Do you pay your kids to babysit their siblings?

[imsayin]

NEVER ANSWER THE DOOR

This used to be my rule until a recent incident. Long story, but basically: I was home alone, during the day, a person was banging on my door, I went to the door (didn't open it, never do!), the person had a fake story why they were they. I called the police. It turns out that these people were banging to see if I was home. If I didn't answer, they would have broken into my house. (I know this because they were caught doing just that). Anyway, it made me rethink what I had told my kids for years about never answering the door!

Back on the topic, I don't pay DD to babysit. She gets an allowance and that covers it. We don't go out that much without the kids, so there is no abuse going on.

Jess has very strong opinions about her brothers, she loves them but she doesn't want children (she's 18). I think she'll get over that but right now she feels like she's already raised kids, and has had enough. I feel bad that she has that attitude.

I know my older sister hated that she had to watch us, and she never had or wanted children (she's 50+).

 

[DaisyD]

If it is just something where I have to run out for 10 minutes then no they wouldn't be paid. Any longer and yes they would. It may be family responsibility but that would fall on me, not my kids. They didn't ask for a younger sibling so I'm not going to take advantage of them like that.

 

[shirleyb]

I don't pay them. I have a 17, 14, and 10 yo and the 14 and 17 yo really don't "watch" the 10 yo, they are just "there" with her. She'll even get her own meals, and occasionally something for them, so they really don't deserve paid for it. It's all part of being part of a family.

 

[meandtheguys2]

I don't pay them. I have a 17, 14, and 10 yo and the 14 and 17 yo really don't "watch" the 10 yo, they are just "there" with her. She'll even get her own meals, and occasionally something for them, so they really don't deserve paid for it. It's all part of being part of a family.

That is it here, too. It isn't as though it is work to sit together and play the computer, and eat pizza. If they had big exciting plans, we would just reschedule ours, or ask my mom...don't pay her either!

 

[kellia]

Well, I started watching my brothers when I was 12, they were 7,9,11 years younger. I HATED it! Of course, I had to watch them every weekend so my parents could go out and I couldn't, even was not able to participate in any afterschool activities because I had to be home to watch them when they got off the bus. Yes, I am almost 33 and still resentful! LOL!

So, now that I have an 11 yo, I plan on paying her something to watch them if we go out, but not if I am just going to the store or something like that. I have only left them alone once, last week, for 10 minutes. Dh was almost home and I had to go to an appt. I don't plan on leaving them alone for a while yet, I am too scared of what could happen, though I have left her home by herself for an hour or so if I need to run to the store and she has homework.

 

[luvsgrumpy]

My mom never paid my sister when we stayed home alone because it was our choice too

Didn't read all the responses but this is exactly what I was thinking. I do not pay my DS12 when he stays with his brother and sister b/c they could always come with me. (Thankfully he as never raised the topic.) Of course by his age he would rather have needles stuck in his eyes than be seen with me anyway. If I am going to be gone more than 10 -15 minutes, I still always take DD6 with me so it will just be he and DS10 and they generally just fend for themselves.

 

[Mari annie]

no.

The only expection I did was if dh and went out for 3-4 hours, and son was 14 going on 15, he was saving for a car.


They never had an allowance either-that's just me! They never kept their rooms clean or didn't do what they should of so..... now they have pt jobs and have their own money, best to let them see you have to work to be paid! But how many of their friends go to FL 3 times a year?..........


How many days until a mickey pop?! 24!:

 

[eeyorethegreat]

If you hire a babysitter or have your own child sit (for pay or not there are too many varying opinions on that and I do what is best in our family) for younger siblings you may want to look into this organization. They have a great program (I teach the course periodically). Just remember just because a child is "old enough" to baby sit doesn't mean they are fully able to. Babysitting for sibs or other families' children is a big responsibility. Here's the site if anyone is interested in looking into it.
http://www.safesitter.org/

 

[jakoky]

this is an interesting topic...my kids all took the babysitting course at around 11 1/2...i never left them alone until they were almost 12, and i never let them babysit til they were close to 13 or just over...my kids are now almost 16, 13 1/2 and 11...when my oldest was 13, if i needed to run out for a few minutes, she would watch the younger 2...i never paid her as she always had to option of them all coming to the grocery store....even now, maybe a few times a month, she watches her 11 yr old sister if i am out, or my son does...they never think to ask for money as i always remind them as family we help each other out...if i was working and she was watching them, i would pay her something, but usually i am running to the bank, or for groceries(which she will eat ) , or something else...if either of my older two have plans, i go around it, and if possible, i get my younger one to come with...they get big WAY too fast...for the odd time they have said i should pay them, i do remind them that most of the underwear i wash isnt mine , or that whenever they need a ride somewhere, i always drive them...I should put in here that i do daycare and kids are around younger kids all time, and even though they were ready younger to stay home alone and to babysit, i wasnt....the older they get, they mature, and the more they are ready to handle something if it went wrong, yes, i am a worrier
sharon

 

[peanut12392]

We don't pay the kids for any chores, as we feel that every one in the family needs to pitch in and help out, that being said, we don't feel that babysitting for a sibling is really part of the expectation of doing "chores" around the house. They are 2 years apart, so we pay the older one to watch the younger one, and we pay the younger one to listen to her. We don't pay very much, but it does help keep them from fighting, and it does require some cooperation between the 2 of them (we started this when they were 10 and 12). He was giving her a hard time because he didn't want his sister to "baby sit" him. If they don't follow the rules (ie: she is in charge, he has to listen to her), they loose the money. They do cooperate so much more now.

 

[barbmouse]

My dd loves to babysit. I do not pay her to watch her brother if I run errands..usually less than an hour. I do pay if dh and I go out to dinner. We don't do this very often but my dks enjoy these evenings. they have even planned for us to go out to dinner so they could order pizza(before we leave) and rent a movie!!

 

[Tigger2252]

My oldest dd began babysitting her sister during school breaks and summer vacation when she was 13 (her sister was 7). We did not pay her at the time but told her we would buy her her first car when she got her license. So, when she turned 17 we bought her a nice used car that she is still driving 2 years later! Although I did not pay an allowance for chores, as I feel as a member of the family you must do your part, babysitting was above and beyond. Especially when it kept her from working a part-time job during the summer and during school breaks when she could have earned extra money.

 

[Coll0610]

I have 5 younger sisters. The first 4 of us were born right in a row, then there was a 10 year break before #5 and #6 was 4 years later. I never got paid for babysitting and I didn't really think that was fair - especially when I had to turn down other babysitting jobs or request time off from work so I could stay with my sisters.

We only have one child so we won't have to worry about paying him. I know other families that have a policy of paying if they are going out to have fun but not paying if it was something like a doctors appt, grocery shopping or a meeting at school. I think that's a lot fairer than the way my parents did it.

 

[calie_j]

I also don't agree with the 7 or 8 year old being left alone for 1.5 hours. Maybe 1/2 hour or if you're in the neighborhood and can easily be reached? I'm paranoid though, so I would jump up the ages. I wouldn't even put in 7-9 year olds at all. I would start with 10 for 1.5 hours and then go up from there. I know you guys wouldn't agree with me, but 7-9 year olds can be very iffy and immature. I would want to be talking on the phone with them the whole time I was away.

I'm overprotective by my standards and agree with you for the most part, but there are certain situations that I can see why the 7-9 is in the guidelines. Specifically if there is someone nearby who knows to watch out for them if they get home from school before you get off work or you have to run an errand. I've left my 8 yr old home alone for up to an hour but her grandparents live right across the street and she knows how to call or go over there, I also make sure she's busy with a movie or computer game before I leave. 8 is the age she started complaining about having to go out with me to quick run to the bank or other errands.

calie

 

[pjhootch]

We did not pay our eldest to watch the two little ones because we felt it was just part of the family structure. Sometimes she watched them at night so mom and dad could go out, and she watched them after school for a year (the twins are ten years younger than her) when I couldn't find a trustworthy afterschool sitter. We made sure that when she wanted to go out that we didn't make plans. We were careful to balance the responsibility with time away with her friends and her own activities. She resented them a little bit now and again, and they bored her because they were little and fought with each other a lot. Although we didn't pay her, we did use those nights when we went out (once or twice a month) to rent a movie and buy ice cream and popcorn. We were on such a tight budget back then that those were real treats. She complained somtimes and sometimes I told her to tough it up and deal with it

Now she is almost 26 and the twins are almost 16. The three of them are very close although our twins still fight with each other a lot. She lives 35 miles from us and still comes to their high school concerts or gives them driving lessons or just hangs out with them. I don't regret not paying her for a minute. She viewed them as a responsibility true, but she also saw that we trusted her and learned family needs to help each other out and watch out for each other in ways that have nothing to do with money.

And I still rent movies for them and get popcorn and ice cream when she comes home

 

[Kellyscrapbooks]

I also don't agree with the 7 or 8 year old being left alone for 1.5 hours. Maybe 1/2 hour or if you're in the neighborhood and can easily be reached? I'm paranoid though, so I would jump up the ages. I wouldn't even put in 7-9 year olds at all. I would start with 10 for 1.5 hours and then go up from there. I know you guys wouldn't agree with me, but 7-9 year olds can be very iffy and immature. I would want to be talking on the phone with them the whole time I was away.

I agree with you! I don't even let my 9 & 5 year walk to the park alone (it's half a block away)

 

[mouseketeer_mom]

I'm the oldest child in my family. My brother and sister are 5 and 10 years younger than I am. I babysat for them whenever my parents needed me to. Didn't matter what the reason. I was never paid for that kind of babysitting.
However, when I was 14 my parents wanted to take a class together. It lasted about 4 months and was two evenings a week, about 4 hours each time I think. Because it was a commitment of two evenings a week, they paid me. I think I got 25 dollars a week. Now, I never minded babysitting when I didn't get paid. I don't even remember thinking that I should get paid. But, for those months that I earned that 25 bucks a week for babysitting was awesome. First, the money was mine and it allowed me to buy those things a teenage girl might want that mom and dad don't see as necessary. Plus, I have to admit, it really gave me incentive to do a good job. Make sure the kitchen was cleaned well after dinner, that sort of thing.

My own kids are too young at this point for me to have to think about it just yet. They are also pretty close in age. (7, 4.5 and 4.5) I'm not sure it will ever come to a "babysitting" situation. I think more likely, it will come to the point when we will feel comfortable allowing them to stay home alone. Maybe when the youngest are about 10

 

[willoughbyclan]

I have asked my oldest DD who will be (14) in 9 wks to watch my younger girls for very short periods of time. Mainly putting them on the bus in the AM, so I can get to work earlier occasionally or running a quick errand. I started letting her do this when she was 12. She is and has always been VERY mature for her age. (I think it's the first born thing.) I DO NOT pay her for this, however, at the age she is now she more than makes up for the no pay in ball game admission, movies, etc. Seems everytime I turn around she is holding her hand out. She is certainly mature enough but she doesn't like to do it otherwise I would consider having her babysit for a longer period (like a real babysitter) and pay her for it. And to think years ago I started thinking about her getting to this age so that we could use her as a babysitter occasionally which would benefit us and her as well. Little did I know what else came along with that age

Oh well, maybe she will take a liking to it sometime before leaving for college or we can always hope DD11 will be interested in the extra cash.

As for what age is appropriate for leaving them along. I do think that it is specific to the child. They all mature at such different ages. I started allowing my oldest to stay home alone around (11), however she really doesn't care to even now at almost (14). She certainly will not stay home alone after dark. I allow my DD11 to stay home alone as well.

Thing is with (7) of us living here (my DM lives with us), it's hard for anyone to ever be alone

 

[PatsGirl]

I also belong to the notion that we are a family and as such we all work together and for the first few years my DS, then 14 and 15, babysat his sister 8 years younger, just because I needed or wanted him to, without any monetary reward. I have been a single parent since my son was 1 year old so there are many times (probably at least once a week) that he has to care for his sister. I have never thought about whether the care was necessary because of pleasure or because of work, just a necessity because why would I pay another teen to watch my daughter when her brother is right here? On the other hand, I try to plan my outings when he will be home, like school nights after she goes to bed or only one weekend night every few weeks.

So, yes, I said I never used to pay him but... About a year ago, my very precocious daughter decided she had issues with staying home with him (I know he was getting bossy with her too). I was getting phone calls from both of them two or three times each time I went out. So, yes, now I pay -- BUT I pay them both, $5 each, to not bug each other . He is here to make sure nothing happens and in case of an emergency, but they are both responsible for making their own sandwiches, picking up their own messes, and completing whatever other chores I've asked of them. If she doesn't go to bed when she is supposed to, she loses her $5. If he gets his "king of the hill" attitude and throws her off the phone or something, he loses his $5. The money doesn't mean much to him as he works a part-time job anyways, but the system works for whatever reason.

As for leaving the 10 year old home alone, I only wish, She won't even stay on a different floor of the house without someone there. She follows me from room to room and we won't even get into our sleeping arrangements. She doesn't neccessarily need me, any other person or child will do. She is terrified of being alone and No, I have never left her alone or forgot her anywhere, she was born this way My son started staying home for an hour or two after school at about age 8 1/2 and was staying home for a few hours by himself by age 12. I fear she may never stay home by herself.

 

[willoughbyclan]

They are 2 years apart, so we pay the older one to watch the younger one, and we pay the younger one to listen to her. We don't pay very much, but it does help keep them from fighting, and it does require some cooperation between the 2 of them (we started this when they were 10 and 12). He was giving her a hard time because he didn't want his sister to "baby sit" him. If they don't follow the rules (ie: she is in charge, he has to listen to her), they loose the money. They do cooperate so much more now.

I LOVE this idea. I think that is the reason my DD13 is not interested in babysitting. She always says that they won't listen to her. I'll be trying this one for sure!