Do you ever wonder about people?

[mumom95]

One thing I've noticed since joining the DIS is that some people seem to enjoy lecturing other people. There always seems to be on threads where a person asks a question a few posters who feel the need to lecture the OP on the topic (or atleast it comes across as a lecture to me). Now, there isn't anything wrong with that, the people have ever right to answer anyway they want.

But it makes me wonder what they are like in real life. Do they go around lecturing other adults. I give my kids lectures. And I'm a substitute teacher, so I sometimes give the students a lecture. And my dh would probably even say I've lectured him a few times during our marriage But for the most part, I don't feel the need to lecture other adults. I'll give my opinion on something, but I figure they're a big boy/girl and can figure out how to handle it on their own.

Anyway, it's just something I've noticed on the DIS and has made me stop and wonder about how people are in real life.

 

[CathrynRose]

I think monitors make some people feel big and bold.

JMHO, of course.

 

[Sparx]

I think monitors make some people feel big and bold.

JMHO, of course.

 

[Imzadi]

I think monitors make some people feel big and bold.

JMHO, of course.

Oh... it's a size thing.


For me, I wonder about the people who go off on Angelina Jolie, bringing up things she did like over 10 years ago? They totally deny that she's changed her ways, grown up, and is now giving back to the world. They are like this and they don't even know her. They make me wonder if they hold onto loved ones faults & past mistakes forever, too.

I can't imagine holding a teen or young adult's past against them long into adulthood. They must be hell to deal with during a fight, when they bring up something from 10 years ago.

. . . and yes, I've brought up this speculation before.

 

[mumom95]

I think monitors make some people feel big and bold.

JMHO, of course.

Yeah, I agree with this. But some people do it so much that I have a feeling that is just their personality and if that's the case, they probably do it in their real life also.

 

[starstruck93]

LOL! Yes, I noticed this on one of the "Cash for Cluckers" threads! LOL! Poeple got lectured about being "irresponsible" for purchasing a car! I just overlook it. I'm on a childrens's clothing board with 30,000 other hormonal women and I see the same thing over there. The best threads over there are the "Organic" moms that criticize the "non-organic" moms! LOL! My child eats Mcdonalds so I'm in serious trouble with the organic moms!

 

[HelenePA]

I use to be part of a large pregnancy board (that has pretty much shut down) in 2005-2006 it was epidural vs natural.. then you got circumcision vs non circumcision, and the worst of all is breastfeeding vs bottle... but I really do wonder what some ppl on here are really like in real life. Stuff some people say to each on here makes me go I wonder if they say this stuff to peoples faces or are they all just high and mighty online

 

[Carys]

I think it's the nature of the internet, going right back to usenet and bulletin boards.

The anonymity of the internet means people may answer more directly than they might if speaking to someone face to face, and (a big factor often overlooked when people bring up this topic) also means people ask questions or share personal situations they never would if speaking to someone face to face (ones more likely to incite stronger responses). Additionally, it's harder to soften tone in text than it is in voice, so answers may be read as harsher than intended.

Lastly, in real life we tend to "flock" with like minded people so are less likely to get divergent views when we ask a question, whereas on the net you're going to get just about the full spectrum of views depending on where you post, so when it may seem like people are being jumped on, I think really it's just the balance of opinion of those posting is different from what we might have assumed it would be and we're naturally reacting to having that assumption challenged.

So no I don't think it necessarily reflects personality in real life, I think it reflects the medium where the discussion is taking place Interesting question though isn't it!

 

[ericamanda01]

I think monitors make some people feel big and bold.

JMHO, of course.

Cathryn, here I thought everyone else was perfect but me!

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

There is a thread about elderly people losing their "filter". I think that most people think like they post, but their "filter" will not allow them to say what they think around people that they know. The "filter" can be willingly removed on the internet.

Then there are people like me, who never apply a filter (except at work, where certain subjects are off limits). Everyone that I know understands how I feel about any subject that we have discussed (including them). I do not lie to spare people's feelings. Ask if a dress makes you look fat and you had better be prepared to hear yes if it does...

I think that the world would be a better place if we removed the "filter" a little more often. Better to understand one another and have fewer friends than to pass through a crowd of strangers every day, pretending that they are all your friends when they don't even know you. JMO...

 

[Philagoofy]

I love You Tube, the performances from years ago, some of the videos people post of themselves singing/playing are great. What I don't understand are the foul mouthed comments people leave. If something is not to their liking, just click it off, why do they have to leave negative comments? Why do some leave profanity laced positive comments? Then they get into tirades with other commenters. So, yes, I stop reading them & just pay attention to the performance. I don't understand why people have to be so disrespectful and foul mouthed nowadays.

 

[just4today]

It's easy to perceive something as a "lecture" when someone is expressing an opinion that is opposite to yours.

 

[Jennasis]

It's easy to perceive something as a "lecture" when someone is expressing an opinion that is opposite to yours.

True, but there is definitely a different tone between a lecture and an expression of a differing opinion. I like the people who are the voice of dissent, who play devil's advocate, but holier than thou and lecturing isn't cool.

 

[DebIreland]

How dare you lecture people about, um, lecturing people. Instead of lecturing us all maybe you should fix your marriage and stop lecturing your poor dh - the man is but a shell of his former self from all your lecturing. Not to mention your lectu...., er, bullying of your students. Back off from those precious innocent babies.

Is that the kinda judgemental lecturing you meant?

I hope you know I was totally kidding OP.

I've seen so many posts where the OP's words are picked apart and taken out of context to make him/her seem bad when, in reality, unless the OP is blatantly offensive we simply can't know what kind of person he/she is from a few words on a forum.

So in short, yes, people do like to lecture here. I suspect they're meek and mild in real life and use the posts here to get out all their pent up angst and frustration.

 

[just4today]

True, but there is definitely a different tone between a lecture and an expression of a differing opinion. I like the people who are the voice of dissent, who play devil's advocate, but holier than thou and lecturing isn't cool.

Yes. All I'm saying is that the person may not have intended to come across that way, but because he/she is disagreeing with you, you might perceive it that way. We all have different levels of sensitivity and past experience that affect how we perceive things. It's challenging, sometimes, to get across one's true intent with words on a computer screen.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Yes. All I'm saying is that the person may not have intended to come across that way, but because he/she is disagreeing with you, you might perceive it that way. We all have different levels of sensitivity and past experience that affect how we perceive things. It's challenging, sometimes, to get across one's true intent with words on a computer screen.

Well said...

 

[Jennasis]

I pray for the day when computers can talk (like on Star Trek). Then we can have INFLECTION with our words. Maybe that will help.

 

[mumom95]

Ask if a dress makes you look fat and you had better be prepared to hear yes if it does...

But do you then go on to lecture the person about healthy eating habits. That is more the kind of thing I was talking about. If people ask a question, they need to be prepared for other people to give their honest opinions.

I just find it interesting that some people then feel the need to after answering the question go on and give a long "lecture" about why the other people are wrong with their point of view or why they are right about theirs.

Like I said, these people have every right to do it, and I'm not saying they are wrong. I just wander what they are like in real life. I know honestly it would annoy me if I had a friend that was like that.

If I ask someone if I look fat in a dress, I'm prepared to hear yes you do or no you don't. But I don't really want to hear about how I could look better in the dress. If I wanted to know that, I would have asked "what can I do to look better in the dress."

 

[mumom95]

True, but there is definitely a different tone between a lecture and an expression of a differing opinion. I like the people who are the voice of dissent, who play devil's advocate, but holier than thou and lecturing isn't cool.

ITA

 

[mumom95]

How dare you lecture people about, um, lecturing people. Instead of lecturing us all maybe you should fix your marriage and stop lecturing your poor dh - the man is but a shell of his former self from all your lecturing. Not to mention your lectu...., er, bullying of your students. Back off from those precious innocent babies.

Is that the kinda judgemental lecturing you meant?

I hope you know I was totally kidding OP.

I've seen so many posts where the OP's words are picked apart and taken out of context to make him/her seem bad when, in reality, unless the OP is blatantly offensive we simply can't know what kind of person he/she is from a few words on a forum.

So in short, yes, people do like to lecture here. I suspect they're meek and mild in real life and use the posts here to get out all their pent up angst and frustration.

Ok, I half to admit, when I first started reading it I thought you were serious.

I think you might be right about the pent up angst. Maybe these people lecture on anonymous message boards because they don't do it in real life, so they need some outlet. I hadn't thought of it that way.