Do you know a hoarder? What to do?

[tink_n_pooh]

Hoarding is a symptom of a problem, that problem generally being some sort of anxiety disorder, so that to the hoarder, having their "stuff" gives them comfort, a feeling of control etc.

You can probably throw a little OCD (they "control" their environment by hanging on to things) in there as well as some Oppositional Disorder, ie-"no one is going to tell me how I should live". Remember, OCD is not always the "Felix Unger" type personality.

OP, you can clean it, you can find homes for all the dogs and in 6 months, it will be back to the same thing unless the GF gets psychological help.

This is pretty much my thought process right now. I realize that the hoarding is really just a physical manifestation of some under lying problem. The gf has a real problem with seperation, anxiety and possibly some OCD tendencies. For instance, she will go to a store and see that there are only 2 boxes of cherrios left on the shelf, she won't buy one box even if she really needs cheerios because she doesn't want to leave the other box alone

 

[Silent1CB]

I know several serious pack rats, but not sure if its to the hoarding level yet. One, I haven't been in the house in a long time. She meets us outside. Her parents are / were the same way. Very nice people though. You honestly wouldn't know it unless you have ever been in their house.

 

[MzDiz]

I never knew how common this was until I started working for a utility company and going into peoples homes. My heart goes out to anyone trapped by this condition. Unfortunately there is such a stigma attached to hoarding that people feel they can't seek out the help they so desperately need.

 

[IDoDis]

I don't think I can post the link here, but if you want to see the ultimate in filth and hoarding, google, "world's most disgusting apartment in Houston." You'll have the urge to take a shower afterward.

 

[happygirl]

It's a mental disorder and just like any other mental disorder. You need to get some sort of professional help.

 

[Handbag Lady]

My mother is a hoarder and we've had a few threads about it here in support of others in my situation. It is a relief to know I am not alone.

And, I am not alone in my desire to help. But, we all know we can bang our heads against a wall of crap and nothing is going to change, unless the hoarder themselves want to change.

We can offer to clean. We can set-up appointments with specialists. We can save ourselves by never giving gifts of things (I prefer gifts of dinner or weekends away for Christmas and birthdays) to our hoarders, and we can certainly support each other, but we can't fix the hoarder.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I don't know what to do to help them since they will not allow anyone in to physically help them. Anyone know a hoarder? Been a hoarder? Have any advise?

If your people are ready to accept help you can find someone who specializes in hoarding.

They will never be "cured". It is a matter of managing your anxiety, lifestyle, getting in people to help, etc. They have to want to do it as well.

As far as the animals, have you seen them in the house? If conditions are that horrible for the pets someone has to advocate for them. Of course then they might be put down. It is really a no win situation.

 

[Tarheel Tink]

I would not even let a small person go to his house, for fear they will get crushed and die in a crap-o-lanche.

Not to make light of a very serious subject, but I at the wording!

 

[Robinrs]

I don't think I can post the link here, but if you want to see the ultimate in filth and hoarding, google, "world's most disgusting apartment in Houston." You'll have the urge to take a shower afterward.

 

[robinb]

I just looked. How the heck did she avoid not burning that place up with so many cigarette stubs?!?

 

[minkydog]

Maybe you should call the local animal control. I don't think they would allow someone to keep that many animals (unless they were on a large farm). I am sure there are city ordinances too about how many pets you are allowed (if they live in the city). If animal control/welfare comes out a sees the situation, they will take the dogs.

I would do this, for the dogs' sakes. They are adults, they can sleep where they want. But these dogs don't have a choice. They're stuck in that nasty place. Even puppy-mill pet stores have a certain standard to maintain.

Are they renting the house? Call the landlord. I'd consider calling the board of health as well and perhaps Adult Services. As another poster said, this is a mental illness. You cannot do much of anything to help them, other than tipping off people who CAN offer the right resources. Just don't be surprised if after it's all said and done, if she doesn't go right back out and acquire more dogs and more junk.

PS--mom is a hoarder, though not to this degree. Her 3 animals are well cared for. Her house is a disaster, but everything works, she can use the kitchen, she has utilities. It's just a huge cluttered mess that she won't allow anyone to touch. Oy!

 

[tink_n_pooh]

I've never known anyone this bad before, I'm glad that there is a lot of support here on the DIS I'm helping them to try to find homes for the dogs but with 20+ dogs who are not fixed, never had shots, and not house trained its really not easy. Shelters want $100 to surrender a dog around here, they don't have that kind of money and I don't have it to loan to them either

Now that the situation is out in the open (well a little bit, I know, our boss, and the womans sister knows) we've had a chance to explain some of the concerns that outsiders have that perhaps they didn't see before. For instance, our boss is worried that our coworker will be arrested for animal cruelty or something like that and make it to the papers, could be very detrimental to business - might sound cruel but its a concern. I'm personally concerned because they've already had complaints last year from the health department and they had to go to court, whats going to happen if the health department finds out that its still that bad or worse? They have been living in their car in their driveway, I don't honestly even know if that is legal, if its illegal what if they get caught?

We've been trying to really push and suggest counseling but they are more worried about getting the dogs out and cleaning the place up, not looking at the bigger picture. My coworker really thinks that his gf is better now and will never do this again, or if she does he will just leave, doesn't sound like counselling is going to be an option