Do You Lend Money To Family

[Lynn CC]

I think it's awful that shes trying to guilt him into giving her money.
She sounds very irresponsible and I wouldn't give her a sense.
I would tell her you have enough bills of your own to worry about and then I would let the answering machine answer the phone. This way you both wouldn't have to listen to her money problems. Sell a house or some cars, and handle your own affairs. That's what I would say!!
I have lent money to family members in the past who are the same type people and they always want more, more, more from you and somehow you always end up the bad-guy and never get repaid. So my answer is NO!

 

[MrsPete]

Give her the money ONLY if you want it to be a gift. She can't pay the people she already owes, and she won't pay you back. I completely agree with the others who say that she'll be back asking for more and more and more.

These people are not destitute: they own two homes and lots of valuable "toys". They need to use their own resources.

 

[inaminute]

Oooohhhh, this post made me sooooo mad!!! How dare this woman think your husband is her personal bank!! And, to call your mother to find out how much you have in savings is just beyond ballsy! Good for your DH that he put his foot down and said no! Ignore the guilt trips. You obviously recognize them for what they are.

In this instance, there is no way I'd help out financially. I might give her the phone number of a credit couselling agency. Either that, or a bankruptcy lawyer. But I wouldn't lift a finger to do anything more.

They got themselves into this mess--they're adults--they can get themselves out.

 

[Disney Doll]

BTW, I don't lend money to anyone. I give people money, as much as I can comfortably afford, if they need it and I decide it's appropriate. But I consider it a gift.

If they pay me back, then it's a happy surprise.

 

[Free4Life11]

Sounds like they need an intervention. I would cut ties if I were you. Not good to deal with people like that.

 

[pammypooh]

If they really needed the money, they have assets that they could sell. Don't let their financial irresponsibility wreck your own family's needs or plans for the future. Including buying a cute pair of sandals for the summer, or wisdom teeth surgery or vacation. How rude to call your mom. I have given money as a gift before to members of family that had a rough time, but it was not an on-going situation, and I made it clear that it was a gift. I would not have given it if I needed it back. Good luck.

 

[mskani]

One additional piece of advice to the OP: Try not to discuss anything remotely related to finances with your mil. You mentioned that she tried to get you to postpone your wisdom tooth extraction and your upcoming vacation. We went thru something like this with dh's family and I could never understand why he never mentioned that we were going on trips until the day before we left. He didn't want to hear about how since we have all of this "extra" money, we should be spending it on his relatives instead of taking care of his family. Good luck.