Do you let your adult son/daughter sleep with their bf/gf under your roof?

[DisneyAddict_M]

My mother has a timeshare up north (the one I mentioned on the vacation thread). It's a 2-bedroom townhouse and she always invites the whole family to stay up there with her (and if any of us say no, she gets really mad, so we go along with it, but that's another story ).

When my brother and SIL were dating, they weren't allowed to share a bed. My brother ended up sleeping on the floor and my SIL shared the pull-out couch with my aunt and sister, which I thought was weird (I ended up on the floor too, ugh). But then again, my SIL was only about 18 at the time, my brother still lived at home and all that jazz.

My bf might go up there with me this year and my mom said he's allowed to spend the night, but we have to have separate beds. We're both pretty close to 30 and live on our own. Her house, her rules, so I didn't say anything and am going to go along with it (btw, bf won't be spending the night, but I probably will...but not for the reason stated ). I just couldn't imagine telling dd when she's 28 that she can't share a pull-out couch, with a bunch of other people in the same room, when she's 28. But, then again, she's only 6 now and who knows how I'll feel by then.

 

[JunieJay]

Well my kids aren't adults yet, but I'm sure I won't have a problem with it when they are. I don't believe people need to wait to have sex until they are married, in fact, I'll probably encourage my kids to take the car for a test drive before buying it, so to speak. So no, this would not be a big deal for me.

OTOH, if someone is religious or strongly opposes premarital sex then I would respect their wishes in their home.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

Once I was in my 20s and on my own, boyfriend and I could share a bed. During college while they were paying for everything .... nope.

I also believe that one should try the milk before buying the cow. It seems like men with performance issues perpetuate that girls should be virgins nonsense. Information is power.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

I honestly don't know how I will feel about it until the situation presents itself. I do think there is a big difference between teenagers and 30 y/o's especially if they already live together.

My ds (16) has asked us if he will be allowed to bring girls home to "entertain" (for lack of a better word). Um, no. We have had the facts of life talk many times with him and our dds. While we have told him we're ok with it should he decide he doesn't want to wait, but we will not be a hotel for him and his ladies.

 

[tedhowe]

If it's the parents house and the parents rules, then I wouldn't feel at all uncomfortable. I've got a lot of years yet before that becomes an issue, but back in 1991, my parents took my whole family on a trip to Switzerland.

My sisters were all married and their husbands had rooms with them. My brothers and I were not married - though one of them was in a long term relationship with a live-in girlfriend (who is now his wife of 12 years). They had already been together for 8 or so years at that point and had been living together for at least 5 years.

She had her own room in the hotel, and we brothers shared a room. My parents had reconciled themselves to the lifestyle choice of my brother - and loved his GF and wanted her along for the trip... but they drew the line at footing the bill for them to share a room together. Everyone understood the reasoning and went along with the rules - and we all had a great time together.

 

[Keggy]

My parents always had the rule that you could not share a bed until you were married. We were only permitted to share a bed when we were engaged. Did I agree with it - of course not!!! But, I do believe in their house - their rules...

 

[poptoone]

Nope! Not gonna happen under my roof!!

 

[jimmalru80]

No. My house, my rules.

 

[Bob Slydell]

My parents always had the rule that you could not share a bed until you were married. We were only permitted to share a bed when we were engaged. Did I agree with it - of course not!!! But, I do believe in their house - their rules...

Same here, both with my parents as well as my wife's.

I don't know whether I'll do the same with my kids -- I'll probably be a little more laid back (no pun intended ) with them, but since my oldest is only 6, I have time.

 

[Tyler's Dad]

Once I went to college, my parents made a pretty good point. They said that if my girlfriend at the time (now my wife) wanted to share a bed for most of the year at school, then what was the difference? Why fight against something if you hvae no control over it most of the time?

 

[Keli]

No way, no how! My dd knows how her father and I feel about premarital sex and we would expect her to respect our wishes when she's living or visiting our home.
Although it sounds like your mom's vacation is altogether different situation. Actually it sounds like she doesn't have the room for the number of people she invites. If I went on that trip I'd be getting my own hotel room and just spending some time with them during the day.

 

[Kimberly815]

My parents didn't until we were living together on our own already.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

No way, no how! My dd knows how her father and I feel about premarital sex and we would expect her to respect our wishes when she's living or visiting our home.
Although it sounds like your mom's vacation is altogether different situation. Actually it sounds like she doesn't have the room for the number of people she invites. If I went on that trip I'd be getting my own hotel room and just spending some time with them during the day.

Haha, my sister's doing that this year (getting a hotel room). We end up like sardines in a can. It's awful. I'm not staying very long. Maybe a night or two. (I can't afford to stay somewhere else this year, unfortunately ).

Anyway, she even has that rule in her house. It isn't really a big deal to me...I know how she feels about it. I just think it's kind of funny, since I'm an adult. I mostly just wanted to see where other parents stand on the subject.

 

[sue1013]

Once both my kids went away to college when their bf/gf stayed over at our house they stayed in the same room. We knew they were sleeping together at school. DH and I didn't and don't have a problem with sex before marriage. But if I felt differently I would expect them to respect my rules at my house.

 

[crcormier]

I'm 34, my fiancee is 32 and has a 4 year old.

Whenever we stay at my parent's house at home or at the Cape, we sleep in separate rooms. They don't even ask us to, I just know that's how they prefer it, so that's what we do.

 

[poohandwendy]

For me, it totally depends on the situation.

At this point, my eldest DD is 20, but I also have a 13 yo DD. So, no I would not allow her to share a bedroom with a boyfriend.

If I wasn't raising children anymore, it may be a different story, i will cross that bridge when I face it. I think my DH would be more conservative about it than me. I am pretty sure he wouldn't be thrilled with any of our kids sharing a room (in our house) with a BF/GF unless they were married. It's not about whether or not they can or cannot/should or should not have sex, it's a matter of respecting our comfort level in our home.

As far as a vacation situation, if it were me and I felt my parents would in any way be uncomfortable with it, I would get my own accomodations. I would expect my kids to do the same.

 

[mom2rb]

In my family, if you are living with someone than you share a bed. I don't know how I feel about my boys bringing girls home. On the one hand, I don't want them sneaking around and in cars. On the other hand, I had a boyfriend that was allowed to have me spend the night. His mom would want to make me breakfast in the morning and it would kinda creep me out.

 

[stargrazer]

First, I respect the rules of the home where I'm staying.

That said, if DD is living with some guy (out of my house/over 18) and they come for a visit, they can share a room.

 

[NMAmy]

Once dd is an adult living on her own, then sure, she can sleep with her boyfriend under my roof. My parents never cared and I can't see myself getting all bent out of shape about it either (and it would be pretty hypocritical if I did--which my mom would be happy to point out to dd.)

 

[MushyMushy]

As PoohandWendy mentioned, it would depend on whether I had an underage child living with me at the time. If not, then I wouldn't have a problem with it.

When DH and I were engaged, his mother wouldn't allow us to sleep in the same room, even though I had my 3-year old DS with me -- who would have been sleeping with me as well. Not like she didn't believe in pre-marital sex herself. My FIL, on the other hand, was fine with it in his house. We respected MIL's wishes, but just felt like she was being silly. DH was ticked off because he'd had to live with her bringing home men when he was a teenager and just felt that she was being controlling and hypocritical.