Do you go to the cemetary?

[hereyago]

Most of my DM' side of the family are buried about 20 minutes away. Not far at all, but I maybe go there once a year at most.

My aunt was talking to me about it, my cousins, who I really didn't grow up with said that they are the ones who put the flowers on the graves. which is true.

I just have a hard time going. I mean, especially my DGF he was great man and when he died and thanks to my other aunt I was about 8 and got hysterical at his funeral. So I know he is gone, just like all the others but I can't seem to go, I don't want to see the headstones. I don't feel like they are looking down shaking their heads.

Do you go visit your loved ones in the cemetary?

 

[shortbun]

I drive through the cemetery where my grandfather is buried once in a while. It's close to me and his gravesite is particularly peaceful. I was his 'number #1 grandaughter.' He died when I was 18 and I'm 57 but I still miss him.

 

[disykat]

No. My relatives are far away, but even at that I've visited other family members near there and it never even occured to me to do so. I guess I don't associate where their bodies were buried as that significant. I do always drive by places that bring back memories of them. I've shown my dh and kids the houses they lived in etc.

We live near a cemetary and I've specifically told my husband that if I die while we still live in this house I don't want to be buried there. I want to be buried (If I'm buried at all, rather than scattered) at a cemetary that is kind of off the beaten path. We've been to memorial day services there, but don't drive past on a regular basis.

 

[MidgeD79]

I have buried 3 children a granddaughter and most recently my dad. They are buried near each other and about 15 miles from my home. I go at least once a year.

 

[antmaril]

Yes. My husband, my parents and my father-in-law are all buried at the same cemetery. I go several times a year.

 

[aprilgail2]

I have my godson, 2 uncles, an aunt and grandparents all buried inthe same cemetary- I go to all every easter and christmas and I go to my godson easter, christmas, his birthday and the day he died (which is coming up april 8th) every single year. I also will stop by them all sometime during the summer with flowers that we grow in the yard.

 

[Pixiedust34]

Our relatives are buried out-of-state in 2 cemetaries. We visit MIL's grave every time we're in town. We visit my grandparents' graves every few visits. There are local relatives who can maintain all of the graves with seasonal flowers.

 

[AnnaS]

Yes. My dad - Dec. and my sister - almost three weeks ago are now in the same cemetery 15 minutes away from my house so I will be visiting more often. I also have a few uncles, an aunt and a cousin.

 

[Nancyg56]

My parents are buried out of state so my sister and I go at least once a year. I don't like going but we took my Mom and my aunt for the past 30 years so now that my Mom has passed we still go.

 

[kacaju]

I go when I am in the area (2 hours from me) I just like to go *check on them* One time I went and found my grandparents headstone had fallen over, so I was glad I wentt o check.
The ground had settled and the headstone has been leaning for years, so I do know it fell vs. someone pushing it over.

 

[jlewisinsyr]

No, for no reason other than I don't particularly care for cemetaries and the whole concept of burials (I'm all for cremation and spread me around type thing - put my carbon atoms back into the world I was born).

In the past 20 years, I've been to the cemetary the same number of times people have died in my family and their wishes were to be buried.

 

[MIGrandma]

I never visit my maternal grandparents' graves, even though they are just about 5 miles from where I live. The cemetary they are buried in is on a busy road, and their graves are right up by the road behind the fence. It's noisy and not private at all, so I just don't go. I "talk to them" in my head. I don't need to visit their graves to let them know I miss them.

I do visit my Dad's grave about 4 x per year. I have a metal post/hanger by his grave that holds a small, decorative flag. I change it with the seasons. Otherwise I probably wouldn't go that often. I don't need to visit his grave to "talk to him" either.

 

[JESW]

Yes, we go once a year around Memorial Day. Most of our relatives are buried in the same cemetery so it is easy. I also know where everyone is so we visit, clean up the area a little bit and pay our respects. This year will be real hard as my Dad passed away 1/27 and it will be our first time back since the burial. He was the one who always went with us, even when he couldn't get out of the car last year.

Jill

 

[Gigi22]

We go to the cemetary on a regular basis to take care of DGM, DGF and DM and DF's plots. We drive there in the spring to do the 'yardwork' and put in bedding plants for the season, then we mostly walk over to do periodic watering. It is about a 15 min. walk from our house. The cemetary is a very quiet, peaceful place -- a lot like a park with mature trees and wildlife.

 

[RachaelA]

I rarely went in the past, but my grandmother died last March and now I go once every other month or so (more if I'm out with my mom a lot during the day). Its about 1/2 a mile from my parents house. I'm sure how often I go will slow down over the years, but I'll still go on my grandparents birthdays.

 

[Schminston-Mo]

No. I'm a "when I die, donate any parts of me you can and chuck the rest of me out with the evening trash" kind of person.

I don't personally place value of visiting/decorating grave sites.

 

[MerMom60_94]

Like you, Hereyago, I visit the cemetary maybe once a year at most. I have lost my DF and DFil within the past couple of years. I also have lost grandparents in my lifetime. I feel silly when I visit their graves unless I am there to decorate or plant flowers. Otherwise, what am I supposed to do when I get there? I very much feel spiritually connected to my DF and he is not at all out of sight, out of mind. I just don't feel I need to go to his grave to connect with him. He is watching over me every day and his spirit is with me all of the time. I don't feel a need to go to a specific location to feel that or to pay my respects to him.

 

[Tink888]

Never.

Like you, Hereyago, I visit the cemetary maybe once a year at most. I have lost my DF and DFil within the past couple of years. I also have lost grandparents in my lifetime. I feel silly when I visit their graves unless I am there to decorate or plant flowers. Otherwise, what am I supposed to do when I get there? I very much feel spiritually connected to my DF and he is not at all out of sight, out of mind. I just don't feel I need to go to his grave to connect with him. He is watching over me every day and his spirit is with me all of the time. I don't feel a need to go to a specific location to feel that or to pay my respects to him.

This is how I feel also about the people close to me who have died. You said it much better than I could.

 

[MichelleinMaine]

I don't feel the "need" to go to the gravesite to remember family. We do go to the Dairy Queen near the cemetery "in honor of Gram" She was there so often, they gave her a staff shirt. She loved her DQ and thought it was convenient it was across from the cemetery where all the family is buried. So while not at the grave, we do have a "communion" with her in the general vicinity.

 

[MerMom60_94]

I don't feel the "need" to go to the gravesite to remember family. We do go to the Dairy Queen near the cemetery "in honor of Gram" She was there so often, they gave her a staff shirt. She loved her DQ and thought it was convenient it was across from the cemetery where all the family is buried. So while not at the grave, we do have a "communion" with her in the general vicinity.

Love, love, love this sentiment! This is more my style. Going to DQ really captures your Grandma and I can see why it would bring you close to her. It's like when my family plays Canasta. That brings us back to when my Nana was alive and we always remember her when we are playing "Nana's game".