Do you have a Christmas budget?

[ncbyrne]

Our family is constantly growing. DH and I have 5 kids...all grown, all married. As of this year, we have 6 DGKs. That makes a total of 18 people in just our immediate family. Then there are the in-laws. I'm just grateful that I am an only child! DH is thinking of retiring, but just the cost of Christmas (don't ask!) cuts a big chunk of our savings every year. DH is a shopper and loves buying for the kids - seems we are Christmas shopping all year round. And birthdays - it's always someone's birthday around here. Gift giving has gotten out of hand. However, only one DD and I think this way, and now that it's a firm practice, it's impossible to cut back.

 

[shortbun]

We have a very small family on both sides and we've bare boned the cost of Christmas.
Adult children do not buy gifts for each other-only the children get gifts. We buy one gift for our parents and we don't spend a lot of money on that. We usually just have fun getting together and watching the kids; two on one side and three on the other.
Even that is getting a little boring as the "children" are all 10 or older and want clothes and electronics mostly.

 

[golfgal]

We don't have a budget really, but we don't really buy all that much. When DH and his siblings were all at the age where everyone was just getting married we all decided to draw names at Christmas, even his parents are in the drawing. It was a nice way to not spend a ton at Christmas and now over the years we have kept up the drawing which really makes shopping easier. Grandma and Grandpa buy for all the grandkids and then everyone that has a Godchild in the family buys for that child. Last year the grand kids started drawing names for each other, too. We spend $150 for the "in-laws" presents doing this vs probably over $600 if we didn't. We don't exchange gifts on my side of the family for many reasons.

As for buying our kids presents-last year the got a trip to Disney so that was easy. This year they have all been asking for a large screen tv, so that might be the gift this year.

At DH's old job, he had 14 direct reports, 2 secretaries and his boss that we bought presents for, that got expensive! The owner of the company he is with now is Jewish so I am not sure if they exchange gifts in the office or not.

 

[lisajl]

We no longer buy for nieces and nephews. It is just too much and the older they get the more expensive they get.

I was just telling my DH (we have three kids BTW, 19,11 and 8), to tell his parents not to get anything for our kids. They really don't need anything.
If they really want to do something, maybe just a gift card to a book store or a restaraunt.
They spend way too much on the kids, and they really don't have it to spend.

Good luck with your Christmas.

Lisa

 

[Christine]

No set budget, I just buy what feels "right" and then stop. I tend not to overspend on things anyway, so it's not a big deal. Probably if I had a lot of kids and a large extended family I was buying for, I would have to set some limits.

As it stands now, I buy for my 2 kids, my parents, and my in-laws. Very small amount of people.

 

[mudnuri]

I only buy for immediate family.

My mom, my brother/sil and my nephew

we usually make stuff for everyone else, tins of cookies, or homemade bread etc.

Brandy

 

[Tiger Lily 03]

We have simple holidays here only buying for kids 18 and under making a bit of a big deal when the "last" gift is given to welcome the person into adulthood when they are 18. Parents receive somethings on the smaller side. It is usally a Christmas stockig with little things (those actually add up too). For the rest of the adults we offer the gift of time. We make it a special gathering either on the holiday or another time to just really spend time with each other giving of our precious time. It makes it easier on all of us and we have come to find a new meaning of holidays that are more fun and a lot less costly. While it is fun to give and buy for others, reality is that we cannot afford all that these days either.

 

[Mermaid02]

I'm an only but my dh has 2 brothers, both married with 2 children. For YEARS my dh's twin and his wife and dh and myself have wanted to do a name swap or maybe just buy for the children. The other brother says NO WAY.

Yes we have a budget- that's the only way I can do it!

 

[aprilgail2]

No not really...I usually end up spending about 1,000 on my daughter and a couple hundred on my mom...about 100 on my brother but then I have about 18 other people (cousins, friends, friends kids neighbors, etc) that I buy for...plus 3 girl scout leaders, school bus driver, teacher, karate instructor, skating instructor.... then I just give the mail man, garbage men, poland spring guy and UPS guy 20.00 cash....I start shopping the day after Christmas for the following years. Also I exchange gifts with three co-workers every year too.

 

[Marseeya]

We don't really have an annual budget -- we get what we can afford that particular year for the kids. Sometimes it'll be $200 per kid and sometimes more, usually not over $500 per kid. DH and I make them our priority, then each other. Sometimes we'll spend a lot on each other for Christmas, some years we'll spend like 10 bucks and wait until after the New Year and have our own "special" gift giving Christmas. I actually love the years we do that.

As for family, we've cut out gift giving for extended family members like aunts, uncles, cousins and whatnot. In my family, we draw names between my mom, dad, sister, BIL, an uncle, DH, and me. That has really helped my parents a lot, but then they cheat and still buy my sister and I something special, then feel bad and buy my uncle something small, and THEN buy DH and BIL something. We keep yelling at them to cut it out and just get something for the kids (3 grandkids), but they don't listen.

We pretty much quit buying for the in-laws and we don't go in on the gift exchange in their family. Nothing seems to satisfy them. One year we did their gift exchange and ended up really humiliated. My DH used to paint ceramics. Wow, he did a really professional job on them, which is amazing considering he has no artistic talent. He could do such detail on his work. He sold a few pieces for quite a bit of money. Anyway, he did a piece for this gift exchange and was reprimanded by his mom for giving something handmade. That took so much joy of gift giving from him. He painted a few pieces at the request of my mom, but then never went back to doing it again.

 

[WDWLVR]

Not a budget really but we also don't have a large group to buy for. We buy presents for immediate family (MIL, FIL, BIL & SIL). We also buy for my DH's one living Grandmother and for my Godmother. For the rest of the family (aunts, uncles, etc.) we do home made gifts (fudge, cookies, etc.).

DH and I don't really buy big gifts for each other. Instead we usually have a trip that counts as our present. Last year it was our 10 day cruise on DCL. This year it is an early December trip to Disneyland. Spending the time together and making memories are great gifts!

 

[Kahana-ri]

We don't have a budget-I just try to start real early so in December its not so much of a financial shock. I pay cash for all Christmas items. There is no use in paying for Christmas presents come six months down the road. Most family is out of state so I send gift cards to my siblings and the adults get framed pictures of my DS. I try to send some sort of New England related gift as well. DH and I always say we don't need to buy each other anything, but neither of us ever hold up to this deal. My bf and I just buy for the kids. For my close friends we go out to a holiday dinner. I believe in trying to do more holiday events and make memories over giving presents.

 

[Mimi Q]

Yes, I have budget. I have to buy for approximately 30 people. I make a list each year of who I am buying for and how much I am going to spend. I put money throughout the year in a savings account, so I don't have to put gifts on credit cards.

And yes you can cut down. My DH's parents went wild at Christmas when our oldest DD was the only grandchild for several years. Now they have 5 grandchildren, and they just told us all it was too expensive to spend that much on each child. They cut down on all our gifts by about 50% and no one was mad.

 

[snoopy]

I'm from a large family -- one of 9 kids, and we have produced 29 offspring. DH is from a family of 7 kids, and some of his sisters have children and grandchildren, so between the two of us, we have close to 50 nieces and nephews. We long since stopped doing the birthday thing, but I do send cards to all of them without fail. I always take the time to write a nice note, to me that is worth its weight in gold and better than a present anyone could buy.

For Christmas we draw names. The adults all draw a name, and the kids draw a name. Works out beautifully, and we have so much fun with it every year. We do it Secret Santa style so by the time Christmas rolls around the build-up and suspense is there, figuring out who has your name.

We do have a budget for Christmas, and with the exception of one year, I've not gone over it. The one year I did go hogwild (and DH was completey out of control buying the boys everything he wanted as a kid but never got!) I found were just too overwhelming for the kids....they actually got TOO much. So now we narrow it down to about $500 between the two of them, and about $300 for the Christmas name draw in my famly and something for my FIL and grandmother. I like to keep it under $1000 and seem to be able to get plenty for that amount, I do shop early, I'm just about done for this year -- I look for sales throughout the year and buy as I go. Right now my closet is so filled to the brim with stuff I'm hiding for Santa Claus.....

And I agree with the person who said more time together is really the key. One year we forgo all the presents and did A Christmas Carol at Fords Theatre in D.C., had a blast. The key thing is spending time with the ones you love and not making it an ordeal...we managed to do that and have been happier ever since.

 

[snoopy]

We pretty much quit buying for the in-laws and we don't go in on the gift exchange in their family. Nothing seems to satisfy them. One year we did their gift exchange and ended up really humiliated. My DH used to paint ceramics. Wow, he did a really professional job on them, which is amazing considering he has no artistic talent. He could do such detail on his work. He sold a few pieces for quite a bit of money. Anyway, he did a piece for this gift exchange and was reprimanded by his mom for giving something handmade. That took so much joy of gift giving from him. He painted a few pieces at the request of my mom, but then never went back to doing it again.

How sad. That was very unkind of your MIL. People like that take the joy out of Christmas.

 

[Dan Murphy]

I am afraid to ask!!!!!

 

[aprilgail2]

My 5 1/2 year old this year on her list has -a real video camera, portable DVD, Radio City Tickets, Broadway Tickets, a real telescope (she got a kids one last year that is really crap, cant see anything out of it) and a gym membership. Her birthday is in Nov so she is getting the radio city tickets for that-it will be a mommy and daughter day, I am taking her out of school for the day, heading into the city and going to the show then out to Carmines for dinner. She is getting the portable DVD from Santa, my mom always buys her Broadway tickets for Christmas, my brother is getting her the gym membership (its not a real type gym, its a small kids gym where they do arobics and high energy tumbling etc...) she is NOT getting a video camera though LOL...heck, I need a new one, no way is she getting one when I need one! I also got her some leapster tapes, cinderella DVD, playstation game, computer games (she got the computer last Christmas) and just some smaller toys she is asking for...she wanted amazing amanda but that dumb doll is 100.00!

 

[EthansMom]

DH and I have gone to where we mostly just give gifts to the children in our family. Years ago, we explained to our parents/siblings/grandparents that it seemed ridiculous to be exchanging gifts with other adult family members when all of us could go buy anything we really wanted or needed. Also, shipping was costing as much as the price of gifts in some cases! We told our parents that they could still get something for our kids, but we would prefer that they try to limit themselves as the kids had more than enough. We send out family photos for Christmas, so all of the adults are still getting something from us.

If I were you, I would just tell your kids that you would like to just give presents to the grandchildren at Christmas and Birthdays from now on since you're preparing for retirement. And that you'll be toning down how much you spend on the grandkids too.

As for in-laws and others, just tell them (ahead of time) that you'll be trimming back on Christmas gifts. It's not impossible to cut back. You just do it. Spend less per person on gifts -- set a limit. For my children, we spend no more than $200 on Christmas gifts and that includes stocking stuffers. For neices and nephews, we spend no more than $20 each. Right there, we have spent $500. Including gifts for DH and I, a few housewarming gifts, nice family portraits, and money for holiday feasting, our budget is around $1200.

As we've gone to spending less, we've also tried to get back to doing holiday activities as a family so that we've replaced some of the gift giving with other activities: decorating the tree as a family, decorating sugar cookies, going to a Christmas concert, going to church service, etc... We're really trying to get back to "the reason for the season" and away from the biggest day of "gimme, gimme, gimme" of the year. In that vein, you and DH could replace some of the gift spending by purchasing Grandparent memberships for the local zoo, aquarium, museum(s), and/or season tickets to the theater/symphony. Instead of spending money on "stuff" for the grandkids, you could spend your time with them.

 

[snoopy]

I am afraid to ask!!!!!

One of these days I'm coming to Chicago and I'll teach Marie how to really do some damage.

 

[icebrat001]

We are going to try and have a budget this year. I only give my Dear Partner (significant other) a gift as well as my best friend, I might give to coworkers but I only like 2 of them out of 4 so I doubt it. I plan to spend $750 on my partner, she asked for a lot, and about $250 on my best friend.

However, if we go on another 10 day cruise over the holiday, then we will cut way way way back on the spending, and maybe spend $500 instead of $1000.

Wish me luck!