Do you know your SO past?

[raysnkaysmom]

I'm just curious, for those married, or in a committed relationship, do you know all about your Significant Others past...as in, past relationships?
Did you WANT to know..
Do you WANT to know...

Do you have no desire to know?

Poll

 

[slo]

I know everything and it's not much besides his childhood
We started dating at age 16, and before that we "went together" in middle school. So the only thing I don't much about is what he did as a little kid. We've known each other since forever!!!!

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I know everything and it's not much besides his childhood
We started dating at age 16, and before that we "went together" in middle school. So the only thing I don't much about is what he did as a little kid. We've known each other since forever!!!!

LOL....thats so sweet
Snatching up early leaves little for a past...I like that

 

[Kathi OD]

Same story as slo, only we were even younger when we started "dating"....14. Some us were smarter than we realized!

I've known him so long, it seems like the only thing I don't know is how many times a day he needed his diaper changed. :

FWIW, we'll be married 31 years in December!

 

[happygirl]

I know almost eveything about him and his past. He knows mine

 

[froglady]

We only wanted to know about any arrests, hospitalizations or diseases/health issues (including STDs), marriages/divorces, and children by a previous relationship.

Basically, things that would have a direct impact on our present and future relationship. Who, what, when and where in the past? Unless it was in the above list, it wasn't an issue, and none of each other's business.

Been married 32 years, so I guess it was a good guideline.

Edited to add, I was 24 and he was 29 when we met, so we each had a "past."

 

[Nancy]

I know everything and it really doesn't matter what he did before he met me, he also knows everything about me.

If I had met my husband in his college days I would have run in the other direction, probably the same with him we were such different people in our late teens/early 20's than what we had grown into by the time we met. I think both of our experiences before we met made us the person we grew into and without those experiences he wouldn't have been the man I fell in love with.

 

[LuvOrlando]

-

 

[raysnkaysmom]

We only wanted to know about any arrests, hospitalizations or diseases/health issues (including STDs), marriages/divorces, and children by a previous relationship.

Basically, things that would have a direct impact on our present and future relationship. Who, what, when and where in the past? Unless it was in the above list, it wasn't an issue, and none of each other's business.

Been married 32 years, so I guess it was a good guideline.

Edited to add, I was 24 and he was 29 when we met, so we each had a "past."

Good guideline....Those are the important things

Congrats on 32 yrs!!!

 

[GeorgeG]

We know everythiing about each other and we're both okay with that. We've known each other since she was my kids' babysitter. That was like 40 years ago.

 

[NMAmy]

We met when we were older so while I know the basics and I've met his ex (my stepdd's mom) and he's met mine--I don't know EVERYTHING and I don't really care. For example, we moved back to the town that I grew up in and occasionally, I'll run into old friends from high school that I dated. Since it was almost 30 years ago and a teen romance, I hadn't mentioned it to dh in advance and he would have forgotten about it anyway if I had. So when I introduce him, I'll say, "This is So and So--we used to date in high school." It's just a blip on the radar and doesn't matter now, KWIM? He was in his 40's when we met--I really don't care about the girlfriends he had when he was in his early 20's and he doesn't care about my old boyfriends. While it's interesting, it's not vital information for us. It's not that we're keeping secrets, it's just hard to remember all that old history sometimes.

 

[froglady]

Good guideline....Those are the important things

Congrats on 32 yrs!!!

I do have to add that we do not live in either's home town, or even state, so that could make a difference for some, I think. Not much chance of running into an ex, and I did let him know (as he did me) about any exes we might run into and have to talk to. (My best friend's brother is an ex, as is his best friend's wife - they were both at our wedding with their spouses.)

But even when we were first dating and married, and lived in my home town, it wasn't a big issue. I chose him, he chose me, there was no else for either of us then, and still is not. Our marriage (I'm 100% sure on my part, and 99% sure on his) is until death. We renewed our vows on our 30th anniversary, in front of family and friends.

My parents were married for 60 years. DH's mother died after 35 years of marriage, and my FIL wrote a long essay about his life with her (for his children) What struck me was this line "Was I ever tempted to stray? I can honestly say no, even though there were lots of women around. (he was a surgeon) No one even came close to her in my eyes."

DH is cut from the same cloth. I'm not perfect, but in his eyes I'm pretty close. He's not perfect, but there is no one else I would rather be with, and my heart aches when I realize that the number of our future days together is smaller than the number of our past ones.

 

[HelenePA]

I know everything I could possibly know about him. No secrets here. Nothing hidden. I can ask him anything I want and he'll tell me the answer. Same goes with me he knows everything. Of course I dont have much of a past seeming how I was 17 when we got together... My past is short... very short.

 

[Keli]

Sure, we know, pretty much, about each other's past. But like several other folks, we met young so there wasn't that much of a past in the first place.
But if there had been? Wouldn't have worried about getting every detail, just the important stuff.

 

[SydneyBristow]

I know it all and I'm fine with it.

 

[december]

Everything. His father used to follow my mother around school. My grandfather helped his great-uncle in politics. We've been together since 9th grade-graduated together-went through every major loss (our grandparents, my nephew, cousins) together. We know each other in a way few people do. Our 13th anniversay is in Dec., but we've been together for almost 21 yrs.

 

[Planogirl]

I don't know much and don't really want to. What he did before he met me is of little relevance IMO. I just wanted to know if he had ever been arrested or married before!

 

[tomthebarncat]

My spouse conveniently forgot to tell me that he had filed for bankruptcy to avoid paying a rather large judgement against him for a drunk driving incident. Evidently both drivers were drunk, no insurance and ended up suing each other. I found this out years later when I did credit checks for banking, etc. I would have never married him had I known he was so financially irresponsible and lacking in judgement and common sense. This has been a sore spot between us for the last 6 years. Oh well, I don't know what I expected when I married a ghetto rat from Flint, Michigan we are now in the process of separating!! This is just one of the many reasons why we are separting. He is not the person I thought he was and will never be the person I need him to be!!

 

[Stitchfans]

I know everything but didn't necessarily want to hear it all. Some things are best left in the past.

 

[Lizzybear]

Yes, and vice versa. I have no problems with any of it. My bf used to have problems with alcohol and depression and I was glad that he felt comfortable with confiding in me so early on in the relationship.