Do you make kids say "Trick or Treat"

[TippyThomas]

I seem to recall a Halloween horror movie starting out this way.

A group of small kids come up to the door in cute costumes and say, "Trick or Treat!" They walk off together with the candy. As the owner is about to close the door, she notices a teen, hanging in the back behind the kids. He's all dressed in black, wearing a white ghoul face mask. "Oh! I almost didn't see you. I didn't think there were any teens living so far out this way anymore." She peers around, "You didn't come with any friends? Well, that's okay. That means more for you then! Here you go!" She hands him some candy. He never talks. He looks down strangely at the candy given to him, then wanders off as the owner closes the door. It is then we close in on the ghoul's face and learn the ghoul face mask is not a mask. That is actually his face.

Remember, All Hallows' Eve, or Halloween is when the separation between the worlds of the living and the dead is thinnest. This "thin veil" is thought to allow spirits and ancestors to more easily cross over to the human world.

Well, now I know I'm not opening the door! Well, at least they didn't show up last night, so I'm safe for another year.

 

[_19disnA]

All of the kids say 'thank you' which seems polite/appropriate. I don't really care if they say anything else. Usually there are a group of kids walking with their parents and for all of them to say 'trick or treat' seems unnecessary. Most of the rest of the year, I think small kids tend to be shy around strangers or don't often interact with people they don't know.

 

[Disneylover99]

Nope.
I’m giving out treats to have fun, not to teach protocol or manners.
I don’t even think about it when I answer the door.

We had about 200 kids last night. Not sure if all of them said trick or treat cause many come in groups. Everyone seemed polite overall.

 

[sam_gordon]

I did have some kids just come up and simply hold out their bags. I asked if I got to take candy out of their bags. Usually got a laugh.

 

[mjkacmom]

They should say Trick or Treat and, more importantly, Thank You! If they are under two years old or so, then they get a pass from me. It's called teaching them manners.

And if they are non verbal?

 

[mjkacmom]

We get a ton of kids, it was so cold, put out a bowl and just refilled it. I would never make any child say trick or treat.

 

[sam_gordon]

And if they are non verbal?

Would you send your non verbal kids up to strangers alone?

 

[mjkacmom]

Would you send your non verbal kids up to strangers alone?

Probably? Parents tend to stand back a bit when they TOT with kids. I have friends with non verbal kids, who will get candy with their siblings.

 

[dreamer17555]

No I am not prompting a child that they must say something. That is something their parent can do if it is appropriate for the child. You are likely encountering children that are neurodivergent, or perhaps fearful due to past trauma or hardship. Being a child is not easy and we often ask more of them than we do of adults.

As an adult I should be able to be kind and compassionate and not make a child "perform" to say something in order to be given candy. I am either okay passing candy out no matter what (no costume? no thank you? Not saying Trick or Treat?- All are still getting candy) or I am not.

 

[dreamer17555]

Would you send your non verbal kids up to strangers alone?

My son was non verbal till 4 and very limited speech until almost 7 and very tall for his age. YES we encouraged him to walk up and knock or ring a bell while we watched from the driveway or sidewalk. It was a huge growth moment for him to do that much and out of his comfort zone but was helping him grow. Someone trying to force him to speak would have likely triggered him to want to stop and immediately go home.

I am guessing you have limited to no experience with neurodivergent children. It is such a small thing to assume good intentions for a child and not that they are being rude.

 

[sam_gordon]

I am guessing you have limited to no experience with neurodivergent children. It is such a small thing to assume good intentions for a child and not that they are being rude.

You're correct. To my knowledge, I have no experience with neurodivergent children. I know all kids come up simply wanting the candy. When kids came up last night and just stuck a bag out, I said "what do you say?" Some said "Happy Halloween", some said "Thank you", some thought about it and came up with "Trick or Treat". There may have been one who refused to say anything. All of them got candy. Not a single kid went away empty handed.

 

[evilmommie]

All of the trick o’ treaters we had last night were super polite. Even the rowdy teen groups. “Thank you, Sir…Happy Halloween.”
My husband usually prompts the little ones by saying trick or treat to them first…soooo cute! I’m the one in the background yelling to my husband “Get rid of all the candy.”

 

[jdb in AZ]

When i went trick-or-treating (in the dark ages) a woman answered the door and asked what trick I was going to do for a treat. Don't know what she expected me to do -- I sure didn't either. We just looked at each other and she handed over the candy.

Last night the next door neighbors had a party. and neighbors down the street also had one. The kids must have been well fed/entertained because none of them bothered to trick or treat here. Yes, I left a light on for them, just like Motel 6.

The left-over candy is stashed away til Christmas.

 

[dreamer17555]

You're correct. To my knowledge, I have no experience with neurodivergent children. I know all kids come up simply wanting the candy. When kids came up last night and just stuck a bag out, I said "what do you say?" Some said "Happy Halloween", some said "Thank you", some thought about it and came up with "Trick or Treat". There may have been one who refused to say anything. All of them got candy. Not a single kid went away empty handed.

What you might not see is the other side of that. So the child who didn't say anything but got candy? If that had been my son would have then walked away quietly and tugged on me to tell me it was time to stop. No more trick or treating for him. Because he was already doing what he could and that additional request (that he was unable to fulfill) would have been too much and now his opportunity to be out with peers beyond school (so rare for a child with neurodivergence) is gone.

It is an easy thing to say something nice about their costumes or smile and just give them candy. Something to maybe consider in the future. You do not know the extent of what some families and children are dealing with.

 

[DCLMP]

No that’s stupid.

 

[Simba's Mom]

As I get ready to sit outside and hand out candy, I'm remembering last year. Had a number of kids that would come up and just stick out their bag. I'd prompt them with "What do you say?". I'm not talking toddlers, I'm referring to school age and older. Once they say "Trick or Treat", they get candy.

The parents with them all seemed supportive.

What say the Dis?

This DISer always did exactly that. Back in the days when we bought about 10-15 jumbo size bags of candy (and ran out), it was sometimes a lot of work. But last night we had NO ONE! It seems to have just dropped down to nothing since the pandemic. People used to bring them into our neighborhood from all over the city and surrounding towns. We had cars hauling flatbeds full of kids lining our street. Never expected this change.

 

[china mom]

Good question. It hasn't really come up in my case as it seems that all of the kids we had come by last night interacted in some way or another without any prompting. I don't need the words "trick or treat" per se but "hello, happy halloween, thank you all work for me. We are pretty spread out so almost all of our trick or treaters come in batches, jumping out of a trailer that is being pulled by a golf card, tractor or truck (sometimes ten or so kids). And they are instructed to grab candy from all four of the bowls on the table (four households represented) so it is pretty hectic in that moment.

So, I voted "no" but mostly because I took your question literally. I don't need those exact words but do expect most kids to engage in some sort of pleasantry - I don't demand it but have never had to..