Do you pay your oldest child to "babysit" his/her siblings?

[Grendalynn]

I have been wondering.... do you pay your child when they watch/babysit their younger siblings?

I am headed back to school soon and the next few weeks I will be working while the kids are still home on summer break... My oldest has "babysat" off and on all summer, when I'd go grocery shopping, run to the store or for an appointment or something. Now that I am headed back to work a little more regularly, and am leaving oldest DS in charge (who is super responsible and mature BTW and younger brothers respect him and behave really pretty well).... I wonder if I should be compensating him for his work and if so - how much?

Please no flaming on me leaving my kids home unattended, why you dont leave your kids home alone and if you think I'm a horrible mother or not. Thats not up for debate here. We have a great neighborhood, DH is only a few miles away, and we have had strict rules set up since the get-go.

Thanks in advance!

 

[scrapquitler]

I have been wondering.... do you pay your child when they watch/babysit their younger siblings?

Yes. My DD will be 15 in October. DS is 8. We made her take the Red Cross Babysitting class when she was 11 or 12, and at that point we started letting her babysit for her brother for short periods of time. Now she babysits for him whenever we want to go out to eat, hit a movie or whatever. We do pay her because we feel that it's only fair. She gets $5. an hour. She just recently bought herself a new laptop.

 

[Hannathy]

For something like while I was at work, or to go out, yes I paid her. To run to the bank or pick up her Dad at work, run to get milk, etc then no.

 

[ancestry]

Absolutely not. Watching younger siblings is part of being a part of a family. My kids do not get paid for chores or good grades either. I have a real problem with paying kids to do what is expected of them. We are all a part of this family. Everyone is expected to help out and pitch in a variety of ways -- without expecting to be compensated for it.

 

[susykt4]

I think all-day babysitting IS a job and NOT a family duty. My kids are too close in age and the younger one's more responsible anyway, so nobody gets paid in my family. However, when I was a kid, my brothers were 6 and 10 years younger and my parents did pay me if they went out for the night or were gone for the day. A trip to the grocery or the bank was not compensated- that was my family duty. I think you could pay a 12-yr-old maybe $10 a day or something. That would add up pretty fast for a kid that age. If he was older you might have to pay him more since a day with his friends would probably be more appealing than ten bucks. I don't think he needs $5 an hour, though!

 

[stsomewhere]

I paid my son to watch his sister. I paid him $3 an hour.

 

[GoofyMomInOhio]

Since my older two are close in age and my youngest is 8, we pay them all. We divide what we would pay a babysitter by 3. We joke that we pay them not to kill each other. It has really helped them to work together and get along really well while I'm at work. My kids are very responsible and this gives them some extra $ for their Disney funds.

 

[WantToGoNow]

In the situation you are describing I think it would be good to give him something for keeping them - that is more like a "job" and not just watching your brother/sister while I... situation. My oldest is an adult, still living in my home so when I need her to keep her siblings for a few hours, I don't pay her and she's never mentioned me paying her. When she was keeping them full-time while I worked, yes I paid her just under what I was paying for a daycare center at the time.

 

[Rockygirl1]

Looking at the ages of your kids (from your signature) I see one is 8 and one is 4. If it was just the 8 year old and your son was just there to supervise him... maybe not. But with a 4 year old, he is doing more than just watching tv while they are in the house.

So yes I believe that paying him something would be appropriate. That said, I don't know that cash money is necessary. Something special like a season pass to a park or something that he really wants would be equally okay in my opinion. Or a few dollars an hour. (I pay my babysitter who doesn't drive yet $7-$8 an hour for two kids ages 7 and 3.) For your son, $3 an hour seems entirely reasonable.

 

[XYSRUS]

Nope. My oldest has watched the other 3 for years now for no money. It goes with being the oldest...that being said he gets other privileges the others don't.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

I have not yet, but my DS 12 has just started doing this. So far, it has been a few errands. The longest was a little over an hour when I got my hair cut.

I think if I was going to be gone much over an hour or my DH and I were going to be going out, I would probably treat it like he was babysitting and not just watching his siblings for a bit.

 

[mouse2mouse]

Yes I pay my DD12 for keeping my DD5. My siblings also pay her to babysit. This is all mostly during the day, if needed. I am a SAHM and we also home school. My DD12 helps with that also. (not for pay)

 

[imthatgirl]

No. Part of being a family is that we all look out for each other. If I need the help of one of my kids it is expected that they would help out the rest of their family.

 

[nchulka]

I would pay. I was 8 & 10 years older than my brothers and I was paid to watch them. I figure if the job is something you would pay someone else to do you should pay your child to do it. Setting the table, being part of the family, taking out the trash, being part of the family, cleaning up your own room/bathroom, being part of the family, cutting the grass, paid job, babysitting younger siblings, paid job. There is no reason you should get free childcare, and no reason your son should work for free. He should learn that if he works he will be paid. To all that say no pay, don't you then end up paying for everything for your child because they have no money??? Why not give them a job, give them some pay, and let them buy their own stuff.

 

[Colleen27]

I don't pay my older kids for watching their sister while I run quick errands or even catch a movie, but I would pay them if I asked them to babysit on a regular, ongoing basis like for work. Watching the baby when I run to get milk is pitching in and just part of being family; spending a significant part of the day on a regular, scheduled basis crosses over into being a job IMO.

 

[Grendalynn]

Wow - these are all great posts and lots of great explanations and comments. I see many point of the different sides of this conversation.... here is one angles I was thinking about when considering paying DS12...

1) He is working to supervise his younger brothers while I work - I'm not talking and hour here and an hour there... a good chunk of time (4-6 hours or so)

2) He is heading into Middle School this fall and will be wanting to have more of a social life and buy lunch when I might not be willing to shell the money out. This is a chance for him to learn how to manage his personal finances and how to save.

3) We talked about "paying" him with an online subscription to a game that he plays on line, and/or cash anywhere from $3 a day to a $20 a week cap. Its not much, but enough. Still trying to figure that part out...

We plan to have a "business meeting" this weekend with DH, DS & I to discuss the terms and conditions of this possible arrangement.

 

[mjkacmom]

It depends. If I'm running out to the store, and one of my two oldest happens to be home, I say "you're in charge, be back soon." However, if DH and I are going out, and have plans ahead of time, I will ask them to sit, if something better comes up for them, too bad, and I pay them half of what I pay a sitter (since there is always the chance they'd be home anyway). They do have to stay on the same floor as their siblings, and put them to bed, if necessary.

 

[mjkacmom]

1) He is working to supervise his younger brothers while I work - I'm not talking and hour here and an hour there... a good chunk of time (4-6 hours or so)

2) He is heading into Middle School this fall and will be wanting to have more of a social life and buy lunch when I might not be willing to shell the money out. This is a chance for him to learn how to manage his personal finances and how to save.
.

Once my kids reached middle school, they wanted to hang out after school with friends. I think you are right to pay him, because he might be really missing a good bit of his social life, and would probably resent it if he didn't get any compensation.

Dd15 loved hanging out after school (usually doing homework at someone's house), but gives it up in a second for a babysitting job, because teens love money.

 

[bookgirl]

I think watching a sibling for an hour or two while mom goes to the grocery or has to run a family errand falls under family responsibility, but really more than that and it really does become a job.

I would at least let the older sib have a small stipend.

And honestly, I know from my oldest goddaughter that in her twenties she has declared no interest to have children. She was an unpaid third parent to her youngest brother. She was expected to watch him as a babysitter for no pay because she was a part of the family. She often watched both brothers for short periods and had no problem with that, it's only when she was expected to be the full time holiday break and summer sitter for no pay that she really felt taken advantage of. Her middle brother is only 4 years younger baby of the family is 12 years younger.

 

[bookmama]

We pay my son to watch my niece and nephews