything like his mama, higher math will give him a problem. At that point I will be happy if he works hard and is able to get a C or better.

 

[janette]

Kermit said it well, I expect what they are capable of.

My 11yo, 5th grader report card has all A's. She's is in an accelerated program and for the most part isn't working really hard for those A's. I do expect her to make an A.

My 8yo, 2nd grader has 1 A, 4 B's and 1 C. She has a reading disability and does some modified classwork. Her A was in math, where she is not doing modified classwork. She does her best, I don't expect an A but I expect her best.

 

[WDW2002]

I expect my kids to do well in school. They know I expect them to bring home good grades.

 

[Wagamama]

I'm really sorry to go off the subject here, but i read the post title really fast and this is what I saw, "do you pressure cook your kids?" I must really be tired!! Again, sorry for going off topic.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by Wagamama
I'm really sorry to go off the subject here, but i read the post title really fast and this is what I saw, "do you pressure cook your kids?" I must really be tired!! Again, sorry for going off topic.

ROFLMAO!

 

[JESW]

My kids are still young - 3 & 7 - so there isn't much pressure. When 7 yo DS finishes his homework I ask him - Is that your best work? If it is, then I am happy. There have been times when he's gone back and corrected things on his own because he didn't think it was his best. (I have to watch him because he tries to do things quickly so he can go off and do what he really wants to do..)

Jill....who is off to the bus stop soon

 

[Serena]

I want my girls to do the best they can do. If that's an A, I expect it, if it's a D. I encourage them, nothing more.

 

[Cindy B]

I expect the kids to do as well as they possibly can.

I lived with a father that C was failing... that was fine because I always made honor roll.

I've had teachers in the past, whose position was I don't give 100's out to anyone because no one is perfect.

I expect my kids to do their best. I have seen some of my sons homework, just rushed... so I tell him "Is that the best?"

 

[kinlaw6450]

My 2nd grader does it to herself. She constantly talks about how she can't wait to see her report card with all the A's on it. Last night I went in to check on her and she had finished her homework for the week. She said, Isn't it better that I do everything early in the week so I don't have to worry about it later?? Wow! How'd I get so lucky!!

Now DS is a different story...he is up for child study this week. He is trying very hard but fine motor is bad so writing is difficult. He is finally starting to read though!! Makes him proud when he can read his little books (and me too!) so he will not be pushed at least not to the extreme. I believe he is doing the best he can right now.

 

[Amy]

When I was growing up, nothing I ever did was good enough for my parents. I got straight A's my senior year in high school and finished 4th in my class. Know what my parents said? "Why weren't you 3rd?" I remember how much that hurt when I did my best and it wasn't good enough for them, and I swore not to do that to my kids.

DS12 is extremely bright, gets straight A's without trying too hard, so he's pretty easy. DS10 is another story - he HATES school and he HATES to read. Homework is a source of stress in our family because of this. He's good with science and math, but reading is difficult. Because we have to be so involved with his homework, we can see whether he's really trying or just doesn't care.

So I agree with the others: as long as my kids are doing their best, I'm ok with their grades, as long as they're not failing.

 

[RUDisney]

I encourage my kids. So far, DS hasn't gotten less than 100% on his tests. He is so much like me, even though we adopted him, its scary. I know that there will be hills and valleys along the way, and that we'll discuss anything that goes astray, but he motivates himself to succeed, far more than I do.

My DD, OTOH, is just happy. She's in K now and is sort of floating through. She's alot like my sister was... not a care in the world... just happy. Heaven only knows how she will do next year when the grading starts. I give her homework every night from a K activity book that we bought for her. Lately, she's been surprising me with what she's retaining. I only ask that she do her best.

P.S. My sister is the principal of her school now, so happiness and floating didn't do her too much harm. She knew everything would work out in the end, and it did for her. Kept my Mom up alot, though, when she was growing up.

 

[jldriscoll]

Originally posted by janette
Kermit said it well, I expect what they are capable of.

This is my feeling too!

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by Amy
When I was growing up, nothing I ever did was good enough for my parents. I got straight A's my senior year in high school and finished 4th in my class. Know what my parents said? "Why weren't you 3rd?" I remember how much that hurt when I did my best and it wasn't good enough for them, and I swore not to do that to my kids.

Wow! Math was always tough for me. I remember when I once brought home an "A" on a math test and showed it to my dad. He said...that's how it should be done all the time! Not even a pat on the back. I remember how disappointed I was and I didn't feel very special. I also won't do that to DS. He gets praise all the time.

 

[jsmith]

My boys do a good enough job of pressuring themselves-My older son can not stand to be second best at anything so he pushes himself-the second one does not mind begin second as long as he feels he did his best-they both pretty much consider a B personal failure so pressure is not needed. I probably have put some pressure on my older son to strive to be valedictorian of his class but more because I am so proud of his accomplishments than because I expect it of him.

 

[christineann]

oops - duplicate post

 

[christineann]

My kids are in 12th and 9th grades, and I expect them to do their best - that's all I ask of them. If only I could find a way to combat senioritis!