Do you play "devil's advocate" on the Dis?

[Stitchfans]

I don't play devil's advocate. I state my opinion.

With regard to thanking people for gifts, I think parents who don't teach their children to do so are doing their children a big disservice.

And as far as the reasons to buy someone a gift....well, yes, the reason I buy someone a gift is because I want to, but if it happens repeatedly that I am not getting a simple "thank you" in some form(verbal, text, email, note), I'm going to stop wanting to buy that person a gift.

ITA

It appears there are some people here who just like to disagree and

 

[WDSearcher]

I occasionally play devil's advocate, usually when people start posting grand generalizations (like, "everyone here is coming down on me for trying to be nice" :: pouty face :: ). When stuff like that happens, I'm more likely to respond with, "Really? EVERYONE is coming down on you? I count at least a dozen responses in your favor and, really, explain how your OP shows you as being "nice" -- you didn't really explain the whole thing until post #25."

Yes, I know ... too much time on my hands. But sometimes I read stuff that just makes me shake my head in disbelief, and I have this weird need to ask, "Really? That's REALLY how you feel?" So ... yeah ... I have been the devil's advocate on occasion.

As for saying please & thank you ... I always do. Always have. And while it's frustrating when people don't, I do tend to hold actions as stronger than words. If the person in question is, by all other marks, a great friend -- there when you need them, the type of person who would pick you up in the middle of the night if you came in on the red-eye, shows up with chicken soup when you're sick, etc -- then I can forgive a missed "Thank you". I try to look at the whole person, not just whether or not his parents were diligent about manners.

 

[LoserMomma]

I don't know about devil's advocate, but I know that I have been rolling my eyes so hard they hurt more and more at the increased levels of stupidity I see on the Dis. I read the thread titles and just turn the board off.It's amazing how anyone can make it a day without asking advice about the most basic of things.

Please and thank you? If you're not teaching your kids basic manners, you're either the most self centered human on the face of the earth and are training your children to follow in your footsteps or you're a lazy parent.

 

[mrodgers]

I don't know about devil's advocate, but I know that I have been rolling my eyes so hard they hurt more and more at the increased levels of stupidity I see on the Dis. I read the thread titles and just turn the board off.It's amazing how anyone can make it a day without asking advice about the most basic of things.

This drives me crazy here. Just read someone got an ice cream maker and is now asking the cheapest place to buy heavy cream? Really? You supposedly go to Disney for vacation, yet you can't just buy a carton of heavy cream for less than $2 and you need to find a bargain before you will buy it?

How many times per day does multiple threads pop up with people asking what prepaid cell phone to buy for their kid?

How many "legal advice" or "medical advice" is asked on this forum? Here's my legal advice, call a lawyer. And my medical advice, call a doctor. Legal and medical issues isn't like car or house repair where every single person on this forum would be able to do if they would put their mind to it.

There has been a few questions that were so stupidly simple or so full of common sense that I did post a "let me google that for you" link to. I mean they were really really stupid questions.

I do just post my honest opinions though. Should I lease? Absolutely not. That is the most expensive way to own a vehicle. Should I buy new? Again, absolutely not, the 2nd most expensive way to own a vehicle. Should places be open on Christmas? After all, not everyone celebrates Christmas. If that is the case, then why are all these people who don't celebrate Christmas off on Christmas? They say don't get a job where you know you will be working Christmas, I say, if you don't celebrate Christmas, then don't get a job where you know you'll be off.

 

[ilovemk76]

I do not plays devil's advocate. I state my opinion and it may not be what the OP wanted me to say but I will not agree just to agree.

A thank you is a must for us. If you take our gifts as an obligation on our part we will accidentally forget your gift next year.

I have missed a few good threads it seems. I was too busy "making merry".

I don't know about devil's advocate, but I know that I have been rolling my eyes so hard they hurt more and more at the increased levels of stupidity I see on the Dis. I read the thread titles and just turn the board off.It's amazing how anyone can make it a day without asking advice about the most basic of things.

Please and thank you? If you're not teaching your kids basic manners, you're either the most self centered human on the face of the earth and are training your children to follow in your footsteps or you're a lazy parent.

I totally agree!!!!

 

[Lanshark]

I have learned, through the years, that no matter what statement is made on the DIS, someone will argue the other side. I don't have the time or the energy for that.
I teach middle school and have two grown children. I value manners very highly.

 

[KennesawNemo]

I have learned, through the years, that no matter what statement is made on the DIS, someone will argue the other side. I don't have the time or the energy for that.
I teach middle school and have two grown children. I value manners very highly.

For me, When an argument is still making sense, I'll participate and respond. Whenever people loose logic and basic sense, I'll stop and let him think he wins.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

This drives me crazy here. Just read someone got an ice cream maker and is now asking the cheapest place to buy heavy cream? Really? You supposedly go to Disney for vacation, yet you can't just buy a carton of heavy cream for less than $2 and you need to find a bargain before you will buy it?

Just playing Devil's Advocate here, but maybe the way they can afford to go to Disney is to be cheap in all other aspects of life

I do just post my honest opinions though. Should I lease? Absolutely not. That is the most expensive way to own a vehicle. Should I buy new? Again, absolutely not, the 2nd most expensive way to own a vehicle.

You're dead on with leasing, but things have changed a lot in the new car vs. used car debate. There's been a real shortage of used cars in the past few years (due primarily to low sales of new cars, but also from the cash for clunkers program) & it has driven up the price of late-model used cars. We were recently looking at 2-year-old cars & brand new leftover 2012 models. The 2012's with zero miles are heavily discounted & come with a rebate, so the net price is ~$3,000 more than the 2-year-old cars with 25,000 miles on them. The 2012's also come with 0% financing & because they're new, we can get close to a $2,000 discount with the points on our GM card. So, for an extra grand, I can get a brand new car & finance it at 0%. If I took a loan on the used car, it would end up costing me MORE in the long run, and have the miles on it to boot. So bottom line is that there is no longer the absolute rule when it comes to new vs. used anymore. In some cases it makes more sense, in others it does not. Buyer beware

But to get back on topic, I always say please & thank you, and expect my kids to do the same

 

[hidmickey:myantidrug]

For me, When an argument is still making sense, I'll participate and respond. Whenever people loose logic and basic sense, I'll stop and let him think he wins.

This is me. I'll play devils advocate from time to time if a debate/discussion is still in a reasonable place that hasn't descended to useless arguing. If/when I do, though, I always preface it with "to play devil's advocate..." or something to that effect, typically after I state my opinion. I teach middle school and high school English so a lot of the time it's my duty to play devil's advocate to get the students to think outside their box, and that discussion behavior often translates to out-of-classroom conversation, including on the DIS. I think someone presenting a legitimate opposing view can bring out great, enhanced conversation. But as pp said, once the thread has gone from a conversation to a useless fight, I'm out. No point in getting involved in that. There's a difference between being a devil's advocate and being a pain in the, um, bum.

And yes, I say please, thank you, sorry, and excuse me.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Yep sometimes I play devil's advocate. No apologies, no hiding.

As for, please, thank you, etc., yes I've taught my child she should be grateful and thankful. But I also know that if I hold the door open for someone, let them go ahead of me, etc, yes I'm perturbed when they don't bother to say thank you. Now should I stop being nice because they're rude? No, but I'm tempted sometimes.

I think sometimes it's a matter of perspective and seeing things from a different point of view (here comes the devil's advocate).

You're in an elevator with 4 other people and you see someone coming. The doors begin to shut. Do you push the button to hold the door open? I would normally say yes, absolutely, until someone pointed out to me that while I was being considerate of one person, I was inconveniencing 4 others. Hadn't quite ever looked at it like that. Just something to think about.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

You're in an elevator with 4 other people and you see someone coming. The doors begin to shut. Do you push the button to hold the door open? I would normally say yes, absolutely, until someone pointed out to me that while I was being considerate of one person, I was inconveniencing 4 others. Hadn't quite ever looked at it like that. Just something to think about.

OTOH, you're inconveniencing those four for 3-4 seconds while saving the 1 at least 10 times that amount of time. And no, I don't push the button - I'm more a "stick your arm out & block open the door" kind of guy

 

[2girls4me]

My children know their are supposed to say thank you. It's just common sense.

 

[ebtbmom]

I'm hoping that some people are playing Devil's Advocate on these boards. I started a thread on the planning board about a kid who threw up all over himself and the sidewalk while waiting for the parade to start during MVMCP. His parents kind of wiped him down like you would a child who dropped food on his shirt, threw a poncho over the vomit puddle, and they all just sat there - smelling of vomit. It was less than pleasant for those of us around him. Most people on the thread agreed that he should have been cleaned up better, possibly have left, and that it is inconsiderate to the people around them to have to smell vomit during the parade and the 20 minutes leading up to the parade. Then, there were other people who said that everyone who was bothered by the smell should have been the ones to move - not the family who smelled of vomit - and that we should have volunteered to help clean up the child.

Instead of coming on here and bad mouthing the mom why couldn't you feel sorry for the child and offer to clean him up, buy new clothes, and leave your parade spot to search out a CM for clean up!



I didn't post on that because by the time I read over the thread it had gotten beyond ridiculous.

Sometimes it seems that people here will argue about anything, the sky is blue: yes or no?

I'm not one to play devil's advocate. I also don't think it's bad to come on here and talk about people and you know, actually discuss things since this is a discussion board.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

Instead of coming on here and bad mouthing the mom why couldn't you feel sorry for the child and offer to clean him up, buy new clothes, and leave your parade spot to search out a CM for clean up!



I didn't post on that because by the time I read over the thread it had gotten beyond ridiculous.

Sometimes it seems that people here will argue about anything, the sky is blue: yes or no?

I'm not one to play devil's advocate. I also don't think it's bad to come on here and talk about people and you, actually discuss things since this is a discussion board.

I probably should have bought him a meal, too. You know, to make up for the one he was now wearing and sitting on.

 

[aaarcher86]

OTOH, you're inconveniencing those four for 3-4 seconds while saving the 1 at least 10 times that amount of time. And no, I don't push the button - I'm more a "stick your arm out & block open the door" kind of guy

Thank you kind sir!

I've gotten into a few slap fests with elevator doors.... and they ain't pretty!

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Thank you kind sir!

I've gotten into a few slap fests with elevator doors.... and they ain't pretty!

Those doors take NO pity on ya, that's for certain

 

[aaarcher86]

Those doors take NO pity on ya, that's for certain

There's always that second or two of fear where I think they aren't going to re-open and I'll be crushed. Fingers crossed no one captures that moment on film.

 

[tvguy]

No, I don't play devil's advocate. I don't get involved in many arguments on message boards, I state my opinion and move on. Honestly, I don't have the time or desire to pick a position and argue it just for the sake of debate.

When I see a thread where everyone is ganging up on a poster, for something that is truly not offensive, (no clear right or wrong) I will post telling that poster not to worry about what others think and to do what is right for them, even if it is something I wouldn't necessarily do. (Example - renting a stroller for a 5 y/o.) However, I don't get involved with trying to change the minds of others.

Also, if you are a regular here on the Dis, and are able to retain what you read, you know which posters play devil's advocate, which one like to get a rise out of people and go for shock value, who is wishy washy and agrees with every post they read, and those who are experts in everything. And some posters are either very moody and change their positions with the wind, or fall for mob mentality, because when the same subject comes up with very similar circumstances in different threads, they go along with what the opinion of the majority. (Example - family squabbles - I would never put up with that, stop being a doormat, doesn't matter if they're family, you should cut them out of your life, to a complete 180 of... It's family, you really need to make amends, is this the legacy you want to leave, etc.

Of course, then there's the rest of us, the majority, posters looking to connect with others with something in common, wanting to be heard, who enjoy learning about the lives and opinions of others.


As for manners, they are important to me, and I have taught my children well.

Certainly nothing wrong with being civil. But this is a Discussion board, and by defination that indicates an ongoing exchange of dffering ideas. I'll be honest, I learn a lot from those folks with different opinions than mine. But yes, I do get mad when people are uncivil, or even worse, dispute facts.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Here on the Internet, it's not call "devil's advocate", it's called trolling.

 

[disneydee6]

I try not to play devils advocate, only because there are so many on the boards willing to do it!

And most of the time, I find that many are a little too brazen with their answers, maybe just a "I see what you are saying but..." or "I understand why that got you upset but perhaps..." would make a difference. Most people turn to the boards for support or advice, and when you have too many willing to 'see the other side of the argument,' the OP may feel disheartened or get defensive and thats when you usually see a thread take a .

Not saying that you should just agree with the person to be nice, devils advocate helps (trust me, my sister is always willing to be that voice). Sometimes you need to get a different perspective.

I dunno, for me, I think people are usually more willing to hear someone out and agree when there isn't a screen between them. One of my best friends always likes to fight via text, says really nasty things that if she would never dare to say if we were face to face or even on the phone. And I think that holds true for a lot of people. There are a lot that are 'modest' devils advocates, who respectfully disagree, but there are also a few rude devils advocates, and disagree just to stir the pot.

Guess I am playing devils advocate for this thread.