Do you participate in childish nonsense or.......

[luvmy3]

I would just do what your dh suggested. If someone has a problem with something I've done, or not done or they think I did then they need to grow up and deal with it like an adult. If they want to play middle school games then I don't want any part of it.
Ironically I'm going through something similiar with a friend of mine but I do know what her problem is but she being too much of a child to talk to me about it. We usually talk every day and I haven't talked to her in about 3 weeks.

 

[diz8297]

I agree with your husband. Make enough of an effort that you can be in the same room but I would not maintain a close relationship with somebody like this.

ITA just don't feed into it.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

They don't have children.
so it can't be that.
they always give my kids bday and christmas gifts, I always have the kids call and thank them. so it can't be something like that.

Its funny because I have things I could be annoyed with her on but I let them go.
for instance, when the kids had their gymnastics show a few months ago, they said they wanted to come, asked me all the details.
then didn't show up, and didn't even call to say anything about it.
never mentioned it.

which is fine if you can't come but don't say you will be there and then not show up without a word about it.

Maybe not theirs necessarily, but I've noticed a lot of arguments/disagreements/hurt feelings between adults involve attitudes toward obligations, slights, behavior, parties, words - something - related to kids. JME. Hope you can figure it out!

 

[Ceila]

Maybe you're reading too much into her actions. Maybe she has something she's dealing with and is afraid that if she talks to you something will come up in conversation that she just doesn't want to deal with. Maybe she really is annoyed with you for some reason. Who knows?

Whatever it is, I would just go about my business as usual and not worry about it. By asking her you become a participant in the "childish nonsense," if that's what it is. If it's not, then she'll talk to you when she's ready.

 

[We_Love_Disney]

IGNORE!​

Why play childish games? She is the one with the problem. You have called and left a message. The ball is in her court.

 

[hereyago]

I am 42 and just started a new job-4th day into it, I was training with someone. Another person said something about something was missed-the guy I was working with pointed his finger at me and said "she did it".
And he is in his late 50's. He was supposed to be showing me stuff and didn't.

I was not happy. As soon as he pointed I said" did anyone not tell you that pointing is rude"? I then told my supervisor that I had that area and if I had missed something I will take the blame-I am not about to spontaneous human combust because I admitted not doing something.

The pointer later apologized to me, but I have been staying clear of him ever since. The supervisor asked him if he was 5 years old instead of almost 60.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I am 42 and just started a new job-4th day into it, I was training with someone. Another person said something about something was missed-the guy I was working with pointed his finger at me and said "she did it".
And he is in his late 50's. He was supposed to be showing me stuff and didn't.

I was not happy. As soon as he pointed I said" did anyone not tell you that pointing is rude"? I then told my supervisor that I had that area and if I had missed something I will take the blame-I am not about to spontaneous human combust because I admitted not doing something.

The pointer later apologized to me, but I have been staying clear of him ever since. The supervisor asked him if he was 5 years old instead of almost 60.

He's probably well known around the workplace as someone who'd throw anyone under the bus in order to take blame off himself.

 

[hereyago]

He's probably well known around the workplace as someone who'd throw anyone under the bus in order to take blame off himself.

Yes, I believe so. Every day it seems like he wants to tattle on someone. The boss all ready "warned" me about him, but the assistant put me with him and I was thinking "great, NOT".

 

[kidshop]

do you just ignore it and not play into it?

story.........
My sil is so obviously upset with me over something. what that is I have no idea. really.
she does not return my calls, so I haven't had a chance to ask her. she is not on email so no opportunity there.
the last time I spoke to her was beginning of July. nothing out of the ordinary happened, I haven't seen her either.

I did see her yesterday as she was walking her dog ( with my bil and another neighbor).......and she gave a semi wave, but she usually stops me to chat when we see each other in the neighborhood. It was obvious by the way she kept walking fast she did not want me to stop.
so I didn't. Couldn't have asked her the problem in that situation anyway.

but I guess my question is, should I even ask her what her problem is?

I am the type of person that tells you if you have wronged me. I don't participate in nonsense, if there is a problem I will tell you, I won't just stop talking to you.

normally, I don't play. Talk to me, don't talk to me, whatever I don't care. I always assume the problem is them, and not me, especially if i can't come up with any reason for the change in behavior.

but, I may ask (once) from now on. I had a neighbor who I was pretty friendly with (we would walk our kids to and from school together and the kids played sometimes) and one day she didn't even even look up as I passed and she didn't wait for me anymore, hurried past me etc. I would still nod and smile as we passed. Long story short, I found out a few months later she had been diagnosed with breast cancer and was dealing with all of that. She is fine now. so that may not apply to you with your sil, but sometimes things aren't what they appear.

 

[C.Ann]

I've had a strict "no nonsense" - "no drama" - policy for quite a few months now.. I'm just not playing anymore - in real life, here, or anywhere else..

I've been at the lake for 4 months now - and not one iota of "nonsense" or "drama" from anyone - even the "worst" of them..

Life has been really, really good..

I would just let her stew - until she's ready to talk to you again.. I certainly wouldn't go chasing after her..

Good luck!

 

[bored]

I'd ignore it.
I'm getting old and crotchety and have very little tolerance for childishness.

Second this, except I'm young and crotchety. If you give me the silent treatment that's less crap I have to hear from ya! I wish more people would do it actually!

 

[Rora]

IGNORE!​

Why play childish games? She is the one with the problem. You have called and left a message. The ball is in her court.

I agree with this.

BUT: if you want to know what's going on, because it's always nice to be on good terms with people, I'd call her (leave a message if you have to) and say: "Hey ________, I've been getting the impression that you're upset with me about something. I wish you'd tell me what the problem is because if I don't know what the issue is, we can't resolve it."

If you don't hear anything after that.. well, then ignore it.

She sounds like she's about 12.